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When Chuuya had agreed to come to the celebration, he’d expected a party of sorts.
He’d not expected to basically be dragged to a bar to drink.
He’s not complaining though, the bar had some good wine.
Not as good as most of his collection at home now a days, but he’d definitely have bought it when he was younger.
He was nursing his first glass still, trying to be careful since he had work tomorrow, and listened as the tension between his fellow mafioso and those pesky detectives eased as the alcohol took effect after their 3-5th glass.
It was a little embarrassing, but Chuuya was aware that he was a bit of a light weight.
“Sooooo, Mr. Executive,” the Agency doctor suddenly piped up, making everyone look from her to him.
“Hm?,” he raised an eyebrow.
“There’s something I’ve been wondering for a while now,” she continued, making him a little curious.
“Oh? And what is it?”
“Well, you’re your Boss’ Righthand man, sole Executive and main bodyguard, right?,” she asked, and Chuuya narrowed his eyes, wary of where this was going.
“Yes,” he answered.
“How did you two meet?,” she finally asked.
Chuuya blinked a few times, noticing the genuine curiosity of everybody around him.
That…
It was not an easy question to answer.
-Or well, it was, but at the also not?
Ugh, this was complicated.
He twirled his glass lightly, watching the wine slosh a little as he thought back to said occurrence, 5 years ago.
Setting his glass against his lips, he tipped back and drank it all in one go, hearing someone whistle at the action.
Removing the glass from his lips, he sighed, long and deep.
“It’s… a little complicated,” he finally answered, the alcohol making his tongue lose already.
“Oh?”
Chuuya sighed again.
“To put it in the simplest terms, I met the Boss after kicking him into a wall, breaking his arm, and cracking 3 of his ribs. I then also kicked him in the face, which left a pretty nasty bruise,” he admitted with a wry grin at the memory, that familiar combination of irritation, annoyance and strange fondness bubbling up like only Dazai can bring up, his eyebrows twitching minutely.
He raised his glass for a refill. With the way things were going right now, he was going to need it.
When he turned back with a filled glass once more, he found everybody staring at him with varying levels of fear, respect and was that awe?
It unnerved him a little when the Agency doctor giggled, so he took another gulp of his wine.
“Damn, did he make you angry or something?,” she asked.
“Did he -?,” Chuuya’s eyebrow twitched violently and he scoffed. “Let me tell you something about the Boss rare few know now a days,” he said, mainly directed at his fellow Mafioso.
“Enlighten us,” the male one said.
“The Boss, is a little shit, a spoiled brat, and a dramatic, petty bitch.”
Gasps filled the room, and the blond glasses guy from the Agency went into a tirade, ranting about how you “shouldn’t disrespect you boss” lada da lada da.
Chuuya scoffed and downed his glass, waving him off.
“I’ve called him a lot worse, four eyes. Besides, if the shithead had a problem with it, he would have said so five years ago.”
Not, that it would have mattered, Chuuya still would have cursed him out.
“Five years? You’ve known him for 5 years?”, a strangely eager Black Lizard Commander asked.
Chuuya looked at her suspiciously.
“Yeah? Worst five years of my damn life,” he asked for another refill, moving to drink.
“Do you know anything about the rumored ‘Corset Era’?”
Chuuya choked, spitting out his wine as he coughed violently.
“Nakahara-san?!”
“Do not, talk about those cursed years,” he hissed, his mind filling with memories without his permission, making his cheeks flush darker and it’s not the Alcohol’s fault this time.
The commander didn’t seem to get it, perking up instead. “So, the Boss really spend a period of time showing up in a corset?!,”
Chuuya faceplanted into the table with a strangled noise, much to the surprise and mild concern of those around him.
“He did,” he admitted, voice muffled by the table. “And if he does one more time, I will strangle him.”
“Wha-Why?! The rumors say he was drop-death gorgeous!”
“Oh, he was, all right,” Chuuya snorted, moving his head from the table. “I’m sure the 6538 bodies on the burning pile could have attested to that.”
He heard some strangled noises and whistles.
“That good?,” the Agency doctor asked.
Chuuya downed his glass before deadpanning at her. “I’ve never, seen someone with such a slutty waist, flirty behavior, and utter obliviousness mixed together as with Dazai Osamu.,” if he
“That… feels weird to hear in on sentence,” the male Mafioso, one from the clean up crew, if he remembered right, said slowly.
Chuuya shrugged.
“I’m juts glad I don’t have to deal with the property damages our seniors talk about. Apparently, they’ve had to rebuild a whole city in a few days once!,” the man continued.
Chuuya winced.
“Yeah, that was kinda our fault?”
“… What do you mean kinda?!”
Chuuya downed another glass, so he didn’t have to explain that, hopefully.
Luckily, the Agency doctor diverted the attention.
-By proposing Never Have I Ever.
Pretty much everybody agreed, too.
The doctor asked for an empty bottle and placed it in the center of the table, then asked for shots.
Once everybody had some shot glasses in front of them, she spun the bottle.
It landed on the black Lizard Commander, who immediately went: “Never have I ever… Spend more then 3 hours on a game.”
Chuuya gave her a mild glare, then downed a shot.
There were only two people, him included, who took the shot, so of course they had to tell how much they’ve spend at most, and he almost scoffed when the others were impressed by the six hours of the cleaner.
“Nakahara-san, what is the most you’ve spend on a game?”
Chuuya’s mind went blank for a moment, and his mouth answered before it caught up.
“-Er a month, I think?”
“A month?!”
“In my defense, it was a bet with Dazai. The winner would get a gift above a certain minimum price from the loser,” he defended himself.
“Did you win?,” the Agency doctor asked.
“…”
“Did you?,” the Lizard Commander asked as well.
“… No, little shit spend two months creating and then beating his own game,” he admitted.
“Boss made a game?,” the Cleaner asked, surprised, and intrigued.
“Boss, sold that game for 9 figures.”
“You mean Boss made Baki no D.B.?!,” the Lizard Commander demanded.
“What do you think? You’re looking at the person Baki’s vessel is based of,” Chuuya deadpanned.
“Eh?!”
“Spin the Bottle.”
She did, although rather reluctant, and Chuuya had a feeling he’d be hearing of this sooner or later.
It landed on four eyes, who said: “Never have I ever been late or skipped work.
Now that’s just unfair.
Was what flashed through his mind as he downed another shot.
“Yosano, why?,” Four eyes looked like he’d been personally betrayed, the doctor just shrugged.
“S.K.K. has one day were the prices go below the millions due to discounts. Ain’t no way I am missing that,” she declared, the Black Lizard Commander and Clean Up Crew Member nodding along.
Chuuya snorted.
“Don’t laugh Nakahara-san! We don’t have an Executive pay!,” the Commander cried.
“Pffff- I don’t have to pay S.K.K. shit, have the company is mine!,” he waved her off.
“Hah?!”
“Bet with Dazai. We’d both make a fashion company with the name as the other initials, and whoever had more success had better fashion taste. A few months later we decided to combine it to save ourselves the trouble after we tied.”
Four eyes spun the bottle, not wanting this to continue.
It landed on Chuuya.
“Eh - never have I ever dreamed,” he blurted.
Everyone looked at him weirdly as they took the shot, which, fair.
“What do you mean you’ve never dreamed?,” the doctor, Yosano, if he recalled from earlier, asked.
Chuuya shrugged.
“Literally that. I am incapable of dreaming.”
“He spun the bottle before they could ask more, which landed on the doctor.
“Never have I ever spend longer than a week to heal without the help of a doctor,” she said, probably intend in making everybody drink.
To bad for her.
“Yosano-sensei I understand, but Nakahara-san?,” the Commander asked, confusion obvious.
“eh,” he shrugged. “Call me Chuuya. Let’s just say my Ability has a healing factor.”
“… But you’re a Gravity Manipulator.”
“And? Dazai is a nullificator, and I’ve seen him heal in days too. Besides, for all that’s he’s not official, Dazai has completed all medical courses at fourteen,” he questioned. “Abilities rarely make sense, but you’ll have to ask that shithead. He’s our local expert.”
“…Right.”
Yosano seemed very intrigued, but decided to spin the bottle, which landed on the cleaner.
“Never have I ever… received a gift worth more then ten times my current paycheck.”
Chuuya downed the shot.
“Eh?! Chuuya-san, someone gifted you something ten times your current paycheck?!,” the Commander exclaimed when she noticed it, which made everybody look at him in disbelief.
“My choker is worth twenty times my current pay,” Chuuya said flatly.
“…It was my entry gift.”
“Who the fuck spends so much on an entry gift?!,” both Mafia members cried out, while Yosano asked what an entry gift was.
“When a Mafioso requits someone, it is custom to give them a clothing piece, ornament, or other such thing. For example, my choker was given to me by Dazai after he requited me,” Chuuya explained, ignoring the cries of his fellow Mafioso for now. “The White Reaper’s collar was his entry gift, also from Dazai. I know Ane-san gifts her recruitments kimonos. Hell, Dazai’s signature black coat was his entry gift.”
“Also,” he turned to the two Mafioso to answer their question. “Dazai, is filthy rich. He grew up eating out of literal golden spoons, and Ane-san said that he must have been taught that the more money a gift costs, the more worth it has.”
“B - But -”
“Just spin the bottle Kimiko,” the Commander cut of, and the Cleaner, named Kimiko apparently, reluctantly did so.
It landed on the Commander.
“Never have I ever… hit a child.”
…
Chuuya was the only one who downed the shot.
“Chuuya-san!,” the cry actually sounded betrayed...
“What?! Dazai is younger than me, so after my 18th birthday I was technically speaking hitting a child!”, he defended himself.
“Eh – Boss is younger than you?,” Kimiko asked blankly.
“By 52 days”, he affirmed, waving for the stunned Commander to spin, which landed on Four Eyes.
“Never have I ever… spend more then a million on anything,” he said, and that’s just not fair.
Chuuya downed another shot, as did everybody else.
“All right spill, what’s the most you’ve ever spend and on what?,” Yosano said, then named her own.
Pretty neat if he does say so.
“Hm, I think 43 850 734 564,59 ¥, on a pair of customized earrings for Dazai’s 1 Year as Boss Anniversary”, Chuuya said with a thoughtful frown.
Yosano whistled. “Damn, I don’t think anybody can top that.”
“Dazai can. Half of the things he gave me are worth like a few billions at least,” he shrugged.
The doctor didn’t seem to know how to react, so she made Four Eyes spin the bottle.
- Which landed on her.
“Ehm – never have I ever … destroyed more then a wall,” she blurted out.
Chuuya deadpanned as he took the shot.
“What’s the most you’ve destroyed and when?,” the Commander asked eagerly.
Chuuya thought for a bit.
“Hm, I think the Crater that is now Surabachi City, on my eight birthdays,” he said eventually, resting his head on his folded arms on the table.
“… Chuuya-san, I think you’ve had a little too much alcohol. Maybe you should call someone?,” the commander suggested gently.
Chuuya perked up.
“That’s a great idea!,” he said while whipping his phone out and selecting the top contact.
He tried to call, but got voice mailed – multiple times, so he began texting aggressively.
After a few seconds of nothing, he slumped back on down on the table with a dejected: “He’s not answering.”
The others in the bar looked at the quite comical scene with amusement and mild concern as the Mafia Executive nearly passed out. Deciding to let him be they picked their conversations back up, quitter than before so as not to disturb him.
The door opened.
And in walked Dazai Osamu.
…
No one moved.
Then—
The two Mafioso shot up only to drop on one knee in a bow, chanting a greeting of: “Boss,” while the two Agency members also sprang up, though they were more on the wary side still.
The civilians were very much wondering how they got dragged into this, some even vowing to never drink again, it seemed.
“May I question?,” the Commander requested.
“Hm, you may, Sikuna,” the brunette said, which prompted the two Mafioso to stand from their kneeling position.
“Why are you here, Boss?”, Sikuna asked respectfully.
Dazai opened his mouth to answer, but paused for some reason before ducking down.
Just as a chair flew past where his head had been, shattering against the closed door.
Gasps rand through the bar. Someone had just thrown a chair at the Port Mafia Boss.
Said man, had an almost fond expression on his blank face as he righted himself, brushing dust and splinters off his coat.
“I came here to solve that little problem”, he said smoothly.
“Who the fuck are you calling little?!”, Nakahara Chuuya yelled, glass of wine (When did he get another glass?) stuck out in front of him threateningly, the chair that had been next to him no longer there.
Dazai blinked at the redhead a few times before answering: “A certain five feet three, Chibi redhead with an ugly, tacky hat – oh wait.”
The Executive stood up, but lost his balance immediately and slumped back down on the table.
Dazai was next to him in three leisure steps, and took the glass of wine just before Chuuya could drink from it.
The redhead tried to snatch it back, but the brunette held it just out reach with a; “Atatatatatata~ That’s quite enough no?”
Chuuya, was not having it.
He lunged, tackling his Boss to the ground in an attempt to climb towards the glass that was put higher and higher with each reach. Dazai had to stretch his long arm fully to keep it out of reach of the now crawling Gravity Manipulator, enclosing the other arm around the redhead before forcefully dragging the shorter back of his chest to his waist so he couldn’t reach.
“Now now Chuuya, it’s time to go home, don’t you think?”, he asked, or more like stated, the squirming redhead. Who, was unable to get out of the surprisingly strong arm.
“M’ wine!”, the Gravity Manipulator almost whined, reaching out again.
Dazai, in a smooth, calm motion, brought the mostly full glass to his own lips and downed it in one shot slowly before presenting Chuuya the empty glass.
Chuuya paused, blinking at the empty glass sluggishly.
“Are you ready to go now, Chibi?”, the Nullificator asked, voice softer then normal, which on it’s own was incredible since his voice was rarely above 4 decibel.
The redhead addressed paused at the nickname, seemingly conflicted with something, before diving down, burying his face in bandaged neck.
Not a second later a light snore was heard.
Dazai let out a long, deep but soft sigh and gave the empty glass to a bewildered Sikuna with a once more completely blank face. His head layed on the ground for a moment, eye closed in apparent exhaustion.
Then his only visible eye snapped open and his expression shifted into a genuinely disgusted one as he quickly tried to push Chuuya off.
Keyword being tried, because the Executive was positively clinging to his Boss.
“Chuuya~! Your drooling all over me again!”, the brunette whined, arms flailing a little when that only resulted into Chuuya tightening his hold.
Eventually, the nullificator resigned himself to being drooled on, shifting Chuuya around until he could sit them both up and then stand up in on smooth motion. The redhead snuggled into the brunette’s slim chest, head hidden in bandaged neck and legs warped around the slim waist.
- Which, now was notably more defined with those legs warped around them tightly.
Sikuna whistled, as did Yosano, and Dazai gave them a questioning look.
When he didn’t get an answer, he made the notion of shrugging without actually doing so because of the sleeping Executive. He gathered Chuuya’s stuff, then paid generously for the whole bar’s collective tab, as well as an extra, free round and damage costs of ‘collateral damage and possible trauma’, whatever that meant.
Then, just before he left, he turned to the other two subordinates there, who straightened at the attention.
“You have Basement Duty tomorrow,” he said lightly.
“… Yes Boss”, they said with strained faces and voices.
Dazai then left with Chuuya in his hold, and the two Mafioso deflated once the door closed behind him.
“I don’t want Basement Duty!”, they cried.
“ – Wait! Kimiko, we have work tomorrow”, Sukina said slowly, realization dawning slowly with her. Kimiko looked at her confused when she grabbed his shoulders.
“We’ve had to much alcohol!”
And with that realization, the two Mafioso fled the bar.
And, Yokohama got a few interesting new rumors by the hour.
