Work Text:
Somehow, it all started with Cliff Marlow. Of all people to send Shane into a spiral unlike any other, it was Ilya’s best friend.
The couple had been back from their miniature honeymoon at the cottage for all of a week before Cliff called Ilya and all but begged that he have Shane and Ilya go to dinner with him. Which of course, Shane had been happy to do. Cliff was like the brother Ilya had always wanted, and he was excited to start making friends with Ilya’s friends after so long of not being able to.
“I’m so glad we’re finally able to get dinner. I know shit’s been crazy with getting outted and then a shotgun wedding—”
“I wouldn’t say it was a shotgun wedding,” Shane interrupted with a laugh. “We were always sorta planning on getting married in the summer.”
Ilya looked between the two, confusion evident on his face. “What is shotgun wedding?”
Shane rolled his eyes.
“It’s when a couple gets married really fast. Mostly because they’re getting pressure due to the woman being pregnant.”
“Oh,” Ilya said, raising his eyebrows and looked back at Marlow with a goofy grin on his face. “Yes, is true, I am first man to get another cis man pregnant. Shane is due in December.”
Shane let out a huff of a laugh as Marlow threw his head back and guffawed loudly in the middle of the restaurant.
“I am not,” Shane hissed, slapping Ilya lightly in the arm.
“Ah yes, is certainly something you need to what is word, vehemently deny,” Ilya teased, the corners of his lips curled up in a soft smile. He looked back at Marlow, his arm wrapping around Ilya’s shoulders. “I am very happy. I’m sorry I could not tell you the real reason I was leaving Boston for Ottawa.”
“Fuck man, it’s really fucking cute. Who would have thought Ilya Fuckin’ Rozanov would move to Ottawa for love?”
“I did,” Shane said, a goofy smile on his face as he leaned over and gave Ilya a soft kiss. This was going well, Marlow was handling the news far better than a lot of people had. Sure, he had been at the wedding and he had time to sit with it. But it was still one of those things where everyone in their lives had a big reaction upon finding out about their relationship, even months later. As was proven by the Voyageurs who were still acting like Shane had turned into the ultimate villain. The thought of moving to Ottawa was getting stronger as every day passed.
Cliff grinned as his eyes flicked between the two of them for a moment.
“You know, never in a million years did I imagine you two dating,” he finally said. And there it was. Like it always was. Shane had heard it all. Why Ilya? Why not someone nice? Were there no nice guys in Montreal? Did it really fucking have to be Ilya goddamn Rozanov? It was always the same and it was exhausting. Every time he had to explain that he loved Ilya Rozanov so wholly, so irrevocably, that the idea of not being in Ilya’s orbit made it hard for Shane to even so much as breathe.
He steeled himself for the rest of whatever the fuck insulting thing Marlow had to say about Shane’s husband.
But Marlow’s eyes went soft as he looked at Ilya for a moment.
“I was scared, you know. That you were never going to find someone who could break down all of your walls. That whoever you ended up with, wouldn’t see you. And I was shocked, yeah, when I saw it was Shane. But then it just made so much sense. I mean if anyone is going to break down your fucking titanium walls, it was of course going to be Shane fuckin’ Hollander. I’m honestly mad that I didn’t see it myself.”
Ilya gave him a small smile, his arm around Shane’s shoulders tightened and he said something, something nice and reassuring but Shane couldn’t hear it. Not when he was stuck looking at fucking Cliff Marlow who seemed to have got it instantly. He saw what Shane saw when he looked at Ilya, maybe not in a romantic light, but he saw past all the jagged edges and walls and he saw the real Ilya who was kind and perfect and wonderful and he loved him too.
Shane hadn’t really seen that before. His friends sure as hell hadn’t reacted like this to Shane and Ilya’s relationship, neither did his team. Hell, even his parents had reacted negatively at first. But now Cliff Marlow of all people he was different. The entire dinner had been different, really.
Marlow had hugged Shane the moment he saw him. Said “congratulations brother” in his ear as he practically picked him up in a bear hug, cracking his back as he did. He included Shane in the conversation, told Shane stories about a rookie Ilya, sides that Shane hadn’t gotten to see because they were so young and dumb at the time. He treated Shane less like his friend’s partner, and more like a new friend.
The difference was staggering.
The only ones of Shane’s friends who treated Ilya like a friend or family from the get go had been Jackie and Rose. And Rose was a weird one if Shane was being honest. Ilya and Rose had quickly devolved into a funny brother and sister type role where they both seemed to tease Shane to the ends of the earth. He almost regretted having them meet at all if it hadn’t been for how utterly excited Ilya was about one of Shane’s friends welcoming him with open arms.
Jackie had been the same way. She had taken one look at Ilya and decided they were best friends, that Hayden could have Shane because she had her new drinking buddy. She had even tried to bully Ilya into joining the WAGS chat as Lily before they had come out.
But otherwise, Hayden and JJ still looked at Ilya as if he were an alien from another planet. They treated him as Shane’s partner but not as a friend.
Thankfully his parents had warmed up to Ilya rather quickly. But Shane had a feeling it was more because they saw how terrified Ilya was, could see that he was a child of abuse and carried his trauma like a shield.
“You know, I had hoped,” Cliff said, stirring Shane from his thoughts. “When I saw how much Montreal Jane made you smile, I had hoped that she was the one. That she was going to break all of your walls and be your person. I guess I was right.”
“Yeah, you were. I am sorry I did not tell you,” Ilya told him, his arm like a warm blanket around Shane’s shoulders.
“Nah, don’t stress about it Brother. Between Russia and the fact that you were dating your rival—I don’t blame you one bit. That would have been scary I think.”
“It was. Then my father died and I started to realize that I did not need to go back to Russia. I did not have any connections left,” Ilya said.
“Man, let me tell you, when the team heard you guys were together we were thrilled. First because we realized you didn’t leave Boston because you hated us—”
“We get dinner every time I am in Boston! Connors, Hammersmith, and St. Simon see me every time! How could I hate my Bears! I am Russian! Of course I will always love Bears.”
“We know that. But you know, there was still that fear that we weren’t enough. But anyway, after that, everyone was just happy for you. We all knew how down bad you were for Montreal Jane and well, we were just glad you found someone who loved you as much as we do.”
Shane smiled softly, as he let the conversation wash over him but his heart hurt. Why couldn’t this have been everyone’s reaction? Why couldn’t everyone see just how utterly special Ilya Rozanov truly was?
It happened again the first time Ilya took him to one of Bood’s cookouts. Everyone had been more than happy to see him. They asked if he was a hugger, respected him when he declined. Bood had personally made sure there was ginger ale in the fridge, another guy had brought ginger beer just in case Shane liked it.
There were even food options that were specifically there because Ilya had told them he had a thing about food and texture after Bood asked for Shane’s food preferences. He had been pulled into conversations with team members, been added to at least three different group chats.
Hell, Wyatt Hayes had spent thirty minutes talking about yoga with him!
No one asked him why Ilya, no one gave them a hard time at all really.
It had been clear, too, that they loved their captain. Shane could see the love clearly in each of their eyes, could hear the quiet reverence in their voices when they talked about him. This team adored their captain and they saw the parts of Ilya that Shane saw. Sure, he annoyed the shit out of them at times, but he also annoyed the shit out of Shane sometimes. But beyond his annoying facade, there was a heart of gold. One that Shane felt so utterly grateful to have.
Not only did they love Ilya, they seemed to have already decided that they loved Shane as well.
“You guys look good together,” Harris told them as they all sat on Bood’s deck watching the sunset.
“Of course we look good together. Do you see how gorgeous Shane is? He makes anything look good,” Ilya said as if he had been personally offended and not just given a sweet compliment.
“Mom wants to meet him,” Harris said, his eyes alight with glee. “Said she wants to meet the guy who stole her favorite dancing partner.”
Shane didn’t even get the chance to ask what the hell Harris was talking about before Harris excitedly launched into the story of how Ilya and Mrs. Drover danced at a charity event and that Ilya teased her every time he went over to the farm. Shane smiled as he listened. Not only did his team love him, his teams families loved him too.
“I just feel like an idiot that I didn’t see it,” Bood said with a groan, his son Milo sitting on his lap. “Troy keeps bragging that he knew from the moment he was traded.”
Shane looked at him in surprise. “The moment you were traded?”
The bigger man flushed in embarrassment. “I figured it out when Ilya took me to the Kingfisher, he kinda came out to me and then it wasn’t hard to put two and two together when he didn’t confirm a question of mine. Plus he got a bit offended when I asked for your number.”
“I can’t believe you asked for his number,” Harris cried out. “Now I have to know that I have to compete with Shane Hollander!”
“Babe, Shane’s married and I’m literally dating you. We’re buying a house together,” Troy said, looking at the man in amusement. He looked back at Shane. “It just made sense, though, when I thought about it. Like of course it was you.”
There was that statement again.
Of course it was you.
As if they could all see how the stars were aligned for the two of them. How it was so obvious that there was no one in this world better for Shane Hollander than Ilya Rozanov.
“It makes so much sense!” Wyatt exclaimed. “I mean it’s always been Hollander and Rozanov. You guys should have been at the 2017 All Stars, I mean it was electric. It’s like if Batman and Superman started dating, it just makes sense.”
“Why does it make sense for Batman and Superman to date? What the fuck are you talking about bro?” Nick demanded, squinting at Wyatt.
Shane snorted and shook his head as the conversation shifted to Wyatt going on a rant about something called Superbat and how DC writers were cowards.
Ilya bumped his arm against his softly. “I told you they would love you,” he said in a low whisper. Shane gave his husband a small smile, but there was a pang in his chest. It was so different from the Voyageurs. They had been so anti Ilya from the moment they found out about their relationship that it hurt Shane’s heart. He would never get this with his team. He would never be able to invite Ilya with him to a day out with the team. It was another reason Shane was trading to the Centaurs but it didn’t take the hurt away from it all.
The Voyageurs were his brothers, he had dedicated so much of his life to that team, got them cups, was in their weddings and attending their kids baptisms. And they couldn’t so much as respect his partner. It made him jealous, it had him angry. Because why couldn’t he provide Ilya with what Ilya had given him?
Ilya’s best friend loved him, his team was welcoming him in with open arms. Hell, from what Marlow had told him, the Bears would love him too. Shane desperately wished he could say the same about the Voyageurs but even Hayden and JJ could barely tolerate being around Ilya. It hurt that the people he loved couldn’t be bothered to get to know the love of Shane’s life.
They still held him at arm’s length, treated him more of a nuisance than anything. There was no love for Ilya, not the way Ilya’s friends seemed to love Shane.
It was the first time Shane was having dinner with Svetlana without Ilya. To say he was terrified would be a helluva understatement. Ilya had originally planned on being there until he had come down with the flu and Svetlana had already made the plans and Shane felt bad. cancelling. Besides, she was Ilya’s family.
Sure, he had Andrei but they hadn’t spoken since the last time Ilya had gone to Russia and he had no plans on speaking to his brother.
For all intents and purposes, Svetlana was Ilya’s only family. His only connection left to Russia, his childhood best friend, former lover, and now the closest thing he had to family. From the very beginning, Shane had felt intimidated by Svetlana. She was beautiful, elegant, Russian, her and Ilya had history that far surpassed Shane’s own history with the man. She knew Ilya inside and out and it was intimidating.
He knew that Ilya loved him, he didn’t doubt that fact for even a second. But he knew that Ilya also loved Svetlana and that her friendship meant the world to him. But there was this incredibly insecure part of Shane that worried that one day Ilya would realize he loved Svetlana more than him. Hell, most of the time he called her Svetik which was some Russian affectionate nickname for Svetlana.
Things with Svetlana would have been easier for Ilya than anything with Shane. Hell, even Ilya knew that! It had been the reason he originally suggested he marry Svetlana and use her as a beard because he knew it would be easy. Easy for him, excruciatingly painful for Shane.
So yes. He was intimidated by Svetlana and maybe even a little jealous of her, despite what he wanted to tell himself. Which is why he was sweating as he waited for her to show at the restaurant that Ilya had originally made reservations for.
“Shanya!” Svetlana exclaimed as she walked up. Shane forced a smile on his face as he stood and gave her a quick hug, kissing each of her cheeks.
“Svetlana, it’s good to see you,” he said with a small smile as he pulled her seat out for her. The woman looked beautiful sitting across from him. Her auburn curls pulled back in a tight bun, her edges laid in beautiful swirls on her forehead and temples. She had a lovely pink eyeshadow dusting her eyes that matched the rose colored dress she wore that clung perfectly to her body. As always, she was stunning and that pang of jealousy hit him once again.
“Please, call me Sveta,” Svetlana said, waving her hand dismissively. “Only coworkers call me Svetlana.”
“Alright Sveta,” Shane said with a small smile. “How are you? How’s it been working for the Bears?”
They were currently in Boston for a game, one that Ilya had played half delirious with fever, barely cinching them with a win because he was stubborn like that. He was currently sleeping at the hotel, his last words before falling asleep ordering Shane to spend time with his other favorite person. Which how the hell was Shane supposed to say no to that?
“It’s been good,” she said with a nod of her head. “Everyone loves having Sergei’s daughter working there, you know, aside from nepotism jokes they all like to make.”
Shane snorted and nodded his head. “I can imagine that would be annoying. Having people only see you for who your parents are and not for your own talent.”
“Yes! Is very annoying!” Sveta exclaimed, throwing her hands out and Shane couldn’t hide his smile at that. She and Ilya were so similar it was painful sometimes. Ilya had told him once that Shane was his twin flame and soulmate, but that Sveta was his person. Apparently he had learned the term from Gray’s Anatomy or something.
Shane listened intently as Sveta told him about work, about being the director of Hockey Operations and all the work that went into it. It was fascinating work, if Shane was being honest. Sure, he was the one out on the ice playing hockey and making goals. But Sveta was up there making sure that people like Shane could do it in the first place. It was all incredibly cool and Shane loved listening to it. It made him regret not going to college a little bit, mostly because he would have loved to work in a field like that after retirement.
Not that he planned on retiring any time soon.
“So, how are things with you and Ilyushok?” She asked and some of the tension in Shane’s shoulders went away at the nickname.
“Things are fine, Ilyushka’s sick with the flu. He nearly killed himself on the ice because he’s stubborn and insisted on playing even when he shouldn’t have,” Shane said with a small smile, watching the way Sveta’s mouth ticked up in a small smile at the nickname.
“Da, he is very stubborn,” she said with a nod of her head. “But is why it’s good that he has someone like you to take care of him. You don’t care he is stubborn, you love him anyway and force him to do what he needs to to take care of himself.”
“I try my best,” Shane said with a small smile.
“You are good for each other. I know Ilya better than anyone besides you, I think. I have seen his good and his bad and you make his bad a lot easier for him. He is difficult at times, but he makes it worth it. Loving him is worth it,” she said with a nod of her head as the waiter set their food down in front of them.
“Loving him is easy,” Shane said with a small smile. “I just wish other people would see that.”
Sveta frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
Shane shook his head. “I dunno, I’m starting to think maybe I’m bad at choosing friends or something. They’re all so pigheaded. I get questions all the time like “why Ilya?” or “you couldn’t have found a nice guy in Montreal?” and it gets to me— a lot. Because Ilya is a nice guy. He’s got the biggest heart of anyone I know. I mean he’s so perceptive and he’s so kind and funny and—”
“And he is Ilya,” Sveta said with a small smile. “I know.”
“I just, my friends, Hayden and JJ, it’s like they can’t see it past his exterior. The Voyageurs hated him. And—and all of his friends and family have opened me with open arms and have loved me and made me fit in. But mine haven’t. My parents once they got to know him did, but even them at the beginning couldn’t understand. I know the media makes him out to be this bad boy asshole Russian—”
“Shane,” Sveta said quietly. “He is an asshole Russian.”
“But he’s more than that. He’s wonderful and smart and—”
“I know. I know he is Shane and think about what you said with your parents. Once they got to know him they made him comfortable. I imagine the moment they gave him the chance, his entire personality around them changed. Just like it did with you, right? I imagine he went from ah, asshole who teased the shit out of you, to someone who still teases you but also compliments you and calms you down. He shows you his softer side now versus the beginning when I imagine he did not.”
Shane frowned. She was right. Of course she was right. The first few years of their situationship, Ilya was a bit of an asshole who teased him every chance he got. But as Shane got more comfortable and opened up with Ilya, Ilya did the same. He showed Shane all of his soft and squishy sides and Shane fell harder and harder as he did. Hell, he was even in love with the teasing asshole side of Ilya because he kept Shane on his toes in a way no one else had ever done.
“You know what I am talking about,” Sveta said with a nod of her head. “Not may are willing to see past his walls. They see asshole but nothing underneath. Is how Ilya decides if they are worth it. Worth caring about. Healthy? no. But he has trauma, he is working on it. He protects himself, you see Ilyushok the way that I have always seen him since before Irina died. Passionate, funny, someone who cares too much and once you know where to look, wears his heart on his sleeve. Hides his pain behind jokes and soft smiles because he doesn’t want others to worry.”
“But they don’t see that and I don’t know how to fix it. I hate how Hayden and JJ treat him and I don’t—I want to fix it,” Shane stressed. “I see all of that, I loved him even when he was an asshole who ignored me when I told him he was smoking in a no smoking place. I’ve loved him from the moment I saw him and I just, I need people to stop questioning me and just take the time to get to know Ilya instead.”
“Ilya doesn’t care about—”
“I care! He’s my husband and I care about how they treat him!”
“Then tell them. If they are kind to Ilya and react well to his teasing, he will be kind back. He is slavic asshole, but he is caring slavic asshole.”
“I just want the world to see what I see,” Shane said quietly, looking down at the table, stirring his fork around in his pasta. Sveta reached over and took his hand in hers and squeezed it lightly.
“Shanya, look at me,” she said quietly and Shane dragged his eyes up to look at her.
She gave him a soft, kind smile. “Ilya sees that you see him. None of the rest matters to him.”
“How was dinner with Svetik?” Ilya asked as Shane slipped back into the hotel room later that evening. Ilya was curled up in bed, the blanket wrapped all around him until he looked a bit like a babushka, just his head sticking out from the blanket wrapped around his head. Shane smiled and kicked off his shoes by the door. He pulled his shirt off and folded it on the table.
“It went well. We had a good time, I think. We talked about her job, and we talked about you for a little bit, and our plans for this year,” Shane said as he stripped down, folding his clothes and setting them on the desk in the corner. “I’m going to shower really quick and I’ll be back. How are you feeling?”
He walked over, pressing his hand against Ilya’s forehead, frowning at how hot it was.
“I feel fine. I took the ah tamiflu you got me and I feel slightly better. Just cold,” he said with a nod. Shane gave him a soft smile, running his finger along his cheek bone.
“Good, I’ll be in bed soon,” he said, pressing a soft kiss on Ilya’s forehead before leaving for the shower, kicking off his boxers and setting them on the sink counter as he turned on the water. He sighed as hot water beat down on his head and back as his thoughts wandered.
Sveta was right. It didn’t matter what anyone thought but Ilya. But as he stood there in the hot water, his sick husband just a room away, he told himself he would have a talk with Hayden and JJ.
Their friendship wasn’t going to work if they couldn’t accept all parts of Ilya Rozanov. If they couldn’t take the time to see who he really was, Shane didn’t know if the friendship would be worth it.
Maybe it was wrong of him to think so, he wasn’t sure. But in his soul he knew, he would always choose Ilya over anyone else in the world. They were twin flames and that meant more than anything.