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Moneypenny went over to Q’s flat Saturday evening. She was carrying takeout and wine. “Tell me everything.” They ate on the couch, sipping their wine. “I had a fit this morning. I almost didn’t go. Cadbury set me straight.” “What a good kitty.” Moneypenny fed her a bite of chicken. “It went well. We met just outside the station. They were handsome. Charming. We didn’t find the books we were looking for unfortunately.” Q paused to take a bite. “What did they want?” “James wanted Utopia. Alec Anna Karenina.” Moneypenny blinked. “That seems a bit odd for those two.” She shrugged and took another bite. “I saw them at the book store the day Tanner sent me home early. Got a 3-volume edition of Emma.” Moneypenny snorted. “I know they didn’t know so that was a true coincidence. After seeing their last joint mission it’s a bit surprising they spend their days off at a bookstore.” “It makes more sense when you think about it. They have enough excitement at work. They must like a nice quiet evening with a good book.” Moneypenny said, “Point,” and took a drink. “In the pub, we were chatting about which books we were looking for and why. James asked why Emma? I said she’s brilliant and clueless. I said something snarky to Alec about Alicia Silverstone being his hero with her shiny blonde hair and James snorted lager out his nose.” Moneypenny broke out into giggles. “The suave 007 snorting lager out his nose in a pub!” She flopped back on the couch. “My life is now complete. Knowing he did that in public.” Q laughed along. “It was fantastic to watch.” They each took a few minutes to laugh. “Whew. I needed that.” “So did I.” Q shook his head and continued the story. “James asked if I could not tell the minions.” “Fat chance. I’m telling M and Tanner on Monday.” Q tipped his glass in her direction. “I said we’ve seen them torture, this couldn’t change their minds. And then…” He put his drink down and took a breath. Moneypenny looked up. “Then Alec said it would prove he was human, not a robot programmed to be blindly loyal to the crown." Q took another deep breath. "James said an idea. England is an idea. Alec said so is love.” Moneypenny’s hand flew to her mouth. She teared up. “They said it was worth fighting for. Worth dying for." He paused again. "I said Worth living for.” Q’s head dropped. Moneypenny cleared her throat. “Those books are the three of you darlings. It explains each of you. The very heart of you.” Q didn’t look up. “I know. What am I to do with that?” She patted his shoulder as Mars stepped down from the back of the couch into his lap.
Alec and James were on the couch, wine glasses in hand. They leaned against each other comfortably. Alec was wearing fuzzy duck pyjamas, a gag gift from James last birthday. He unironically loved them and wore them constantly. James was wearing basic black pyjamas. “Always classy, even in sleep eh Jamesy?” “I get hot with your duck clad legs wrapped around mine.” “So, sleep without a vest.” “You just want an excuse to grope me.” “Like I need one.” James pet Alec’s hair. “It is shiny.” Alec let out a happy sigh. “Thank you for finally admitting it.” James snorted. “Your ego doesn’t need any more help. They call me the peacock.” Alec sniffed. “I’m more subtle about it. Can’t have them thinking both of us are that vain.” “You have more serums." "Your moisturizer collection is twice the size of my serum collection." “Touché.” Alec set down his wine glass. “I’ll show you touché.” He launched a tickle attack on James. James put down his wine glass and returned fire. Five minutes later they were a giggling puddle on the couch. Alec kissed James softly. “What a lovely day.” James wrapped his arms around Alec. “He’s opening up to us. Building this slowly was the right idea.” Alec snorted. “He’s too cautious to think we had any intentions beyond a quick shag.” James sighed. “True. We had to prove we want him for more than fun.” Alec nodded. “He’s brilliant. The technology he creates. Those patents are worth billions. And he chose to work in government. He values lives above all else.” “Fundamental difference between us there. Never thought my view on life would be challenged after snorting lager out my nose in a pub.” Alec snickered softly. James bopped him gently on the head. “Hush you.” “We think in terms of giving. We’re prepared to give all. He saves all.” “Worth living for.” They cuddled close, holding each other in silence.
Monday morning, MI6 was already humming at 0800. Q was on his platform, looking at his branch. A new batch of potential recruits for the 00 program were starting that morning. Alec and James flanked his platform, exuding menace from every pore. R and the minions looked on excitedly. This should be good. Q spoke to the crowd using the same voice he used on coms directing his agents. Authoritative and calm as could be. “You’re here to be evaluated for the 00 program. I am Q, the quartermaster. These are agents 006 and 007.” The recruits murmured to each other. Everyone knows the stories of those two. “They will be running your drills. I will monitor your scores and behavior.” A few agents nudged each other with elbows and made snide comments. One whispered, “A boffin. In charge of 00s.” Q snapped, “Robbins. Here. Now.” Robbins stepped up to Q’s platform. “Care to say that to my face?” Robbins cleared his throat. “How can a boffin be in charge of 00s?” Q looked down into his eyes. “I am your brain on a mission. I get you the intelligence. I build your tools. I am the voice in your ear while you work. I open doors, I incapacitate henchmen, and most importantly, I bring you home." He leaned in closer to Robbins. "I bring you back, one way or the other. That is why a boffin is in charge Robbins. I will use every tool and brain cell at my disposal to keep you intact.” James and Alec stood straighter if possible. They were proud to work for Q, with Q. He was everything MI6 should be. Every agent in his care was truly lucky. Robbins waffled. “But... you’re a boffin,” as if that explained anything. Q handed his tablet to James without looking. He stepped down off his platform. “And you are a misogynist who hasn’t gone to Belmarsh because every one of your victims was too afraid to testify.” The minions froze. James and Alec tensed, ready to pounce. R dialed security. The recruits froze in terror. Robbins froze then took a swing at Q. Q ducked and slammed his fist into Robbins’ solar plexus, followed up by a swift kick to the side of his knee. Robbins collapsed groaning. Q's tone and delivery didn't change a whit. “You attacked a superior officer. You are remanded to the tender mercies of the tribunals. I have every statement made by each victim. You’ll never see the sun again.” Two members of security hauled Robbins away, like the refuse he was. Q scanned the recruits. They were practically quivering in fear. “Does anyone else want to question why a boffin is in charge of the most dangerous people in this country?” The recruits furiously shook their heads. The minions stood straight with pride. Their Overlord was the baddest bitch to exist. Alec did his damndest not to swoon. His heart was in his eyes. James stared at Q like a hungry wolf. He said quietly, “Perfect.” “I should hope so 007. Now, recruits, fall in.” Q took his tablet back and watched everyone scramble from his platform.