Chapter Text
Dudley threw a hairbrush at Harry. They were both squeezed into their tiny bedroom, trying to find the smartest shirts they owned for dinner, and Harry’s hair was as untidy as ever. Harry yelped as the brush hit his arm.
“What the hell?”
“Mum won’t let us out the door if she sees you like that.” Dudley said, pointing at Harry’s hair.
Harry rolled his eyes, but he did pick up the brush. “Don’t know why you care so much about going out. It’s just a meal.”
“Because,” Dudley said tersely, “This is our birthday dinner. It’s been a while since I had one of those.”
“We attend at least three feasts every year at school.”
“That’s different. It’s not a family thing. And it’s your birthday dinner too. I thought you'd be happy.”
Harry glared at him. “I’m just glad she’s combining them.” he said dully.
Dudley scowled. His parent’s past treatment of Harry was a tricky subject that he didn’t like to think about often, much less talk about. And he got that it wasn't easy to come back from as a family, but Harry’s constant dislike of any positive attention from Petunia was getting tiring. Going out for dinner wasn’t Dudley’s first idea when thinking of fun things to do for a birthday, but it was still a good way to celebrate. And they didn't do it very often anymore. Last year it had been a simple homemade cake, not a popular restaurant. The least Harry could do was act grateful.
But he supposed they were all playing at happy families a bit. If Harry was grating on Dudley, then Dudley must be annoying Harry just as much. And since he wasn't allowed to thump Harry for being a prat anymore, he supposed he'd just have to let it go.
He sighed and pulled a jumper on. “Don't be a dick. She’s been stressed lately and she’s doing something nice for us.”
They’d only been home for a week, but he’d noticed it almost immediately. At first he had wondered if it had been her new job – his mum had recently found a permanent position as a secretary with a large furniture company which meant better pay and stable hours. But she insisted that they were actually far easier to work at than anywhere the temp agency had sent her – she’d been overjoyed when the woman she’d been covering for had decided not to come back after her maternity leave. Still, it had felt like she hadn’t sat down for a moment since they came home. She was bustling about all the time, constantly sending letters off and even borrowing Hedwig from Harry on multiple occasions. Dudley couldn’t think of the last time she’d watched TV or listened to the radio without doing something else at the same time. She was clearly working on something and, from her constantly terse expression, it wasn't going as smoothly as she wanted it to. She was even making Dudley do his summer homework entirely on his own.
Harry grunted and dragged the brush across his scalp, wincing a little as he pulled at a knot.
“I’m not going to make a scene,” he muttered.”
“Good.” Dudley growled as he reached for the door, “Come on.”
Kumar’s was a new Indian restaurant just off the main street in Little Hangleton. It was a massively popular addition to the town center and even as Petunia was parking, Dudley could see through the windows that the place was packed.
“Good thing I made a reservation.” Petunia muttered as they approached the doors.
Dudley took a moment to look around the street before they headed in. He hadn't been in Little Hangleton since his parents’ divorce – they lived in Greater Hangleton now. It was weird seeing the signs for shops his mum had once dragged him along to as a kid. A brief flicker of unease washed over him. It all looked a bit wrong now. Harry prodded him in the back and he hurried inside, shaking the odd feeling away.
They were seated in a booth with plush red seats and a thick white tablecloth. Dudley ordered at random, not having any idea what the difference between the various dishes was or what to expect from the spice levels. The waitress – a girl who looked barely older than him – had smirked as he dithered over the menu.
Once they had ordered, Petunia reached into her handbag and pulled out two small items, offering one to each of the boys.
“I thought this might be a good time to give you these. Happy birthday, boys. Or should that be birthdays?”
Dudley had known what it would be the moment she reached into her bag. Last year, she'd promised him and Harry that they'd have house keys once they were thirteen and he'd been so excited he'd bought a keyring a whole year in advance. He’d even brought it along in anticipation. Dudley immediately pulled it out of his pocket. It was shaped like a snake biting its own tail. He'd gotten it in Diagon Alley, so it was enchanted to constantly slither around in a circle. Dudley turned the key over in his hand, savouring the feeling of holding it. This little piece of metal was as precious as a diamond to him. It gave him freedom and it let him get away from Harry’s constant moping. He offered the key to the brass snake, which promptly let go of its tail and slithered through the hole in the key’s head, then joined itself into a loop again. It was a bit snug; wizards tended to use old fashioned keys with larger eyes, but it did still fit. Dudley tugged at the key experimentally and the keyring automatically let go of it. He put it back on the loop and grinned.
“Thanks mum!”
Harry nudged Dudley painfully in the ribs and hissed, “Don’t use that in public. You need a muggle keyring.”
“Noone will notice.” Dudley grumbled. “And if they do I’ll say it's mechanical.”
“Most muggles aren’t as stupid as you, no matter what wizards say. ” Harry said sharply.
“Harry!” Petunia hissed, “No insults. Do not talk to Dudley like that. And stop talking about wizards and muggles. People might hear.”
Harry opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it. He slumped in his seat and folded his arms.
“Petunia, is that you? I don’t believe it.”
A woman at the table across the aisle had paused her discussion at the sound of Petunia's voice and looked around. She was square-jawed and pristinely presented in a powder blue blouse and skirt that were clearly made to match. She was sitting with what must be her family; a husband and two sons, all of whom looked vaguely familiar.
“I thought I recognised your voice. How are you? It's been such a while.”
Dudley felt like he should know who she was. He was certain he knew her, but he couldn't put his finger on it. For a moment, his mum looked like she was also having trouble placing the woman, but her eyes widened in recognition after only a second.
“Vanessa. I hadn't spotted you there.” she said lightly, “You're looking well.”
Vanessa. Still ringing a bell. Still not placing her. Dudley scanned the other people at her table a couple times. They all looked vaguely familiar, but hard to place – except for the younger of the boys who was, once he realised it, unmistakable. Dudley’s mouth fell open as he found himself staring at Piers Polkiss. His best friend from primary school had gained a few inches and a sharper face. But once Dudley had thought of the name, he was unmistakably Piers.
Piers’ mother – who must have hosted countless playdates he’d been to – smiled like a shark.
“We haven’t been in touch since… oh it must be when the boys’ started high school. It was such a shame that your Dudley couldn’t go to Smeltings in the end. Piers was gutted to lose his friend. Why was it that he was pulled out again?”
Ah. Straight to the point then. Dudley had spent a lot of time kicking his feet in the aisle of a shop while his mum and Mrs Polkiss exchanged gossip. He knew this dance well enough. Although there was a much more dangerous feeling to it when he was the subject of the discussion. He glanced at his mum – whose lips had puckered in disapproval – and then at Piers who was looking at Dudley with an inscrutable expression. Dudley shot him their usual cheeky smile. Piers did not return it. Great.
“Our situation changed,” Petunia said simply, “How is Piers finding Smeltings?”
“Oh both our boys are excelling there. One of the best schools there is.”
Piers’ older brother, Simon, grinned from the other side of the table.
“But I must say…” Mrs Polkiss continued and Petunia visibly stiffened in anticipation of the coming barbs, “The rumours about your… situation you called it? They can be quite nasty. It’s hard to tell fact from fiction sometimes. You know what they always say about…” Her eyes slowly flicked to Harry and back again, “Stonewall children.”
Harry glared at his glass of water. His cheeks were glowing. Dudley clenched his fists under the table. Somehow, he got the impression that Mrs Polkiss was lumping him in that group as well.
“Harry and Dudley don’t go to Stonewall.” Petunia said with a polite smile.
“Don’t they? I’d have thought, given you and Vernon’s… well… Don’t tell me they were expelled.” Her eyes glittered at the thought.
“We go to– erm– school in Scotland.” Dudley blurted. He had caught himself just before he said Hogwarts which would have sounded ridiculous, but now it probably sounded like he was lying. Piers’ muted expression cracked into a smirk. He certainly seemed to think so.
“Scotland?” he said with a sneer. “Come on Dud.”
“It’s a good place.” Petunia added carefully, “Small, you won’t have heard of it. My sister went there and she did very well.”
“I wasn't aware you had a sister.” Vanessa Polkiss adopted a simpering smile that made it clear she thought they were lying to save face. “What’s the name of this school? My cousin is looking for somewhere for her daughter.”
They were saved by the waitress. She marched right into the middle of the conversation and loudly asked. “Who’s having the vindaloo?”
While she set the plates down, Mrs Polkiss turned back to her own family and not so quietly muttered “Shame she has to lie like that. But I suppose with everything Patricia was saying…. I always thought there was something odd about that marriage. Gold digger that got what was coming I expect.”
“Dudley, how is your curry?” Petunia asked loudly.
Dudley looked down at his plate. Anger was coursing through him, but he wasn’t going to throw any punches here. This was meant to be a nice night. And his mum would never forgive him for ‘causing a scene.’ She didn’t really like physical violence and he suspected that getting up and decking the snotty woman might exceed her limit for ‘boys will be boys.”
The idea vaguely crossed his mind that his mum would have happily gossiped about someone else the same way, with him smirking along like Piers was. Maybe less so now, but a few years ago…
He shook the thought away and stabbed a piece of beef with his fork. He stuck it in his mouth and started to chew. It was good. He’d never had Indian food before; his father had always said it was disgusting, but Dudley didn’t agree. It was different for sure, and the spice was a bit strong for him, but he could get used to it. Actually the spice was very strong and it seemed to keep building. Dudley coughed and spluttered as the rising heat engulfed the back of his throat. It felt like he was on fire. He grabbed his glass of water and took a large gulp, but it only gave him a brief moment of relief before the burning came back even stronger.
Dudley saw Piers glance over at him and smirk. He must be bright red by now. He was hardly keeping it together. But he was not going to give the Polkisses the satisfaction of seeing him panic. Dudley took another bite and winced as the fire intensified. He couldn't keep his cool. Harry was smirking at him as well. He needed to duck away for a bit and let the spicy feeling fade.
“Need the loo.” Dudley muttered and he leapt up from the table. Only he wasn't looking where he was going. He immediately knocked right into the waitress who was carrying another order past them. She yelped and fell back, dumping a large plate of curry onto the head of Vanessa Polkiss.
Her shriek of rage brought the entire restaurant to a standstill.
“You idiotic boy! How dare you!” she roared.
Dudley did not shrink away. He was more than used to having adults yelling about his misbehaviour. Sure, he hadn't meant to get jalfrezi all over her powder blue blouse, but given how little respect she was currently inspiring in him he wasn’t inclined to correct her.
Mr Polkiss tried to wipe an orange glob off her shoulder with a napkin, but it left a sizable smear behind. He dabbed at her front and she batted his hand away in favour of standing up to tower over Dudley. In reality, she only had a couple of inches on him and her curry splattered image did not make it easy to take her seriously.
“I always knew you were a troublemaker. I always said you were dragging Piers down with you.” Mrs Polkiss bellowed.
The waitress stepped in between them. “Miss, it was an accident. He just bumped into me–”
“I know that boy well enough to know it wasn’t.” she snarled. “And you should have a better hold on your tray. Unless you dropped it on purpose? Because we come here a lot and your attitude is always horrible. We won't be coming back after tonight.”
The waitress also did not shrink under her gaze. In fact, she even smiled a little. “I’m sorry you feel that way. But I need you to calm down. Let me get a cloth and I’ll clean this up.”
“I want these people thrown out.” Mrs Polkiss shrieked, pointing at Dudley’s table. “Her son all but attacked me.”
“It was an accident, Vanessa.” Petunia said icily.
Vanessa ranted and raved until the manager came out, but even he couldn’t calm her, or an increasingly irate Mr Polkiss down. He said that he wasn’t going to kick anyone out over an accident and offered the Polkisses free dessert, but it wasn’t enough for them. Eventually Mrs Polkiss, having wiped most of the curry off of her shirt, stalked out of the restaurant herself.
Mr Polkiss and Simon followed her quickly, but Piers paused in front of Dudley. They glared at each other. Dudley could barely believe how badly this reunion had gone. Piers seemed perfectly at ease with it though.
“You’ll pay for that.” He said, wrinkling his nose in apparent disgust.
Dudley scoffed and Piers walked out of the door. Dudley watched him go, his heart sinking a little. It had never struck him just how much his social standing would have changed in the muggle world. Their living situation was very obviously different and some of the kids at Hogwarts made fun of him for it, but he hadn’t thought about what that meant in the eyes of his old friends. Clearly, for Piers, it meant that he was now at the bottom of the pecking order. Images of Draco Malfoy sneering at his threadbare jumpers rose up in his mind. He shuddered. Piers probably wasn’t that bad. Was he?
He was being dramatic. They were hard things to compare, being from completely different worlds. Dudley sat back down in his seat. The fire of the spice had died down in his mouth and he looked back at his plate. Now he wasn’t panicking about it, he realised he quite liked the flavour, although he might get something milder next time.
The manager had apologised profusely for the altercation and given them free desert. By the time they got home they barely spoke about it except for a small comment from Petunia about how embarrassing it must have been for the Polkisses.
“I mean really. It’s like she’d forgotten how to gossip. We were never that gauche when I was in the circle. And assuming you’d been expelled. That’s hardly a one up when we all know about her son. I wouldn’t have dared bring it up.”
She flicked on the kettle while Dudley and Harry flopped on the sofa. Then she jumped back with a small yelp. A small, bark-coloured owl with disturbingly prominent eyes had apparently been waiting for them outside the window and started tapping at the glass with its beak the moment it saw her. Dudley could see a letter attached to its leg and assumed it must be the Hogwarts book lists. But when his mum let the bird in it was obvious the the letter was lacking the big wax seal that always came on them. That wouldn’t have made sense anyway, they weren’t expecting the book lists for another few weeks.
Petunia clucked at the smudge the bird had left on the window, then untied the letter and flipped it open. The owl didn’t wait for a reply; it immediately hopped out of the window and flew away.
“What’s that, mum?” Dudley asked. Petunia didn't reply. Her eyes flicked across the page and as she took the contents in a satisfied grin spread across her face. She looked in the envelope again and found a second page stuffed in it – this she read just as quickly and let out a satisfied humph as she finished it.
“Mum?”
She looked up. “It's from a woman who writes a column for the wizard newspaper about our world. She heard about my complaint to the school and wants to do an article about it. I gave her a written interview of sorts.
“What complaint?” Dudley asked with a sinking feeling.
“I told you I lodged one with Hogwarts. You know I'm not happy with the way that school communicates with us parents. Or rather the way it doesn’t. Your first year I might have forgiven, but last year? Your life was being openly threatened and I only found out about it when you were on your way home.” Petunia pursed her lips at the thought. “I can’t let it go on like that. Except, that Professor Dumbledore seemed rather dismissive of the whole thing. So I went elsewhere. Here, she sent me a copy of the article. Apparently it's going in tomorrow's edition of… What's it called? The Daily Prophet.”
She handed Dudley the second sheet of parchment. He took it and Harry moved to read it over his shoulder.
The Muggle World Today
Are muggle parents “Shut out of our children’s lives”
The International Statue of Secrecy is one of wizardkind's most closely followed laws. It is for this reason that our own ministry of magic has several departments dedicated to enforcing the statute and ensuring the muggle population is kept unaware of magic’s existence.
However, there are a few exceptions where muggles are let in on the secret of wizarding society; chief among them is the parents of muggleborns. Today, readers, I wish to discuss the many struggles faced by these particular muggles on the occasions they have to interact with our world, and particularly the schooling system used by wizarding Britain.
It is a poorly kept secret that during the last school year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry several students of muggle parentage were attacked by an unnamed assailant. While the attacks have supposedly been stopped, one muggle parent has lodged a formal complaint about the school’s handling of the attacks.
“I was not informed of the danger my son was in.” Petunia Evans told me, “I only found out about these petrifications when I received a letter telling me that my son and nephew were to be given awards for stopping them. It’s a disgrace. My son didn’t tell me what was happening because he didn’t want me to worry, but I believe the school has a duty of care and ought to have informed all parents the instant the first child was attacked. I should have had the choice to remove my son from a clear danger, but I firmly believe that had my son not been given that award I wouldn't have been told about them at all.”
Petunia is somewhat unique among muggle parents, in that she already had knowledge of the wizarding world prior to her son, Dudley Evans’s, enrollment at Hogwarts. This is in fact due to her also being the sister of the witch and famous war hero Lily Potter (nee Evans) and the aunt and guardian of Harry Potter – better known as the boy who lived.
“My sister, Lily, was a witch. I didn’t pay much attention to the wizarding world as we were growing up, but I learned enough to know how to send letters and what the subjects they teach at school actually are. This was exceptionally lucky for me, because at no point was any of that explained to me by the representative of the school who came to tell us my son was eligible. I can only imagine how hard other parents without this prior experience find it to even contact their children at Hogwarts, let alone the faculty. We are expected to pack our children off to a school we had never heard of before and ignore any concerns we have simply because, as muggles, we don’t understand. But we are not given the chance to. We have been shut out of our children’s lives and are expected to be fine with that.”
Ms Evans has written to both Hogwarts and the Ministry of Magic with her complaints, but neither body has said it will take any action. Eoin Lynch – A spokesperson from the Department of Muggle Relations – had this to say in response;
“It is to be expected that some mixed muggle/wizard families will have trouble bridging the gap between the muggle and wizarding society. As regrettable as Mrs Evan’s experience has been, we have not heard of any other complaints of this nature from muggle parents of Hogwarts students. It can be assumed that other muggle parents are content with the current arrangements.”
But the obvious question is whether there are more muggle parents with similar concerns who simply are not able to voice them. Surely, we wizards have a duty to the few muggles who know of our society. Would any wizard parent be content with this lack of transparency? And why should muggle parents be any different?
“She’s cut my more scathing remarks,” Petunia said sniffily, “And she’s gotten Dudley’s surname wrong, but I suppose that’s on me for not clarifying it. It’s a good start.”
“A start!” Harry said, dumbfounded, “What are you doing writing to the wizard newspaper?”
“She wrote to me, and I thought it might give my point a bit of weight – having it published.”
“But why?”
“Because, Harry, that school is in dire need of change. Children were being attacked for an entire year and they only thought to close the place down when they thought a death had already happened.”
“But–” Harry’s jaw hung open as he tried to find the right words for what he was thinking.
Dudley, who had needed a bit longer to read the entire article and had only just reached the end, found them first.
“Mum, people are going to see this.”
“Exactly.” His mother frowned at him.
“No, I mean. People at school. Hogwarts is fine. I like it. But with this out there, people will think I don’t want to be there. They won’t like that.”
Petunia sighed and pursed her lips. “I don’t want to make things difficult, Duddy. But this is bigger than that. Besides, I’m sure your classmates have other things they’d rather be gossiping about.”
Dudley highly doubted that. He could just imagine Draco Malfoy’s face when he heard about this article. He had only just gained a tiny bit of respect from his fellow Slytherins after last year. And as much as he told himself he didn’t particularly care what they all thought, he didn’t want to have a bigger target on his back than was necessary.
But he supposed that there wasn’t much he could do about it. It looked like the article was being published no matter what. And maybe it wouldn’t get noticed by too many people. There was more than a month before school started again. Any attention it got would probably die down by then. It was probably fine.
And when he thought about it, she did have a point. It was weird that the school had stayed open for so long last year. He was glad it had, otherwise it would probably have closed for good, but things had so nearly turned out horribly. And he had to admit that even the pro-muggle wizards he had met seemed very out of touch with muggles. Hell, the fact that he insisted on using pens and jotters instead of quills and parchment was still scandalous to most. There were a couple muggle things that filtered through, but for the most part the wizarding world was stuck in the 1920’s. It probably was really confusing for muggle parents. It was certainly confusing for muggleborns like him.
And if his mum was poking around it would definitely annoy Draco Malfoy, which might just be worth the inconvenience.
“I guess you’re right.” He muttered, handing back the article.
Harry was still scowling. “Wizards just do things differently.” He said, “It’s a different culture.”
“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t need change.” Petunia snapped. “I’m not changing my mind on this, Harry.”
She stalked back over to the kettle. Dudley shot his cousin a questioning look. Harry seemed to be more worried about this than he was and Dudley was the one who actually had to live with all the blood-purists.
Harry dropped his gaze and muttered, “Hogwarts is my world. Not hers.”
It was Dudley's turn to scowl. He didn't really know what Harry meant by that. And it was a little galling for Harry to claim the wizarding world as his when Dudley was also magical. Besides, hadn't that been the core of his mum's argument anyway; that she came from a different world to the wizards in charge.
Dudley shook his head. It wasn't worth going into. The article probably wouldn't come to anything anyway.