Archive of Our Own

They had done it.

Not that if mattered in the end.

He didn't know who survived and who didn't. He might never know if the broken ship he and the blue skinned cyborg woman Nebula were on didn't make it to Earth.

And it might not. It probably wouldn't.

Titan was a long long way from Earth, even if it was in the same solar system.

Oxygen was running thin, too thin. Food had run out. Nebula had ensured he ate most of it, acting like she didn't know that he knew. Water finally ran out.

They'd been trapped on the ship, the Milano she had called it, for 3 months. He was thin, too thin. Fighting off infection. They'd used what little the ship had left in first aid supplies - the man she called Quill , the idiot who somehow got from Earth to space - had forgotten to restock it again.

He had just finished what he knew would end up being his final recording for Pepper.

If she lived.

If the ship ever made it to Earth with his dead body on it.

He climbed up from the floor of the cockpit and maneuvered himself into one of the seats. Tony stared out at the stars as they drifted towards Earth. In any other circumstance this would have been beautiful. This would have been breathtaking. But these were his circumstances.

There was no more fuel. The engines were busted beyond repair. And oh they had both tried, Nebula walking him through things he'd never seen before. But now... now he settled in, knowing without a doubt that he might not wake up the next day, and if he did, he wouldn't last into the one after.

They were doomed to die here, alone.

He sighed, closing his eyes. The thin oxygen in the ship running lower and lower by the moment. Almost run out.

He thought about what he'd learned after Afghanistan. How when deprived of oxygen the body begins to shut down. He mentally mapped out what would go first, then what follows.

He held onto the last thing he saw, the stars themselves and the vastness between them, as he relaxed into the darkness.

Only...

There was a light.

Bright and sudden and blinding and he opened his eyes to find a woman.

Outside.

Floating in space.

Long hair floating like a golden, holy halo.

And she was tapping on the glass.

o0o

When the strange space woman touched down on Earth, gently as she could setting the ship down on the grounds of the compound, Nebula opened the back hatch using a manual release that didn't want to give right away. There just wasn't enough juice left in the damn ship to open it with the buttons.

Natasha, Rhodey, and Bruce had come out, presumably having heard their approach, to greet them in disbelief.

Natasha broke from the trio, running forward as Nebula helped him down the ramp. Tony leaned heavily on the blue skinned woman who had been his only companion since the fubar on Titan.

She was hesitant to let him go when Natasha took up his other arm, helping take his weight.

Tony looked back at her. "It's alright," he said. "It's okay."

Nebula hung back, just a little, as Natasha helped him down the rest of the way to the ground.

Tony looked at her, tears in his eyes. "I lost the kid," he said. "I lost Peter..."

"We all lost, Tony," Natasha said quietly. "We all lost."

Rhodes rushed forward as fast as his leg braces would allow, pulling Tony away from Natasha and into a hug, tears of relief in his own eyes.

"Tones..." he whispered, holding his best friend tightly. "Oh God, Tones..."

So preoccupied with Tony, the others didn't notice the creature that raced past, towards the ship and up the ramp to sit next to Nebula sadly. He reached over to put a hand on her knee, offering his quiet condolences.

Nebula looked down at Rocket's hand and lifted her own, turning it over so they could hold each other's hand quietly, both grieving their own losses to Thanos' madness.

o0o

Tony was home two days before he saw him. He was still in medical, and would be for quite a while. The man was riding around in an electric wheelchair.

An eye patch. One arm. One leg.

The chair was parked in Tony's room.

The man quietly reading from a StarkPad.

"You're awake," was all he said. "I'll go get Colonel Rhodes."

And then the chair moved backwards, turned around, and was gone.

They both knew he didn't need to physically go get the colonel. FRIDAY, the AI built into the compound, could do that more efficiently.

But Tony didn't think it mattered much, really, as he closed his eyes and relaxed back into the too soft medical bed.

o0o

The others had gone. Some foolhardy idea to track down Thanos and bring him to justice. Meaning death. Certainly meaning death.

Tony hadn't been able to even think about putting on the armor again. Not that it had done any good on Titan.

The arc rector for the nanotech suit sat on the table beside the bed. Never far, but never to be used again.

"Boss," FRIDAY said. "Sgt. Barnes asks if you would welcome a visitor."

"Not him."

FRIDAY was silent. Then, she said "Sgt. Barnes was not asking for himself."

"Then who? Who else do I have left!" he shouted angrily, throwing the paper cup of water on the tray table that stood beside his bed.

"Happy Hogan, Boss."

Tony stared at the wall where his water cup had slammed into it and splattered water all over the place.

He watched the droplets trail down the paint.

"Send him in and... thank Barnes for asking first."

o0o

Tony silently watched the news.

Watched as the world was still reeling from what the so-called heroes were calling The Snap.

Planet Earth called it The Decimation.

Tony thought it was a stupid name.

But he agreed it was better than The Snap.

Or The Snappening.

Nebula had come straight to him when they returned from space. She sat down quietly beside him, staring at the television as the news coverage played on.

He didn't ask how it went.

She didn't offer.

They simply sat in one another's company.

And it was enough.

o0o

Tony deleted his recordings for Pepper five months after Titan. Two months after he'd recorded the last one before knowing if she had survived or not.

He'd made one for Steve, too.

He deleted it, as well.

o0o

Barnes came to him six months after Titan. Three months after his return to Earth.

Tony was in the lab. Not really doing anything. Just... there. Tinkering on nothing of importance. It got him out of his head and into something real. He hadn't been sleeping because of the nightmares. He hadn't been able to talk to anyone much because "I fucking told you so" was on the tip of his tongue depending on who he was speaking to.

"I thought I locked that door."

FRIDAY spoke up. "You didn't."

"Then why didn't you?"

"You didn't tell me to, Boss," she replied.

Tony growled, actually growled and looked up to see Barnes. There was a rolling cart in front of him, one foot steady on the bottom as he had used his one hand to maneuver his chair. "Nebula didn't want to bother you with this," he said simply.

Tony looked at what was on the cart. He recognized some of the weaponry from the Milano.

"So why are you?"

"FRIDAY thinks you need a distraction. I'll... leave this over here," he said, gesturing towards a table that wasn't cluttered already. Carefully, he leaned forward in his chair to adjust the cart, then maneuvered his chair again to get behind it and push it forward with his foot.

Tony watched him quietly. The frustration evident by the furrow of his brow and the press of his mouth into a thin line. But he managed to get the cart where it needed to go.

"Stark," Barnes said with a nod before finally turning his chair and leaving the man to it. Tony waited until he was certain the man was gone before moving over to inspect what he'd brought him.

o0o

It was two weeks before Tony saw Barnes again.

He found him after a meeting with Natasha where she was basically running a mission control for what was left of the heroes.

The world was a mess, their mess, and Natasha was doing the best she could to try to clean it up.

Tony still carried the arc reactor for the nano suit with him. But he never wore it. It stayed in a pocket, hidden from his own sight. He couldn't stand to look at it, the symbol of his failure.

The reminder that he wasn't good enough. Wasn't fast enough.

He hadn't gone looking for Barnes, actually. Not consciously. But he didn't bail the moment he found him either.

"I'm sorry," Tony said without thinking.

"Nothin to be sorry for," Barnes said, turning his head so he could see him with his one good eye.

"I meant about... Steve. And Siberia." Tony put his hands in his pockets, one hand wrapping around the arc reactor he found there. It grounded him, a little, despite the failure it now represented.

The two men remained silent after that, turning their attention to the rain falling just beyond the glass doors. Barnes sat, fleshy fingers twitching a little as lightning arced across the sky in the distance over the trees.

"I used to lay back in my hut in Wakanda and wait for the rainy days," he said quietly. "I knew nobody would come out to see me those days. I'd be left alone."

"I can go, if you want-"

"You're fine Stark... You're quiet. Steve... Steve never was."

"I could believe that. Sometimes I thought he might like the sound of his own voice more than I do."

Barnes smiled a half-smile then. "He always wanted me to be the guy I was. Couldn't accept that I wasn't that boy from Brooklyn anymore. War changes you. Even if... even if HYDRA never got hold of me... Even if I'd somehow made it home after the war, I couldn't be that guy anymore."

Tony listened. He said nothing. But he did understand, in his own way, what Barnes was saying. He was never the same after Afghanistan. It changed him in a way he could never put his finger on. Never could find the words to say.

But here was someone that got it. He never expected to have something in common with his mother's killer.

Tony frowned at the thought.

Good thing Barnes couldn't see him from that side.

"If you need anything... I'm usually in the workshop."

"I know," Barnes said.

Tony nodded towards him, then turned and left him to watch the rain in peace.

o0o

Nebula came to have one of her limbs serviced after she came back with Rocket and Rhodey from a mission Natasha sent them on.

"You should make him a new leg," Nebula said. "I'm told he was a fighter."

It wasn't the first time Tony thought about it.

It wouldn't be the last.

There was already a file on his private server with schematics and blueprints for a new arm. And a new leg.

He just wasn't sure it would be welcomed.

"I'll think about it," he said as he tweaked something in her arm, then checked the wiring. "I'm glad you're not trying to murder me for tinkering with your limbs like last time."

"Last time we were in space and I did not know you knew what you were doing," she said simply.

"I'll think about it," he said again, already getting some ideas based on what he saw in Nebula's arm.

o0o

"Wanda was still HYDRA," Barnes said one day when Tony had come across him. The compound was big, and even with his chair, the man was still good at hiding himself away.

"What?"

"Her little tricks," he said. "She tried them on me. But my brain... it was still pretty fried. Didn't fully take."

Barnes turned his head to look at him. "It wasn't all Steve being a jackass. Not that it was all her either. But I'd reckon she had a part to play given how much she hated you. And it only got worse in Wakanda."

"You're saying Wanda mind controlled them? Shit Clint wasn't even here. He retired after Sokovia."

Barnes shrugged. "She tried it on me. It's why I moved into a hut outside the city. Outside her influence. It also got me away from Steve, too. But... She tried to make me hate you, too." He shook his head. "The guilt was too much for her to cut through. I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to. And for what's it's worth... those damn Accords you two were fighting over weren't perfect."

"You read them? When? How?"

"T'Challa showed 'em to me. I wanted to know what had Steve so pissed off at you."

"Well... if he had been paying attention to the news he wouldn't have been blindsided. It was everywhere on the major new stations." Tony eyed the broken soldier for a few long moments before circling back to Wanda. "You think she played her mind tricks on the others in Wakanda, don't you?"

"I know she did. It was like... You were a topic that always brought out the worst in people. That and she was a grown ass woman who pretended to be an innocent child. All the time. Trying to convince Steve any different... More stubborn than a mule." Barnes smiled sadly then, his gaze falling down to his lap. Down to the hand that rested there.

Tony thought it over for a quick moment. It made sense, actually, if she was still HYDRA after all. Her own hatred for Tony was well known by the team. And having joined up right after a very rocky and unstable period of time due to the Ultron situation... yeah... "She was destabilizing the team from within."

"Divide. Conquer," he said. "Oldest in the book and Steve fell right into it. Damsel in distress. With mind powers. Barton and Lang were smart to make the plea deals from the Raft so they got to go home." He shrugged. "My best guess is that it would've happened eventually. The cracks were already there. It's how she slithered in. The Accords were just the match that lit the bonfire. And unfortunately... I was the gasoline that was thrown right on top."

Tony couldn't help but let out an amused huff at that.

Barnes looked at him again, his sad little smile brightening just a little at the sound of Tony's response. "Plus side," Barnes added. "No more Scarlet Bitch. Only cost me an arm and a leg."

Tony really tried not to laugh. But he couldn't help letting out a chuckle. "I could fix that if you want."

"Yeah right," Barnes replied, reaching for the control of his chair.

"No. Really. I've already got a framework for braces when I did them up for Rhodey. Wouldn't be to hard to modify the schematics to a full prosthetic. Do you up a leg, and see how it goes."

"Why?"

"Why not? I need something to do. Something useful that won't cause the end of the universe as we know it."

"You know that wasn't your fault!" Barnes exclaimed, rather emphatically.

"I couldn't stop him getting that damn stone. If I'd been faster-"

"As much as I appreciate Strange giving up the stone to save your life," Barnes said firmly. "He's the dumb ass who gave up the stone, not you."

"How do you even-"

"Nebula told me what happened up there. We ALL lost. None of us were strong enough. Good enough. Fast enough. Bullets bounced off his ass. Thor tried to cleave him in two and still wasn't able to push his damn ax all the way through him. And that thing, Rocket says, was forged in the heart of a damn dyin' star." The more he spoke, the more emphatic he became. "I doubt even that Carol woman would've been able to bring that purple jack ass down."

Tony stared at him, this broken soldier who had far more reason to wallow in pity and self-loathing than he himself did.

"If you're to blame," Barnes said. "Then so the hell am I. So's Rhodes and Natalia and everyone else that survived. You didn't fail, Stark. We ALL failed. This burden ain't yours alone so stop tryin' to hog all the guilt for yourself."

Tony reached up to run a hand through his hair, finding it greasy and wondering, for just a brief moment, when the last time he'd rested was. When the last time he'd eaten or showered was. "Who the hell made you an expert on guilt, Barnes?"

"HYDRA," he said simply, the fire of his impassioned speech fading. "The Russians. You. Take your pick."

"Me?"

Barnes shook his head. "For what it's worth, you had every right to try and kill my ass in Siberia. Honestly if Steve hadn't... I'd've probably let you." Tony's eyes were on him again, a bit wide at the admission. Barnes didn't look away, and held that brown gaze steady with his one good eye. "Thing is, guilt has a way of eating you alive. Making you wish for death instead of the non-stop torture your own mind puts you through. Eventually you have to choose."

"Choose what?"

"Whether you want to give up or keep fighting. After Siberia, I decided to keep fighting. You went easy on us. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Figured there had to be a damn reason I was still breathing."

"And now?" Tony asked.

He shrugged. "I'm still breathing. Might be crippled now but my brain still works. Means I can still be useful. Help plan out missions for those of us that are left. Keep an eye on the Compound when nobody's home. Hell, run administration shit if I have to, so long as FRIDAY helps me out with it."

Tony thought it over quickly. Barnes had a point. "Let me make you a leg. I still have my hands. Might as well make myself useful."

"If you want," Barnes said. "If you're anything like what Steve used to say, you've probably already got some kind of blueprints drawn up before ever talking to me. If not drawn up... you've been thinkin' about it."

Damn if Barnes wasn't right. He'd at least been thinking about it. Hadn't committed himself to making blueprints yet but he'd been looking at the schematics for different leg braces he'd done up for Rhodey and... yeah. He'd been thinking about making Barnes a new leg.

When Tony wandered away, seeking a shower and sleep for at least a little while, he was musing how they went from Wanda being HYDRA to guilt and a new leg for Barnes.

But with a task to do, even something as simple as a prosthetic that could help someone else, he could try to work through his guilt. Starting with the small things. Starting with the ones he COULD do something about.

First a leg...

Then maybe he could work replacing the arm, too.

o0o

Barnes was called to the workshop two weeks later. FRIDAY let him in and was kind enough to open the doors for him. "Thanks doll-face," he said to the nearest camera.

"You're welcome Sarge."

Tony looked up from what he was working on and turned to face his guest. "So... about that leg."

"It's not that important Stark."

"I need to take measurements of what's left of your thigh. I need to be able to get it fit properly."

"You're not attaching it like they did the arm, are you?"

"No. Non-invasive. Mostly. I developed implants for one of my suits years ago. I've since modified them for other uses. Long story short impulses from your brain will help control the leg." Tony pulled up a hologram over the table in front of him. Diagrams and animatics with a crash test dummy in the starring role of the amputee. Visuals of the implants themselves, diagrams where they would be implanted in the thigh, and a prototype schematic of the leg itself shown from multiple angles. Another animatic of the leg sliding onto the dummy's thigh. Another one of the Dummy walking with the prosthetic. "The leg itself will slide over the stump, like a regular prosthetic, so you can take it off whenever you want. The implants will allow you to control it like a normal leg, but it won't allow you to feel pressure, pain, temperature. Nothing like that. I've had some input from Nebula, too, from her own experience being turned into a cyborg."

"Could it be upgraded to be like that?"

"If you wanted. But that would require invasive surgery. Didn't think you'd be up for that. But if you changed your mind, I could design a permanent mount if you wanted."

Barnes watched the animatics. He looked thoughtful as he stared at the holograms. "Let's go with this one. I don't see myself needing anything fight worthy any time soon. If ever. Just something functional will do."

Tony nodded, making notes. "So, about those measurements..."

"How are the implants, well, implanted?"

"No surgery needed. I've got a medical grade sub-dermal injector that I'd be using after mapping your stump for the ideal placements. Won't lie, there's a pinch with each one. And depending on how much control you want or need, there might be more than a few."

"And you'd know this..."

"Because I did it to myself, remember. They let me call the Mark 42 without using any other device."

Barnes nodded and rubbed his chin, thinking further. "Alright. Warm up your hands first. Drives me nuts when people have to touch the damn thing with cold hands."

o0o

They made use of the rehabilitation equipment that had originally been brought to the compound for Rhodes.

The leg wasn't perfect right off the start, but with each attempt to use it, the work became more refined. More streamlined.

Until finally there was something Barnes could stand on that didn't hurt too badly. His own weight, when he wasn't careful to put most of it on his right side, would press down into the cavity of the prosthetic, and make his stump ache. But it was progress. Extra padding was added to make it more comfortable for Barnes to wear for longer periods. Custom fit, too, for the contours of his stump.

Getting the thing to cooperate through the implants was... a work in progress.

He wasn't getting rid of his electric wheelchair any time soon, but he could at least stagger about now. And with practice, and time, he would be able to walk again.

"Thank you," Barnes had said to Tony after the most recent trial of the leg. He had to use a cane to steady himself for now until he grew accustomed to the new balance and gait, but he was very pleased with how it had turned out. "Thank you," he had repeated again, quieter. Softer.

Tony waved it off. "Let me know when you need a new arm Robocop. Nebula had a couple of ideas but I think you'd rather just have something for regular daily use like the leg."

"I wouldn't mind a bottle opener or a laser pointer in the finger," Barnes joked.

Tony smiled and reached over, patting him on the shoulder with an arm attached.

o0o

He wasn't able to run without a stumble, but he could walk fast. He could walk at all.

His usual gait was different than it used to be with two real legs. There was no limp; the prosthetic was made to very exacting measurements to prevent such. But sometimes his mind would be faster than the implants and he's stumble, just a little, if he went too fast.

So power walking was pretty much his fastest setting these days.

And he was more likely to be doing as he'd said to Stark before... administrative duties. Which he'd gotten better at over the last year and a half. Nothing happened at that compound that Barnes didn't know about.

Unless it was in the workshop, and even then he usually had an inkling of what was going on there because the invitation to visit was never revoked after he'd received his leg.

As such, he was power walking his way there now, with a StarkPad in hand and looking greatly annoyed.

The moment the doors opened for him, thanks to FRIDAY, Barnes shouted, "And why the hell didn't you tell me you were leaving?!"

"Didn't think you'd care much," Tony said, looking back at him.

"Honestly you're the only person in this damn place I can stand. Other than FRIDAY and Nebula."

The hero's expression softened some at that. "Well... I need to get away. Same reason you avoid the west wing of the compound."

"But you don't have to leave, Tony."

"I do. There's too many ghosts and I can't take it anymore. I've got to get out of here."

Barnes swallowed, setting the StarkPad on the nearest surface and crossed the workshop to go to his friend. At least, he considered Stark a friend after everything the last year and a half.

"You can't change my mind."

"I can see that. Will you at least be in driving distance?"

"Yeah. I bought a plot of land a little further upstate. It's on a lake. Trees everywhere."

"The exact opposite of everywhere else you've lived."

Tony nodded. "Need a change in scenery..."

Barnes nodded. "I'll leave the StarkPad there. I need you to sign off on some stuff for the Maria Stark Foundation before I try to push it through. And then Rhodes is going to want an explanation, too. I suppose Happy already knows?"

"Who do you think suggested it."

"The traitor," Barnes said. "And I don't avoid the west wing. Nobody lives there so there's no reason for me to bother with it other than a once a month pest inspection."

"You still didn't bother to have their things packed up," Tony pointed out.

"Yeah... well... You need anything before you go? When-"

"This evening. I've already got furniture moved in and set up. I'll be having the workshop here emptied and moved over within the week."

"You sure I can't convince you to stay?"

"This is why I didn't want you to know until AFTER I'd left," Tony huffed.

Hours later, after they'd had their usual banter back and forth in the workshop as Tony was planning what needed to be packed with what, Barnes was standing outside, watching Tony drive off.

Nebula had come to fetch him for dinner. "Ugh. You look worse than Quill when he was staring at my sister all the time..."

"What?"

"You didn't tell him did you? Of course not. He still left. Idiot," she said, nudging him in the side with her elbow. "Romanoff says diner's ready."

"She didn't cook, did she?"

"No. Colonel Rhodes did."

"Oh thank god. How the hell she manages to give a super soldier food poisoning..." Barnes said, turning away and following Nebula back inside.

o0o

Tony still visited the compound on his way into New York City to deal with SI business.

He'd stay a day, but be gone by nightfall.

Nebula would glare at the two of them if she saw them together, but she never said a word other than to utter "idiots" under her breath.

Barnes had asked Tony if there was anything he could help with, not with Stark Industries, but maybe with any charities that were still functioning in the world. It was how he was put with the Maria Stark Foundation. Barnes found it fitting, actually, despite having little experience running anything like that. He be put with something created to honor Tony's mother, the mother he took from him. He'd thanked the man for the thankless administrative position, and actually did really well with it. He wasn't important enough to make major decisions, but he was a liaison between the foundation and Tony himself. A position that could have been filled by anyone really.

He didn't take any pay either - a stipulation he was very firm on with Tony from the beginning. He wanted it to be actual amends and atonement. Not something to reward him for his work.

So it was usually business they talked about when Tony did visit the compound.

On this occasion though...

"Come out to the house," Tony had said. "I can't stand to look at you armless anymore."

"Tony-"

"No. Seriously. Come out. This place won't fall apart without you for a few days. Nat and Rhodey have it covered."

"That's what I'm afraid of..." Barnes had muttered as Tony walked away, and he turned to follow. "Alright, fine. Three days. Then I'm back here to make sure they haven't set the house on fire!"

o0o

Two and a half years after the Decimation saw Barnes spending 2 weeks a month at the house by the lake with Tony. It was mostly to keep Tony from losing his fucking mind from being alone too much. But the man himself would never admit it and often joked that Barnes might as well move in with how often he was there.

He practically had, actually.

But Tony was doing better out in the woods than he was at the compound. Barnes could clearly see that.

It was one such 2 week visit that Barnes came with what looked like a rifle case.

When he showed Tony what was inside, however, the man looked up at him and frowned.

"How the fuck... that's vibranium," he said then looked back down at the shattered pieces of arm in the case. "How the fuck did something break through VIBRANIUM?"

Barnes shrugged. "Don't know. But my guess is something made of stronger stuff."

"There's nothing on Earth stronger than-"

"They didn't come from Earth, Tony. Hold on, I got something else for you. A present from New Asgard."

Barnes left him and went back out to the car, coming back with a briefcase. He set it down next to the rifle case with the pieces of the arm Shuri had made him in Wakanda. He opened it and turned it around. "Don't know what it is, but Valkyrie says it was one of the weapons from the assholes that attacked them on their way here. Figure it might be stronger than vibranium."

Tony eyed the broken weapon in the briefcase for a long moment. "I know what you're trying to do."

"What's that, Tony?"

"I'm not making another suit. I'm done."

"I didn't say this was for you. I was thinkin of Rhodes actually. I know why you won't ever put the suit back on. But I figured you'd still want to make one for your best friend. If my arm and this hunk of metal can help you do that, then by all means. Might as well melt down Steve's old shield while you're at it. Not like he's using it."

o0o

Three years after the Decimation saw Colonel Rhodes with a new suit with better leg and back support. While the broken arm of the ex-Winter Soldier and Cap's shield wasn't enough for a full suit, it was enough for Tony to analyze and synthesize. The mystery metal that Barnes had brought him from New Asgard turned out to be adamantium. The only known source of it on Earth was in Antarctica. So instead he contacted New Asgard to see if they had more of it.

Broken weapons from their fight against Thanos' men were shipped to America. They were analyzed. They were scrutinized. And he managed to finally find a way to melt it down in a foundry in Vermont. But it was just enough to mix with synthetic vibranium to make the suit.

An indestructible - he hoped - suit for the now only armored Avenger.

Barnes had watched over the months as Tony worked, figuring it all out and then perfecting the suit he'd had blueprints for but never intended to build.

The more Tony had something to focus on, the better he seemed.

When Barnes was around the man at least ate and slept on a more regular schedule. And FRIDAY tattled on her creator the other two weeks in the month.

"You know," Tony said over lunch one day. "Your work with the foundation can go fully remote, right?"

Barnes looked up from his sandwich. "Yeah."

"You already practically live here. Might as well make it permanent," Tony said, never looking away from his StarkPad.

"I'm not your keeper."

"No, you're my friend, believe it or not. So, offer stands. Plus Friday likes you."

"Well that's a ringing endorsement if I've ever heard one... Tell you what. I'll think about it," Barnes said, looking back down at his lunch. But he couldn't do much else to hide his pleased smile than eat his food.

o0o

It was a month later when Barnes showed up with two boxes and a duffel bag.

"That it?"

"That's it."

"You really don't own a lot, do you?"

"Figured I'd leave some emergency clothes back at the compound. A suit and tie, some tees and jeans. Just in case I'm stuck there overnight or somethin."

Tony helped him by getting one of the boxes, and resisted the urge to peer inside, and carried it down to the house.

He left him to get settled in the rest of the way before calling him out to the garage via FRIDAY.

When Barnes got out there, it was to find Tony at his workbench, a hologram up on display, of an arm.

"What's all this then?"

"You need another arm."

"No I don't. I'm fine like this," Barnes said as he looked around for a place to sit. He found a stool and drug it over to the workbench.

Tony rolled his eyes dramatically. "See, thing is Winter Wonder, you don't have to."

"What if I WANT to?"

"Up to you. But I'm still building it."

Barnes shook his head, but was smiling a small, amused smile anyway. "How long have you been planning this?"

"Since I did the leg."

"Tony..."

"What?! I knew you wouldn't accept both, and the leg was more important at the time."

Barnes looked at the design, similar to the one Shuri had made, and nothing at all like the HYDRA arm. "Alright... I won't complain. But make sure it can be removable if I want. That way if it gets damaged I can pop it off and hand it over. That was one of the best parts of the one Shuri made me."

"Synthetic vibranium?"

"Only if it means it'll be lighter weight. I don't want one for fighting, Tony. A regular prosthesis is fine with me."

Tony nodded, making notes and looking at the hologram again.

"Was thinking of going into town to pick up something for dinner. You want anything specific?"

"Been craving Chinese lately."

"You know we ain't got a Chinese place in town. How about that Korean place. Sound good?"

"Yeah. That's fine," Tony said distractedly.

Barnes watched him for a few more moments before looking around for something to do until time to leave and go get dinner.

o0o

Things weren't that different living at the house with Tony full time and commuting into the Compound occasionally to deal with matters in person when absolutely required.

Tony came a bit out of the shell he'd built up around himself in his isolation.

It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and holding hands - they fought, sometimes as Rhodes would comment when he would visit, like an old married couple. They'd annoy the hell out of each other just because they were bored. But at the same time, their arguments weren't malicious. It was usually just misunderstanding or one of them was just having a bad day.

But one night in particular, about 4 months after Barnes had fully moved in, Tony found him in the den, curled up under a blanket with a book in the middle of the night. A cup of coffee half-empty on the end table beside the couch he was on.

"Nightmare?" Tony had asked.

"The Alps. You?"

"Afghanistan," he replied. "Any more coffee?"

"Yeah. Made a whole pot. Help yourself."

Tony left him and came back soon enough with a StarkPad in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. He sat on the other end of the couch and pulled his legs up, tucking them under himself as he started to work in silence.

Barnes looked over his book at him before sitting up some and adjusting the blanket. "Here," he said, offering the end of it to him.

Tony turned his head to look at him in confusion before realizing what was being offered. A moment of consideration passed before he nodded and reached out to take the edge of the blanket, pulling it up some to cover himself up to the waist. Then he went back to work on the pad.

Satisfied that what little comfort he could offer was accepted, Barnes went back to reading his book.

They spent the remainder of the night there, only getting up to refill their cups when necessary, before settling back in and doing their own thing alongside one another.

At one point Barnes fell asleep, and when he woke late the next morning Tony was gone. But the book he'd been reading was marked to the page he'd fallen asleep on and was set next to his empty coffee cup.

After that night, it became a regular thing to find one or the other on the couch in the den, a pot of coffee made, and that same oversized blanket being used.

o0o

Three years and six months after The Decimation Barnes had a new arm. It wasn't too fancy by Tony's standards but by everyone else's it was state of the art and cutting edge technology.

That was also when the flirting started.

Though who started it, neither could really be certain. It had just been a natural evolution of the playful banter between friends.

The next time Rhodes came out to visit, bringing Nebula with him for a tune up on some of her limbs that were giving her some trouble, the blue woman gave them a knowing look.

"Are you still idiots?" she'd asked Barnes while waiting for Tony in the garage.

"What?"

"Making sad eyes at each other all the time. It's disgusting."

"I don't know what you mean."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Have you kissed him yet?"

"No. Of course not. We're friends."

"So were Quill and Gamora," she countered. "But they were idiots, too."

Barnes shook his head and sighed. It wasn't like that with him and Tony, surely. Sure there was some flirting back and forth but he knew it wouldn't go anywhere. There was too much history between them - bad history - for that to be a good idea.

When Tony appeared soon after, with Rhodes trailing behind him, Nebula looked at him and said, "Why haven't you kissed him yet?"

"Well that was out of left field," Tony said while Rhodes nearly choked on air behind him. "Where the hell did that come from? What in the world were you two talking about in here?"

"The fact that you two are idiots who keep making sad eyes at each other."

Barnes uncrossed his arms and held his hands up as if to say he wasn't part of that conversation. "Don't look at me, she's the one that's saying it."

"What? You live in close quarters, you're doing that disgusting thing where you flirt. You were doing it when we got here. And you made him an arm. Just get to it already and put us out of our misery."

Rhodes came up to stand beside Tony and was so, so confused. "Why in the world are you so invested in this?

"That's what I'd like to know," Tony said as he turned away from them to search for the toolkit he uses when he does her maintenance. It wasn't to hide the fact his face was heating up at the thought and turn the conversation had taken.

Nebula watched him, then looked back to Barnes who was fighting to keep himself from laughing at the absurdity of the situation. "Let me ask you something..." she said. "If you were to wake up tomorrow and find out someone killed Stark, what would you do?"

"Track down the bastard and wish he'd never been born," he said without any hesitation.

Nebula nodded, then looked towards Tony. Tony who still had his back to them and was pretending to keep looking for those tools.

Rhodes, catching what she was doing, hummed but said nothing about it. "Hey Barnes, what's say you and me head back up to the house and figure out something for dinner tonight so these two can tweak her arms or whatever it is they do in here."

Once the two men were gone, Tony turned to Nebula. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"You are my... friend. And you are being an idiot."

"You keep saying that but-"

She groaned. "You two are worse than Gamora and her buffoon. That man would kill for you."

"Yeah, he just said," Tony quipped back, sitting on his stool and signaling for her to pull up a chair to his workbench so they could get started. "Thanks I guess."

"We do not know how long we have to live," she said. "I finally got my sister back, but I did not have much time with her. Thanos took her from me again. And this time she isn't coming back. He used her to get the soul stone. So even if by some miracle what he did could be undone... she will still be dead."

Tony listened as he reached over to pop open an access panel on her arm that she laid out so readily on the workbench. "I'm sorry for your loss, Nebula..."

She nodded, closing her eyes for a moment as she fought to keep her own emotions, her anger at her loss after so long, in check. "My point is, Stark, that you or he could die tomorrow. And you won't have told him. I never got the chance to tell my sister how much I loved her before she was ripped away from me again. Quill had to watch as Gamora was taken from him, not knowing what would happen."

"So you want me to what? Tell the man who killed my parents that-"

"I have done despicable things in Thanos' name. But you earthlings still find me worth redeeming." She paused, looking down at the work he was doing on her arm. With he other hand she tapped the surface of the workbench almost boredly. "You built him an arm. You built him a leg. Why?"

"I like to fix things. One of those I broke once so it was only right I fixed it."

"You asked him to move in here with you. Why?"

"I get bored out here by myself."

She hummed. "Idiots. Both of you. I've known it since I first laid eyes on the two of you in the same room together. You need to talk to each other. Stop ignoring the whale in the room-"

"It's elephant," Tony corrected her.

"Whatever giant mammal is in the room with you," she said. "Stop ignoring it and talk about it. Otherwise one day it will be too late. And you'll be very angry with yourself."

Meanwhile... Back in the house....

"Please tell me you two aren't fucking."

Barnes nearly dropped the package of ground beef on the floor as he was taking it out of the freezer. "What?"

"You and Tony making googly eyes at each other damn near every time I'm here. Please tell me that's all it is."

"We're not- I wouldn't- What the hell Rhodes?!"

Barnes put the package of ground beef on the counter, then turned quickly away from Tony's best friend and started digging around for something to use with the beef.

"Because if you were and you hurt him I'd have to kick your ass. Super soldier or not."

"We're not doing that."

"I know I'd kill a man for Tony but he's been my little brother for over 30 years. What's your excuse soldier?"

"He's kind," Barnes said. "Deserves better than he gets."

Rhodes hummed at him. "You got any tomato sauce? One of Tony's favorites is baked ziti. That is, if you have ziti."

Barnes looked around in the cabinet. They did, in fact, have ziti. "What else do we need? If we don't have it we could always run into town to get the rest."

"Or I could go into town and get the rest while you hide away in the kitchen." Rhodes shook his head and pushed off the counter where he was leaning. "I just MENTION the man likes something and you're jumping straight to making sure he gets it. You got it bad, Barnes. God Nebula's right. You are idiots."

o0o

They spent a week after Nebula and Rhodes had come out to the house by the lake avoiding one another.

But it wasn't exactly tenable when they shared a house together.

Barnes was up late watching Game of Thrones on the TV with the sound muted and subtitles on so he wouldn't wake Tony in the middle of the night.

He was barely into Season 1 when Tony had come padding down stairs from his bedroom in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top.

"Can't sleep?" he asked from the doorway. "Yeah, me either. You can turn that up if you want."

"Didn't want to wake you," Barnes said as he paused his show and turned to give Tony his attention.

Tony waved as if to say "it's okay" and moved to sit on the other end of the couch.

Barnes offered the end of the blanket, and Tony wordlessly, like always, accepted it and covered his legs with it.

Barnes turned his attention back at the screen, turned up the volume, and was about to turn off the subtitles when Tony said "Leave those on. It's easier to follow along. Don't hear so well these days what with uh... all the explosions and stuff back when I was Iron Man."

The silence that came after that small admission was heavy until Barnes smiled softly and said, "So that's why you listen to that God awful noise you call music so loud in the garage." It was said with only mild teasing, but not maliciously.

Tony gave a small laugh. "So where are you at? Far enough where I need to catch up or not far enough where we can start over?"

"I don't mind starting over," Barnes said, glancing at Tony as he held up the remote again. "It's a little slow at first. But Wong said it really picks up in season 2."

o0o

The following week found the pair up late again, Tony after spending three days in Manhattan at SI dealing with contracts and paperwork and everything else he hated doing as the CEO again. And Barnes had taken the chance to head back to the Compound to check on things with his own eye during that time, not wanting to be alone.

"I think Nebula's ready to come here and lock us in a closet for a while until we stop being idiots," Barnes said.

Tony nearly choked on his popcorn. "Come again?" he said, giving Barnes his full attention rather than the boyishly handsome Jon Snow on the screen. "What the hell?"

"I mean she's right, ain't she?" Barnes asked, turning in his corner of the couch and looking at Tony. "Are we really just a couple of idiots?"

Tony knew exactly what he was getting at. "Nebula's an idiot."

"If you say so," Barnes said, giving him one last look and turning his attention back towards the screen in front of them. "Just sayin though... Not really opposed to the idea."

"See you can't just say something like that and expect me to drop it now," Tony griped. "This, whatever the hell this is we've got, it just works. That weird nebulous gray area. And why the hell is she so insistent about this anyway? It's nobody's business but yours and mine anyway and-"

"Tony, it's fine."

"It's not fine because you brought it up and now it's out there and it can't be ignored anymore. And because you brought it up it means you've been trying to think about it and-"

"Tony you're overthinking it. Doesn't have to be anything."

"See you say that but-"

"If I kissed you would it make you shut up?"

"Probably not."

Barnes laughed, he actually laughed at that and Tony frowned at him. "I'm fine with the way things are, honestly."

"Liar."

"Takes one to know one," Barnes replied. "But really. I'm just lucky to be here. To have whatever weird thing we've got. You're the closest friend I've had in 80 years."

"Really? Closer than Steve?"

"Steve would die of embarrassment if I flirted with him the way I do you. Then he'd give me a lecture about propriety even though he wouldn't believe a damn word of it himself. And then he'd be weird about it for a while."

"Damn, really?"

Barnes nodded, then grinned and did his best impression of Steve he could muster. "Time's have changed now, Buck. But you still shouldn't go around acting like a fool and getting people's hopes up if you don't really mean it."

Tony snorted before laughing, a deep and honest belly laugh. "Did you know," he said. "One time we were fighting HYDRA, trying to get into the base in Sokovia, and I'm flying straight at the building, gonna blast my way in right. My suit didn't detect the force field so I bounce right off. I shout the first thing that comes to mind: Shit!"

"As any sane person would."

"Yes, thank you," Tony said, grinning. "Anyway, so what does Steve say in reply? Language. In that tone of his when he's disappointed in you."

It was Barnes' turn to laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he did. "He really said that?!"

"Yeah! So of course I ribbed on him for it for days."

"That hypocrite," Barnes replied, shaking his head with another laugh. "That man had the foulest mouth of all the Howlies. And that's BEFORE we went to war. Half the fights he got into were because of that damn mouth of his."

Tony laughed again. "You know what made it better?"

"What?"

"I told everyone. So everyone was in on it."

o0o

It was sometime later after their awkward talk that devolved into bonding over making fun of Steve, a few weeks perhaps, that the topic had come up again. Barnes was having a rough day with the prosthetic leg, his stump aching something awful, so he was in his wheelchair instead. Tony hadn't even asked if he needed anything or if he could help. He just quietly made sure Barnes' favorite mug was on the counter within his reach. Made sure his preferred condiments were closer to the edge of the counters or table so he wouldn't have to lean too far out of the chair.

And Tony had taken to making them food that day so Barnes wouldn't have to fight with the stove from his chair when usually he'd be standing in front of it.

Over dinner, is when the conversation happened. The one they'd both been avoiding but both knew needed to be had after that awkward night of bonding.

"Thanks, for today," Barnes had said simply.

Tony had shrugged and looked up from the paperwork on his StarkPad. "Don't sweat it," he said.

There was silence as the two ate, but the silence was awkward and heavy. "Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"We're idiots."

"Yeah... we are."

"So we gonna do somethin about it or keep ignoring it?"

"Look B-"

"James. If we're gonna talk about this, at least use my damn name."

Tony sighed and put down his fork, and his StarkPad. "I'm not good with talking. Or feelings. Or anything remotely to do with this kind of conversation in general."

Barnes shook his head and sighed, leaning back in his wheelchair. "Yeah, me either. But we gotta. There's a line and I don't know if I'm welcome to cross it or not."

"You're saying I am? Welcome to cross that line? Because I don't think you realize how fucked up our situation really is."

"Oh I know how fucked up it is. Doesn't change the fact I feel what I feel though. And look at you! You're sex on legs. But more than that you're kind. And you're so damn smart and I don't care what anyone says you're brave as hell. How could I not be attracted to you, Tony?"

"I'm old and broken, James."

"Pot," he said, pointing to Tony. "meet kettle," he said pointing to himself.

"Oh so it's a competition now?" Tony frowned.

Barnes actually growled in frustration. "If i could walk right now I'd pull you outta that chair and shake you for being so damn obtuse." Metal fingers tapped the arm of his wheelchair as he thought about what to say next.

"Well you could if you'd been wearing your leg I made you."

He didn't say anything to that, still trying to find the right words to get through to the stubborn, self-deprecating old fool.

"I know," he started finally. "Things with us are complicated. So damn complicated and always will be. But I can't help feelin' a certain way about you. But if you really don't wanna even try, if you don't feel anything at all about me other than friendship... then I'll respect that boundary. I won't push. I won't bring it up. And things'll just be the way they are."

"See I hate when people do that."

"Do what, Tony?"

"Tell me shit like this and then turn around and say we can pretend they didn't. I can't do that. It's out there now."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. That makes it worse." Tony pushed his plate forward a little and scooted his chair back. "I need time to think," he said, reaching for the StarkPad. "I'll be in the garage."

Barnes nodded. "Well... you know where to find me when you're done thinking," he said as Tony rushed from the room.

o0o

He couldn't sleep. Tony still hadn't come out of the garage. So he started season 4 of Game of Thrones without him. He curled up under the blanket, leaned into his corner of the couch, and tried to relax. Barnes was honest about respecting Tony's boundary if that's what he wanted. Though he didn't want to, he could stomp down how he really felt so long as he could at least keep the man as a friend.

It was part way through the third episode when Tony turned up, standing at the end of the couch where he normally sat. He didn't say a word, but he had a bowl of popcorn in one hand.

Barnes looked over at him, raised a brow, and then lifted the blanket. Tony didn't sit at the end of the couch like he usually did. Instead he sat right next to Barnes, thigh touching thigh beneath the blanket.

"Not a damn word," Tony said when Barnes lifted his metal arm and put it on the back of the couch. Tony rolled his eyes, reached up and grabbed the hand, bringing the arm down around his shoulders. "Actions are better than words with me. I suck at words."

"Yeah, I noticed," Barnes said, giving a small smile as he reached into the bowl with his other hand.

They sat quietly on the couch, together, watching two more episodes before Tony fell asleep leaning against him. Not wanting to wake him up, Barnes just continued to watch the TV until he fell asleep himself.

o0o

Not much changed at first. But they knew where they stood with one another now. Things felt more settled and certain between them.

Tony occasionally put his foot in his mouth, but that was to be expected since his self-admitted inability to actually use his words when it came to feelings and emotions and all that squishy stuff. Barnes didn't read too much into it and instead paid attention to the man's actions and the way he treated this evolution of their relationship to one another.

They settled into a new rhythm that included more affection, more cuddling, and the occasional peck on the cheek, or the crown of the head, or hand.

One day Barnes had insisted they go into town for the day, dragging Tony out of the garage and telling him to put on something comfortable and to put on a good pair of sneakers for walking.

Barnes wouldn't let Tony drive, since he didn't know where in town they were going anyway.

They ended up parking near downtown and had a bit of a walk. Tony, concerned about the distance asked him if he was sure, and Barnes nodded, tapping his leg. "Made sure to put in a little extra cushioning before we left. I'll be fine."

The closer they got to downtown, the louder things got. There was music and stalls set up and- "What's all this?"

"It's mostly a open market," Barnes said. "But there's also a classic car show I thought you'd want to see."

Tony's eyes went wide in excitement at the mention of the car show. His face lit up and his mouth formed the biggest smile Barnes had ever seen on his face. "Well come on then Winter Wonder!" he exclaimed, grabbing him by the hand and starting to pull him along, careful not to pull to much or move too quickly so the man wouldn't stumble with his prosthetic leg.

They meandered through the open market, looking at different crafts and goods that people had brought for sale. By the time they made it to the other end where the car show was going on, Barnes was loaded with various types of paper and plastic bags. But he was smiling, seeing Tony so excited about something outside his garage for a change.

Eventually Barnes did need to sit down, so he found a bench where he could keep an eye on Tony and sat to wait for him. He was sat for another half hour before Tony came up, an ice cream cone in each hand. He stepped over the bags on the ground and sat down beside him, offering him a chocolate dipped cone.

"Thank you for today," he said when the cone was taken from his hand.

"Well, figured we should probably go on a first date."

"You mean kicking my ass in Germany didn't count?"

Barnes shook his head and let out a huff of a laugh. "You know what I mean, Tony."

Tony sat back and watched the people as the two of them ate their ice cream. Evening was coming on, and they would have to head back home soon.

Their first real kiss happened on that bench, as the sun was getting low over downtown. Despite the tragedy the world - the universe - had suffered there were so many people still there. Still putting together some great big event in the middle of downtown. Signs of life. Signs that the world keeps spinning and going on and moving forward to spite the horrors and the tragedy that had befallen them all.

And it was with these life affirming thoughts swirling in Tony's head that he reached down with his free hand, taking Barnes' flesh hand in his own and held it a moment before turning some.

He didn't say anything, just waited for Barnes to look at him back.

It wasn't a deep and searing and passionate kiss. It didn't lead to them making out on the bench in the middle of public. But at the same time, it wasn't just a quick, chaste peck on the lips either. It was firm, but not demanding. It was a statement of fact. That Tony felt the same way about Barnes - no James - as the other man did about himself.

"Let's go home," James said after the kiss, his voice soft and affectionate.

"I could massage your stump for you. It's gotta be aching so bad after all that walking."

"It's not so bad," James replied with a smile. "Worth the ache to see you all lit up like this."

o0o

The next time they saw Rhodes and Nebula about three months after their first date and first proper kiss, the blue woman had thrown her hands in the air, shouted "Finally!" and then held her hand out to Rhodes. "You owe me money."

Tony had laughed and James had rolled his eyes in false annoyance as he slid an arm around Tony's waist. "You two are terrible," he'd said before giving Tony a peck on the cheek. "I've got to go check in with Nat. You good here, doll?"

"I'll manage."

"Keep him out of trouble," James said, looking at Rhodes.

"What do you think I've been doing for 30 years, Barnes?" he replied with a grin. "Go on. Nat's been chomping at the bit to pick your brain for a while."

Tony tilted his head and James gave him another peck on the cheek before pulling away and heading for Mission Control where Nat practically lived these days.

When he was gone, Rhodes gave him a look. "Do I need to have the talk with him?"

"No. It's not like he hasn't already done the worst possible thing to me ever already. Can't hurt me more than he already has."

Nebula frowned. "He hurt you?"

"Not touching that one today," Tony said before rubbing his hands together. "Now then, have I got some ideas for the both of you. Have you considered micro missiles in your arm?" he asked Nebula. "And Honey Bear, I've got one hell of a HUD update for your guidance system."

As the three of them headed towards the mostly empty lab so Tony could use the holographic displays there to show off his ideas for the upgrades for both of them, James stepped into Mission Control and found Nat in her usual place at the desk.

"Long time no see," she said when he stepped into the room.

"Heard you wanted to see me. So here I am," he said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "What's this you wanting to pick my brain about?"

"Clint's on the run," she said, sitting up and putting her feet on the floor. "At first we thought he was... he was Snapped with the rest of them," she said. "Friday, can you bring up the files?"

Quietly the AI did as she was asked. Around them digital files were everywhere. Crime scene photos and news reports and video surveillance footage.

"What's this got to do with me?"

"He's... working as an assassin," she said. "And while my own skill set helps me try to make sense of what he's doing, it pales compared to your experience. I need a second set of eyes on this."

James frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking from hologram to hologram as he took it all in. "Friday," he said after a while. "Can you tell Tony I'm going to be needed here for a few days?"

"Of course, Sarge," she said. "Boss wants to know if you need his help?"

"Nah. It's Avengers stuff."

"Understood," Friday said. "Boss says he's staying the night before going on to SI in the morning."

"Thanks Fri."

James continued to study the information before and around him as Natasha watched him.

"You and Tony seem cozier than the last time I saw you guys."

"Yeah," he said absently. "Friday, can you get me more information on this attack in Beijing?"

"Of course Sarge," she said from above, bringing up more news articles, this time in Chinese and translating them for him.

"Arm around the waist, Barnes?" Nat said, slightly amused.

"You been watching the world through cameras too long," he said as he read through the information. "He's cleaning house, by the way."

"What?"

"Barton. He's not on a rampage. This isn't personal. Well, it is but it isn't. He's a man without purpose."

"His family was Snapped. All of them."

James nodded. "He's working his way through the Triad right now," he said. Then gestured to another article, this one in Russian and left untranslated. "He's already been working his way through the Bratva. No surprise once he reached Asia. Makes sense to work his way through Eastern Europe then into Russia first, then move south... Wouldn't be surprised if he ends up in Japan and trying to take on the Yakuza."

"Why? Why would he target specifically organized crime?"

James shrugged. "Beats me. I didn't know the guy. You're probably the one who knew him best. Look back at his records. Anything in his background either before or around the time he joined SHIELD. But one thing's certain, groups like that, they take advantage of the weak in times of crisis. Given what happened a little over three years ago..."

James continued to study the information, asking FRIDAY for more details here and there when he felt it necessary. Then he moved to the crime scene photos and various surveillance footage. "I thought he was big on the bow and arrow," he said.

"That was his calling card, yeah. Clint preferred distance over close quarters."

James nodded. "Natural sniper. But the man's angry," he said, pointing out one particular set of photos from France. "Very angry... Looks like he's gotten better over time channeling his anger into his kills but this is far from the precision and efficiency of a trained assassin. Not sloppy exactly, but he wants them to be found. These aren't just kills, they're examples."

They talked about potential motives and different things he noticed in the footage reels before FRIDAY interrupted them. He hadn't realized how much time had passed.

"Boss says it's dinner time. His treat. As long as it's Chinese."

"Sure. Nat and I are pretty much done for now anyway," he said. "He knows what I like."

"And Miss Romanoff?"

"Almond chicken with steamed rice," she said. "And spring rolls, not egg rolls."

"Got it."

Nat looked back to James with a knowing smile. "He knows what you like?"

He rolled his eyes before shaking his head. "Whatever you're thinkin, yeah."

"So Nebula was right... huh."

o0o

Four years to the day after the Battle of Wakanda and the snap heard around the universe, Tony and James were in New York City, leaving Stark Tower with the intent of heading into the city for the day when a portal opened up in front of them.

Tony nearly had a panic attack when it did, reaching for James and gripping his flesh arm tightly.

Wong was stood on the other side. "Apologies," he said to Tony, realizing the effect the sudden appearance of his portal had on him. "I... didn't think about the last time this happened to you."

"No, no. It's fine," Tony lied, looking past Wong at the familiar sight of the New York Sanctum. "So, your place or mine?" he said and gestured to the tower behind them.

"This is better discussed here at the Sanctum. If you would step through?"

"Haven't you ever heard of a phone? Or e-mail?"

"The WiFi is down," Wong said. "And I forgot to pay my phone bill."

"Wow. For sorcerer supreme, that's very irresponsible of you."

"Stark, just step into the portal would you. There's been a development."

James glanced at Tony, then looked back at Wong. "Sorry man, but we're retired. Best take it up with Rhodes and Nat. They're in charge of the Avengers stuff these days."

Tony pulled away, deliberately walking around the portal and leaving James standing there. James shook his head. "I'm sorry Wong. But we can't help you. Pay your phone bill and call Rhodes," he said, turning away to speedwalk after Tony.

He glanced back over his shoulder to see the portal closing behind them. Then, he reached out to grab Tony's hand to both slow him down and try to give him reassurance with the gesture. "Let's go to Central Park," he suggested. "Get an ice cream. That always puts a smile on your face."

"I'm not really feeling it today, Winter Wonder," he replied, but squeezed James' hand a little to let him know he was going to be okay.

o0o

Tony was still bothered by Wong and his stupid portal two nights later, staring up at the ceiling in bed with a metal arm slung across his chest. He didn't mean to still be awake. But he was. And he was annoyed that Wong coming to him was still bothering him.

"I can hear you thinkin, doll. Get some sleep," James' sleepy voice said from beside him.

"Can't. It's going to bother me way too much."

James lifted his head and kissed his cheek. "You want me to put some coffee on?"

"I don't want to keep you up..."

"Too late, doll-face. Besides, we can crash on the couch later with a movie."

"Too distracted for a movie..."

"Well I can crash on the couch with a movie and you can dither away at the other end with a StarkPad."

Fifteen minutes later found James shirtless and leaning against the kitchen counter in a pair of boxers, yawning and making coffee. Tony was over at the table, StarkPad in hand. "Friday, has he paid his phone bill yet?" Tony asked. FRIDAY chirped back with an answer far too chipper for 3AM.

"Alright, call Wong for me."

Soon a cup of coffee was on the table in front of him, and James dropped down into the chair opposite with a cup of his own. His hair was a tangle of bedhead and the man looked tired.

"You can go back to bed you know..." Tony said as the line rang.

"You know I have trouble sleeping now without you," he said. "Besides, I'm at least a little curious..."

That curiosity wouldn't last much longer though, as when a tired and clearly just woken up Wong answered the phone, Tony launched right into it. "What development and why me?"

What followed was a good half hour of Wong explaining that a scroll had been discovered at Kamar Taj with the instructions on how to perform spiritual time travel. The sorcerers had been searching through every piece of knowledge they had collected for thousands of years for an answer. For a solution to the Snap. Tony of course knew this, but he hadn't given it any thought for years.

But as he listened to Wong explaining what they had found, and what it could do, Tony was taken mentally back to Titan. Back to just before Thanos showed up and ripped them a new one.

Strange had used the Time Stone. He had floated there and searched for a solution. Any solution to the problem of Thanos. How to beat him. IF they could beat him.

And then told Tony there was only 1 outcome where they stood a chance. Not a definitive 'yes we win' answer, but at least a chance where they could overcome. He didn't have time to tell Tony the details before Thanos showed up...

But he couldn't help but think... maybe... maybe this was it. This was that chance.

James had become more and more alert throughout the conversation.

"Wait," he interrupted. "So what's this mean by spiritual time travel?"

"The astral plane exists alongside the physical," Wong said over the phone. "But in the astral realm time is not linear. It can slow, it can stop, it can speed up. This ritual claims it can also be moved backward."

"And why come to Tony?"

"Because when we looked back at history... Tony Stark was right in the center of everything. He's the one best suited and best placed to change the future."

"See, I KNEW I wouldn't like the answer," Tony said, clearly annoyed. But his annoyance covered the underlying feelings of worry. "Why not try Nat? She was there for a lot of it, too."

"Because she didn't have the same level of influence as you. And... we can't pinpoint how far back to send someone. It just... well the translation says it will send someone back to the point in time most advantageous for correcting the future."

"See, I don't like that either," Tony said, looking across the table at James. "Besides, I can't. I've got too much here now that i don't want to give up."

James frowned in thought. "Does it say only one person can do it, or can more than one?"

"Well... the more people involved the more unstable it might become... but no. It doesn't say anything about a limit... Mind you we don't even know if this will work or not."

"Hey Wong?"

"Yes Mr. Barnes?"

"We'll call you back at a more reasonable hour," he said, getting up from his seat, the chair scraping the wooden floor as he did so and rounding the table to take the StarkPad away gently. Once the call was disconnected, he set it aside and reached down to pull Tony to his feet.

"Why don't you go out to the garage, doll. Tinker with something for a while so you can let your brain work in the background."

"I can't-" Tony said. "I can't do it all again. I can't-"

"Which is why I asked what I asked," he said, squeezing Tony's hands gently with his own. "You know damn well I'd never let you do something so stupid alone... Now go to your happy place and I'll bring you out some fresh coffee. Maybe a snack, too."

Tony sighed tiredly, regretting the phone call and did as James said. He was right, he couldn't let it go but he needed to think without the pressure. He needed to let it percolate in the back of his mind while his attention was on something else, something useful.

Once he was certain Tony was gone, James went back to the counter, slumping some against it tiredly as the idea of time travel and fixing the world and everything else that was said swirled around in his head. They couldn't pinpoint a direct time frame. They would end up wherever they ended up. If they did this... would he still be held by HYDRA? Would Tony end up reliving his time in Afghanistan?... Would they both end up in Siberia with Steve caving Tony's chest in with that damn shield of his?

He looked up and stared out the window towards the garage.

Would they, could they be together in the past as they were now? He was either brainwashed or on the run. Tony was with Pepper Potts back then... Would they have to sacrifice everything for a chance, just a chance, at saving the universe and stopping the Mad Titan?

o0o

Things were tense for a few days. James didn't want to voice his fears and Tony was still working through the implications of time travel in any form. Logic dictated that if they changed the past, then the circumstances that allowed them to time travel in the first place would cease to exist, and thus they wouldn't time travel at all. The paradox was a problem, certainly. But then another branching theory of time travel Tony had looked into insisted that to preserve the circumstances and prevent a paradox, the world they would leave behind would continue on, without them in it.

There was no way to know for certain if either were true, or if both were false or both true. Not without actually doing it.

There was also the idea floating in scientific academia that insisted that if you were meant to time travel you will time travel because you always time traveled.

It was a lot to wrap even Tony's genius around.

Throw magic into the mix, too, and there was no telling what may actually happen.

But eventually... the two men needed to talk.

And so as many of their conversations happened, it was late in the night when neither one could sleep. When the nightmares of the past and the what-ifs of the future haunted even their resting minds.

And so it was that while Season 7, the final season before the Snap ruined everything and the show had to be canceled, of Game of Thrones played on the television, Tony moved the popcorn bowl out of James' lap and set it on the other end of the couch. "We need to talk about the time travel," he said.

"I know," James replied, with resignation in his voice. "You're not doing it alone. I'm going with you."

"But we don't know where or when we'll end up. You could be-"

"I know. It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Well I'm not!"

"Tony-"

"No. I won't have you back in HYDRA's hands! You've suffered enough, James." He turned under the other man's arm so he could fully face him.

"You could end up back in Afghanistan, Tony. Did you think about that? Or maybe we'd end up back that night in December... or maybe it's all for nothing and we end up right back in the fight against Thanos with you stranded on Titan again." He looked away, back towards the TV with a frown. "We don't know. And if the worst that happens is I end up back in that damn HYDRA chair, then you'll just have to come rescue me."

"That's assuming... we end up in the same place. In the same time," Tony said, still looking at him, now in profile. "There's so many risk factors, so many unknowns..."

"And you were hoping I'd try to talk you out of it," James said, eyes still on the television. "But I know you, Tony. When you get an idea in your head, when you really give it time to think it over, you never let it go. It haunts you, deep down to the bone until you do somethin about it." He turned his head then to look back at Tony with his one good eye. "Now you have the chance to do something about it."

"I'm so tired... So tired of being the one to solve the world's problems..."

"Did ya miss the part where I said I'm goin with you?"

"But I can't ask you to take that risk. Not after everything you've done to get free from those bastards..."

"Tony, would you rather deal with a Winter Soldier with or without triggers? Because you know damn well depending on when we end up Steve is not going to stop until he brings me home. Would you rather it be me, or the guy I used to be?"

"You obviously." Tony groaned and leaned forward, pressing his face against James' shoulder. "We're doing this aren't we?" he grumbled, voice muffled by the other man's shirt.

"You knew we were the moment we got off the phone with Wong. You just needed time to wrap your head around it. Accept there's risks and all that, and then still knew you were gonna do it."

Tony shifted his position again, turning to face the television once more, but also burrowed into James' side. His metal arm came back down comfortably across his shoulders, a reassuring weight against an uncertain road ahead, or rather... road back.

"Strange told me on Titan... there was a chance. Just a chance... What if this is it?"

"Then we do what it takes to get the job done, doll. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself knowing you could've done something."

They didn't talk anymore that night. Instead, they rewound the episode they'd talked through, watched it, and then went to bed but didn't sleep. Instead, they lay there in the dark, waiting for the first rays of the sun.

o0o

The pair of them told no one of the idea. Just in case it didn't work. They didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. Hell, they didn't even know how it would work out. If this reality, this future they lived in post Decimation, would continue on.

Tony made Wong promise that if it did... he'd tell Rhodes what they did. What they were trying to do.

Just in case the world kept spinning without them, Tony put his affairs in order. He signed off on a new CEO. He looked over his will that he'd made just after returning to Earth and made small amendments. There was one lucky teenager in Rose Hill, Tennessee who was going to find himself suddenly with more money than he knew what to do with. And a company to go with it. With Rhodes in charge until Harley reached 21. Not that Rhodes knew that right now, but it's how he'd had it set up since returning from Titan so close to death he could smell it.

James didn't have much to leave behind really. He'd never had much to start with, even back in the 40s.

It took a few months to iron out everything.

Their last night at the house by the lake was spent together, just in case things went sideways. They spent the morning in the garage while Tony tinkered on different projects. Lunch was had on the porch, looking out at the lake. The afternoon spent arguing over what to have for dinner before the pair of them decided to get dressed and go into town instead.

They went to a hole-in-the-wall pizza place where the Large took up most of the table and the Extra Large required they pull over a second one so the pizza pan wouldn't hang over the side.

They argued about whether the Night King was going to go straight to Winterfell, or if he was going to take our half of The North first. And about whether or not Cersei would honor her word to to Jon Snow and Daenerys and send troops north. It was a stupid argument, but it made them feel like it was a normal evening over dinner.

They took the leftovers home to eat for breakfast the next morning.

And that night when they went to bed, worry mixed with anxiety and anticipation for what was to come, James did his level best to help Tony shut his brain down for the night to try and get some rest. And if the three words neither man had yet been able to bring themselves to say before finally passed their lips alongside praises most profane, then it was only themselves and the night that would ever hear them.

o0o

They got up early and cleaned up. They dressed and took their time. James fixed the buttons of Tony's shirt, his hands lingering a little too long before he finally let himself step away.

"ready?"

"No," Tony said quietly. "But we've got to go anyway."

There wasn't anything left perishable in the kitchen. The house was clean and the sheets changed and the bed made. They left the house only after James took the laundry he'd done early that morning out of the dryer and folded it neatly and left it on the bed, as if they were going to come back and he could put them away then.

They took the leftover pizza with them and ate it on the way into Manhattan. By the time they got to Greenwich Village and Bleecker Street, they had hashed over plans for different points in time they may end up with. Both together and alone.

Tony hoped for a time between when he became Iron Man and nearly died of palladium poisoning. James wished the same, if only so he could go rogue on his mission in the Ukraine when he first encountered Natasha Romanoff on one of her early SHIELD missions.

The fact the mission overlapped with the time period Tony wanted to shoot for went without saying.

When they had finally arrived, Wong met them at the door. "We've done more research," he said in lieu of greeting as they went inside the New York Sanctum.

"Yeah? And what did you find?"

"If you hold onto each other, you should end up in the same time period."

"Well that's good to know," James said. "Anything else?"

"Aside from the best chance of success being that we do it the night of a New Moon-"

"Which we already knew, hence tonight," Tony said.

Wong nodded. "It's going to take three hours to cast the spell. And I'm going to need help. It's very complex with a lot of moving parts. More than we anticipated."

Tony nodded. He'd expected complications. "Do it. Get as many wizards in here as we need."

"Oh, and you can't eat anything 12 hours before. So if you had breakfast... that's the last time you can eat today."

"Well that sucks," Tony said, looking at James. "Good thing we had that pizza."

James frowned. "Can we have water?"

"Water yes. Coffee no."

"No coffee?!" Tony exclaimed. "that's it, pack it up. Game over. We're going home," he said. Though he didn't mean a word of it.

James patted him on the shoulder as if to console him. "Whatever will we do without your coffee?"

"Riot is what."

"So any particular reason for the food restriction?" James asked, genuinely curious.

"If this doesn't work we don't want you puking on the expensive and antique rugs," Wong said honestly.

o0o

The rest of the day was spent drinking water and expanding plans for different scenarios. It was the best thing they could do with the time given to them.

When the moment came for them to meet Wong and the other sorcerers in a ritual room beneath the Sanctum, Tony was nervous and James was fighting his fight or flight response. Specifically flight.

It was one thing to make the decision, it was another entirely to go through with it.

"Any last words before we begin the chants? You must remain absolutely silent while we cast or else the spell may backfire."

"I've got a few," Tony said.

"Always got somethin more to say, doll."

Tony turned to James, taking both his hands in his own and looking up at him. "Whenever we end up, I'll find you. I'll drag you home kicking and screaming."

"I won't be kickin and screamin, doll."

"Still... I won't leave you to those monsters, James. I can't."

"And first chance I get I'll break out if I have to. Come find you."

They stared at one another for a moment longer before James said it first. "I love you, Tony."

Brown eyes softened, and he licked his lips before saying back, "I love you, too."

Wong shook his head. "Are you done?"

James nodded. Tony looked at him, opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and nodded. He didn't let go of James' hands though, remembering what Wong had said. As long as they were touching, they had a greater chance of ending up in the same time period.

Soon the silence was filled with chanting, the sorcerers calling forth the power needed to perform the spell that would separate their astral forms from their physical bodies and open a pathway to the past.

They stood in the center as rings of gold spun around them, symbols neither recognized but knew they must be important materialized amidst the rings. But they stood as still as they could as the chanting continued. For three very long hours. At one point they went from holding hands to James wrapping his arms around Tony, holding him close as they waited for the moment the spell ended. Tony stood with his cheek pressed against his broad chest, arms wrapped around James' waist as he watched the rings of magic spin faster and faster around them.

He was the first to notice they'd turned green, but before he could react the world exploded in color.

He felt arms around him tighten and then there was a cacophony of sound. His senses were running amok. There was too much noise, too much light, too much even to his sense of smell. Just too much. Too much! TOO MUCH!

He clung to James, at least he thought he was clinging to him. Chancing a look down, he saw their bodies slumped on the floor.

"Tony don't let go!" James shouted above the noise as the pair of them were jerked back into some green spinning portal. Just as they passed the threshold, Tony watched as the world beyond, the world they were leaving, began to unravel as if made of string. Starting with their bodies, uncoiling and unraveling like thread pulled from a sweater and expanding outward.

He closed his eyes to the light, buried his face in James' chest as their astral bodies soared into the unknown.

He fought to hang on but felt his grip slacking. Felt his arms weakening as they were tossed around this way and that through time. He tried, oh Tony tried to hang on.

"Tony!" he heard and opened his eyes when he felt the arms around him give way. "TONY!"

"JAMES!" he screamed back, reaching out but knowing, knowing in his heart of hearts he couldn't reach.

"I'LL FIND YOU!" James screamed out as he got further and further away despite struggling to reach Tony. "I'LL FIND YOU!"

Tony was suddenly thrown in the opposite direction he wanted to go in, and his very soul ached as he was thrown around this way and that before finally slamming hard into something.

He opened his eyes, didn't exactly register where he was, and promptly vomited all over the floor in front of him before falling in it.

As for James?... After losing sight of Tony and being thrown around himself he slammed backwards into what felt like a wall and forced through it.

His shoulder ached and his whole body hurt and then the searing pain started in his head. He screamed as the pain burned through his skull. He didn't have time to be surprised that his arms were not restrained as he brought his hands to his head and fell to his knees, tears streaming from his eyes as he fought against the pain ripping through him. His last thought before darkness finally overtook him was Tony. He'd lost Tony in the strange, bizarre realm between life and death.