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1. I Hate That I Still Love You by decafmusings for huddys_willy1410

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)  

   • Explicit
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Major Character Death
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   15 May 2026

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Rape/Non-Con
   • Major Character Death
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov
   • It is important to me that you know these two love each other because this fic gets very not happy very fast
   • it is also very important to me that you read all of these tags and all of my notes
   • i know i'm as boring as shane but i don't want anybody getting upset when it's preventable
   • so read my tags and notes mkay? i made em funny and everything
   • Established Relationship
   • Established Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Omegaverse
   • AUOmegaverse
   • Alpha Shane Hollander
   • Alpha Ilya Rozanov
   • Alpha x Alpha
   • Gay Omegaverse Sex and all the tags that come with it
   • Knotting
   • Unplanned Knotting
   • Accidental Knotting
   • Rape/Non-con Elements
   • Detailed descriptions of Non-Con/Rape
   • Aftermath of Non-Con/Rape
   • Trauma
   • Flashbacks
   • Shane Hollander Needs a Hug
   • Shane Hollander Has an Eating Disorder
   • Shane Hollander Is Bad at Feelings
   • Shane Hollander Whump
   • Whump
   • Suicide
   • Suicide Attempt
   • Suicidal Ideation
   • Suicide Notes
   • Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
   • I'm serious every bird is so fucking dead
   • not cannon compliant
   • Set in a weird place in time but would be sometime around The Long Game
   • post the cottage
   • Post Heated Rivalry
   • Arguably Ilya Rozanov Whump
   • Nobody in this fic ends up happy
   • Hurt No Comfort
   • There is no soothing the pain
   • this fic is almost pure whump aside from the first 1.5k words
   • Not Beta Read
   • Ambiguous/Open Ending
   • Open to Interpretation
   • Implied/Referenced Character Death
   • Hey yeah open ending and implied character death so...like...may or may not be dead
   • tags are kinda conflicting i know i'm sorry
   • not to spoil it but if you read it one way he dies if you read it another he doesn't

   Summary

   Alphas were never made to take another alpha's knot - this is the dichotomy of every AlphaxAlpha relationship.

   Ilya and Shane are both more than aware of this.

   But what happens when a knot accidentally pops? How far can a body be pushed before it can no longer take more?
   (Now replace the words 'a body' with Shane Hollander and re-read that last sentence)

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   11,830

   Chapters:

   7/7

   Comments:

   9

   Kudos:

   76

   Bookmarks:

   18

   Hits:

   2,901