Work Text:
Connor peeled his eyes open, looking up at his dark ceiling. The heaviness in his body that held him in his bed for those extra five minutes, now growing to twenty, felt like the most uncomfortable weighted blanket ever.
He lifted his arm to reach for his phone, feeling the sleek glass of the screen against his fingertips. His thumb slid up as he squinted at the bright glow from his phone. Evan hadn't texted him yet. Connor didn't dwell on this for too long, but he already woke up later than usual, and Evan normally texted him in the mornings before school.
He sighed, dragging his hands over his face and willing himself out of bed. He looked around for his jeans and sweatshirt, changing his clothing.
The buzz of his family being awake and already talking, moving around, going about their mornings this early was enough to send shocks of annoyance through his exhausted body. But he sighed, walking to the bathroom with quiet footsteps so as to not notify his family that he was awake. They'd call for him soon anyway.
After washing up in the bathroom, Connor made his way back to his room to put on his shoes and throw his bag over his shoulder. He checked his phone again, still no text.
Just as he was walking down the stairs, his stepfather, Larry, called to him. "Connor! You better be awake, you're not skipping another day this week!"
Connor took a deep breath before walking down the other half of the stairs, meeting his step-father at the bottom and brushing past him without a word. His mother greeted him in a much too chipper and positive mood for a rainy winter morning. He gave a hum in response, grabbing a bowl to fill with cereal. He looked up as his mom began talking to him again.
"Won't you be cold? It's below freezing," She asked Connor, moving closer to him until their shoulders were almost brushing.
Connor shook his head, pulling at his shirt collar to reveal a long-sleeve black t-shirt that had a grey shirt layered overtop tucked under his sweatshirt. He had slept in the black t-shirt, but he figured no one would be able to tell.
"I'm driving anyway," Connor reminded his mom, pouring milk over his dry cereal. His mother didn't reply verbally, just simply nodded and gave her husband a nervous glance.
Connor knew that look all too well. They didn't trust him. He was able to get his license after getting out of the mental hospital, but both of his parents practically helicoptered around the thought of him driving anywhere at all.
"I'm not driving him," Zoe chimed in, grabbing her things and walking to the front door before their parents even had time to ask her to consider it. Connor was glad, he didn't want to ride with her either.
He stood at the counter, trying to shovel the cereal fast enough into his mouth to avoid being around his parents longer than he had to. He spent the time mumbling answers at his mom and ignoring Larry completely.
A sigh of relief deflated out of his chest as he put the now-empty bowl in the sink. He could finally leave. He used to be able to get away with not eating breakfast, but his mom practically forced him to, paranoid that he would develop an eating disorder that no medical professional ever worried about.
It just seemed the better he got mentally, the more his mom acted as if he was made of thin, fragile glass that would crack at something as simple as a temperature change. He did feel like it sometimes, but it hadn't happened in a while. Not since he'd gotten with Evan.
As he walked out of the house, car keys in hand, the dry winter air hit his face. He fought back a shiver as the frigid cold wracked his body, unlocking his car and climbing in. Just before he pulled out of the driveway, he checked his phone. Still no message from Evan. A frown began to form on Connor's face. This wasn't like Evan at all. Connor felt a slight twinge of annoyance in his gut at this, but he pushed it away and decided to send him a text before beginning his drive. Just a short good morning message that was typically sent by Evan first.
Connor tried not to think about the fact that Evan had not texted him as he drove to school. He watched as road signs passed, as traffic lights changed colors, and the hum of the heating system in his car. The sky was cast a dark blue, the only contrast being the Sun that had just begun to rise around 20 minutes prior.
There was snow lining the sides of the road, and frost covered the hood of his car. Connor wished he could have just stayed home, knowing he had to face the freezing winter weather made it all the more difficult to make himself go to school. He had nowhere near enough credits to graduate early, either.
His car pulled into the school parking lot, and he found his spot and parked, groaning and resting his forehead against his steering wheel. He just had to make it to the end of the day, he just had to get out of his car and walk inside. He just had to stick around long enough to catch Evan in the hallway before first period. Then it wouldn't be so bad.
Reluctantly, Connor climbed out of his car and grabbed his bag, locking the vehicle as he walked towards the building. He kept his head down for the most part, he didn't want to see anyone who was passing by. He only ever wanted to see one person.
His body was rushed by warm air as he pulled open the doors to the school, his eyes immediately searching frantically through the large hallway. He spotted Jared first, expecting to find Evan nearby, but he was nowhere to be seen. Usually, Evan hung around Jared in the morning before Connor got there because he was too embarrassed to stand alone. Connor, however, would rather stand alone for the next ten years if it meant avoiding a conversation with Jared Kleinman.
Unfortunately, on this particular morning, Connor was desperate enough to find Evan that he was willing to inconvenience himself with the experience that was conversing with Jared. He approached Jared, who had just been ignored by Zoe. Connor found it funny. He knew his sister was polite enough to greet people she'd never spoken to before, but she had always ignored Jared, even before Evan came into the picture.
Jared looked up, giving him a grin that was much too enthusiastic for the time of day. Connor had to mentally prepare himself for this.
"Hey, where's Evan?" Connor pressed immediately. Jared rolled his eyes and groaned, "Why would I know? I don't really care, but I haven't seen him."
Connor huffed at Jared, dropping the interaction directly after Jared finished his sentence and walked away. It was already too much for him to tolerate.
He walked around, looking for Evan and checking his phone before the bell rang. He walked to his first period, paranoia settling in his gut. Where was he? Was he not coming? And why hadn't he told Connor?
[7:36 A.M.; To Evan]
good morning
[8:18 A.M.; To Evan]
where are you?
are you not coming?!
are you okay??
Connor looked up from his phone, his eyes scanning the board at the front of the classroom. If Evan wasn't here, he was going home. A random Thursday in the middle of winter was not worth the mental burden that it wielded.
He thought about it longer, ignoring his teacher's lesson. He had a study hall third period, and homeroom before that. However, his first two classes were hardly worth his time. It wouldn't matter anyway, he'd made up his mind when he saw Evan wasn't here.
He stood up and walked out of the classroom. He hadn't even put his bag down. His teacher didn't call after him, he left without asking all of the time. No one bothered with him anymore.
Connor made his way back to his parked car, climbing in again and peeling out of the parking lot. He wasn't going home, not until his parents left the house. He had some time before the school notified them of his absence, considering he went out through the side entrance and hadn't even bothered with signing out of the office.
He was going to Evan's house. Something was wrong, he knew. Evan wouldn't ignore him like this if everything were okay. The drive was short despite the fact that it stretched out in Connor's mind unrealistically long. He knew the route to Evan's place just as well as he knew the one to his own house, he was there in 15 minutes.
He parked beside the curb outside Evan's house, observing the fact that Evan's mom wasn't home. Her car wasn't in the driveway. Connor called Evan's phone about 3 times before deciding to go inside after he hadn't gotten an answer.
The front door was locked, so Connor hopped the fence and got in through the back door. His feet were cold from the snow he'd landed in, but the sensation hardly crossed his mind as he got into the house.
Evan wasn't in the living room or kitchen, and seemed to be missing from the first floor entirely. Connor kicked off his boots and began climbing the stairs with heavier steps than he realized. He practically stormed into Evan's room, swinging the door open and freezing.
Evan had all of his curtains and blinds drawn, the opposite of how he normally had them. Connor didn't understand, but he knew Evan liked keeping his curtains open so he could look outside. So this was a little alarming, assuming Evan hadn't suddenly switched to align his own lifestyle with Connor's.
Evan was huddled under blankets, the only part of him visible to Connor being his mousy brown hair. His back was turned towards where Connor stood as he slept.
Connor crept further into the room, his brows furrowing with concern. As he approached Evan's bed, he could hear Evan's quiet, raspy breathing. Connor quickly held his hand up to Evan's forehead to confirm what he had quickly concluded. Evan was sick.
Connor ran his fingers through Evan's hair, sitting beside him on the bed, and rested his other hand on Evan's side. He began to shake him lightly to wake him up, his fingers scratching lightly at Evan's scalp.
It took longer than Connor expected to finally wake Evan up, but he eventually did. Evan squinted his eyes at Connor, mumbling softly in complaint. "Evan? Are you awake?" Connor asked, leaning in closer to his boyfriend. Evan nodded weakly, keeping his back turned. Connor smiled softly at the nod.
"You weren't at school. Sorry, I wouldn't have bugged you so much if I knew you were home sick. I thought something happened," Connor explained to Evan, tucking the blankets around him.
"Huh?" Was all Evan managed to mumble back at Connor. "I called and texted," Connor prompted, looking around Evan's room. He had a bottle of cough syrup, a cup of water, and Gatorade on his nightstand. All three looked nearly untouched. Evan's phone sat on its charger behind those items, on silent.
Connor picked up Evan's phone, seeing his own messages and calls pop up, unread. Evan hadn't even known. "Never mind, Ev. Forget I said anything," Connor told him softly, putting the phone back down and turning towards Evan again.
"Are you up for talking?" Connor asked, moving his hand to cup Evan's face. Evan shook his head, tightening the blankets around himself. "Yeah, okay, that's fine," Connor replied. "Have you had any medicine? Did your mom help?"
Evan shrugged at him, which was a little frustrating because Connor didn't exactly know what that meant. "Does that mean you don't know?" Connor pressed, sighing softly as Evan shook his head again. They went back and forth a few more times before he figured out it meant a little bit. She helped a little bit, she gave Evan cold medicine.
"Okay, well... I'm assuming you're not hungry," Connor told him, pulling the blankets back and crawling under them beside Evan. His arms came up and around him, pulling Evan's feverish body against his own. Connor pressed slow, gentle kisses to the side of Evan's neck, murmuring into his skin. "Tell me if you need anything. Just wake me up."
Connor could feel the heaviness in his body drain as he lay there with Evan in his arms. His eyes closed, and within a few minutes, he had fallen asleep. At some point, Evan had rolled over, ducking his head under Connor's chin.
They managed to sleep most of the day, Evan curled into Connor as an attempt to hide from the sickness that ached in his body. Connor had only begun to stir around 3 in the afternoon because Evan was starting to toss and turn.
Connor lifted his head, tightening his hold around Evan to squeeze him into a firm hug. Evan was still asleep, but Connor figured he would wake up soon. He sighed as he realized the time, his parents had messaged him, asking why he wasn't at school. He'd have to explain later, but for now, he needed to help Evan.
Connor looked down to see that Evan was still in a deep sleep, despite the fact that he had jostled him a little while trying to sit up to reach his phone. Evan turned over as Connor released him from his hold. He landed face down in a pillow that was braced against the wall that Evan kept there so he wouldn’t hit his head while sleeping.
Connor could now see why this was a concern. He’d teased Evan for his pillow layout before, but it seemed necessary considering he would’ve smacked his head on the wall while sleeping if it wasn’t there.
Connor swept his hand over Evan’s head, petting his hair briefly. His forehead still felt warm. Connor frowned at that. He hoped his fever would have gone down by now.
He braced himself, getting up out of the bed, the boxspring creaking from the absence of his weight. Connor could hear Evan shifting behind where he stood. He was still asleep, moving to the spot Connor had previously been lying in.
Connor checks his phone, groaning at the sight of missed calls from both his mom and his stepfather, as well as angry texts from both of them and one from Zoe. He simply shoved his phone into the pocket of his jeans and exited the room.
He walked through the halls of that very familiar house, knowing the way to the kitchen like the back of his hand. He'd looked out the window that was near their front door, almost relieved to see Evan's mom was still at work.
That relief was short-lived as he entered the kitchen and realized he had no idea how to help Evan feel better. Whenever he got sick, he just slept it off until his mom forced him to go. He knew soup helped, assuming Evan's throat was sore.
Connor mentally kicked himself. He didn't actually know what was wrong with Evan. He hadn't gotten the chance to ask. He knew he had a fever and that he was really tired, but that could've been any illness under the Sun for all Connor knew.
He groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face and opening the pantry to look for a can of soup. Their food wasn't very well organized, nothing seemed to really have a place or spot on the shelves. Everything just sat randomly next to other types of foods that Connor wouldn't expect to find next to each other.
Connor's mom had a two-week craze over keeping their pantry stocked and organized in labeled bins and tubes around three months ago. It was annoying while it went on, but he had to admit it was easier to find things when everything was neatly put together in its own section and storage.
After digging around for a few more minutes, he found a can of chicken noodle soup. Connor grabbed a pot, poured the soup into it after opening the can, and turned on the burner.
He could recall Evan telling him he didn't care for chicken noodle, or any soup at all. But he would have to suck it up and eat it because Connor didn't really know how to make that many things, and he was certain Evan eating pizza while sick with whatever he had wasn't a good idea.
Connor could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket, and while it was his lab partner, an email from school, or his family, he didn't care enough to look at it. So he let it go as he watched the soup heat up in the pot.
He looked around for their medicine cabinet, but he didn't remember where it was. The only time he'd ever gotten anything from it was when he had a headache during a sleepover, Evan and he had before they started dating. He'd gotten Ibuprofen.
After coming to the conclusion that they probably didn't keep their medicine in the kitchen, Connor turned back to the pot, took it off the heat, and found a bowl to pour the soup into. He let it cool for a few minutes before doing so, getting Evan a fresh glass of water.
Just as he put the pot down on the stove and reached to grab a spoon from the drawer, he heard footsteps coming from down the stairs. He sighed, frustrated. Why would Evan ever think it was a good idea to get out of bed?
Connor stormed off to the bottom of the stairs, crossing his arms and fixing Evan with a glare. Evan was surprised to see his boyfriend suddenly appear, flinching from being startled and tripping over his own feet. His body quickly collided with Connor's own as he was caught and then dragged off the stairs. Connor huffed at him, sitting him down on the second-to-last step in front of them.
"Are you serious? Why would you leave your room? You can hardly walk." Connor asked, crouching down and feeling Evan's forehead again, his hand coming down to lightly brush Evan's cheek in a subtle, affectionate gesture.
"I... Didn't even know you were here?" Evan spoke, his weak voice shaky and hoarse. Connor raised his eyebrows at Evan, shaking his head.
"I literally woke you up at like, 10, and then slept in your bed all day with you. You don't remember that?" Connor asked, a twinge of concern leaving a pang in his gut.
Evan thought for a moment, then lifted his head and looked at Connor, slowly nodding. "Oh yeah... You did do that, didn't you...," He replied, his cheeks flushed with fever.
Connor scoffed, his hands moving to rub up and down Evan's arms, a poor attempt at soothing the shivering body sitting in front of him.
"I'll help you back upstairs. I made you soup," Connor murmured to him, standing up and grabbing his hands. Evan stood up on shaky legs, trying to keep up with Connor on the stairs.
"Christ, Ev," Connor huffed, taking his arm from around Evan's waist and moving to pick him up. Evan gasped as he was lifted into a bridal hold, letting Connor take him up the stairs. Evan's face flushed for a new reason, Connor had never carried him like this before. He wished he wasn't feeling like crap so he could enjoy it more.
Connor hadn't noticed the change in Evan's expression, focused on bringing him back to bed. He nudged the door of Evan's room open with his foot, walking back over to where he'd found Evan this morning, and lay him back down into the warm sheets and blankets.
Evan deliriously smiled at Connor, reaching out to grab his hand. Connor let him slip his sweaty hand into his own, sighing and kneeling beside the bed, meeting Evan at eye level.
“Okay, I made you soup,” Connor reminded, “I’ll be back in a few.” Evan shook his head, weakly wrapping his arms around Connor’s neck, his forehead warm against the cool skin on Connor’s throat.
“No, we’re not doing this,” Connor groaned, trying to pull away from Evan. In return, Evan gave a sad whine, trying to keep Connor from leaving.
“Wait, but why are you leaving again?” He asked, lifting his head to look up at Connor with lidded eyes. His grip tightened on Connor, his fingers softly digging into his shoulders.
“I already told you, Evan. I made you food,” He took Evan’s arms from around his neck, his pale fingers wrapping around Evan’s wrists and holding them down in the bed beside him.
Connor stood up and turned to leave, glancing back at Evan, who was frowning at him. Connor would’ve felt bad about it, but he wasn’t even leaving the house. He’d be back upstairs in less than a minute. He walked downstairs, retrieving the bowl of soup and glass of water off the counter. The ceramic that held the soup felt warm against the palm of his hand as he walked back up the stairs and towards Evan's room.
Evan was sitting up in bed, his back slumped against the wall behind him, waiting for Connor to return. He smiled softly when his boyfriend walked back into the room shortly after leaving. Connor set the bowl and cup on Evan's nightstand, picking up the bottle of cough syrup and reading the label. It was just a cough suppressant, but he hadn't heard Evan coughing, and he hadn't seemed to be getting better.
"Where's your medicine cabinet?" Connor asked him, handing over the warm bowl of soup. Evan took the bowl, then pointed towards the door.
"It's in the bathroom, but I can just take the cough syrup," Evan began to insist. He felt bad. Connor already made him food, he didn't want to make him do more than that. He didn't want him to leave either.
"What good is that? You're not coughing," Connor replied flatly, standing up and walking over to the bathroom, looking around for a more suitable medicine. After finding fever reducers, he made his way to Evan's room again and sat back down.
"Okay," Evan looked up as Connor spoke, watching him split a dose from the packaging. He had taken a few sips of the soup, the liquid warming his insides as it trickled down his throat. "Take these," Connor handed him the pills, as well as the glass of water.
Evan rested the bowl in his lap, taking the pills and cup, ingesting the medicine. Connor took the glass back, sitting against Evan's pillows after placing it on the nightstand.
"Are you okay now? Is there anything else you want?" Connor asked, watching Evan eat. Evan shook his head, trying to hand the ceramic back to Connor.
"You only ate half of it," Connor argued, not taking the bowl yet. Evan handed it forward again, he felt too tired to keep eating. It felt like he was being dragged down by a ton of bricks to lie back onto the mattress again. Connor reluctantly took the bowl from Evan's hands, setting it back down on the nightstand. He turned back towards his boyfriend, who was watching him with glassy blue eyes.
"You look high," Connor joked, resting his hand in Evan's hair, the bottom of his palm resting on Evan's forehead. "Are you going to the doctor? When's your mom coming home?" Evan shrugged, he didn't have an answer for either of those questions except for 'I don't know'. He hadn't checked his phone all day, but dramatically, the thought of sitting up for any longer made him feel like he was close to dying.
Connor sighed, taking his hand off Evan's head and picking up the glass of water, trying to get him to drink some again. Evan obliged, but took a small sip before nearly dropping the cup. Connor took it from him again, placing it back onto the nightstand.
Evan had already begun lying back down, his cheek pressed against Connor's thigh as he rested his head in his lap. Connor looked down at Evan, his cheeks flushed, his skin pale. Connor couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips.
He and Evan's relationship didn't start out very affectionate. Neither of them ever had friends to base any sort of type of romance on, and everything portrayed in the media looked so awkward and felt like too much.
However, this simple display of vulnerability didn't bother either of them. Connor tried to shake away the small flutter in his stomach at feeling of Evan being so close, it felt different from earlier. Evan had never rested his head on his lap before, or maybe he had, and Connor hadn't remembered. It just felt different.
"I'm tired," Evan mumbled, glancing up at Connor again. Connor sat back against the pillows again, keeping an eye on Evan as he pulled his phone from his pocket, beginning to read the messages from his parents again.
Just as he was about to click on one of the messages to respond, he felt Evan shift. He looked up from his phone to see Evan situating himself against Connor's chest. Connor could feel his heart start to beat a little faster. Connor thought that was weird, he'd just spooned Evan a few hours ago while they slept.
Evan lifted his head, his forehead pressed to Connor's jaw. Connor could feel his face heating up at the feeling, it felt so intimate, so close. He didn't understand why this felt so different, but he helped Evan to wrap his arms around his shoulders.
Connor braced Evan's back with his arm, sinking further down into the mattress. Evan kept his head in the same spot, trying to stay as close to Connor as he could. Connor kissed his cheek, his other hand coming up to stroke Evan's cheek.
Neither of them had spoken, silent save for Evan's little coughs or sniffles he'd let out. Connor couldn't resist the need he felt to press a kiss against Evan's dry lips. Evan didn't exactly kiss back, but he did enjoy it. It was a surprise, he hadn't expected Connor to kiss him while sick.
Evan dropped his head under Connor's chin after the lazy kiss broke. Connor held him close, keeping Evan tucked against his body as he tugged the blankets back over the two of them. The scent of chicken noodle soup wafted to Connor, the meal half eaten and cold. Connor had forgotten about his phone, about the messages he intended to reply to. But the way Evan had clung to him, as if he were a hurt animal in pain, searching for a place to hide...
Connor kept his eyes locked on Evan as the sick boy dozed off again, keeping his arms around Connor's shoulders. He could hear Evan's mom pulling into the driveway, the car's engine giving a hum that got louder as she got closer.
Connor closed his eyes at that, keeping Evan close. He didn't want to talk to her, explain why he was there. He was a little angry at her for leaving Evan like this, for giving him medicine for something that was hardly there. He took the slightest bit of arrogant pride in the knowledge that he had given Evan the right kind of medicine instead.
Connor kept his eyes closed as he heard Evan's mom move throughout the house. If she found them up there together and saw that they were both asleep, Connor could get out of discussing her son's medical condition for now. He would do that later, when Evan wasn't hanging off of him. When his cheeks weren't flushed a flustered pink.
Evan had completely fallen asleep by the time Connor felt himself begin to drift off again, Evan's hold around Connor's shoulders had loosened. The weight of Evan against his body felt heavy, but it was different than when things normally felt heavy.
Evan felt like a weighted blanket or stuffed animal, a compression that was intended to keep Connor there. Not one meant to make him feel glued to the mattress, like he was being crushed into the bed so hard he could barely move. Not at all like how he'd felt this morning.
This morning, with his family, who fought and nagged at him. This morning, in his room with curtains that let holes of light in through the burned patches of fabric. He'd just wished Evan's room also smelled like weed instead of sickness. It made him feel almost guilty that Evan felt so awful.
Connor constricted his embrace around Evan as his thoughts grew patchy and foggy. The buzz of the heater and Heidi Hansen's footsteps softened to a muffle. By the time Heidi creaked open her son's door, the boy she found next to him was already asleep.