Chapter Text
[Montreal Metros' Better Half]
Jackie: Girls, you will never guess what I just found out!!!
Talia: What?
Julesss: It's not another weird Hayden fact is it?
Marcy: Omg what?
Talia: This could be anything to you found out birds lay eggs to the world is ending in three hours.
Camisole: What T said!!!
Jackie: Lol, no! Shane has a girfriend! Her name's Lily!
Marcy: WHAT?????
Amie: Please for the love of all things green tell me you have her number.
Talia: PLEASE QUEEN JACKIE!!!
Gigi: I spat out my cocktail.. wdym SHANE HOLLANDER has a girlfriend.
Jackie: I got Hayden to get Lily's number so time for Operation Befriend Shane's Girlfriend.
Amie: That shit is too damn long.
[Marcy and 6 others reacted with a 👆emoji]
Jackie: Whatever. I'm gonna text her and try to get her here now!!!
[Private message between Lily R. and +1 438 783 8835]
Unknown number: Hey, is this Lily?
Lily: maybe. who are you?
Unknown number: Oh, sorry! I'm Jackie Pike, Hayden's wife. I saw Shane texting you.. so would you like to join the Montreal WAGs chat?? :)
Lily: what is a wag?
Lily: and how did u get the number?
[Contact Saved: Better Pike]
Better Pike: WAG stands for wives and girlfriends!! You qualify!
Better Pike: Shane totally gave it to me.
Lily: haha u stole my numnber dont worry wont talk
Better Pike: You mean won't tell?
Lily: oh yes, sorry. first language isn't english
Better Pike: Oh? Can I ask what it is if that's okay? :)
Lily: russian. what is :)
Better Pike: Lily, turn your phone to the side. It's a smiley face!
Lily: oh cool!
Better Pike: Also Koch's girlfriend's first language is Russian too. She can help you. Pleaseeee join! It's so fun and you seem so cool!! (I snooped through your messages.. sorry!)
Lily: ok fine I can join. and hope u like the messages u see. i worked hard on them.
Better Pike: OMG YES!!!!
Better Pike: Join here!!!
Better Pike: https://joinwagschatmtl.ca
[Montreal Metros' Better Half]
[Jackie added +7 495 737-73-24 to the chat]
Jackie: Welcome Lily to the chat guys!
Talia: Wow Moscow number! Ты из России?
[Saved ' 418 727 8371' as russian wag]
Lily: ye msociw born n raised
Lily: sorry about that typing, dogsitting n dog keeps jump on me
Lily: i get it but gp away
Lily: flaterd but go away :(
Marcy: OMG WHAT BREED I LOVE DOGS GJDUG
Lily: corgi
Marcy: OMG SEND PICS AHFIAGFCY I LOVE CORGIS
Lily: ok miss person i dont know
Lily: [File Attached: a simple photo of the corgi sat watching tv]
Lily: i get parents do this.
Marcy: Omg wait I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Drapeau's wife, Marcy!
[Saved Contact: better drapeau]
Lily: drapeau can do better in goal why he let so many in???
Jackie: Ofc Shane's girl's a hockey fan
Marcy: I'd be shocked if she wasn't tbf
Camisole: yh
Lily: what is yh? and yes i love hockey. like it more than shane. haha.
Talia: LOL
Jackie: 😭
Marcy: girl ur so funny i laughed so loud i woke my baby up
Jackie: Oh god. I have all the same with Ruby and Jade. Like seriously just sleep.
Lily: put red light on or box fan always worked for my племянница.
[5 minutes later!!]
Marcy: Holy shit Lily you're a baby whisperer. Also, I put that word through google translate and it says that means niece?
Lily: yes that what i mean.
Lily: couldn't spell it lol
Lily: and i might be this baby whisperer (asked shane what it mean now he's asking where i am lol) becuse i always watched and babysit my niece and red lights always work!
Jackie: The fact that SHANE felt the need to ask where you were after you asked makes me feel like you're wilddd.
Talia: Lily becuse is spelt because! Btw! I hate silent letters in this language!
Lily: omfg. (shane taught me this one!)
Lily: also whos ur hab? btw i have u saved as russian wag lol.
Marcy: SHANE taught you 'omfg'??? The closest thing to swearing I've heard him say is 'fudger'.
Jackie: He's even cleaner around the twins. He doesn't even say fudge.
Talia: I'm Natalia or just Talia, lol, I'm Koch's girlfriend. Also, Lily isn't a Russian name, is it fake?
[Saved Contact: Talia (Koch's gf)]
Lily: i beg him to teach me the littler words for the big ones like wtf and omfg :)
Lily: and yes it is fake. i am famus. and hot ;).
Talia: famous* and seriously??
Talia: also the word for 'littler words for the big ones' is abbreviation queen
Jackie: Famous??? Where did you two meet?
Marcy: I bet Lily is drop dead gorgeous.
Talia: All Russians are. ;)
Marcy: Not all.
Amie: Fucking R*zanov.
Lily: disagree. rozanov is sexy.
Lily: wanna lick him
Lily: also what is the * for?
Marcy: It's a thing people do online to censor things. Like we don't like Rozanov so we do that!
Marcy: Also, ignoring ur R*zanov glaze. METROS FOREVER!!!
Amie: What Marcy said. Comeau says R*zanov's chirps are so AIMED.
Katie: JJ says the same! But, I can't deny he's hot.
Lily: not defending comeau, he knock out 3 of rozanov's teeth!
Amie: OH. In that case, ILYA ROZANOV IS SEXY.
Julesss: I've been preaching this for years!
Jackie: Jules is our resident Bostonian.
Lily: [Location Shared:Millennium Tower, Boston, Massachusetts, United States - Bing Maps]
Julesss: OMG LILY U LIVE IN BOSTON???
Jackie: Omg! I didn't realise that was why Hayd calls u Boston Lily. Pregnancy brain still hasn't worn off! 😂
Marcy: Now we know why u glaze R*zanov
Katie: Don't tell me you support B*st*n
Gigi: Pls Queen u seem so cool
Mali: omfg another bostonian
Lily: i'm sorry! i live here in boston and i support my home team…..
Marcy: NO
Katie: Aw shit
Marcy: I guess I can forgive you of your sins because of that amazing advice earlier… sighh
Lily: i was born russian orthodox i commit sins everyday with my thoughts
Lily: shane hollander butt 4k ohhhmy god
Katie: omg i forgive u ur so funny
Camisole: LMAO
Jackie: Hayd read that over my shoulder and he fell over giggling
Lily: what can i say it a nice butt
Lily: any1 kno why he won't text me baaack i'm going thru butt withdraaawal
Jackie: LMAO. Hayd said he's with his parents today so…
Marcy: Lily I love u can we kiss
Lily: Yes. am so much better than drapeau
Lily: wait kiss?
Marcy: YH!! I'm bi! :D
Lily: oh!
Marcy: wait wdym oh r u homophobic
Katie: She did just say she was Russian orthodox
Julesss: Oh shit yea she did
Juless: Lily r u homophobic??
Mali: y isnt she replying now??
[30 Minutes Later]
Lily: sorry was crying forgot it was ok in canada + america
Lily: i'm bi 2.
Lily: my bsf is also ex gf svetlana lol
Marcy: OH my god.
Marcy: I'm so sorry for asking if you're homophobic!
Jackie: Also, girls, Shane wouldn't go with a homophobe! He's too sweet
Jackie: And Lily you're a bi queen we love and support you!
Mali: omg yay bi queen
[Mali changed Lily's name to bi queen]
bi queen: omg
bi queen: thank u guys sp sweet crying agsin
Marcy: Oh girl, no problem! We love everyone here!
bi queen: yiyifgdfjtkiukfdhol