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Grace has, luckily, been able to avoid triggers for his tics while on the Hail Mary for a while. When he first woke up and he couldn't remember anything the stress had made him tic, making his life even more stressful than before, but as his brain adjusted to being awake and he remembered things about himself the stress had lowered and the tics had stopped. He knows it's just been luck and he counts his lucky stars, no pun intended, that he hasn't had to deal with tics while he's trying to figure out how to stop anastrophe from destroying his, and now Rocky's, sun. In fact, he's been so lucky that he doesn't really think about them. It's easy for him to forget that he has the tic disorder when he hasn't suffered from it in weeks.
However, upon waking up he feels a sharp pain shooting through the side of his neck and into his shoulder and it immediately sets him on edge. It's not uncommon for him to sleep on something funny, especially not since he's started to sleep on the floor of the dormitory so that he's closer to Rocky, but this time the pain is sharp and he can already feel that his luck has run out. He slowly moves the injured shoulder, seeing how it reacts to the movement, and his head jerks up violently in response to the pain that shoots up his neck. He takes a slow breath but doesn't move his body anymore.
"Grace awake, question?" He hears Rocky ask.
Rocky somehow always knows when he's waken up, Grace has a suspicion that Rocky can hear the difference in his breathing and heart rate and now uses it to know exactly when he wakes up. He can't be too mad, he sleeps more often than Rocky does, so it makes sense for Rocky to be excited when he does wake up. "Yeah, I'm awake."
"Finally. Grace sleep longer than normal, thirty-six thousand human seconds!"
The information makes him curious if hurting himself in his sleep made him sleep longer, if his body trying to handle it before he woke up. "Sorry, I must have needed the extra sleep."
Rocky hums softly, as if agreeing. "Why Grace not get up yet, question? Usually sit up quickly and stretch."
The question makes him sigh. He knew it would come up but he doesn't know how to explain what's going on to Rocky. Eridians are mostly inorganic materials and they function a lot differently to humans so Rocky won't understand the concept of getting hurt in sleep because his body completely shuts down and doesn't move. He doesn't know if Eridians can even get tics either, he doesn't know much about Eridian disabilities or disorders in general. Grace just really doesn't want to scare Rocky by sitting up and being unable to be the normal Ryland Grace that Rocky is used to.
"Why Grace not answer, question?" Rocky pushes, stomping his leg twice.
In a split second decision he decides to just sit up, hoping that the problem will have suddenly disappeared. The quick movement pulls at the injured muscle in his neck and his tics respond in turn, jerking his head to the side before jerking up. The jerk causes more pain and cause his body to jerk away from the pain, his head jerking down and then up repeatedly. He sighs as his head moves on it's own, his eyes beginning to blink repeatedly as it does. It's a vicious cycle of pulling on the strained muscle and then ticcing away from it and pulling on the poor muscle even more.
He falls back onto his pillows quickly, sighing softly as his body relaxes a bit. The ticcing already has more of his muscles tight and for once he's glad for the forced blinks as he fights back the urge to cry. It always makes him feel horrible when he isn't in control of his own body. The shame he always feels when he's having a bad flair up starting to fill him, just like it has since he was a child and the other kids would laugh at him when he couldn't control how his head moved.
It's silent, more silent than Grace would expect since he was certain Rocky would begin freaking out at the sight of him. He carefully moves onto his side so that he can look into Rocky's side of the ship, trying to ignore how his head repeatedly jerks up. Rocky is deathly still on his side of the ship, his carapace lowered a bit towards the ground. "Why… Why Grace do that, question? Grace hurt, question?" Rocky asks, his voice high in a way that it usually is when he's panicking.
Grace barely stops himself from shaking his head, not wanting to set off any more tics now that they've settled a bit. "I pulled a muscle in my neck while I was sleeping-"
"Pulled muscle, question? Something wrong with muscle, question?" Rocky cuts him off, skittering a bit closer to the xenonite between them.
"It just means that I stretched the fibers that make up my muscles too much and they're hurt right now. It's not anything serious," Grace is quick to assure, smiling softly. "The muscle still works, it's just a bit tender right now."
Rocky presses his front hands together, his carapace still low to the floor. "This pulled muscle cause movement, question?"
He takes a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for answering the question. Just talking about the disorder is going to cause his brain to focus on them and in turn he'll start ticcing again and he doubts it's going to be a short and simple conversation. Rocky will ask all the questions he has and he often has a lot. "Yes and no. The pulled muscle is the cause of the movement but it's not really the reason for the movement," He explains
"Don't understand."
"I have a tic disorder-"
Grace doesn't get to finish his explanation before his head jerks to the right, right into his pulled muscle. It sends his head jerking downward, his nose scrunching and his eyes blinking repeatedly. He lets out an unhappy noise at the movement, tiredness already seeping into his body at the tense movements. "New words…" Rocky slowly says, obviously worried about the sudden movements.
"A disorder is a condition that disrupts the bodies functions. Like a mental disorder is when the brain has issues that disrupts the persons life and the functions their body serve. A tic is an involuntary movement." Grace's head jerks down repeatedly, as if he's nodding but he tries to continue. "It-It's like my brain is misfiring… It's shooting the signals to my body but they're getting messed up on the way or they're sending the signals wrong. Does that make sense?"
His head jerks around quickly, going from nodding to shaking his head in quick successions as his eyes squeeze themselves closed. Rocky lets out a tune that Grace has come to recognize as him thinking. "Your brain making this happen, question? Your ♫ ♫♪♫ reacting to pulled muscle, question?"
Grace hums softly in agreement, if he could get to the translator right now he'd add the new words but he's already begun memorizing things so he just saves it for later. "Yeah. It's not something every human has, in fact it's an uncommon disorder, but I do have one. When you have a tic disorder things can set them off. When you're tired, stressed, or even injured it can set off the disorder," He explains slowly, trying to ignore how his head moves.
He can tell Rocky is having a harder time ignoring the movements though because sometimes he seems to follow the movements with his carapace. "Pulled muscle make brain misfire… How Rocky fix, question?"
"You can't fix it Rocky. Most disorders aren't really something that you can just cure, or fix. It's something that humans just have to learn to live with."
Rocky lets out an unhappy tune, tapping his foot on the ground as he talks. "No fix, question? What do, question?"
Grace raises a hand to pat the xenonite wall between them, trying to give the Eridian some comfort. "Do Eridians not have disorders like this?"
"Do but something like this very uncommon. Have not seen before."
He hums softly, it's not too surprising that Eridians don't have all of the same disorders that humans do. They differ greatly in a lot of different ways so he's sure that Eridians have their own set of disorders that humans don't have either. "Well it's okay. I'll just be the first human you've ever seen with it," Grace jokes.
"First human seen anyway," Rocky states, obviously unamused.
"That's the joke, Rock."
Rocky lets out another unhappy tune, shaking his fist. "Not time for jokes. Grace hurt hurt hurt." He laughs and his head tips back as he does but it makes his head jerk forward, his chin connecting with his chest and making his jaw click shut in a painful way. Grace sucks a breath in through his clenched teeth as a tic makes him scrunch his nose up long enough that the muscles begin to ache. "Grace okay, question?" Rocky asks, pressing against the xenonite barrier.
Grace takes a slow breath, trying to calm himself. "Yeah, I'm okay Bud," He assures.
"What Rocky do to help, question? What Grace need, question?"
He sighs softly, he knows there's not much that can be done other than keeping him calm and letting it pass. Shame builds up in him again as he thinks about it. He can remember how teachers used to bring more attention on him during tic attacks in school and how the other students would point and talk about him like he wasn't there while his teacher kept pressing him for what to do. When he had spent days studying astrophage without much sleep and then was forced onto planes to get to the aircraft carrier he had been stressed and exhausted leading to him into a tic attack and it was only made worse when he was forced into the room with all of the important leaders and had to speak in front of them. They weren't as open about their feelings about his tics but it's hard for him to miss the questioning and judgmental stares he can get.
It's just always so embarrassing. He hates that he's like this, that he sometimes can't control his own body. That it hurts and he just has to put up with it and put up with people thinking he's weird because of something he can't control. He's already weird enough without the tics helping him. Grace blinks a few times when his eyes start to burn but it just makes his tics grab onto the action, squeezing his eyes closed repeatedly.
"Grace, question?"
He turns his attention back to Rocky. "Sorry…" He mumbles. "It's just… this is embarrassing."
"Why embarrassing, question?"
Grace's eyes are forced shut and he tries to act like he's not being rendered temporarily blind because he can't make his own eyes open. "Having tics is embarrassing, other humans think it's weird and I hate when I can't control my own body."
Rocky makes a worried screeching sound. "No no no, did not mean to make embarrassed. Rocky no think weird, just not understand. Eridians don't think disorders weird," Rocky quickly explains, Grace can hear his carapace hit the floor out of guilt.
"Not you Rocky, I know you don't understand it and I'm happy to explain things to you," Grace quickly assures, finally able to open his eyes to look at the Eridian. "It's just something that's kind of been conditioned into me, to be embarrassed of things that stick out and make me different. A lot of humans feel that way."
"Humans so inefficient. Eridians don't care about difference, make Eridians special. Good good good. Why humans make other humans embarrassed, question?"
The words are bittersweet to him. He's happy to know that Eridians have done something humans can't, learning to celebrate their differences rather than making each other seem less than, but it hurts to know that he's been stuck on a planet that makes him feel like something he can't control makes him less than others. "Well humans aren't great at celebrating differences Bud," He answers slowly.
Rocky shakes his fist angrily. "Stupid stupid stupid. Rocky hate humans that make Grace feel bad."
He laughs softly, his chin jerking down to his chest again. "It's okay Rocky."
"Not okay," Rocky argues. "Rocky help, question? Grace need water and food… Rocky get, question?"
That does sound nice, he's sure some water would help make him feel a little better. Really he just wants to relax to try and keep his tics at a minimum, even if that means laying on the ground for the rest of the day. "That might be nice. Can you get me one of the laptops too? Maybe we can watch something."
Rocky perks up at being told he can do something to help Grace, skittering off quickly to collect all of the items. Grace smiles softly at the action. He knows Rocky prefers being able to help when he has a problem, especially if Rocky can easily fix it, so he's glad to give the Eridian tasks to make him feel helpful. He lets his eyes close, trying to relax his face and neck. Exhaustion has already started to seep into his muscles from the quick movements, he's already ready for a nap even though he just woke up.
He lays there for a few minutes before he hears Rocky's ball coming into the room. "Have things for Grace!" Grace slowly sits up, his head jerking to the side when he does. Rocky is very slowly making his way into the room, a laptop clamped in his hand in the soft portion of the xenonite ball. "Mary give Grace water and food, could not carry." Grace smiles, accepting the laptop as his nose twitches. The twitching nose always reminds him of a rabbit, in fact his mom would always say it was his bunny nose. A pouch of water and a breakfast burrito are handed to him as Rocky settles at his side. With one hand he opens the laptop and begins scrolling through all of the video files he has and with the other he begins taking a drink out of the pouch of water. "Grace feel better yet, question?"
He shakes his head on instinct but it makes his head continue to shake side to side even when he wants to stop. "N-Not yet Rocky..." He answers as he brings a hand up, starting to massage the pulled muscle in hopes of getting his tics to calm down.
"How long, question?"
"I don't know, it depends on when my body feels better."
Grace places the pouch of water on the floor next to all of his blankets and begins unwrapping the burrito in his hand, his head finally stopping its movement now that he is focusing on something. "Do not know when stop, question?" Rocky presses, obviously unhappy at the answer as he taps twice on the xenonite ball.
He takes a bite out of his burrito, wishing he had the hot sauce that's in the lab. "No, there's no way of knowing so we just have to wait. Plus, it's not good to talk about them. Talking about them can make the tics worse."
Rocky tilts his carapace to the side, picking up on Grace's habit of doing so with his head when he's confused. "Tics hear, question?"
Grace laughs. "No, they don't hear but talking about them and focusing on them makes my sub-conscious focus on them and trigger them even more."
"Human brain confusing." Rocky sings, leaning closer to Grace.
"Trust me, I know bud," He snorts, patting Rocky's xenonite ball before taking another bite of his burrito. His head jerks up but he tries to ignore it as he clicks on a random kids movie, hoping that it'll be calming enough that he can just relax. "We'll just watch something and relax for right now. It should help keep the tics calm."
Rocky lets out a tune of agreement, rolling away to get his sound wave screen before returning to Grace's side. "Yes, watch movie." Grace rolls up the rest of his burrito and places it and the rest of his water on top of Rocky's xenonite room, he'll finish it later. Right now he just wants to lay down. As he moves to lay down his head jerks to the side, connecting with the xenonite ball Rocky is in. Pain shoots through his nose and his eyes start watering, his head jerking up repeatedly. Rocky lets out a panicked tune. "Grace hurt self on ball, question? Grace hurt, question?" Rocky questions, tapping at the ball repeatedly.
Grace brings a hand up to his nose, he doesn't feel any blood but it definitely hurts. "I'm okay Rocky. I just bumped into your ball, it's nothing serious."
He can tell Rocky's worried, he can hear the warbled high-pitched notes no matter how quiet they are. "Grace sure, question? Should Rocky stay away, question?"
"No no no, I'm okay Rocky. It's not your fault. I want you to stay next to me, it'll help me feel better," Grace quickly states, wiping the water from his eyes. "The pain is already going away." His head jerks to the side repeatedly and he quickly lays down, not wanting to hit his face anymore. The xenonite is pretty strong so he's lucky he didn't jerk into it any harder or he could have broken his nose. Rocky continues to warble over him worriedly, ignoring the movie completely in favor of watching him. Grace raises a hand to pat the ball. "I'm okay Rocky, really. If it was something serious then my nose would be bleeding or we would have heard a crunch."
Rocky lets out a sound of disgust at the mention of a crunch sound but he does seem to relax, folding most of his arms under him and holding the crystal up at the laptop screen. "Good good good… No want Grace hurt."
"I'm perfectly fine," He assures, settling into a more comfortable spot where he can still see the laptop screen.
It doesn't take long for the exhaustion to catch up to him, barely getting thirty minutes into the movie before his eyelids get too heavy for him to keep them open. He doesn't bother trying to fight it, sleep will often help him during episodes and he knows Rocky is by his side so he's safe. He lets the sound of the movie and the warmth from Rocky lull him to sleep, hoping that when he wakes up he'll feel better.
Grace wakes up to end credits rolling across the laptop screen and Rocky silently clapping, something he does at the end of every movie because he's used to Eridian entertainment which is always live-action theatre. He takes a slow breath and that seems to alert Rocky that he's woken up. "Grace awake, question?" He asks, voice getting quieter as he continues. "Tics gone, question?"
Rocky whispering the question makes him laugh. "Rocky I told you the tics can't hear you."
Rocky releases a low tune. "Gone, question?" He asks again, tapping against the xenonite twice.
Grace sits up slowly, stretching as he does. The pain from the muscle in his neck has lessened a bit, more of an ache rather than the sharp stabbing pain it had been before, and his head doesn't immediately jerk when he turns it to look at Rocky. "Seems like it. But it might come and go with the pain in my neck."
Rocky seems happy at the answer, doing jazz hands. "Good good good."
He smiles back, doing jazz hands in return as his nose twitches softly. "Now we can do some normal stuff for the rest of the day."
Rocky's carapace dips down. "No, Grace need rest. We watch movie on Earth thinking machine."
"But Rocky-"
"No no no! Grace rest!"
Grace rolls his eyes. He knows Rocky worries about him so he supposes he'll let it slide this time. "Fine Mom."
"No understand, not Grace Mom." The seriousness in Rocky's voice makes him laugh. He's unable to reply to Rocky and that seems to make Rocky more determined. "Not Grace mom, statement!"