Work Text:
The light of the street lamps scattered across the campus grounds filtered through the crack in the curtains. Zenitsu glared at the orange line they cast across Tanjirou’s desk. If the street lights were peeking in, so would the sun in the morning. He should get up and draw the curtains fully closed, but he was just too comfortable to want to move.
Tanjirou’s skin was warm and soft against Zenitsu’s, his chest moving with every slow breath. Calloused fingers were tracing mindless patterns across Zenitsu’s hip, no reason to their movement except for connection.
They should be sleeping. Even if Zenitsu closed the curtain, Tanjirou would be up at the crack of dawn. Zenitsu was convinced that Tanjirou would wake up at six in the morning sharp even if he was in a fully blacked-out room with no outside sounds leaking in. And while Zenitsu was fully capable of turning over and going back to sleep even if the entire room was flooded with sunlight, he had a lecture the next morning that came with mandatory attendance.
So really, sleep would’ve been the reasonable choice. It was already gone midnight. And yet, Zenitsu held onto his consciousness with an iron grip. Nothing about tonight was special. Tanjirou’s warmth beneath him, the sensation of his fingers, the sound of his breathing. Zenitsu wasn’t sure he knew how to fall asleep without those anymore, because he’d fallen asleep to it every night in the past four months. It was nothing but a regular Tuesday night in Zenitsu’s books. And just like any regular Tuesday night, Zenitsu didn’t want it to end.
He wasn’t entirely sure if Tanjirou was still awake. That his hands kept moving didn’t have to mean anything.
Tanjirou wasn’t the fidgeting type. At least Zenitsu had never known him to be. If anything, Tanjirou was the kind of person who could sit in a perfect seiza without moving an inch for an hour, something Zenitsu could only dream of. For him, ten minutes were already a challenge. And yet, ever since they started dating, Tanjirou had developed a fascination for touching Zenitsu.
No, not like that.
Well, not only like that.
When they held hands, Tanjirou’s thumb would stroke across the back of Zenitsu’s hand. When they sat next to each other in the cafeteria, Tanjirou’s knee would brush against Zenitsu’s while they ate and his fingers would dance across Zenitsu’s arm when they were done. More than once, Zenitsu had woken up in the middle of the night, startled awake by a student further down the hall returning from the bathroom, just to find Tanjirou dead asleep and still stroking Zenitsu’s back.
The pillowcase rustled faintly as Tanjirou tilted his head down so he could press a kiss to the top of Zenitsu’s head. Ah, so he was still awake. Zenitsu was being a terrible influence on Tanjirou’s oh so healthy daily routine, and as guilty as he felt for that, he couldn’t find it in himself to do anything about it.
“Tanjirou?” he whispered into the silence.
Tanjirou’s arms around him tightened, pulling him just a little bit closer.
“Hm?” The hum of his voice was thick with sleep. Awake, yes, but only barely.
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
“Huh?”
“Would you still love me if I was a worm,” Zenitsu repeated, in case Tanjirou hadn’t heard him the first time.
“Well... probably?” Tanjirou’s response came slowly, as if he was walking on uneven terrain and trying to find his balance. “Worms are quite useful. They break down biological waste and help bring nutrients into the soil.”
Zenitsu scowled and slapped Tanjirou’s chest. It was only a very light slap, but against Tanjirou’s bare skin, it still produced a smacking sound much louder than Zenitsu had intended. Tanjirou however didn’t even flinch, so it must not have hurt.
“I didn’t ask if you think worms are useful,” Zenitsu pouted.
“But you asked if I love worms?”
Zenitsu lifted himself onto his elbows so he could glare down at Tanjirou. “I asked if you would love me if I was a worm. Me, specifically.”
Tanjirou looked back up at him with wide, open eyes. “If you were a worm, I don’t think I would even know you. I don’t know any worms.”
“Yes you would know me,” Zenitsu clarified, and seeing Tanjirou open his mouth, he hurried to add. “And you would know that it was me, just as a worm.”
Tanjirou still sounded confused. “Why would you be a worm?”
“I was reborn as a worm.”
“Why would you be reborn as a worm?”
Zenitsu rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, karmic punishment? For being useless and not achieving anything in my life?”
For some reason, that seemed to please Tanjirou. He huffed and smiled, reaching up a hand to brush back the strands of hair that had fallen into Zenitsu’s face.
“Well, if that’s what would lead to you being reborn as a worm, then there’s no need for me to think about it because it won’t happen. You’re not useless. You’re very capable and you’ll achieve great things.”
Despite himself, Zenitsu blushed. Tanjirou had already been dangerous as his friend. Now as his boyfriend, he was downright deadly.
“Don’t try to dodge the question,” Zenitsu accused, poking Tanjirou’s chest for emphasis. “It’s not about whether or not it can happen. Assume it did. I get reborn as a worm and you know it’s me, would you still love me?”
Tanjirou’s brow furrowed. “But if you were reborn as a worm, you wouldn’t be you anymore?”
He looked troubled. As if, despite thinking hard, he was unable to even understand the exam problem he was given, let alone know the answer. With a weary sigh, Zenitsu shook his head and lowered himself back down onto Tanjirou’s chest.
“Forget I asked. I should’ve known better,” he muttered, nestling his chin against Tanjirou’s smooth skin.
Zenitsu didn’t really care about the answer. All he’d wanted was for them to not sleep just yet. He wasn’t even entirely sure where that question had come from in the first place. It had been weeks since he’d last seen a post about it, but now it had just popped into his head.
“I’m sorry,” Tanjirou apologised, sounding genuinely contrite.
His fingers stroked along Zenitsu’s sides. The caress meant to appease him was so feather-light that it left Zenitsu wondering if Tanjirou worried his touch was not welcome. Zenitsu’s chest immediately seized with guilt. Tanjirou didn’t have to sound as if he had disappointed Zenitsu. It hadn’t been that deep, there was no reason for him to feel bad.
“No, really, it’s okay,” Zenitsu clarified, looking up to catch Tanjirou’s gaze. He made sure to put a smile into his voice as he continued, “I’m not upset or anything. It was just a silly question, it doesn’t matter.”
Tanjirou studied him with a conflicted look, as if he was about to protest, so Zenitsu pressed a kiss to his chin, then stretched himself up so he could press a kiss to Tanjirou’s lips too. That seemed to placate Tanjirou, as his arms tightened to keep Zenitsu in place and kiss him some more. The kisses were lazy, sloppy things, sluggish with tiredness. Zenitsu savoured every single one of them.
When they eventually parted, Zenitsu settled back onto his spot below Tanjirou’s collarbone—right where he could hear the steady metronome of Tanjirou’s heartbeat. He didn’t dare check his phone, but he was sure they were nearing one o’clock. Tanjirou’s fingers had resumed their task of tracing along the paths of unseen patterns on Zenitsu’s lower back, steadily lulling him to sleep.
To his surprise, it was Tanjirou’s voice that broke through the quiet this time.
“Do you believe in that? Being reborn?”
As unexpected as the question was, Zenitsu didn’t even have to think about it. He’d read more than enough transmigration light novels to have long since made up his mind about the topic of reincarnation.
“I want to, so yes,” he answered, tilting his head back to grin up at Tanjirou. “I mean, wouldn’t that be nice? To get a second chance if I mess something up in this life? And who knows, I might get reborn as a prince in some other world and have a bunch of cute girls vie for my hand in marriage.”
When Tanjirou scowled, Zenitsu laughed.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I wouldn’t want anyone else’s hand but yours,” he cooed and caught one of Tanjirou’s hands in his. Lifting it to his lips, he pressed a kiss against its back in his best impression of a gallant prince.
It was a gesture so exaggerated, he expected Tanjirou to simply frown harder or to blush, but Tanjirou did neither. Instead, his eyes widened a tiny fraction and he inhaled sharply, watching Zenitsu with a stunned expression. Though actually yes, there was the faintest dusting of colour visible on his cheeks thanks to the light slipping through the crack in the curtains. So at least Zenitsu had been correct on the blushing front.
“Wait, that wasn’t— I didn’t— that was no—” Zenitsu sat up abruptly as his pulse spiked. He had to be able to properly look at Tanjirou for this, even if his cheeks were burning.
“I know, I know!” Tanjirou mirrored Zenitsu, sitting up himself. “I know. It was a joke. I get it. It just. Made me think about it.”
“It wasn’t a joke,” Zenitsu protested immediately, his mouth faster than his brain could ever hope to be. He winced, hurrying to perform damage control. “I mean, I wasn’t being serious, I wasn’t proposing or anything!” He explained, gesturing wildly in between them, but as he watched Tanjirou’s expression shift through hope and understanding and defeat and adoration, neither lasting longer than a blink of an eye, Zenitsu slowly deflated. “But also, I do,” he admitted, quietly. “Kinda. Mean it.”
They hadn’t even been together for half a year, and yet Zenitsu couldn’t imagine marrying anyone but Tanjirou. Deep down, he just knew. This was it. Tanjirou was it.
Warm, calloused hands came forward to encase his, prompting Zenitsu to look up.
“Me too.” Tanjirou’s voice was firm, but he looked just as out of his depth as Zenitsu felt, cheeks flaming.
Zenitsu tried for a laugh to lighten the suddenly charged atmosphere, but the sound came out so creaky that it only served to make the entire situation feel even more awkward. He cleared his throat. “Good. That’s good. I think.”
Tanjirou hummed in agreement. He still hadn’t let go of Zenitsu’s hands.
After a beat of silence, Tanjirou inhaled. “So, what does that mean?”
Zenitsu swallowed. “Do you want it to mean something?”
Tanjirou held his gaze for a moment before he slowly nodded. “I do.”
Zenitsu swore he could feel his heart beating in his throat, hear the blood rushing in his ears. Tanjirou was looking at him with such an open expression, both unwavering determination and questioning uncertainty on his face.
As if there could ever be any different answer from Zenitsu than—
“Me too.”
Tanjirou exhaled, so deeply that Zenitsu found himself wondering if he’d been holding his breath this whole time. His entire body deflated with relief, and Zenitsu hadn’t even begun to process what just happened when Tanjirou lifted his head. He wore a smile so full of unbridled joy that it drove all thoughts straight out of Zenitsu’s head.
Before he knew what he was doing, he’d leant forward and kissed Tanjirou.
Tanjirou made a little sound of surprise against his lips, but quickly melted into the kiss. The smile on his lips was a little bit of a hindrance, but Zenitsu could hardly bring himself to mind. His entire body was buzzing with a dumbfounded kind of wonder.
“I’ll have to get you a ring,” Tanjirou mused when they eventually settled back down onto the mattress.
Zenitsu choked on his own spit, resulting in a small coughing fit. Being the good boyfriend—fiancé?? surely not— that he was, Tanjirou dutifully rubbed Zenitsu’s back until his breathing was back under control.
“What are you talking about? It’s not like we’re engaged,” he croaked out, voice still raspy.
Tanjirou tilted his head to the side, eyebrows raised. “We’re not? But you proposed?”
“I did not!” Zenitsu protested, scandalised. “I specifically said that wasn’t a proposal!”
“You asked me a question, I responded with ‘I do’, and now we’re talking about buying rings. I think that counts as a proposal,” Tanjirou reasoned with a deadpan serious expression.
To Zenitsu’s chagrin, Tanjirou’s logic was airtight. All he had to offer as a counter-argument was an unintelligible grumble and a complaint that Tanjirou was impossible.
Zenitsu hadn’t meant to propose. He had a tendency of rushing into things, and even though they’d technically been living together for over two years, their relationship was still new. Too new to reasonably be considering marriage.
And yet.
He had been serious about not wanting anyone else’s hand but Tanjirou’s. He had been the one that offered Tanjirou the option for it to mean something. And he’d been aware that that something was the promise that one day, they would get married to each other. One day being the operative part there. However... wasn’t that exactly what being engaged meant? A promise to get married, without necessarily attaching any kind of timeline to it?
“Is that a no to the ring?”
Tanjirou’s voice pulled Zenitsu back into reality, right before he could come to his final judgement call about whether or not he had just proposed by accident. He studied his hand that was resting against Tanjirou’s shoulder and tried to imagine it with a golden band around his ring finger, gleaming faintly in the dark.
“No,” Zenitsu muttered. “It’s not.”
His insides were a happily bubbling stew, making him think of the curry he’d cooked with Tanjirou during their training camp.
As reluctant as his answer had been, Tanjirou saw straight through him. Of course he’d understand that Zenitsu was in fact very much looking forward to a ring.
“You’ll get me a ring too, right?” he asked, pulling Zenitsu closer. He was radiating nothing but excitement as he kissed the top of Zenitsu’s head affectionately. In fact, Zenitsu wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Tanjirou already had a handful of jewellers on speed-dial.
“Of course,” Zenitsu huffed. That wasn’t even a question.
He very much liked Tanjirou. He just hadn’t expected to put a ring on him this fast.
Though then again... it didn’t feel fast. Intellectually he knew it was, yes. But emotionally... Zenitsu had never put much stock into the instant familiarity he felt with Tanjirou. They just clicked. It happened. For all their differences, they were aligned, and fit together like puzzle pieces. That’s all it was.
But now there was this inexplicable sensation, that hit Zenitsu like a déjà vu. An unreasonable sense that this was not the first time he’d fallen in love with Tanjirou, and the inexplicable certainty that it wouldn’t be the last time either.
I must be so tired my brain is already glitching.
Zenitsu shook his head slightly to get rid of the weird feeling. Not that it would be a bad thing if he got to fall in love with Tanjirou across different lifetimes. He had been serious about choosing to believe in reincarnations, and now that he had Tanjirou in this life, he greedily wanted him in any life he would get.
But he didn’t like the sensation of déjà vus. It always left him a little disoriented to feel as if multiple strands of reality were layering on top of each other.
It must’ve been a sign he really had to sleep. He’d already gotten engaged on a random Tuesday night because he’d asked Tanjirou a stupid internet meme. If he pushed himself any further, who knows what would happen. They might just start filling out adoption papers for half an orphanage at this rate. Himejima-san was just one phone call away, after all.
Tanjirou’s yawn was timed so well, that Zenitsu laughed softly, leaving Tanjirou understandably confused. Instead of explaining, he simply shook his head and snuggled closer to Tanjirou. He exhaled as his body relaxed against Tanjirou’s reassuring warmth.
He was already half-way to sleep, when he heard Tanjirou’s voice, so low it was just a whisper. His breath brushed against his hair as he spoke, like a breeze in summer rustling the leaves on a tree.
“To be honest, I never thought about reincarnation and previous lives and such before. But if it means I get more time with you, then I want to believe in it as well.”
Zenitsu wanted to reply something, to say how he felt the same, but his eyelids were too heavy to open them again, and his mouth refused to move.
“And if you get reborn as a worm, I’ll just have to be reborn as a worm as well, and then I’ll love you as a worm.”
If Tanjirou said anything after that, Zenitsu didn’t catch it anymore as sleep claimed him.