Chapter Text
Jen came home. She was not feeling what she acually does, like it was all a dream. A nightmare. Suddenly, her breath started shaking unevenly and her eyes immidiately filled with tears. She tried to stopped, for Charlie and Henry not to see her in that state, but she couldn’t control herself. She couldn’t bare with the thought that its the end. Just like that. And Judy was gone. Forever. And what’s even worse, she was still barely alive, but slowly dying somewere hundred kilometers from here. All alone. Jen felt like her heart broke into thousand pieces when she thought of that. She was the last person on the world to deserve it. She was the fucking kindest person on this dumbass planet and was literally a ray of sunshine. Jen couldn’t handle the thought that Judy felt so lonely thought most of her life and now she is dying alone. Jen knew that it was Judy’s choice cause she didn’t want Jen to see her in such pain, which could remind Jen’s of her mother’s death.
Fuuuuuuck! - she screamed out loud, as loud as she could, and she burst into histery for good. Her painful crying filled the whole house. She layed down on the floor and couldn’t get up. She ran out of fucking energy. For good. She felt like she could stay like here forever. Cause how the fucking hell is she supposed to move on? The purest, kindest soul she had ever met who completely changed her live forever will be soon gone. Just like that. And whats worse, she will die in pain. Why this fucking world is so cruel and unfair? Why it hurt her so much?
The stairs creaked. Both Charlie and Henry run downstairs. They froze for a second.
- Where is Judy? - Charlie asked slowly, scared to get the response.
Jen stopped crying. The silence spoke more than thousand worlds.
Henry started crying loud, not ashamed to show his feelings. He ran to his mom and hugged her as tight as he could. Charlie stayed. Tears started slowly going down his face. He tried to hide it, but he couldnt. Cold feeling filled his body, which was trying to push this infromation away.
Jen waved her wet and dirty from mascara hand to come to her and Henry. Soon, three Hardings were tight together, hugging eatch other as close as they can. They sit like that for 5 minutes? Or 50? Time felt different.
Next morning Jen woke up on sofa. Still in a shirt, jeans and trainers, pillows dirty from her baked makeup she didn’t fucking care to took off yesterday. A bell rang on the door.
She barely managed to get up and powlokla to the front door.
It was Steve. She hated him with hercall fucking heart, but right now, it all came away. It didn’t matter anymore. She was too exausted to feel hatred towards anyone. .
- I wanted to speak to Jude about something. Oh… - thats all he managed to say after he saw her. He immidiately figured out the whole scenario that happened - No. No.
Jen wanted to hug him but he resisted. He just stand in the door, but his face expression was saying everything. Like his world fell into thousand pieces. Jen never thought that emotions can be that visible, especially on Steve. It was one of the saddest view she had ever seen.
He turned around and left the house without a word.
* *
Steve sat on a patio alone. There was a joint, four bottles of vodka and a kitchen knife on the table in front of him. He looked with his empty eyes on his stomach. It was covered with regular, thin cuts which were covered in blood running down on his ribs. He grab another sip of alcohol and grab the joint from the table.
Once the drugs stopped impacting on him that much, he knew what he had to do. Still, a bit stoned, but aware of what he was doing, he came to the police station and went straight to the office.
- Im here to turn myself in - he said to detective Perez - I’m the one responsible for Ted Harding’s death.
- So you were the one driving?
- Yes. Arrest me, i don’t care, but it’s not Judy’s fault. It’s all on me.
* *
Mexico, a month later
Last days were really tiring to Judy. She didn’t have energy for getting out of bed and felt exausted just after making quick and easy breakfast. All she ate she was immidiately throwing up. So thats how dying looks like. Your body slowly gives up.
She was staying at villa she and Jen rented. But Jen came home a month ago. Judy didn’t want her best friend to see her pain, to see her so weak. Slowly dying.
She just came back from the grocery shop, feeling totally out of power.
- Just a second - she murmured to herself, clinging to the kichen counter, taking a deep breath and smiling through pain. Her eyes stopped on the grocery bag and the item which was deep down under all the food, which she didn’t know why she even bought. Just for a tiny moment of hope, then dissapoinment and inside, unbearable pain.
But she couldn’t push away the thought, the tiny light of hope. She was feeling the same as she felt before finding out she was pregnant.
She took out the pregnancy test with shaky hands and squezzed it in her hands tightly.
There is no biological way you might be pregnant. You will soon start menopauze . And you have cancer. - she scold herself. Why was she giving herself more pain? You stupid, stupid!
Still, she came to the bathroom, made a test, placed it on the sink counter with shaky hands and set a timer. She wished Jen was here. But no, its better for Jen not to see Judy in that state. She is now home with the boys, and she still has the rest of her live to enjoy. Judy smiled on the thought of Jen probably eating a lunch with boys while laughing and quarreling.
Mabye its bad karma coming back to her after killing Ted?
Though the girls loved each other truly, Judy was convinced that Jen would have been happier if Judy had never came into her life.
The timer beeped.
Fuck, its this moment.
Judy looked at the test, knowing deep down that she will see one line.
She saw fucking two.
She screamed.
No, this must be fake, She though it, extinguishing her joy and euphoria inside. It’s impossible. Why are you doing this to yourself?
Still, the joy was stronger than fear. She placed her hand on her lower abdonmen and smiled.
She felt nothing but a light of hope fullfiling her body. Is it possible that universe once didn’t turn around her?