Work Text:
apocalypseArisen [AA] opened memo on board CR33P3R!!!
AA: awhh man :(
AA: just died! x_x
TA: f
AG: F!!!!!!!!
GC: F
GC: W41T L1K3 1N M1N3CR4FT OR 1N R34L L1F3
AA: >u0
TA: what the fuck wa2 that emotiicon.
GC: SOLLUX YOUR M4T3SPR1T M1GHT'V3 JUST D13D 1RL 1S TH4T R34LLY WH4T YOU'R3 GONN4 WORRY 4BOUT R1GHT NOW
TA: my mate2priit ii2 fiine tz chiill.
TA: riight aa.
AA: perhaps :D
TA: 2ee.
TA: and iif 2he2 not then that mean2 ii have a cool gho2t mate2priit now.
GC: 4W W41T SH1T TH4T 1S COOL
GC: NOW 1 W1SH MY M4T3SPR1T W4S 4 GHOST >:[
AG: Was that a threat????????
GC: M4YB3
AG: >::::0
AG: MAN, what IS it with you guys and these noncommittal responses nowadays?
AG: """"""""Perhaps"""""""" """"""""May8e"""""""" 8itch I'm gonna kill you.
TA: and god forbiid vk ever kiill2 anyone.
AG: Oh, CAN it, Captor!!!!!!!!
AG: You can't even SAY the word "kills."
TA: holy 2hiit guy2 a lii2p joke no one ha2 EVER made one of tho2e before.
TA: frankly iim floored. liike 2traiight up pla2tered two thii2 carpet riight now. grabbiing at iit and 2hiit. tryiing two fiind an anchor a2 ii am 2wept away by how truly WRECKED ii currently am iin the aftermath of that burn.
TA: gonna fuck up my maniicure wiith how hard iim gra2piing at thii2 floor. 2o many blue and red chiip2 around here that iit2 lookiing two be a poker game.
TA: full hou2e fucker giive me the money. yeah that2 an ace hiidden up my 2weet liimiited ediitiion e2port2 hoodiie 2leeve what about iit. call the drone2 biitch iill cull them.
TA: iim clawiing at thii2 2hiit 2o bad that iif iit were a troll theyd be liike GODDAMN quiit comiing on 2o fuckiing piitch iim blu2hiing.
TA: iid be liike damn 2orry iim ju2t reeliing from thii2 blueglobed biitch draggiing me wiithiin an iinch of my dumb biifurcated liife.
TA: then hypothetiical floor troll would be like ohhhh 2hiiiit well iif that ii2nt ju2t a goddamn trave2ty riight there hey hold up are you comiing on fuckiing PALE twoward2 me now what the fuck ii2 up you goddamn gliitchy twool.
TA: iid be liike fuck ii dont know you thiink a guy who cant keep hii2 goddamn neural pathway2 uncro22ed for two fuckiing 2econd2 would be able two fiigure out hii2 goddamn quadrant2 liike NO can fuckiing do 2o fuckiing 2orry about that.
TA: iit really ii2 an ii22ue liike ii thiink ii need two do 2ome 2eriiou2 iintro2pectiion or whatever maybe actually take kk up on hii2 bull2hiit romance analy2e2 he2 offered waiit actually no thatd be the wor2t fuckiing thing two ever happen ii dont know why ii even entertaiined that thought for like even a 2econd there but hey it2 eiither that or 2tart que2tiioniing the whole fuckiing quadrant 2y2tem and all it2 2ociiologiical and p2ychologiical iimpliicatiion2 and liike good gog that would be exhau2tiing on liiterally all po22iible level2 wouldnt iit.
TA: what the fuck am ii talkiing about.
AG: Wow.
AG: That was... kind of a mess?
AG: If we’re 8eing honest here, you lost me 8ack at the 8eginning. I tuned out the min8 you started making shitty ocean puns!
AG: Like, ahahahaha, NOOOOOOOO thanks! I JUST hung out with Eridan yesterday and I do NOT need more of THAT. ::::)
TA: ew ew what the fuck.
TA: dont compare me two that pathetiic piiece of 2hiit dont even refer two u2 iin the 2ame 2entence.
TA: god gro22 ii cant beliieve you brought hiim up.
AG: Wowwwwwwww, Captor, w8 to hit on some8ody else's kismesis, huh????????
TA: ok wow what the fuck.
TA: why would you even 2ay that. iim dii2gu2ted.
TA: iim 2tandiing up and walkiing away from my hu2ktop two go throw up a2 we 2peak.
TA: iit2 happeniing ii am hackiing up my lung2 riight now ii am 2o 2iickened you would ever iimply ii would want two be anywhere near the quadrant2 belongiing two that 2ad 2ack of viiolet viirgiiniity.
AG: Wellllllll, you’re REALLY not doing a good jo8 of m8king your case. ::::)
AG: And how would you even 8e a8le to type while “hackiing up your lung2”?
TA: dont thiink about iit two hard 2erk.
GC: H3Y WHY 4R3 YOU CHUMPFUCK3RS JUST ST4ND1NG 4ROUND OV3R TH3R3
GC: YOU R33K OF BLU3B3RRY HON3Y 4ND D1SGUST
GC: 4R4D14 4ND 1 H4V3 B33N H4RD 4T WORK M1N1NG TH3 SH1T OUT OF TH1S SH4FT 4ND Y3T R4D1O S1L3NC3 FROM TH3 TWO TRU3 “3P1C G4M3RS” 4ROUND H3R3
GC: COUGH COUGH S3LF-D3SCR1B3D COUGH COUGH
GC: L1K3 WH4T W3R3 YOU GUYS 3V3N T4LK1NG 4BOUT
GC: 4ND WHY DO3S 1T T4ST3 L1K3 SOUR L3MON SOL1LOQU13S WH3N 1 SCROLL UP
TA: tz dont read that.
GC: OH? WHY?
GC: D1D YOU PROF3SS YOUR UNDY1NG H4TR3D FOR VR1SK4? >:]
TA: what ii2 iit wiith you freak2 and my fuckiing 2pade2 goddamn.
TA: no tz iit wa2nt monumental you ju2t really dont have two read iit all iit2 kiind of fuckiing non2en2iical.
TA: okay maybe read liike the fiir2t part ii thought that part wa2 good but then ii get kiinda deraiiled and frankly none of u2 need two worry about that liike ii dont know why were even talkiing about iit at all.
GC: TOO L4T3
GC: 1 4M F34ST1NG MYS3LF ON TH1S SW33TLY 4C1D1C SP13L 4S W3 SP34K
TA: tz cmon.
GC: SHUT YOUR SNOUT SOLLUX 1M L1CK1NG H3R3
TA: tz.
TA: tz.
TA: tz.
TA: okay fuck you two iim goiing two go miine.
GC: OK4Y Y34H TH1S 1S 4 M3SS
GC: SOLLUX 4R3 YOU GOOD
TA: iim not even here anymore bye.
AA: c0me j0in me in the mines s0llux! :D
AA: i pr0mise we w0n’t get buried under gravel >u0
TA: agaiin with the emotiicon.
AA: d0n’t act like my charming rapscalli0n winks d0n’t w0rk 0n y0u :D
AA: just get 0VER here, silly!
TA: on my way iin double tiime. <3
GC: YUUUUUUUUUUUCK
GC: YUCKYUCKYUCK BL3HHHHH
GC: HOP 1N 4 PR1V4T3 CH4NN3L 1F YOU'R3 GO1NG TO FLOOD TH3 M41N CH4T W1TH TH1S K1ND OF SH4M3L3SS CH3RRY-B3RRY COUGH SYRUP FLUSH3D FL1RT1NG
GC: L1K3 S3R1OUSLY FLUSH 1T DOWN 4 BUCK3T OR 4 LO4D G4P3R JUST NOT MY NOT1FS
GC: UGH
GC: 4ND NOW YOU'R3 NOT 3V3N R3SPOND1NG
GC: I H4V3 TO GO M4K3 OUT W1TH *MY* M4T3SPR1T TO G3T TH3 T4ST3 OF YOU TWO LOV3B34STS OUT OF MY MOUTH
GC: VR1SK4 WH3R3 4R3 YOU
AG: Come and find me, 8a8y!
AG: I promise I’ll m8ke it worth your while ;;;;)
GC: 1 DOUBT TH4T L1T3R4LLY 4NY OF TH1S 1S WORTH MY WH1L3
GC: 4ND Y3T
GC: 1 C4N'T 1M4G1NE SP3ND1NG MY T1M3 4NY OTH3R W4Y
GC: <3
AG: <3!!!!!!!!
TA: eww.
TA: get a room.
AG: Oh, NOW he speaks!
AG: Just an itsy-8itsy 8it of a HYPOCR8, aren’t you, Captor?
TA: vk let2 be fuckiing hone2t for once iin our 2orry liive2.
TA: we all fuckiing 2uck.
TA: and yet were here.
TA: whatever 2iick 2hiit that 2ay2 about u2 be damned double tiime2.
TA: we really do 2eem two liike each other2 company.
AG: Huh.
AG: You know what, Captor?
AG: For once, I think you might 8e onto something.
AG: Wow. Go figure. 8roken clocks really are right twice a day!
TA: fliippiing you off riight now btw.
AG: Oh, I’m sure. With 8oth hands, I imagine?
TA: fuck off.
AA: he’s smiling :D
TA: how could you po22iibly know that over a text-ba2ed mediium.
AA: because i kn0w Y0U, silly!
TA: oh
TA: ok. whatever.
GC: F4K3ST 1DG4F3R
TA: liike you would know.
GC: I R34LLY DO 4CTU4LLY
TA: fuck all of YOU, actually.
TA: iive never liiked a 2iingle one of you iin my entiire liife.
GC: OH, 1'M SUR3 >:]
GC: SM3LL YOU SOON SOURB3RRY BOY
TA: not iif ii 2ee you fiir2t, freak.