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He is in the TARDIS, standing on the console platform. Regeneration energy courses through is body, like tiny tongues of flames ready to rewrite every cell in his being. He can still hear the Ood singing outside the TARDIS, it is a beautiful melody and in that moment he realizes that he doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to to change, to become someone new.
But it is too late, the process has started. And he has said his goodbyes, the last to his Rose, his beautiful Rose even before she had met him.
There is a moment where everything is quiet, where he can feel every molecule of his body bursting to erupt. His body is screaming at him, never before has he held back a regeneration this long and he says sorry to the next him who will surely have to clean up the mess he will make.
His chest heaves, counting the heartbeats left, steeling himself against the coming change. “I don’t want to go.” he whispers, tears in his eyes as the yellow regeneration light engulfs his being.
He is on fire. It burns, burns him so much that he want it to end. To stop. He doesn’t care if he dies. Mentally he screams her name over and over again, chanting it like a mantra, “Rose. Rose. ROSE!”
***
His eyes fly open and he is in his bedroom. The Meta-Doctor runs a hand over his face, chest heaving as he tries to shake the dream from his memory.
“What’s wrong? Are you all right?” Rose asks and he turns to her, sorry that he has woken her too. He gathers her into his arms, kissing her forehead before wrapping himself around her. She rubs his back, trying to sooth him.
“Yeah… Just a bad dream.” he fights back the tears that try to overwhelm him, “It’s over now.”
But he knows it’s not just a bad dream. Somewhere, across the universes, the Doctor is regenerating, and he is alone and he is afraid.