Chapter Text
The bell jingled as Hikaru pushed open the door to the shop, Yoshiki following close behind like night after the day.
The boy dug through the freezer, fishing out the closest thing they had to ice cream.
-
“Fully stocked my ass!” Hikaru complained, chewing on the neck of his Papico bottle. Yoshiki just hummed in agreement.
He could feel sweat dripping down his neck, dampening the hair covering his forehead.
“Can’t believe Hara made us run laps in this heat…”
Hikaru huffed. “That was straight torture!”
For a while, they ate in silence. The atmosphere was sort of nice… and also sort of tense, in a way.
It had been, ever since Hikaru had gotten out of the hospital.
Nearly dying gave you a new perspective, who knew?
The boy sat further away from Yoshiki when they hung out, couldn’t hang out most days because he was ‘studying’, and had also entirely stopped making a certain genre of jokes entirely, which Yoshiki didn’t know whether to appreciate or be wary of…
…
“Hey, Yoshiki.”
Yoshiki looked over at him.
Hikaru was facing away, and for a moment Yoshiki’s bangs lay just over his eyes just the right way make it look as if there was long black hair flowing down his back.
“…Yeah?”
Hikaru looked at him, ruining the illusion. He was smiling.
“We’re best friends, right?”
Yoshiki raised his eyebrows, wondering where this was going.
“…No, my best friend is Maki.”
The other boy was fiddling with his Papico. His smile was strained.
Yoshiki sighed. “Yeah, ‘course.”
“And nothin’ would ever change that?”
It wasn’t like Hikaru to get awkward. Out of the two of them, confidence had never exactly been Yoshiki’s thing. “…What have you done now?”
Hikaru wasn’t smiling anymore.
“…Yoshiki…”
“What’s wrong?”
“…D’ya remember Yusuke?”
Yoshiki could feel his heart pounding.
“Uh… yeah, what about him?”
Hikaru sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I’ve been meaning ta tell ya something fer a while now…”
…
Their silence was thicker than the muggy summer air.
“…Yoshiki, I think I’m… like… Maybe I’m like that. You know?”
Yoshiki was staring at him, like he was lost for words. Hikaru could feel his face growing hot.
“Um, but, I don’t know, cause I think I like girls too, so maybe not…”
Silence.
Right, now I’ve made things weird.
Yoshiki still hadn’t said anything. Hikaru felt like something was blocking his throat, that just wouldn’t budge.
The rejection hurt more than he had expected.
The sun was somehow so harsh, that his eyes were burning up.
“Uh… actually, ya know what, just forget that I-“
Yoshiki’s arms wrapped around him.
“It’s ok, Hikaru…”
Thank god.
…
He sounded upset, though..?
Hikaru wanted to pull back, to see if he was telling the truth, but Yoshiki just held onto him tighter.
“Hikaru… me too… I’m like that, too…”
Oh.
That actually… made a lot of sense. Maybe he really was an idiot.
Hikaru wrapped his arms around Yoshiki back, resting his head on the other boys shoulder. The last time they’d hugged like this had been around the time his Dad… Sniff.
“Yoshiki, ya cryin’?”
“You were the one cryin’…”
I guess I was.
——
Lying amongst the wet grass in the pitch black rain, his head throbbing, each laboured breath agitating his raw throat…
I just wish I could see him one more time.
He could hear a voice in the distance.
Yoshiki..?
Hikaru reached out with the last of his strength.
The light at the end of the tunnel was blinding.
-
The hospital lights were just as bright.
“Hikaru… why did ya have to go up that mountain?”
The light behind his head reminded him of a halo.
According to his mum, Yoshiki had found him.
Did Unuki grant my wish after all?
“…I told ya, it’s a secret…”
Thank you, Great Unuki.
-
The first thing Hikaru did when he got home, was to start planning for his next trip to the mountain.
Just one year, one more year, and then he could be sure Yoshiki would be safe until he got out of this village.
He just had to find Hichi-San, and be more careful.
I’ll make sure to do the ritual properly next time.
So please… don’t take him from me just yet.
——
The next day, the walk to school felt strange.
They chatted like normal, probably more like normal than they had in a long time. But somehow, everything was different.
Revealing the truth to each other was both a weight lifted and added all at once. The air was clear… it was amazing, but also terrifying.
Did Hikaru now know why he glanced at him a little too long sometimes?
Did he understand the way that one conversation had shifted his whole world into the light?
-
After school, they ended up in the village centre, munching on their usual favourite snack.
For once, Hikaru wasn’t eating much faster than Yoshiki.
“Hey Yoshiki…”
“What is it?”
Hikaru was picking at the breadcrumbs on his meat cutlet.
“Can you be… can ya be gay and still like girls too?”
Yoshiki wasn’t used to talking about this stuff with Hikaru. It made his heart flutter when Hikaru came to him about this stuff instead of anyone else.
…Even if he was still a little scared of other people overhearing.
“Well, that’s called bein’ bi… It means ya like any kinda person.”
“Huh...” Hikaru seemed lost in thought. It was weird seeing him like this.
…
After a while, Hikaru was the one who broke the silence.
“Uh… Yoshiki, how about you?”
“Me?”
“Do you… like girls, too..?”
Yoshiki flushed. A few days ago, he would have never imagined admitting something like that.
He tucked his hair behind his ear.
“…No. I’m…”
Yoshiki lowered his voice to a whisper. “I’m gay.”
—
On the way home, both of them were unusually quiet.
The tension felt strangely suffocating.
The admission had felt so freeing-scary-crazy-terrifying, and he kept glancing at Hikaru trying to figure out if he was lost in thought or if he actually just wanted nothing to do with him anymore…
…but also, he had another itch…
…a burning question.
If I don’t ask now, will I ever get the courage?
They made it all the way to Yoshiki’s house because he finally worked up the nerve to stop.
Hikaru almost bumped into him, still lost in his own head.
“Yoshiki-? Your bike get caught or somethin’?”
Yoshiki took a deep breath.
“Hikaru…”
“Yeah?”
“…Do you like me?”
Hikaru was stunned. He flushed, running his hand over his hair.
Do I tell the truth..?
…
He doesn’t know how much danger he’s in.
Maybe…
…when I find Hichi-San, I’ll give her to Yoshiki.
I’ll protect him.
…
“…I do… …I like you a lot.”
The last thing Hikaru saw was Yoshiki’s red face peeking through his dark hair, before his own was being shoved down, and other boy’s hand ruffling his hair.
“…Then don’t leave me again, ok?”
Hikaru rubbed his messed-up curls when he was let up, even though he didn’t care about that. Yoshiki wasn’t meeting his eyes, but… but the way he was blushing…
Butterflies.
“I won’t.”
Not like last time.