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James was in a tuxedo, at the baccarat table in Monaco. Alec snickered, “Here we see the Eton dandy in his natural environment.” Q gave him a look. “Don’t start.” James huffed. “If I’m a dandy, I hate to think of what we’d have to call you. Fop perhaps?” Alec snorted. “You spend more time on your hair than I do. And you have 2 cm of hair. While I,” he flipped his blond hair, “have 10 cm. You are a true dandy.” “Gentlemen, I am working. If you don’t mind, please keep the chatter to a minimum. 007, I have spotted your target. Blackjack table at 10 o’clock.” “Acknowledged.” James focused on the table, playing his hand as dealt. He played a few more hands, winning modestly. The brief stated the target tended to play baccarat after a few hours of blackjack. Q murmured, “Eyes up. Looks like the target’s going to move.” James grunted. Alec looked up from his book. “That’s the target? That’s a gran!” Q turned and looked at Alec. “That gran runs the biggest ecstasy smuggling ring in Europe.” Alec blinked in confusion. “Does she store it in her girdle?” Q fought a smile. James coughed. He took a sip of his martini. “I’d rather not find out firsthand.” Alec shuddered. “Don’t even joke, Yasha. You’d need a full decontamination shower after that one.” Q coughed involuntarily. R laughed. Alec stood up and stretched. “I need a good cuppa after that thought.” He took Q’s mug and walked to the break room. James spoke lowly, “Incoming.” Q’s eyes snapped back to his screens. James played 6 more hands with the target at the table. He did not change his playing at all. He won modestly, keeping to himself. James nodded at her when she won with a 9 on her dealt hand. She smiled at him. Q continued to type furiously in the background. Alec brought the tea back 2 hands ago. He sipped absently. The device James had on his person was filled with delightfully helpful software, allowing Q full access to any devices in the area. James had to be within 3 meters and the electronics give up their data. Q was extraordinarily proud of that one. He straightened up. “Completed.” James hummed. Alec snickered. “No need to smell that charity shop odor any longer. Now, win a decent hand so you can buy me a nice dinner at Nando’s.” Q muttered, “Winnings are property of the crown as the seed money came from the Treasury.” James replied, “I used my own money to start the game. These winnings are mine. I want better than Nando’s.” Alec looked at Q, “Druzhok, where do you want to go?” Q looked up. “Somewhere commensurate with your combined pay scale.” Alec snickered. James huffed. “I believe we can work something out.” R was very seriously typing away at her computer. The minions were rather busy doing minion activities. No one was looking at Q or Alec in any way. No one texted Moneypenny and Tanner with the message “They’ve invited him to dinner.” Moneypenny was not snickering. Tanner was not smiling. M was not hovering over Moneypenny’s shoulder with a grim smile. “Took them long enough to get this far.” He sniffed and walked back into his office. Moneypenny checked the books on their relationship. Huh. Greta in accounting got the pool this time. She’d run the pot down after lunch.
A few days later, James waltzed into Q branch after his debrief. “007. I do hope your kit is in full working order as I did not hear any commotion.” “Lovely to see you again, Q. My kit is intact.” He placed all his items on the tray. Alec walked in while James was placing his last item on the tray. “James, you’re back.” “Hello Alec. You look well today.” “Thank you. New shampoo.” Q sighed. “If the two of you are quite finished, perhaps 007 can fill out his form to complete the equipment handover?” “Of course.” James filled out the paperwork. Alec chatted with R while he did. “There. All done, Q.” “Excellent. Thank you, 007.” He took a sip of his tea. “Have you been to the Charing Cross Collector's Market? I hear this week the antique sellers are bringing their books.” James' eyes got bright. “No, I hadn't heard. I might get a good copy of Utopia.” Alec grinned. “I have been looking for a better original copy of Anna Karenina. Mine has some water damage.” Q tilted his head. “Well, I am going on Saturday. Perhaps you'd like to join me?” The boys said together, “We’d love to.” Minion #17 pumped her fist at her desk. The pool for this week was hers. Q sighed. “Perhaps less attention can be paid to my weekend plans, and more to your agent. The car is getting closer to the target location.” R snorted quietly into her drink. Moneypenny needed to hear this immediately. She’d run some files up shortly.
Q sat on his bed Friday night hyperventilating. “What did I do Cadbury? I invited both of them to come shopping with me tomorrow. In my branch! Everyone at 6 knew 20 minutes after I did it. Hell, MI5 knew within an hour.” He flopped back on his bed. “Uuuuugh why did I do that?” He rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “This will be a disaster. Do you understand me? A disaster. Why did I do this to myself?” As Q bemoaned his previous actions, Mars walked over and sat on Q’s chest. He started purring. Q automatically put his hands in Mars’ soft fur and pet his cat. His breathing slowed. Cadbury mewed softly near his head. “Thank you, darlings. I needed that. You get extra treats for being excellent therapy animals.”
Saturday morning was rough for Q. He vacillated between hyperventilating and angry muttering for an hour while he shredded toast and ignored his tea. Cadbury had enough. She swatted his leg and let out a loud, “Miao!” Q crumpled. “Yes, I am being right foolish again aren’t I sweetling?” He scratched her soft head between her ears. “Thank you. I’ll see if they have something nice at the market, shall I?” Q got up and got dressed. He wore a pair of black jeans, an emerald sweater, and yellow Converses. He switched out his glasses for the pair with clear arms. His satchel was ready by the door. “Your bowls are full, your water fountain is refilled, your treats are in the toys. I’ll see you in a while.” He picked up his satchel and left the flat.
Q took the tube to Embankment Underground Station. As he exited the station, he saw Alec and James. They looked comfortable today in jeans, sweaters, and cups of tea in hand. Alec raised his hand. “Good morning. I like your Chucks.” James agreed. “They look good on you.” Q smiled. “Thank you. You look nice today as well.” Alec flipped his hair. “It’s the new shampoo. Twice the shine.” James snorted. “Does the conditioner remove 10 brain cells each time you use it?” Alec grinned. “No, that’s your cooking.” “You’re the one who got us evicted twice for fires while cooking.” “Lies and slander.” Q laughed at that. He asked, “James, do you have an apron?” Alec quickly said, “It has ruffles!” James smacked Alec’s head. “There. 10 more brain cells.”
Q gestured, “Shall we? I want to look through the books.” “Lead on, druzhok. I hope they have a good Russian selection.” James looked at him sideways. “You read French, Italian, and some Romanian. Perhaps you can broaden your search criteria?” Alec took a sip of tea. “Mother Russia first. All others second. A man must be loyal.” Q smiled. “Romanian?” James smirked. “He was in love for a while.” “Hush. I am always in love.” “That’s true. You are very loving.” Alec smiled gently. “Always, Yasha.” Q turned around and led the way to the first stall. He didn’t know what to do with so much emotion packed into two words.
They browsed happily for a few hours, finding some interesting trinkets. Unfortunately, none of the books they wanted were at the market. They walked up the street to have lunch at a local pub. Over chips, they debated literature. James asked, “Why Emma?” Q said, “She’s brilliant and clueless at the same time.” Alec snorted, “Alicia Silverstone was perfect in that movie.” Q asked, “Personal hero? Blonde, rich, long shiny hair?” James snorted lager out his nose. Alec laughed hard enough to start crying. Q sat there grinning like a loon. James mopped up his mess while Alec got his breathing under control. “Fair play. The minions would never believe you made James snort lager out his nose.” “No need to tell the minions. I must keep a good reputation after all.” Q raised an eyebrow. “After we’ve all watched both of you have sex, torture, and generally cause mayhem as your jobs, I doubt their opinions of you could change much.” Alec shook his head. “This would. This means he’s human. Not an android, programmed with loyalty to the crown above all.” James shook his head, softly smiling. “Not the crown. An idea. England is an idea.” Q’s drink stopped halfway to his mouth. Alec smiled slightly. “So is love. Both are ideas worth fighting for.” James smiled back. “Worth dying for.” Q quietly replied, “Worth living for.” Alec and James nodded.
They parted ways after lunch. Q briefly hugged both Alec and James. Q blushed. “Have a good evening, gentlemen.” He turned and walked towards the station. James and Alec look at each other. They turned towards their own station, walking close enough to brush shoulders.