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it's a little bit like self harm, bringing himself here in order to avoid his reality while simultaneously calling back to it. he wants it back, his life before all of this. he wants late night dinners again, yudai sitting sweetly at the dining table while fuma cooks away. vodka pasta, duck liver, spinach and feta ravioli, more vodka pasta. fuck, they ate so much pasta, it almost makes him smile. almost.
fuma tries to navigate a world where yudai and him are no longer together, not yet out of love. he keeps doing things in threes, wishing he was someone else so that none of this would've ever happened. yudai is everywhere, because of course he is—and then they run into each other on a weekday, two weeks after and the tape doesn't rewind, but it does start over.