Chapter Text
The day has come. A path that is written in the palm of hands. A choice made before her existence ever existed.
For years since birth, Sorra was told she was destined to bring fortune to her family's name. Honor that will be carried through generations after her. A narrative that will shift her entire world.
Through strict monitoring and discipline, she was molded into the perfect wife for her future. A future that not only her will be benefited, but also for the long years of investment her parents made for this kind of preservation.
As pure as the air, as delicate as water, as persevered as the earth beneath everyone, but most importantly—as committed as the flames of fire.
Sorra was soon getting married.
Soon.
Her head hung low; the veil covered most of her line of sight. She could merely see a small window of her feet pressed against the wooden planks of the carriage. Her mother spoke beside her, reminding her of things she had memorized at heart and engraved in her souls. Her father sat across them, agreeing to every word his wife says, adding a little frantic comment here and there, emphasizing how nervous they were.
They were on their way to the Fire Nation's palace to meet none other than the great Firelord, Zuko. To have things discussed for the potential marriage between them. To hear their final verdict. They had the final say, after all.
Sorra knew they had arrived by the time the carriage stopped ite motion. She didn't dare lift her head, afraid she might initiate eye contact with a man, afraid that everything she had endured—what her parents built on for years—will collapse and be ruined in vain.
As much as it sickens her—this marriage is her only freedom from this careful cultural practice. She needs to get away from it.
“Welcome, my ladies—great sir.” The servant greeted when they all stepped out of the carriage. “Please, allow me to escort you where the Firelord is.”
Sorra could only rely on the limited sight beneath her feet and the guidance of her mother. She was as careful as she could be. A palace this big—or so she heard—is filled with many people that could accidentally make contact with her, including men.
There were many thoughts racing in her mind as they walked.
What will the Firelord be like?
Will he accept this marriage?
What will happen to me if their verdict is negative?
It was mostly made out entirely from fear. She coulr say it was also out of desperation.
They have seemed to arrive at the said room when she heard a sliding door rustling open to the side. Sorra slightly looked up—ever so did—only to meet eyes with a man that held a gaze sharp and calculated.
Shit.
He was looking at me, right? I looked at him?
Panic was setting into her in an instant. She didn't mean to make contact with anyone! This was a mistake! She cannot afford losing this opportunity! All she could do is pray to spirits that the Firelord hadn't notice their brief gaze at one another.
The table went straight to discussion. Sorra merely stayed silent, letting her parents take the lead, to make amends to another man who sounded like the Firelord's advisor. They went through the responsibilities, capabilities, and demeanor as the wife and second in the command of the nation. She barely heard a thing from Firelord himself, which makes him more terrifying than what her parents led on.
“Is the lady as pure as you claim to be?” The advisor questioned.
“She is. Ever since birth, Lady Sorra has never seen or been touched by a man. Not even me.” Her father spoke with great honesty. “We had specifically preserved her for her first husband.”
“Let us discuss about possible scenarios where divorce can be suggested. Are there any conditions your—”
“Oh, she will not have any ideas of divorcing anytime or soon.” Her mother insisted. The room went silent for a moment. “She is destined for one man.”
“...very well.” The man answered, as if the veil covering half of her face was not a clear giveaway to his inquiries. “Do you have any objections, your majesty?”
Sorra instinctively closed her eyes. Her fingers slightly curled up from the tension.
“None.”
“Then we shall proceed to the marriage.”
The verdict was finally given. She quietly let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding, mentally bowing and thanking every god out there for this miracle.
“The wedding shall happen in a few weeks.”
She was finally getting married. Finally.
*
It’s the day of the marriage. Preparations were dulled, handled, and cared by the palace. All that was required from Sorra was her presence, nothing more and nothing less.
She looked at herself im the full body mirror; she was covered in silks of red and black that weighed heavily on her body. The gown was fully embroidered with the Fire Nations symbols and intricate details in gold.
Her mother entered the room with a smile she had never seen before. “I am so proud of you, Sorra.”
Proud. She is proud of me.
Not because of I am, but of what they have created from me.
She could only smile at her empty words. “Thank you, mother.”
“I've waited this moment long since.”
The cue was given. Sorra walked through the doors, head hung low with the same restricted sight—the only difference was that all she could see was her flowing gown and the red carpet before it. Both parents were at her sides, guiding her to the altar. There was soft music playing—the generic ones for marriage that did not matter, that did not hold any special meaning.
It's finally happening.
She was taken to a pedestal on the altar. The priest reciting blurs into the background. Sorra ever so subtly glanced at her right where Firelord Zuko stood in the distance. He was wearing a robe that looked as heavy as what she was wearing, detailed with symbolism.
He's intimidating as they say.
His gaze was casted ahead and she chose not to wait for them to accidentally meet eyes again.
The ceremony was dull. The afterparty that came afterwards was just exhausting and full of lies. People offer their congratulations to them, speak for a while, then leave, there was no absolute way they actually believe this marriage was built with love and trust.
Everything ended just like that. Sorra was left in a place that felt so foreign. She was thrown out of the only comfort zone she had in her entire life like a baby bird being thrown out from its nest. Now she's all alone to figure out the means to survive.
But despite all these worries ahead of her, she was more than glad of one thing: freedom.
The freedom she yearns wasn't as big as what people may imagine, but for her this is all she's waiting for. Marriage. To look carelessly without having to care about meeting men's gazes or accidentally touching them. To actually talk freely like a normal, working person.
I'll make this marriage worthwhile. I promise. For myself. Even if it's the last thing I do.
*
Evening finally came. Sorra was the first escorted into her chambers—hers and the Firelord's shared space. To think that she'll finally stay in a private room with a man.
The first thing she noticed was the high and wide ceilings. They were obviously way different from how her family's generational house looks like—even so, it's bigger than their front yard will ever be.
Firelord Zuko keeps his room pretty clean.
She couldn't help but comment. Everything was kept in order, like every item had its own place specific for them. The floors were spotless and bedsheets were tidy like no one has been staying here at all.
After scrutinizing the place, she made her way to the bathroom next door to take a warm shower to refreshen. It's been a long day, after all.
Thoughts began to invade her mind.
What are we going to do at our first night? Are we supposed to act like a couple on their honeymoon? I have indeed practiced a lot but I'm quite nervous if I'm being honest.
Not to mention that I have never spoken to this man, who happens to be our nation's lord.
One wrong move and he can kill me—or worse—divorce me immediately!
I can't let that happen. No.
Sorra exited the bathroom just as Zuko entered the room. They both stood still on their place and locked eyes.
It's my first time looking at a man! She exclaimed in her head. Well technically not, we did made eye contact before the wedding.
Firelord Zuko is huge. He's about the size of two me's by width, and one and a half me's by length.
What do I do?
Zuko was the first one to break the eye contact. He already had his ceremonial robe changed into evening clothes before heading inside. And he seemed quite tired as she is. Maybe even more.
“Good evening, my lord.” She managed to say with a small bow.
“Good evening,” Zuko acknowledged it back. He walked over the vanity and began taking off his crown, then the knots holding his hair in place, letting it fall down to his shoulder blades.
“Make yourself at home, my lady…” His voice was stiff as he uttered those words.
Moments later, they both sat on the bed across each other like they were preparing to do some sort of interrogation.
Sorra kept her posture poised, putting her clasped hands on her lap, but deep down she was extremely nervous.
“Is it true you have never touched a man before?” Was the first thing he asked which greatly confused her.
“Yes, my lord.”
“You can be honest with me.” Zuko insisted.
“...it's actually the truth. I have never met in contact with a man in my life.” Sorra worded out. “Not even set eyes on one either.”
“That was factual?” He questioned once more as if these weren't discussed during their first encounter of one another.
“Yes, my lord.” She confirmed again, with a nod this time. “It is my family's way to preserve a woman's purity for her first husband.”
“Since birth?”
“Since before I was even in my mother's womb.”
“Would you want a divorce, my lady?” He suggested abruptly after a series of questions. “Just tell me if you do.”
“That's…highly unnecessary, my lord.” She answered, pretty much caught off guard.
Does he want to divorce me already? We've barely been together for a day!
“Very well…” Zuko quietly murmured.
“This is our shared place. Take your time to adjust. Your schedule is yours for the entire week. Be sure to familiarize yourself around.” He began to recite all of sudden. The lord has lots of preparwd scripts, apparently. “Do not hesitate to approach anyone when you have an inquiry or in need of assistance—especially to me.”
“The palace is your home now.”
Home. My home. I'm living with total strangers inside my home.
“I will keep that in mind. Thank you, my lord.”
And just like that, the conversation ended. Zuko bid her a good evening and laid on his side—and all she did is follow. There was an awkward tension, knowing they're both wide awake.
That's it? He interrogates me with questions that were asked during our pre-arrangement then pretends to sleep?
I won't be surprised if this man loses his interest and divorces me like a discarded thread on his robe.
I must do something.
“My lord, isn't it wise for us to use this evening wisely?” Sorra boldly asked, sitting back up on the bed.
Zuko, who was also wide awake, kept his silence before speaking. “What do you mean?”
Is he trying to act dumb?
“Our wedding night is our honeymoon—physical intimacy is normal for newly-wedded couples, my lord. Your ultimate motive in this marriage is an heir, yes?”
Sorra had a highly anticipated grin on her face when the Firelord rose from the bed—only for her to receive merely a headpat—she honestly does not know why he had done that—before getting awkwardly tucked in bed with the sheets l after her full devoted speech to sexual intercourse. The room fell even more quieter than it was five minutes ago.
Don't men usually jump on their wives at every chance they get? I most definitely made it clear of my intention, no?
Does he not find me attractive or what? This will be a serious problem if he's actually not attracted to me in any way.
What Sorra didn't know from her clouded mind was Zuko was in full panic mode. He was stiff as a rock in his side of the bed. Just how could someone suggest that to anyone so casually? And coming from someone who've never touched a man as simple as holding hands!
*