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Cheeks warm from the stifling summer heat, aching knees drag Hinata home after a gruelling practise. Any outside sound is muffled by his cheap earphones and his mind is blissfully empty.
‘’… and someday soon, I will forget this junkyarddd,‘’ he hums along, bopping his head slightly. Everywhere seems hazy, almost misted over from the pure exhaustion he finds himself with. The grass is green and the sky is blue, and yet the world seems like something out of his dreams. The breeze ever so slightly biting and the flowers curled into one another. Caught in this sudden daze, his gaze is no longer forward, and steps into something that almost crushes his nose into little bone splinters.
Well, that’s what it feels like anyways.
Clutching his red-hot nose, Hinata steps back, brows furrowed and ready to yell hell to his assailant. But his mouth slowly shuts as he locks eyes with someone he didn’t expect.
Tsukishima.
How strange considering he didn’t attend practise either. Hinata rips his earphones out before shouting, “What the hell is your problem?! Watch where you’re going! And why weren’t you at practise??’’
His quick line of questioning is met with silence, so Hinata decides that for once, he can be the bigger person, and steps aside, already discarding this useless interaction. Two steps forward and he’s suddenly pulled back. Shrieking, he holds his fists up, before cold fingers twist his head around and press his face against theirs. Oh. My. God.
Tsukishima’s lips are touching his. Tsukishima’s. Lips. are Touching. His. They are kissing. What kind of alternate universe did Hinata wake up to and was he so bad that some everlasting deity had chosen to punish him like this? Tsukishima hated him, it was a known fact. Every practise, the blonde taunted him to no end. Every block, every spike missed, there seemed to be no end to his snarky insults. And despite that, Tsukishima’s lips are pressed to his.
Warmth floods his cheeks as he squeals, (like a man because men do squeal too!), bag squished uncomfortably between his blazer and armpit. The kiss was probably a few seconds long but felt like forever. Fingers fall back from his chin and the raging inferno surrounding him suddenly disappears. Tsukishima looks deep into Hinata’s eyes, searching for something, god knows what, before gripping his bag and stepping aside.
Still, no words have been exchanged.
‘’OIII, Stingyshima, do you think this is funny, huh?! Is this another one of your stupid jokes?! NEWSFLASH, none of your jokes are funny! Anybody who laughs at you is ACTUALLY just feeling pity for you, you stupid id-‘’ A rough hand slaps over Hinata’s mouth, silencing his endless tirade. A sudden urge possesses Hinata to taste what Tsukishima’s hand is like, and without thinking, he sticks his tongue out and swipes it across his palm. A slight saltiness coats his tongue, as he is pushed back, and is once again left staring into stormy eyes.
Tsukishima sighs, and pushes his glasses up before saying, “Go home Hinata.’’ Deciding the conversation is now over, he strides off into the distance and leaves Hinata behind. A few moments pass and Hinata is still standing there, with the same biting breeze and the same flowers curled around him.
And yet, it feels like something’s changed.
——————————————————————————————
A few days pass, and it’s the end of practise once again. Hinata decides to stay behind today, despite Kageyama refusing to toss more for him. Can you believe that?! Kageyama saying no to extra practise? The gymnasium is silent, and empty except for him. The sounds of his quick breaths of fresh air echo and his heart pounds steadily, the bass ricocheting in his ears.
Aching knees pull him off the floor and Hinata forces himself to the changing rooms. Everything is hazy once more, and his eyes feel like they’re about to drop shut any second.
The locker room door suddenly opens and his heart leaps out of his chest.
‘’AHHHHHHH- I’M ARMED!’’
Arms held protectively in front of his chest, in the form of a karate chop, Hinata jumps up and locks eyes with whoever just came in.
It’s Tsukishima.
Oh God.
“HAHAHAH- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE.” Hinata yells, looking anywhere else but ahead.
“I had practise too…” Tsukishima deadpans before stepping to one of the lockers furthest from Hinata. So far, but the static between them sparks like they’re touching one another.
The silence is awkward now and Hinata can feel sweat sticking to him uncomfortably. Oh wow, his shoe laces are untied. It’s absolutely vital that he must tie these laces right now. Before he, oh I don’t know, trips and falls into Tsukishima’s arms and kisses the life out of him. WAIT! Has a demon taken control of him?! No normal person would think of Tsukishima like that.
He is the devil, Satan incarnate brought on earth to wreak havoc and haunt Hinata personally. He is not this bundle of warmth Hinata wouldn’t mind cuddling into. Lost in his racing thoughts and becoming more flustered, Hinata misses how Tsukishima stalks forward, only stopping in front of Hinata for a second, before clenching his T’shirt and pulling him into a kiss. Their lips mash together as Hinata exclaims, ‘’Hmmph-‘’ His poor, sore arms are crushed in between their two chests and Hinata can feel any semblance of life leave him. Goodbye cruel world, you will not be missed.
A wet slide against his tongue revives him as a sudden heat coils in his stomach. All of his thoughts painfully short-circuit. Hinata can’t help but moan as Tsukishima’s tongue flicks around his, hand creeping under his top and rubbing gently in the side of his ribs. That feeling builds up until a sudden cold brushes his nipples and he promptly combusts.
“TSUKKI?!’’ he shrieks, scandalised.
Tsukishima simply hums and tugs at his right nipple, rolling the perky bud between his fingers while leaving a trail of kisses down Hinata’s neck. He can tell he looks like he’s out of one of those scenes in a shoujo manga and goddamn it, he shouldn’t be the GIRL! With newfound strength, Hinata curls his legs around the back of Tsukishima’s knees and hurls them so he’s sitting on top. Like the true leader he is!
Except it doesn’t quite work out how he thought it would and his nose is once again pummelled this time, by the floor. He can smell the blood as it drips down his face. What a way to die. Death by attempted straddling.
“Tsukki. If I die, tell Kageyama I was the one who stole his milk.” He says sagely, before closing his eyes, accepting fate. An arm shakes him about, interrupting his ascension to heaven- because let’s face it, Hinata was a good kid!- and slaps his face a couple times.
“Let’s get you patched up,” Tsukishima sighs before dragging him along.
Now this was getting weird.
————————————————-
It’s now been a few weeks since that dreadful first kiss, no, VIOLATION of his innocence and the kisses start to happen after every practise. Fumbling together in the locker room, with only the sounds of their soft pants and clothes thrown onto the floor keeping them company. Hinata even starts to initiate these secret meetings sometimes, only to get the upper hand though. Tsukishima can’t always get one up on him! The feeling of Tsukishima’s lips against his is engraved into his brain, and every nerve in him sets alight whenever he thinks of it.
The dim moon shines through the half-closed blinds onto Hinata’s prone form as he lays starfish on top of his covers. His speakers are on low and music floats out of them. It’s midnight and everyone’s asleep but him.
‘… though I remember sunshine, the damage is done…’
The words make his heart pang painfully as he grazes his fingers softly against his own lips. With every kiss Tsukishima gives him, Hinata slowly morphs into something else. A creature of death, only brought alive by warmth of Tsukishima’s body against his. His handprints are branded against his sides, curled over his ribs and squeezing tightly over his traitorous heart. There’s no word for what he feels for Tsukishima.
It’s not love, but it’s not like either. It’s not hatred, because he wouldn’t burn inside whenever they accidentally brush past one another at practise. If he had to call this feeling something, it’d be yearning. To hold his hand, kiss in the rain, embrace like it’s the end of the world. But all he gets is a few sloppy makeouts in the locker room with no one else there. God, what a mess.
———————————————————————————————
It’s a bad day today. Literally everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. His alarm didn’t go off, so he missed morning practise. His bike broke down halfway through his rush to school, so he had to trek all the way and even arrived at first lesson late. He forgot to prepare his bento last night so now he has no food. The misery consumes Hinata to a point where he brushes off Kageyama when he asks if they want to practise briefly at lunch.
“BOKE!! DONT IGNORE ME.” Kageyama bellows down the hallway at him as Hinata flees.
The walls are getting closer, the chattering is getting even louder and his breaths are getting shorter by the second. Eyes fixed firmly to the floor, he raises a shaking hand to his forehead, hiding his face. A sudden jolt to the side is all that warns Hinata someone’s caught up to him before a quiet click of the door resounds in the empty classroom he’s all of a sudden in. He still doesn’t raise his eyes, pushing against the wall and sliding down. Tucking his head into his chest, he clutches his knees towards him as he struggles to breathe. Whoever’s with him doesn’t say anything either, the squeak of shoes against the floor suggesting they’ve sat right next to him. Thoughts racing, Hinata doesn’t register the soft grasp onto his arm before he is tugged into a strong chest. The cold fingers petting behind his ear reveal who it is as he trembles in their arms.
Minutes, maybe hours pass before he feels like himself, but his eyes still wobble before tears trickle down his face. They drop down onto Tsukishima’s shirt and Hinata clings to the side of it tightly as he rests his face firmly on top. Slim fingers card through his hair slowly, before rubbing the back of his neck gently.
Hinata looks up at Tsukki, lashes clumped with tears, and whines, “I’m sorry Tsukki.”
His eyes soften as he looks down at him before wiping under his eye tenderly.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs, bending down to press a kiss against the side of his head.
Something is churning in him, the beast buzzing with the soft affection Tsukishima has never shown him before. Blushing, he pushes his face firmly into his chest again, unwilling to break this brief moment of bliss.
Does he like Tsukishima?
———————————————————————————————
The revelation Hinata has come to has completely ruined any public interaction he has with Tsukishima. He cannot look in his eyes without blushing, or even talk to him without stuttering. It’s gotten to a point where even Kageyama, the emotionally stunted bastard, has noticed. Kageyama had tossed and so, Hinata jumped, arm arcing perfectly into the ball. Or so it should have. Instead Hinata looked straight in front, and there Tsukishima was, glowering at him, with his stupid glasses and his stupid face mocking him. Hinata’s hand falters ever so slightly and the ball zooms out of bounds. He’s shook off his game and he knows Kageyama saw his slip.
It’s the afternoon after practise that Kageyama approaches him, right as Hinata is about to head home.
“What the hell is going on with you Hinata? Why did you miss that ball,” Kageyama grumbles, hand squeezing the soul out of Hinata’s tiny wrist.
“NOTHING IS WRONG WITH MEEEE-“ he screams, batting his hands against Kageyama’s angry face.
“THEN WHY ARE YOU BEING SO WEIRD,” Kageyama screams back, pressing his thumbs into his eyes.
“LEAVE ME ALONE,” he moans back, pushing Kageyama back, but he doesn’t let go until they tumble back onto the floor. A sharp pain blooms at the back of his head and he yelps before an equally oppressive force slams into the bottom of his face. Confused, Hinata lifts his head up which only intensifies the pressure against lips. Wait.
His lips!
KAGEYAMA. IS. KISSING. HIM.
What the hell is his life…
The commotion is made even worse by the arrival of the rest of Karasuno.
“Oh-oh, what do we have here!” Tanaka sneers. Hinata screams and pushes Kageyama off him, “GET OFF ME STUPID IDIOT.” A fierce blush creeps up his neck as he launches himself upwards, ready to escape. Avoiding all eyes, he flits his back and forth before they settle back into Tsukishima’s. Who looks like he’s about to murder someone in cold blood. He looks them both up and down before scoffing disdainfully.
“So, this is what the great King and the dweeb get up to when we’re not here,” he mocks cruelly.
“Tsukki. Don’t be mean,” Yamaguchi reprimands before smiling softly at them both. Tsukishima clicks his tongue at this, harder than usual Hinata notices. “I did kinda expect this, so all I have to say is congrats!”
What the fuck is he talking about.
“Congrats for what.” Kageyama grunts, still melded to the floor.
“Your relationship! You finally got together right?!” Yamaguchi exclaims, while the others all smirk.
“I DON’T LIKE HIM.” They both yell despairingly in unison. Kageyama whips his head round to Hinata and bores into Hinata’s very being. Welp. Time to get out of here before shit kicks the fan.
“HAHHAHA. See you guys tomorrow?!” Hinata yells, running off.
“YOU WON’T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY BOKE,” Kageyama roars, to which Hinata promptly shoves his middle finger up at, before jumping on his bike and pedalling like no tomorrow. Tsukishima’s going to kill him.
———————————————————-
The next day passes without Tsukishima even glancing at him. The thought of him being mad causes something to gurgle inside him, feeding on his relentless anxiety. He hadn’t even insulted him. Tsukishima must be really mad. Hinata tries again and again to turn his attention onto himself but, it fails everytime. Tsukishima seems to find something more entertaining than talking to Hinata, which should be impossible because Hinata’s the funniest guy to walk on Earth and he knows it! Frustration bubbles up in him and he releases it in every toss Kageyama gives him. The feeling of the ball against his palm, the smooth texture soothing against his rough palms grounds him. Each breath taken, slowly getting deeper as he can feel his mind hone in on his true purpose. Volleyball. How could he have let Tsukishima distract him? With these dumb kisses and dumb feelings making him feel so weird all the time. He’s so desperate for any attention he gives him. Tsukishima is God and Hinata is the desperate kid who worships for something better at his shrine. The slap of the ball against his hand brings him back to the present as it spins all the way to the corner of the boundary.
“NICE KILL!” Kageyama exclaims, fist held out.
“THANK YOU!” Hinata holds his fist up in return and they bump it together. Smile beaming, Hinata looks up, anddd Tsukishima’s staring straight at him.
Seriously. What is this guys problem. Tsukishima doesn’t say anything. Tension crackles between them, only made more awkward by the second. The rest of practise goes on like this. Heated stares but no words exchanged.
It all comes to a head at the end of practise, when Tsukishima pulls Hinata aside. It’s empty and the summer heat is suffocating. The air is stuffy and filled with unspoken words. It takes everything in Hinata to not say the first word. Because why should he? Tsukishima’s the one being weird!
“Why are you being so strange,” Tsukishima mutters, brown eyes intensely focussed on his. Hinata just stammers out, “Ummm, I’m acting fine.”
Tsukishima just scoffs and hurls out, “Be serious. You can’t even stand to look at me. What, are you suddenly too good for little old me? The King’s superiority must have rubbed off on you.”
“What are you talking about? Don’t talk about Kageyama like that!”
“I can talk about Kageyama how I want. Question is, why do you care so much?” Tsukishima sneers, the crossing of his arms pressing tightly against his chest. The action causes the sweaty shirt to cling to his pecs. Every bump and crease is now fully defined.
Heat rushes into Hinata’s cheeks, “He’s my friend! But i guess you wouldn’t know, you don’t seem to have many of them!”
No one speaks for a moment or two before Tsukishima lurks forward.
“Then what are we,” he whispers into Hinata’s burning ear.
God. Hinata doesn’t even know himself.
His heart skips a beat as Tsukishima’s breath starts to intermingle with his. His heart feels like it’s going a 100 miles per minute, throttling against its cage of ribs, begging to be let out.
To scream out his feelings from the rooftop. But that would surely end in disaster, so Hinata cannot let that happen.
Working up the courage, he steps back and the distance between them is now larger. The haziness that appears whenever he is around Tsukishima has slowly faded and he can now think clearly.
“Friends don’t kiss.” He says firmly.
Tsukishima cocks his head to the side and replies, “You’re right. We’re more than friends.”
Hinata raises his arm in victory that he’s won one over Tsukishima until the words finally register.
MORE THAN FRIENDS? That was basically a love confession by Tsukishima’s standards. Hinata freezes, pondering over his sudden epiphany.
His raised arm is tugged and his body swings towards Tsukishima like a ragdoll. Yelping, he digs his heels into the ground but surprisingly this does nothing to slow down the movement.
Tsukishima’s strength is crazy, what the hell?? A strong hand clenches down on the dip in his waist and fingers pinch Hinata’s chin together before pulling him upwards. The kiss is passionate, Tsukishima stealing every breath from his lungs. A drop of saliva drips down the side of Hinata’s lips, and Tsukishima licks down the traces. The sweet Tsukishima is like a distant memory now, like an old film with static buzzing on the sides. The hum of his voice is lost in translation as Hinata becomes a slave to all of Tsukishima’s ministrations. All thoughts have bled out of his brain until all he thinks is Tsukki, Tsukki, Tsukki.
“Tsukkiii,” he whines, pulling away reluctantly, before Tsukishima silences him again with a soft peck against the tip of his nose.
The sound of their lips smacking against one another, and Hinata’s soft pants fill the air.
And all Hinata can think is how pathetic he must be. All he’s worth is stolen kisses under the blaze of the summer heat. And he’s not sure how to feel about this.
—————————————————-
The revelation that Hinata likes Tsukishima baffles him so immensely he promptly tries to choke himself to death. This doesn’t work, obviously. So Hinata’s left with these treacherous feelings that make him lighter whenever Tsukishima looks at him, and give him the need to have his attention focussed wholly and only on himself. What even are they?
Teammates? Friends? Lovers? The word makes Hinata giggle like a schoolgirl and wiggle about in his bed for a couple minutes. But if Tsukishima liked him, then he definitely doesn’t show it. This convinces Hinata to try his best to show Tsukishima he likes him. He’s going to be the best future-boyfriend ever! Hinata quickly gets changed and shoots off to school, resolve set and ready for anything.
At lunch Hinata runs off, declining practise with Kageyama to sit with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Who both look very surprised to see him.
“Hinata! Are you okay?” Yamaguchi exclaims, looking worried.
Hinata shakes the concerns off and screams, “I’M SITTING WITH YOU FOR LUNCH.”
There’s silence for a beat and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi look at each other suspiciously. There’s an unspoken conversation happening between them and Hinata feels left out.
Yamaguchi ends the silence, “O-okay!”
Hinata simply hums and pulls his bento out, unwrapping it, before he gets the best idea ever.
He’s going to feed Tsukishima!
He picks up a simple onigiri between his chopsticks and goes, ”Say ‘Aaaaah’ Tsukki.”
Yamaguchi’s jaw drops as his eyes flit between both of them.
A furious blush brightens Tsukishima’s cheek as he sneers, “What are you doing idiot.”
“I’m feeding you, DUHHHHH.”
“…yeah, but why.” Yamaguchi seems to be the only thing stopping Tsukishima from grabbing Hinata and shaking him about till his brain leaks out of his ears.
“UMMM- look how skinny this guy is. Seriously, do you even eat HAHHA.” Hinata’s now laughing awkwardly as his arm is straining from holding the onigiri in the air.
“Of course I eat. Do you get dumber by the day?” Tsukishima shoots back, pushing his glasses up irritatedly.
“WELL, YOU NEED TO EAT SOME MORE,” Hinata says smartly before shoving the onigiri in between Tsukishima’s open lips.
A strange sound that sounds like gibberish is happening somewhere in front of him before he realises the purple-red shade Tsukishima’s cheeks has become. Oh my God Tsukishima’s going to die.
“I’LL SAVE YOU TSUKKI.”
Hinata’s palm pounds Tsukishima’s back as he helps unlodge the ball of rice stuck down his throat.
Yamaguchi just wails in the back, scared of what Tsukishima will do to Hinata when he’s recovered.
He simply just pulls off Hinata’s hand that’s now caressing the deep planes of his back under his blazer gingerly and pushes him back to his seat.
His gaze is furious as he spits out, “Sit down. And shut. Up.”
How rude! Hinata was only trying to help.
He pouts as he looks down at his bento. It’s so beautiful. He truly is a master of his own craft. Hinata the Bento God. What a title. Conversation between the other two starts up around him but he isn’t that focussed. He’s fed Tsukishima so now what’s his next step in his master plan to woo him.
Hmmm. This is hard. Oh! Tsukishima is a hot-headed bastard, so the best way to wear him down?? Compliments! Hinata’s good at these.
Hinata looks up but is taken aback by Tsukishima’s eyes already on him. The tingling in his stomach has come back full force and he can feel the words at the tip of his tongue spill out.
“TSUKKI. YOU LOOK STUPID.”
Oh shit. He didn’t mean to say that.
“STUPIDLY GOOD THAT IS.” The silence after his words make him think that he’s done something wrong so he looks at Yamaguchi, who looks like he’s ascending off this planet, and back to Tsukishima. Who once again looks like he’s going to bury Hinata alive.
This plan isn’t working very well. Time for Plan B. Surprise Kiss! Hinata shoots up, grabs Tsukishima’s blazer in his clammy fingers, and pecks a kiss on his warm cheek. It’s certain that imminent death is near so he takes his escape while he can.
“SEE YOU GUYS AT PRACTISE!” he bellows, running away as fast as he can. His heart is pounding like mad, and every nerve within him is buzzing, electrifying him. How he wants and wants.
——————————————————
It’s after practise that Tsukishima corners him again. This guy seriously needs to pick a better time. Hinata’s got things to do!
They’re outside this time. The glaring sun is turning him to mush and he’s almost choking on the heat. Kaleidoscopes of colours surround them as the flowers finally bloom. The cold metal of his bike handle relieves the heat steaming off his own sweaty hand. The haziness has returned, and his earphones are blaring music around his neck.
“Why did you do that at lunch?”
Tsukishima sputters out, tall frame looming over him.
“Huhhhh. Do what? Feed you?”
Hinata scratches his head absently as he recalls the day’s earlier events. Truth be told, he’s kind of forgotten all about it All he wants to do is go home and rot in bed.
“No, stupid. Kiss me.” Tsukishima doesn’t look very impressed as he says this, arms crossed against his chest.
“Ohhhhhhhh. I wanted to. So I did.” Hinata says nonchalantly, whilst fighting that quivering feeling that threatens to jump out. Ugh, it’s too hot for this. Feelings! Stop acting up!
“Well, you can’t do that.”
What?
“Why?” Hinata’s now breathless for a different reason, shoving trembling fingers into his pockets. His bike clatters against the ground with a harsh bang but Hinata takes no notice. Thoughts spiralling, he can feel the air get hotter around them somehow. The heat is itchy against his neck and something in his stomach drops. The everlasting static between them grows endlessly as Hinata waits for Tsukishima’s reply.
“Because. There’s nothing between us.”
Heart shattering into tiny shards, he can do nothing but step back. The distance between them seems larger than ever, despite only being a metre long. The flowers are now not so colourful and the heat too hot. Ears burning, Hinata exclaims angrily, “What?! Those kisses don’t mean anything. Well, Tsukki! Friends don’t kiss each other! Boyfriends do. Lovers do.”
Tsukishima scoffs and says snidely, “That’s not what this was. I knew you were dumb but come on.”
There’s no sound for a second until a strange wail comes from something near. Something wet trickles down his face into his lips that tastes salty.
Oh it’s tears.
Hinata’s the one that’s crying. Pressing shaking fingers against his red-hot eyes, he refuses to look at Tsukishima and give him the satisfaction of seeing his tears.
Mouth quivering, he whispers, “I never knew you to be so cruel.”
Turning away, he picks up his bike, shaking and walks off, tears still rolling down his cheeks. The same song is still screaming into the air.
‘…love will slip away…’
His heart is heavy and everything hurts. Every fibre of his being burns with heat and consumes him. His desperateness to escape overrides any thought he has. He misses the arm reached out towards him, and straddles his bike, pedalling with a ferocity never known to him before. He leaves the field of kaleidoscopes behind and his love too.
——————————————————
Days pass with Hinata avoiding Tsukishima at every chance he can get. At practise? He sticks to Kageyama’s side like glue and only engages with Tsukishima when forced. And even then, he doesn’t say much. Gone are the days where he freely insults him. Instead, there’s something brewing in the air, a tension tightly coiled that seizes control of Hinata and makes him relive that moment over and over. The heartbreak feels less sharp now and slowly fades by the day. His heart no longer hurts when he looks at Tsukishima, and his fingers don’t tremble. He doesn’t feel anything for him. The thing between them is now non existent. Ruined by harsh truths and the naivety of Hinata himself. The lack of communication between the both has taken a toll on his practise, and this time everyone can tell. He’s missing spikes, his reflexes aren’t fast enough. His legs feel heavy and his arms ache terribly. His mind is cloudy and there’s nothing he can focus on. It’s after practise again, that he stays behind with Kageyama. Squeaking, his shoes slide across the wooden floor, as he greedily gulps down water. The cold is soothing to his sore throat and he closes his eyes, head tilted towards the ceiling.
“What is going on with you Hinata?”
Head whipping to the side, Hinata stutters, “N-nothing, baka. Let’s just practise already.”
Kageyama doesn’t say anything, and inches forward. “I know you’re lying. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Just leave it alone,” Hinata mutters, capping his water bottle and setting it aside.
“I’d believe you normally, but your playing is bad. Like even worse than usual.”
In a normal situation Hinata would probably shriek and deny this and then proceed to beat him up.
But with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the feeling of not being enough, he admits self-deprecatingly, “Yes. I know. I KNOW OKAY. I know I’m playing like crap.”
Not one for words, Kageyama stays silent, so Hinata carries on.
“I’ve just got stuff going on. Feelings. You know how it is. It hurts being like this and having it affect my volleyball like that. I don’t want to let you guys down!”
Lips wobble as he can feel his eyes start to prick with tears. Come on Hinata, not the time or place!
Gaze firmly to the floor, he misses how Kageyama stalks closer, and presses a hand firmly to his mop of unruly hair. He moves the hand back and forth, almost like he’s petting a dog, and has this weird expression on his face. His lips are pulled upwards and his eyes are crinkled. It seems very menacing.
“What the hell is wrong with your face?”
“I’M SMILING IDIOT,” he yells, curling fingers into the tufts of hair and shaking him about.
“OWWWWW- I’M SORRY KAGEYAMAAAA,” Hinata wails, grabbing the hand to pull it off.
“I can’t get to finals without you. We said we’ll do it together. So, I’m waiting for you!” Kageyama bops the top of his head with his fist, and Hinata can feel his heart warm up again.
Beaming, he replies, “I’ll catch up soon!”
The door creaks open, and they both turn towards it. It’s Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.
Great. Just the people he wants to see right now. He doesn’t say anything and just picks up the ball.
The repetitive motion of the ball bouncing against his hand and then to the wall doesn’t do much to fight the feeling of Tsukishima’s eyes on his back. They chatter for a while before Kageyama approaches and joins in. The air is light, and Kageyama’s tosses are perfect. He spikes every one of them and satisfaction lights up inside him. Hinata Shouyou is back!
———————————————————————————————
Kageyama left earlier than him, apparently wanting to revise for their test tomorrow. Hinata’s already accepted failure so he leaves later. Strolling outside, he’s accompanied by Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Exhaustion almost tugs his eyes closed and there’s no energy left to even partake in the conversation.
“… you okay Hinata?”
“Huh?” He murmurs, rubbing his eyes. He’s about to fall asleep.
“Were you okay earlier?” Yamaguchi clarifies, eyes crinkled in worry.
Hinata looks to the side at Tsukishima, unnerved by the stone cold glare and replies,”Yeah, of course? Why wouldn’t I be!”
“Considering you were cuddling Kageyama right before we came in, I’d say he’s fine.” Tsukishima lip curls with disgust and Hinata can feel rage boil up inside him.
How dare he.
“It’s not none of your business what me and Kageyama do. So, stay out of it,” he says coldly, fingers clenching tightly around his handlebars. Does this guy seriously have to start a problem everytime they talk? The awkwardness bubbles up and it’s clear no one knows what to reply. There’s a sigh before Tsukishima says,” Go on Yamaguchi. I have something I need to discuss with Hinata.”
He’s leaving him and Tsukishima alone?! That’s a recipe for disaster. Hinata will genuinely end up fighting him.
“HAHA- NO WE DEFINITELY DON’T.”
Swinging onto the seat of his bike, he pushes the pedals down with all the force he can muster. Any motion he makes is stopped by a hand pulling his shirt back and he can feel his soul rising. Goodbye freedom. A wordless conversation must happen behind him as Yamaguchi sets off and exclaims,” See you tomorrow Hinata!”
“DON’T LEAVE ME.”
Yamaguchi walks just a little faster.
It’s just them two now and Tsukishima’s hand is brushing against his nape. The cold shocks him and he startles. He’s forgotten what it feels like to have Tsukishima’s hands on him. The thought makes him blush and he slaps his cheeks, willing it to go away.
“When are you going to stop this?”
Huh.
“Huh? Stop what?”
His head turns uncomfortably as he glares into Tsukishima’s very essence.
“The ignoring. It’s honestly a pain.”
Yeah this guys gonna get it.
“A pain. You don’t think it was painful when you said those things last week,” Hinata shouts angrily. The churning feeling is back and it’s about to tip over. Tsukishima’s mouth opens as if to say something but Hinata cuts him off, “I don’t want to hear your excuses or whatever bullshit you’re going to say. You said your feelings and that’s fine. But leave me alone.”
Once again there’s silence, whilst they both stare at one another.
“No.”
What?
“What do you mean no?!” His hand jolts forward and hits the side of Tsukishima’s face. The smack echoes and Hinata doesn’t regret it one bit. Wide eyed, Tsukishima’s mouth is gaped as red blooms on his cheek. He recovers quickly and storms on, “I said no. I won’t leave you alone.”
Hinata’s heart leaps out of bounds and he’s melting into the bike.
“What I said the other week. I shouldn’t have. I’m not going to say I’m sorry but-“
“You’re not even going to apologise?! What is the point of this conversation then!” Hinata scoffs and forces Tsukishima’s hand off him.
“Let me finish! I’m not used this. The feeling when you look at me, when we argue and when we kiss. It’s so strange. It’s like a breath of fresh air. You make me feel alive. So forgive me.” His lips are straight and the furrow in his brows is back.
“I can’t explain what I feel for you. Sometimes I want to throttle you because you just say the dumbest things and I think how are you even real? And then. Sometimes I look at you and you’re smiling and there’s this warmth in my chest. And I think to myself I want him to smile at me like that.”
Time stops. Everything he was hiding inside comes back full force and explodes. The tips of his fingers crackle as he leans forward and grabs Tsukishima’s collar. Tugging forward, he’s squashed between his bike and the heavy frame but their lips are meeting and sparks are flying. The flowers sing and the heat is wispy. The warmth of Tsukishima against him makes him sigh in content. His hand snakes around the back of Tsukishima’s neck and nothing has felt more right.
“I’m sorry Hinata,” Tsukishima whispers into his messy curls. Hinata just sighs and pats the side of his cheek, “It’s okay Tsukki. We’ll be okay.”