Chapter Text
Vinsmoke Niji was 14 years old when he started to develop emotions and realize that his genetic modifications were fading.
The overall experience of gaining emotions after spending his entire life without them was not a very fun one to say the least. Emotions sucked, he had no idea how people could stand them. Sure there were a few good ones, Joy, Hope, excitement, ECT— But were the bad ones really necessary? Anxiety, Fear, regret, and what was that other one? The one that made his throat close up and his stomach twist into knots every time he thought about all the fucked up things he did while he still was an emotionless monster? What did Reiju call it again? Ah, right.
Guilt.
He definitely hated that one, more so than the others. Most likely because he felt it constantly— and it hurt like hell. It made him want to curl into a ball and rip his insides out. He asked Reiju once how he could make the damned feeling go away. She said that in his case, he probably couldn't. Which in his opinion was extremely messed up.
Physical pain sucked too. He grew to despise it more and more as the months passed and the iron skin that had always protected him started to turn soft. The first time he felt pain was from a cut. He was outside in the courtyard training his sword fighting with Reiju (Thank god it was Reiju and not one of the others.) Not expecting it to affect him she had slashed at his forearm cutting a decently deep gash into it. He had not expected the cut to start gushing blood, and definitely not the instant sharp, burning sensation that came with it. The shock hit him so hard he dropped to his knees, clutching his forearm in a frantic attempt to stop the red liquid running down his arm. Reiju clasped her hand over his mouth just in time to stop the shriek of pain that had threatened to escape. His eyes burned as tears of pain began to stream down his face.
After that Reiju hurriedly took him to her room, and while bandaging the wound, spent the next hour explaining the concept of pain to her brother. There was no way he was ever going to get used to it.
After that incident he started spending significantly more time with Reiju than he did with his brothers, mostly because he was afraid that they would find out about his newly developed feelings and also because Reiju was still teaching him how to hide them the way she had learned to, she had also stated he was horrible at containing his emotions and should try and avoid the others as much as possible.
But the emotions were too much for him, he had spent a year hiding them from the rest of his family in fear of what would happen if they found out. Sometimes, on really bad days when the guilt became too much for him, Niji seriously considered outright telling Judge he had emotions just so he could fix him.
But he knew that wasn't an option. If you have, or gain emotions after birth, taking them away again was impossible. If it were possible then Reiju would have had hers completely taken away years ago instead of just having them suppressed.
And Sanji wouldn't be dead.
So instead, he kept to himself, coming up with excuses to avoid hanging out with his brothers so often that they eventually stopped asking him. Avoiding Judge as much as humanly possible (Humanly? Was he allowed to say that now?) and re-dyeing his hair blue every time golden blond roots started to peek out from his scalp.
Over the passing months the constant feeling of guilt grew bigger and bigger to the point that he would show up at Reiju's bedroom door in the middle of the night, eyes red and puffy and his cheeks stained with tears. Nightmares. He fucking hated nightmares. Reliving memories he wanted to forget over and over again, a never ending cycle of torment.
-
Big blue tear filled eye that radiated terror and dread looking up at him through an iron mask that encased his head from the cold concrete floor of the dungeon. His own cruel laughter rang out as sparks of electricity traveled down Niji's leg, dug into the shoulder of the terrified child beneath him.
-
This was a recurring dream he had, only once a week if he was fortunate. Sometimes he would even be lucky enough to wake up before the scream started. Once he woke up he would not be able to fall asleep again. Sometimes deciding to go annoy his older sister for the rest of the night. If it really did annoy her she didn't show it. He never told her what the recurring dream that kept him up at night was about, he seriously doubted Reiju would want to remember it anyway.
Reiju knew it would not be long before Niji got caught. Judge was already growing frustrated with him, sending him to the lab to be 'adjusted' more often than usual. It wouldn't be long before their father ordered him to do something that his newly developed conscience would not physically allow. The last thing she wanted was to see another one of her brothers suffer the way Sanji had. Reiju knew she was just as responsible for his death as the others were, and she would live with that guilt and shame for the rest of her life.
Reiju had failed her mother once, she was not going to make the same mistake twice. Therefore, she planned.
All four of the Vinsmoke Children left on a mission on the Grandline to assist an army in a war.
. . . Only three of them returned.
"Niji wont be coming back father, I watched him fall to a Devil Fruit user" Reiju coldly reported to Judge.
"He got soft, if he can't even survive in a battlefield, then he has no place here. I will not waste my resources on failures"
Vinsmoke Niji was 15 years old when he fled the kingdom of Germa 66 in the midst of a war, on a random fishing boat he stole from the shore. A Log Pose his sister had given him strapped on his wrist and a satchel slung over his shoulder. He turned back to his older sister one final time, offering a deep bow of gratitude, before turning away, unfurling the sails, and setting out into the vast blue ocean. Leaving behind his legacy as the 2nd prince of the Germa kingdom, the smell of burning wood, gunpowder, sounds of explosions and the screams of the people of the island as they were slaughtered mercilessly by the Germa clones.