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Shachi sat in the alone in the mess — silent save for the ambient hum of the Polar Tang — forlornly stirring butter and scallions into his grits.
Fuuuuuck, was he bored.
Shachi loved his job. He loved his crew. And he knew he had the best captain in the four seas. But Law was uptight and allergic to fun and nothing had happened in weeks. The routine and calm was making Shachi itchy.
The last interesting thing to happen was Rosi joining the crew, and Captain managed to even make that boring. Dropping off the radar for a week (Always going off on his own! Leaving his crew behind like some lone wolf bullshit. Shachi wanted to punt his head into the sea) before showing up again like a stray cat, with a larger, clumsier cat in tow.
Law had cornered Shachi and Penguin the same day he brought Rosi aboard, scowling and preemptively threatening them. "I want you on your best behavior. I mean it. If you do anything to scare Cora-san away I'll dismember and disseminate you so thoroughly it would take a thousand years for you to be put back together."
As far as threats from their captain went, it made the top ten. But worse, in terms of likelihood of Law actually following through on it, it was a top five. Maybe even top three — not good.
So Shachi had been on his best behavior, which was boring as hell. This Rosi guy seemed nice and all, if pretty quiet. Attentive when shit was being explained to him, which was better than Shachi could manage most days. Absolutely huge. And hilariously, he was the clumsiest motherfucker Shachi had ever met. Which was awful, because Shachi couldn't even take advantage to prank him properly.
Shachi sighed, lamenting his life.
"Damn, that sounded heavy," Penguin said from behind him, causing Shachi to flinch and bang his knee against the underside of the table.
"Guh," Shachi replied.
Penguin dropped onto the bench next to Shachi, quickly followed by Ikkaku and Kujira joining them on the other side of the table. Damn, he was off his game this morning if he didn't notice that many people coming into the mess. Ikakku and Kujira didn't seem to notice, too intent on discussing their plans for the next poker night.
Penguin took a long pull of coffee before nudging Shachi. "Something on your mind?"
"Not especially," Shachi shrugged. "Just not a lot going on lately."
"It's kind of nice, not having anything dangerous or dramatic happening for a bit," Kujira said mildly.
"Not unless you count Captain's new recruit," Penguin said.
"Huh? How does that follow?" Ikkaku asked.
"A big dramatic, right? Captain disappearing and showing up with another giant dude?"
"Oh, are we talking about fresh meat?" Clione asked as he joined them, setting his bowl and coffee down before swinging a leg onto the bench.
"Be nice, I like him!" Ikkaku said, elbowing Clione.
Clione elbowed back. "I like him too, but no one gets to skip crew hazing."
"Even if they're a giant," Shachi added.
"Did J.B. get hazed? I don't remember," Ikkaku asked.
"Naw, too much shit was going down when he joined," Shachi replied. "Plus, he can't fit in half the Tang. It feels bad to haze 'im."
"It took us like 4 months to source enough material to make his boiler suit, so that was kind of like hazing?" Kujira mused.
"It doesn't matter anyway," Penguin said, waving a hand, "Captain's suuuuper protective of Rosi-san. He might kill us if we tried."
"What're you talking about?" Kujira asked.
Shachi moaned dramatically, slumping to the side. "Captain threatened Pen 'n me the day Rosi boarded that we have to be on our best behavior. Fuckin' sucks."
"I dunno, that sounds kind of on par for Cap," Clione said.
"No, you don't get it. It was weird," Penguin insisted. "It wasn't his usual shtick, acting like he's irritated with us. He seemed almost like..."
"Begging," Shachi added, wrinkling his nose.
"Desperate," Penguin corrected. "Like he really needs this guy to stay."
It was quiet for a moment as the Hearts contemplated a begging, desperate Law, when Clione broke the silence. "You're so full of shit."
"Am not!" "Fuck you!" Penguin and Shachi yelled, simultaneously enough it was difficult to tell who said what.
"Do we know if Cora and Cap knew each other already? Or what's the deal," Ikkaku asked Kujira, ignoring Clione squabbling back.
"No idea," Kujira replied.
Ikkaku shoved Clione back with an arm across his chest and caught Penguin's eye (Presumably. It was hard to tell with the hat) "Did Cap and Cora know each other already?"
"Uh, it'd have to be from when Cap was a kid, or from one of his bullshit lone wolf quests," Penguin said. "I don't remember ever seeing Rosi-san before."
"Rosinante-san does seem weirdly close to Captain for a new crew member," Kujira murmured.
"Right?" Clione said, turning to Kujira. "It was like, a month before I saw Cap crack a smile when I joined, and I think it was a month after that that I had a real conversation with him. What's so special about this guy?"
There was a sudden thump and clatter of dishes as Bepo roughly dropped his tray on the table next to Penguin. It might've been difficult for the average person to tell with his bear-ish features, but with Bepo's cheeks puffed and his nose wrinkled, the crew at the table realized he was pissed. (No one was terribly alarmed though - pissed by Bepo standards was mostly just kind of grumpy).
"Whoa, what's going on Bepo?" Penguin asked. Everyone leaned in, eyes on Bepo.
Bepo huffed, opened his mouth as if to speak, before huffing again and snapping his jaws shut. He took a dramatic swig of his coffee, before finally exclaiming "Rosinante-san is stealing Captain!"
"What?" Shachi said, chorused by the confused but appropriately attentive crew members.
Bepo huffed a third time. "Captain is on deck napping with Rosinante-san!"
"What!" Shachi exclaimed, once again chorused by the rest of the crew.
Napping together was Bepo and Captain's Special Bonding Activity. It was the most casual the crew ever saw their Captain. The fact that the new guy was encroaching on the baby-of-the-crew's turf was a serious breech of norms on the Polar Tang.
"He's not even appreciating Captain's profound trust!" Bepo cried, flexing his paws anxiously. "He's just reading the newspaper! And smoking!"
"Okay, something is definitely going on with Captain and Cora," Ikkaku said. "We need to get to the bottom of this."
"I can't believe you can get away with calling him Cora," Shachi groaned. "Cap nearly took out my eyes when I tried."
"Get on my level, coward," Ikakku said. "But focus! This needs investigating."
"Does it?" Kujira asked. "Is it really our business?"
"Of course it is!" Ikkaku exclaimed. "Cora is a new variable to crew dynamics — we have to understand the parameters of Cap and Cora's relationship so we can act accordingly." She paused. "As a crew."
"So you can see if you can exploit it you mean," Kujira muttered.
"I'm in. I want to know what Rosi's deal is," Clione agreed. "He's not cute like Bepo. Why would Cap nap with a grown-ass man."
"Cap will murder us slowly and painfully if he finds out, but we're in too," Shachi said, shaking Penguin's shoulder. Penguin gave a thumbs up.
"Alright," Ikkaku started. "Let's all try an' observe Cap and Cora interacting without letting them know. We need to reduce as many variables as possible to see how they interact naturally."
"A little creepy but alright," Shachi murmured. Penguin elbowed him and Ikakku threw a balled-napkin his way.
"We'll meet back here in a week and compare notes."
It didn't take long for Shachi to get the opportunity to observe Law and Rosinante. It would be more accurate to say the opportunity was thrust upon him.
Later that same day Shachi and Law met to go over Shachi's weekly operating report. They tended to meet in the mess so Law could grab coffee and sp Shachi had room to spread out his various readings and documents.
Shachi was in the midst of giving Law his report, flipping through one of the paper piles before pulling out a sheet wave in front of his captain. "Tanks one, three, four and five are all operating at full efficiency, but we're still cycling out tank two nearly every-other day — oh hey Rosi," Shachi said before stopping himself as Rosinante approached.
"Don't let me interrupt," Rosinante said, dropping a full tray on the table. "Law said I could listen in to get familiar with the Polar Tang's systems."
"Yeah, no problem man," Shachi said distractedly, eyes bouncing from his Captain to Rosi and back again.
But as Rosinante tried to fold his insane legs under the mess table, he immediately banged his shin, causing the table to shudder and coffee to slosh over the side of his mug. Rosinante winced and cursed, trying to mop up the coffee with the single napkin he had brought. Shachi would've sympathized, if the guy hadn't just got coffee all over his fucking print-outs.
Law sighed, muttered "Room" while grabbing a fork and dropping it in Rosinante's mug. Then, "Shambles." The fork clattered over the papers that were now relatively dry. Rosinante peered in his now refilled mug with interest before taking a sip.
Shachi stared at him. "Dude."
Rosinante glanced back and shrugged. "Tastes normal."
Shachi shook his head and flapped his hands, mentally retreating back to his report. "Okay. So. I'm not really concerned about tank two in the short term, we don't really need it after the double capacity of five," Shachi continued. He eyed Rosi, who seemed to be taking great care to move all the plates and bowls from his tray onto the table in front of him, setting the tray aside. "Buuuut, Moose and Ikkaku want scrap it entirely and re-arrange things so what's now the maintenance supply closet can be freed up to be expanded personal effects storage."
Law made a considering noise. "What do you think?" he asked.
Shachi launched into his spiel, laying out the pros and cons, potential ramifications, etc. etc. He vaguely noticed Rosinante listening politely while slowly eating his meal.
Then suddenly it took all of Shachi's impulse control not to react when Rosinante made a pleased noise and nudged a plate towards the Captain. Shachi kept talking, wanting to see where Rosi was going with this.
Law glanced Rosinante's way. Rosinante briefly raised his eyebrows. Then — Law, just as casually, picked up one of proffered onigiri and took a bite.
Hm. Hmmmmmmm.
Well that's definitely interesting, Shachi noted as he continued to lay out the cons of Ikkaku's proposal.
The crew was always fighting a war of attrition with their captain to get him to sleep better and eat regular meals. The fact that Rosinante seemed to join in without any prompting was interesting. The fact that Cap so easily caved was shocking.
Shachi continued his report, starting in on the navigation systems, while his eyes flitted back and forth between the two men across the table. Law finished his rice ball and went back to sipping his coffee and listening to Shachi's report. Rosinante continued to slowly make his way through the meal. Then — Rosi moved a half-full bowl of vegetables to Law's elbow. Law took a carrot, eating it almost absently. He took another. Rosinante grabbed the veggie bowl to drop a few tomatoes into a salad, pushing a plate of grilled fish towards Law to make room to set the bowl aside. Rosinante tucked into his salad. Less than a minute later, Law grabbed the abandoned fork from his coffee-shambles-stunt and shamelessly speared off a large piece of fish and stuck it in his mouth.
Rosinante made a noise of outrage, mouth too full of greens to scold his (new!) captain. Law just raised his eyebrows back, unrepentant.
Shachi realized he must've paused too long when both his Captain and Rosi turned from each other to look at him.
"Uhh. Yeah." Shit. "So. Where was I? The propulsion systems? Yeah."
Okay, so Shachi wasn't the best at covert observation. It's not like he had a choice in sharing the table with the subjects.
Shachi continued his report, winding his way through the major departments as his eyebrows climbed higher and higher with each bite and stolen morsel his Captain took.
This was definitely making it's way back to his co-conspirators. He had to find Penguin, asap.
Penguin didn't know what to make of their new crewmate, which was unusual. Typically when Captain saw fit to add someone to the crew, it was Shachi and Penguin's job to ensure they felt welcomed and figured out how to best integrate them into the well-oiled machine of the Polar Tang.
But Rosinante didn't exactly... fit.
He was nice enough. Willing to talk when addressed but more prone to quiet. A bit too tall to comfortably move about the Tang, but that didn't stop J.B., so. He was apparently a decent marksmen, knowledgable about most seas and islands that spoke to direct experience over book learning, and had a tendency to appear silently behind people and scare the ever-loving shit out of them.
But Rosinante had no particularly useful experience in medicine or engineering, and he didn't appear to be an especially strong fighter like their Captain. He was too clumsy to be trusted with regular janitorial or cooking rotations. In the end, Penguin asked him to spend time with Clione in hopes he might fit in with comms.
Rosinante gave Penguin the distinct impression that he desperately wanted to be liked and useful to the crew, and that he had no especially interesting back-story or history, ("It's all very boring and nothing really of note, but tell me about the island you're from Penguin, it sounds very interesting. Sounds like a winter island? How long have you been on the crew? Oh, since the beginning?")
Normally that amount of deflection would raise alarm-bells for Penguin, if it wasn't for the fact that his Captain seemed to know more about the guy than he was sharing. Penguin hoped his Captain's trust wasn't misplaced, but considering how distrustful he was by nature, surely he had good reasons?
It was in the middle of third shift and Penguin was heading over to confirm their trajectory with Hakugan when he overheard voices. Loud voices. Angry voices?
Penguin paused to listen, trying to place the raised voice. It wasn't familiar, but more than that the man in question was yelling the kind of vulgarities Shachi would use — and this was not Shachi.
"That's fucking bullshit and you know it! You got less than four last night and I'm pretty sure it was only two the night before!"
The reply was indistinct, but in a calm, low voice. If Penguin had to guess, it was his Captain. But who was he arguing with?
"Oh yes I'm sure it's real pressing too. Does your commanding officer need that paperwork on his desk first thing in the morning?" There was a brief pause before the man started yelling again, and Penguin finally clocked the voice. "You're a pirate captain for fuck's sake! Isn't your lot all about freedom to do what you want or whatever? What's so urgent it can't wait?"
This was Rosinante? Where'd that mellow, eager-to-please persona go?
His Captain was replying again when suddenly there was a screech of metal and a bang.
"Hey!" That was definitely Captain.
"Come 'ere you little —" Another thump.
"Room!"
"Don't you dare —!"
"Shambles!"
There was the telltale sound of the Captain's powers, then Rosinante yelling in incoherent rage. Then more sounds of a scuffle and furniture being abused.
"Stop it! I'm the captain!"
"You're a brat up past his bedtime!"
Penguin didn't know whether to be delighted, impressed or horrified by Rosinante's gall. He thought only Straw-hat could get Cap to act like a child, but Rosi-san certainly seemed to be full of surprises.
There was another wordless bellow of rage and cry of "Shambles," and suddenly Penguin was no longer alone in the corridor. Law was red-faced, his half-open shirt was rucked to one side, a heavily wrinkled sleeve telling the story of Rosinante's tenacity.
Penguin could see the moment his Captain noticed him, his eyes flickering in surprise before narrowing to match the scowl on the rest of his face. Behind him his office door swung open silently. Law didn't seem to notice, too busy emphatically jerking his thumb behind him, then slicing the same thumb across his neck to silently communicate to his officer: "Say a word about about this and you're dead."
Unfortunately for his Captain, with his back turned and his adversary supernaturally quiet, he was easily ensnared by Rosinante's superior reach.
"Fuck!" Law cried as gangly limbs bore him aloft. Rosinante looked triumphant, briefly holding Law under his armpits before tossing him over a shoulder.
"Put me down right now Cora-san!" his Captain manfully shrieked, but he made no attempt to use his devil fruit to escape. Rosinante cheerfully waved to Penguin before turning away with a pep in his step, assumedly to enforce the doctor-recommended eight hours upon their Captain.
As Rosinante turned a corner with his human luggage and Penguin heard an "OW!"; presumably Rosinante managing to bang Captain's head on one of the low-handing ducts.
Hm. Maybe that will knock him out long enough to catch eight hours.
Ikkaku liked Cora. He was polite and wore cute make-up sometimes and would always offer to help around the Tang (Even if he sometimes tripped and made a mess).
Ikkaku liked Cora but right now he was pissing her off.
They had been seven or eight hands into poker night when it had started to become apparent that Cora was winning a suspiciously high number of hands. Despite knowing the unspoken accusation would be rude, Ikakku had scooted away from Cora, thinking he might've been using his height to spy on her cards. Noticing her move her spot on the floor of the rec room, Kujira, Rakko, Jako and Hakugan followed suit.
No effect. Cora was still winning too many hands. The Hearts played mostly for favors, trading dish duty or the like, and Ikakku didn't like how many favors he was collecting.
She tried studying his face, hands, body, but he gave nothing away. His face was like staring at a grim mask. It was actually a little unsettling. Cora seemed like a sweet guy, but with his height and deep set eyes and wide, frowning mouth, he looked a little... intimidating? But he was also wearing his garish red lipstick and a slightly more tame baby blue eye paint he had started to wear more lately - it made it a little hard to be intimidated.
They were using Ikakku's favorite Sea King-themed deck, and only her and Kujira were dealing, so he wasn't manipulating the hands that way. Cards up his sleeve? His sleeves were rolled up. Ikkaku was subtly checking for any reflective surfaces when she caught Cora perking up from the corner of her eye. She was still trying to figure out whether it was a tell when her Captain's opened the door to the rec room.
The Hearts froze, staring up at their Captain who was still framed in the doorway. Poker wasn't forbidden on the Polar Tang, but Law rarely partook in anything that could be considered a vice, and so the crew took to downplaying their own. Thus the Hearts had an unspoken agreement to keep poker nights on the DL from their Captain.
Long seconds passed where no one said a word, until Cora broke the silence with a wide smile. "Would you like to be dealt in Captain?"
Their Captain gaze shifted to their newest crew-mate, seemingly considering the question, before he broke. "Sure."
'Whoa!' Ikakku immediately turned to Kujira, eyebrows raised meaningfully. 'Captain never joins in poker!!!' Ikakku tried to convey with her eyes. 'What could this mean?!'
Kujira stared blankly back. Ikkaku sighed, defeated. No matter how many times she tried to get meaningful-silent-communication going with her fellow crew-mates, she had yet to achieve anything on the level of whatever the hell Penguin and Shachi had going on.
Ikakku started shuffling again, eyes darting from her captain to Cora. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than their Captain joining them on the floor of the rec room in the first place.
But as she finished dealing the card's Cora's bright smile only slightly dimmed - his resting bitch face didn't come back. Interesting. Ikkaku glanced to Kujira, who was busy looking at his own hand. Ugh, why were none of her nosier crew-mates here, she could at least make significant eye contact with them!
Captain won the next hand. As Kujira passed around the next round of cards, Ikkaku realized Cora was fidgeting. He was tapping a finger idly against his cards, eyes slightly darting around the room. Jako won the next hand, followed by Captain again. Ikakku was shuffling the cards when Cora attempted to start up the conversation that had been lacking the whole game (Maybe that was Ikkaku's fault, she usually nudged her less talkative crew-mates into conversation, but she was busy attempting to uncover Cora's inexplicable poker powers).
"So... if we play for favors, what happens when Law loses too many hands?"
"Captain's never actually played with us before," Rakko replied, eyes flickering interestedly over to his Captain.
"Ooooh, what if —" Ikkaku started, "What if whoever wins the most hands gets to be captain for a day?"
"Not happening," Captain immediately shot down. "I don't want to risk the Tang's engines exploding because of one of your 'enhancements,' Ikakku. Or find the medical supplies have been reorganized by island of origin or 'likelihood Shachi will get an injury that necessitates the use of it.'"
Ikakku scowled. She was still chipping away at her Captain's reticence against her proposed enhancements, and this sounded like a set back. And picking on Kujira's preferred choice of fun was mean!
"Do you never assign yourself the janitorial rotations?" Cora asked the Captain.
Ikakku scoffed. "No he'll do it. He just half-asses it by using his devil fruit to swap garbage and dirt with whatever's handy."
"Captain, please stop wasting cotton swabs by Shambles-ing them to clean," Kujira moaned, tugging on his braids. "It fucks up the inventory and then there are loose cotton swabs everywhere. Just let the rest of us clean."
"I didn't know my help with cleaning was so under-appreciated," Law groused, re-arranging his hand to hide his fluster. "Raise."
"Fold," Ikakku grumbled and set down her hand. She tsked when Jako and Rakko followed.
"Call," Cora said, but pursed his red lips in a disappointed moue when their Captain won handily with a pair of tens.
"Are we allowing Captain to win or what?" Ikakku moaned.
"Or maybe I'm just good at poker and the reason I didn't join in before was to avoid crushing my crew's self-esteem," Law threw in with a smirk.
"Before this Cora was destroying us," Ikakku sighed, enjoying seeing her Captain twitch at her casual use of Rosinante's special nickname.
Law squinted a suspicious look up at Cora, who had yet to win a hand since their Captain joined. Cora smiled guilelessly back.
"I swear you used to have a better poker face," Captain muttered.
Despite the strong start, by the end of the night Cora lost so many hands that he ended up owing everyone a number of favors.
She had no proof, but Ikkaku was convinced Cora had let Captain win. Very, very interesting...
Okay, shit. This wasn't good. No no, that's not fair, having a skilled crew was always good. Sure, at this rate Rosinante might end up taking Clione's job, but it's not like Clione'd be kicked out of the Hearts, right?
Right???
Penguin had pawned Rosi off on the Comms unit as soon as he got through vetting him. Penguin'd made it sound like Rosi has no other skills to offer, and not that he was some sort of walking encyclopedia of ships and relays and Marine secrets and advanced tactical subterfuge. What the hell.
The Comms unit was really just Clione. Iwana and Gray supported with radio and snail monitoring shifts. Otherwise it was just Clione that maintained the radios and snails, futzed with other acoustic devices, documented Marine and other private crew frequencies for information gathering, and spent hours decrypting messages. His crew helped of course, but when his Captain wanted get his hands on some sensitive information, Clione was who he came to.
Clione was proud of that. And Rosinante was about to blast him out of the water!
The first indication that Rosinante might be gunning for his job was during Clione's guided tour of the modest Comms room just off Control. He had pointed Rosinante to a chart of common Marine ship frequencies, and Rosi had immediately spotted a gap in his list and rattled off the corresponding frequency Clione had been missing.
"Damn," Clione muttered, grabbing a pen to scrawl the new frequency on the edge of the chart. "Are there any other frequencies—"
But Clione was interrupted by a delighted "Aaah!" from Rosinante, who had spotted the snail enclosure that was partially hidden by the Comms room's door. "Oh my, you have so many black den-dens! And is that a horned den-den? Look at the size of this tank!" he exclaimed.
Clione couldn't help but preen at Rosinante's enthusiasm. While his crew-mates did tend to be impressed by Clione's den-den mushi set-up, none of them had had this strong of a reaction.
"Yeah, it took months, but I convinced Cap to let me retrofit the existing closet space into four separate tanks so I could have specialized spaces. This tank is quarantine for sick den-dens," Clione said, purposefully pointing it out. He didn't want Rosinante to think he was a bad den-den keeper. "Most of our den-dens were cheap or neglected den-dens I found on one island or another and then nursed back to health."
"That's so smart," Rosinante breathed, sticking his face close to the quarantine tank to peer at a scrawny blue-shelled den-den with a respiratory issue that Clione found a few weeks ago.
"Pu-puuuu," it coughed.
Ha! That's right I'm smart! I'm a goddamn fountain of good ideas and ways to save money on snails.
"Do you also take care of Law's den-dens?" Rosinante asked. "I almost didn't spot the baby mushi in his tank because the adult was so huge."
"I know, hilarious right?" Clione laughed. "Cap's adult den-den is definitely our biggest. Cap takes care of his own den-dens mostly but I check in on them sometimes, or borrow the big guy when I need some serious distance." Clione unlatched the nursery tank's door and pulled out one of the babies. "When I first joined the Hearts the first thing I did was convince Captain to invest in a long-range den-den mushi. It's nearly doubled since then if you can believe it."
Rosinante's eyes went wide and round when Clione held up the baby cupped in one palm. It was a nearly translucent white den-den with a mottled gray shell, still too small to even catch a signal. The den-den yawned. "It's so small," Rosinante whispered.
"Wanna hold it?" Clione asked, pushing the little snail forward, feeling generous, but Rosinante started waving his hands frantically.
"No no, it's too fragile, I don't wanna crush it. Or what if I drop it?" he said, shaking his head emphatically.
"Your loss," Clione shrugged, but in his euphoria of talking den-den shop with someone who got it, he had forgotten how fucking clumsy Rosinante was and was secretly relieved he had turned him down.
"I know the den-dens are the best part, but let me finish the tour," Clione said as he returned the baby den-den to it's enclosed.
But longer the tour went on, the more Rosinante chimed in with insightful and frightfully well-informed opinions about the Marines, intel about pirate crews that well above the Hearts weight-class, and suggestions of techniques Clione would never have thought of on his own. Gone was the good-will from their den-den mushi bonding; by the end of the tour Clione had sweated through the pits of his boiler suit while Rosi smiled at him, absolutely clueless of the havoc he was wrecking on Clione's psyche (Or was he?! This guy already knew too much! Was he a spy too??).
At least if Rosi took his job the den-dens would probably be well taken care of. If he didn't accidentally drop them. Fuck!
He had Rosi start with reading their latest logs to get a feel for how they operated. Within five minutes he came back to Clione to point out a recurring phrase from a transcript from a Marine vessel that had passed two weeks ago. At the time it had gone unremarked upon in Iwana's notes, but Rosinante told Clione that it was actually a code word for political prisoners.
"No shit?" he said casually as he could.
"Do you want me to tell you if I see anything else like this?" Rosinante asked with a polite smile.
As much as he wanted to kick Rosinante out to preserve his Comms supremacy, Clione would always put the Hearts' interests over his own. "Why don't you start a list and I can read through it once you've gotten through some of these. Then I can pull any older logs that might be worth reviewing again against any info you have."
AGH, this guy was too good!!
After half a shift Clione let Rosi off for the day. His reward for letting his weird new crew-mate audit his logs was three pages of horrendously scrawled notes that Clione could already tell were worth much, much more than their weight in gold.
Clione spent an hour comparing Rosi's notes to his own list of marine call-signs (why were they so obsessed with food-based code words? Taiyaki for Warlord Jinbei, really?), before deciding he had earned a coffee break.
Clione was in the kitchen just off the mess mixing an ungodly amount of sugar into his coffee when he overheard voices.
"I shouldn't be surprised, but your crew is terrifyingly efficient," Rosinante's voice floated from the main mess.
Clione sipped his coffee and put it down to add more sugar, vaguely curious about Rosinante's comment.
"What were you expecting?" came his Captain's response.
Clione stopped stirring his coffee and paused to listen.
"I suppose I didn't give it much thought. But your crew's so friendly! Marines are all discipline and chain of command but you make them look like children in comparison." Rosinante paused. "Actually, maybe that's a bad example. I remember what you were like as a child."
Oh?
His Captain snorted. "That's not the compliment you think it is. You forget I was a Warlord. I've seen enough to be unimpressed by the whole institution."
"I'm just saying. Maybe it doesn't mean a lot coming from me, but I'm proud of you."
Nothing was said for a few moments. Clione realized he had been holding his breath when he heard his Captain say, low and quiet, "Thanks, Cora-san."
Whoa. Okay, this is some gossip-worthy stuff. Rosi and Captain definitely had a past. And Captain sounded so affected by Rosi's praise, Clione was almost embarrassed for him.
Coffee fixed, Clione dithered in the kitchen. He can't come out and interrupt now, Captain was practically having an emotion!
But then there were steps followed by the tell-tale a squealing of the mess's swinging doors, and Clione was alone.
At least he had something worth reporting to Ikkaku.
"Okay, what did everyone find?"
Ikkaku put the word out to the involved crew to meet in the mess to debrief at lunch, the least likely meal for Captain to participate in. Kujira dejectedly poked at his stew, unable to evade Ikakku, resulting in Kujira getting pulled in to the group discussion despite his insistence that "I'm didn't spy on the Captain or Rosinante-san and I don't want my name in the mud when this inevitably blows up in your faces."
Penguin and Shachi dragged Bepo with them, and Clione showed up last. "I asked Rosi to organize the comms archive from our allies. It's mostly Luffy's insane messages to Cap, but it should keep him busy for a bit."
"Oh, I love the Luffy files, can I borrow them to re-read when Cora's done?" Ikkaku asked.
"We're still talking about Rosi-san and Cap, right?" Penguin asked before taking a big bite of sandwich.
"Me first!" Shachi yelled, but was immediately shushed by the group. "Me first," he repeated in a conspicuous whisper. Penguin elbowed him and kept eating.
"Last week when I was giving Cap my weekly report in the mess, Rosi joined us at the table right and brought a ton of little plates of food and tricked Captain into eating."
"Okay. How?" Ikakku asked.
"Uh, kind of just by offering, I guess?" Shachi thought. "He offered him onigiri, which he took and ate. Which was kind of a miracle, Cap never takes food from me. But Rosi just had a bunch of food out and let Cap pick off the plates? I watched, he ate practically a full meal."
"That doesn't really sound like he tricked him," Kujira said.
Hakugan appeared at Kujira's shoulder carrying his own tray and stepped over the bench to join them. "What you are guys talking about?" he asked.
There was beat of silence before Kujira sighed. "Don't try to get him involved, but I don't think Hakugan's gonna snitch."
Penguin and Shachi gave each other a silent look (Ikakku silently stewed in jealousy) before Penguin added, "Promise not to tell Cap?"
Hakugan shrugged. "As long as it's not gonna piss off Captain."
Silence reigned for several seconds before Hakugan gave in with a sigh. "As long as it's not gonna hurt Captain."
Clione reached across the table to clap him on the shoulder.
"I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?" Hakugan muttered to Kujira. Kujira grimaced as a reply.
"We've been spying on Cap and Rosi to see what their deal is," Shachi told Hakugan. "Rosi tricked Cap into eating food by leaving it out for him like a stray cat."
"That's... good? That Captain's eating? What do you mean 'their deal'?" Hakugan asked.
"Cap and Rosi are being cagey about how they knew each other before Rosi joined the crew and we want to know more," Clione said between a mouthful of sandwich.
"Doesn't really seem like our business, but I guess that doesn't stop this crew," Hakugan sighed.
"Captain napped on Rosinante-san and it's suspicious," Bepo added.
Hakugan silently regarded Bepo for several seconds, before replying. "Ooo-kay. I guess?" Kujira patted him on the shoulder.
"Well Kujira, Hakugan and I saw Cora let Captain win at poker!" Ikakku cut in.
"What!!" Shachi screeched. "You got to play poker with Cap!!"
Ikkaku nodded smugly while Shachi moaned about the missed opportunity.
"How did he let Cap win at a poker game when there's other people?" Penguin asked.
"Cora was kicking our ass at poker before Cap came by and he invited him to play and then started losing hard."
"Huh," Penguin said.
"Rosinante-san has a surprisingly good poker face actually," Kujira couldn't help adding. "But he dropped it as soon as Captain joined."
There was a few seconds of silence as the crew who were not in attendance of the poker night in question contemplated Rosinante's poker face.
"I overheard Rosi telling Cap he was proud of him. And Cap said thank you," Clione threw in.
"Sounds fake," Shachi replied reflexively.
"I know! But it was real and heart-felt and I had to listen to it," Clione shuddered. "Also Rosi mentioned something about Cap as a kid so that's something. And I guess he was complimenting the rest of us or whatever."
"Or whatever," Penguin snickered, before adding: "Well I overheard Rosi-san and Captain arguing."
Clione and Ikkaku ooh-ed with interest; Bepo looked horrified. As Penguin described the incident, the table looks more and more delighted by their Captain's plight before finally breaking into laughter. Shachi actually banged a fist on the table despite having already heard the story.
"Rosi looked so proud of himself too!" Penguin finished with a shit-eating grin. He wanted to immortalize that look on Captain's face when Rosi picked him up for posterity forever and ever.
"Then what happened? Did Cap Shambles away or what?" Clione laughed.
"No! He let Rosi cart him off to bed!" Shachi cut in with a cackle.
"Okay, that's actually crazy," Ikkaku said, banging the table once herself. "Does Cora have dirt of Cap? What's their deal!"
"I can't even imagine that happening," Hakugan said. "Penguin you aren't shitting us, are you?"
"On my honor, man! You can even ask Rosinante!"
"What honor?" Clione heckled.
"On Shachi's life then."
"Hey!"
Bepo harrumphed. "It's not fair that Captain let's Rosinante-san take care of him but not us." When everyone turned to look at him he wilted a little. "Sorry."
"He does seem to let Rosinante-san get away with a lot," Kujira acknowledged.
"Oh!" Ikkaku exclaimed. "Oh, I get it!"
Everyone's eyes jumped from Bepo to Ikkaku, eyebrows raised (Though none actually visible given the hat, mask and fur situation of the table's occupants).
"So Bepo's the crew baby, right? Cap lets Bepo get away with more and treats him a bit like a little brother a bit, right?" General nodding occurred. Ikkaku continued confidently. "So Captain lets Cora get away with taking care of him, because Cora has big-brother privileges!"
No one leapt to agree with her right away, which seemed to annoy Ikkaku based on the looks she gave them, but almost everyone at the table screwed up their faces in thought.
"I mean, I guess that makes sense," Hakugan said.
"It would make sense if Rosi knew Cap as a kid," Penguin added. He didn't seem happy about this.
"No! If anyone should get big-brother privileges it should be me n' Penguin! We're older and've known him the longest!" Shachi protested.
"I don't think you get to be the big brother when you've been saved by him as many times as you have," Hakugan replied.
"I think Ikakku's right," Clione added. "Makes the most sense anyway."
"I'm totally right," Ikkaku replied. "But what does this mean for the crew?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" Hakugan asked.
Kujira sighed. "She means how can we take advantage of this."
"We gotta bring Cora more into the fold!" Ikkaku insisted. "If Cora has big-brother privileges, then we should see how far that goes and what it means for the crew."
"Oh, I get it. Bully Rosi into getting us more shore leave," Clione nodded along.
"No, not bully!" Ikkaku cried, hitting him. "Ask nicely! Honey and flies, Clione, he won't trust us if we bully him."
"Okay, do we let him know our plan, or...?" Penguin started, but Ikkaku shook her head vehemently.
"No, we gotta control as many variables as possible so as not to invalidate the results," she said.
"Is this human experimentation?" Clione asked Shachi in a low voice. Shachi shrugged with a grin. "Probably."
Ikkaku smiled beatifically at the rest of the table. "Now we gotta test our theory. I have a few ideas, but I'm open to suggestions."
It had taken some time for Rosinante to get a read on Law's crew. They're such a friendly group that at first Rosinante had been shocked that such a dour man would surround himself with so many extroverts. But it all made sense once he realized that behind their fun-loving antics the whole crew was exceedingly talented and deeply loyal to their Captain.
(Though the matching uniforms were a little much, even for him. And he had been a Marine.)
Rosinante had felt welcomed as soon as he stepped foot on the Polar Tang, but it was only in the past week or so that he had started to feel like he was actually integrating into the crew. But what he didn't expect was that he was perhaps integrating a little too well.
"Rosinante-san! I didn't see Cap at breakfast today, can you bring this tray up for him?"
"Rosi, sorry to ask you this, but could you pass this report to Cap? I'd do it but he's still pissed about — uh, something I may or may not have done, and I like my head where it's at, youknowwhatImean? Thanks man!"
"Hey Rosi-san! This island is really great, huh? I wish we could stay another night. Cap's been looking a little run down, don't you think? He almost never relaxes when we hit land, he's always managing the ship and crew. Hey... do you think you could talk to him about taking some time off? I bet he'd listen to you."
It was like a switch had flipped overnight; Rosi went from newcomer learning the ropes to the crew's go-to Captain wrangler. He had tried not to be to obvious about his attachment to Law, but perhaps he had not been sufficiently circumspect. But it's just so exhilarating having Law right there, in arm's reach, all the time! He has to fight the urge to pick him up and squish him to his chest multiple times a day.
Rosinante was having a late lunch alone in the mess, contemplating the sheer volume of Marine intel the Hearts had accumulated over his luke-warm stew. Sengoku'd have kittens if he knew. Rosinante did his best to fill in some of the blanks for his new.... commanding officer? (Is that what Clione was? He'd have to ask) — but he couldn't help but feel a stab of guilt with every Marine secret he gave up.
Rosinante had vaguely noted the squeal of the mess doors during his musings, but didn't realize how many people had come in until they had descended upon his empty table en mass. Shachi and Penguin flanked either side of him with Ikkaku, Clione and Bepo settling in across the table.
(Rosinante was a little afraid of Bepo. He was the only crew member Rosinante had yet to win over and he couldn't figure out why. Those big beady eyes only seemed to have contempt for him, but were tearfully deferential to everyone else. What was Rosinante doing wrong!?)
"Cora! We were just talking about you!" Ikkaku started with an earnest smile.
"Good things I hope?" Rosinante replied. This was definitely a set up, but for what.
"Of course!" She replied. "Clione and I realized — it's been almost 2 months since you've joined and we never had a proper welcoming party for you."
Rosinante shoulders dropped a few degrees. That was actually a reasonable explanation for why he was suddenly cornered by some of the crew. Even if Bepo's stare was a little intense.
"Oh, that's nice, but I don't really need anything though. Just happy to be here."
"No no! We love an excuse to party," Ikkaku dismissed. "It's only..." She pouted, looking away for a moment. "It's just Captain is really strict about parties, especially after the last one we threw for J.B."
"We tried to get J.B. drunk with drinking games," Shachi cut in. "But the party ended early cause Cap had to use his powers to fix the blood alcohol of like half the crew."
"Uh," Rosinante said. Oh no that was so alarming.
"Yeah, not our finest moment as a crew," Ikkaku said, "But! We still think you deserve a welcoming party. We just need to get Cap on board."
"I'd rather defer to the Captain's judgement in this—" Rosinante started.
"Nonsense!" Ikkaku interrupted. "Captain won't say no to a welcoming party. He might just need some persuasion for... the catering, so to speak."
"Ask him for booze!" Shachi exclaimed, nudging Rosinante.
"You'd like a BBQ on the deck, right man?" Clione added.
"What about a chocolate fountain," Ikakku said, "We could get one at the next island, I bet. You'd like that right Cora?"
"I like chocolate," Bepo added under his breath. "Sorry. Um."
"You gotta ask Cap for a chocolate foundation Cora. For Bepo," Ikkaku wheedled.
"Oh! We should get an ice sculpture! Cap would totally go for an ice sculpture for Rosinante," Penguin said, nodding right in Rosinante's face. "You'd like an ice sculpture, right Bepo?"
"Maybe?" Bepo said uncertainly.
"An ice sculpture of Bepo!" Shachi yelled.
"I think maybe just a modest amount of booze would be okay?" Rosinante tried.
"Naw man, we got to go all out for new crew," Shachi pressed. "How will you know you're part of the Hearts? We set bunch of dynamite on an empty island and let Clione blast the cannons at it till it exploded for his welcoming party."
"Yeah. The explosions really made me feel like a part of the crew," Clione said nodding along.
Rosinante felt a trickle of sweat run down his back. Maybe he misjudged this crew. They might be talented and friendly but he was starting to think he might've thrown his lot in with a bunch of reckless arsonists.
But.... Bepo did seem interested in the chocolate fountain. Maybe this party could help him finally get on the Mink's good side?
He winced, imaging trying to convince Law to get an ice sculpture of Bepo.
"I'll talk to the Captain," Rosinante conceded. "I'm not sure he'll agree but it doesn't hurt to ask, right?"
"Yes!" Ikkaku exclaimed. "You deserve the best party Cora, we've got to go all out!"
Rosinante smiled hesitantly at his pleased crew-mates, hoping that the level of peer pressure he was being subject to was a fluke. The Hearts weren't like this all the time, surely?
Later that week, Ikkaku gathered her co-conspirators for a debrief in the mess, raising her voice to be heard over the dinner rush. "I think we can call this operation a success," Ikkaku said haughtily. "We've definitely figured them out."
"I mean, I guess?" Clione huffed, stirring his curry, "I still want to know how they know each other."
"The important thing is we know how to use Cora to our advantage. He's proved his mettle against the Captain," Ikkaku replied, unwilling to be derailed from her triumph.
"It was a good party, but we didn't get an ice sculpture of Bepo..." Penguin muttered sadly.
"Ikkaku, maybe we shouldn't be trying to manipulate the Captain," Kujira tried.
Shachi nudged Kujira. "Does manipulating the Captain to get more beer count as mutiny?"
Suddenly, the swinging doors to the mess slammed open with an jarring crash as Bepo came barreling into the room. He scanned the mess briefly, looking agitated, before he beelined for the conspirator's table with a stumbling stride.
"Whoa! Bepo, you alright?" Shachi exclaimed. The occupants of their table leaned forward to take in their crew-mate. Bepo was panting with his mouth open, rows of sharp teeth exposed, seemingly struggling to catch his breath.
"Something wrong Bepo?" Penguin tried.
Finally, Bepo took in a huge breath before yelling, "CAPTAIN WAS KISSING ROSINANTE-SAN IN THE MEDICAL STORAGE! WITH TONGUE!!"
All heads in the room turned and suddenly everyone in the mess was shouting at once in a chorus of shock and incredulity. Crew members shot up from their tables in agitation, leaning over table tops or extricating themselves from benches to gather around Bepo and demand more details right now.
The chaos did not have long to gather steam before the men in question appeared. A second bang of the mess doors revealed their Captain in damning dishevelment, with a glimpse of their newest crew member just behind him — slamming his head on the top of the door frame and falling backward, before the doubles doors swung closed again to hide him from view.
"CAPTAIN!!" everyone yelled.
Nobody crowded their Captain like they crowded Bepo, but there was no need. Hat conspicuously missing, their Captain's hair was stuck up every which way at dramatic angles. His shirt was completely unbuttoned and heavily wrinkled. But most damning of all were the brilliant red smudges radiating from his mouth up to his cheeks and then down to his neck, chest...
While the murmurs of gossiping crew members swelled, Ikkaku jumped up on a bench to reach Bepo's eyes and covered them her palms, twisting her ahead around to stare aghast at her captain with the rest of her crew.
"I already saw them Ikkaku!" Bepo complained. Then: "Sorry."
Shachi pointed an accusatory finger dramatically at their Captain before declaring: "Bepo saw you macking on Rosi-san! What do you have to say for yourself!"
At that moment, the mess doors squealed opened once more, this time revealing a lipstick-smudged, forehead-bruised, red-faced Rosinante. "Uh."
There was a brief moment of silence, as everyone's eyes were on Rosinante and Law, waiting to see what their Captain would do. Then someone wolf-whistled from the back and all hell broke loose.
"I can explain!" Rosinante cried.
"Floozy! Captain-seducer!" Shachi yelled back.
Their Captain grit his teeth and snarled, "That's it," before grabbing up a butter knife from a nearby table.
"Fuck!" Shachi yelled, trying to escape into the modest crowd, but it was too late.
"Room! Amputate! SHAMBLES."
Penguin shrieked as his head ended up on Shachi's knee, his and Shachi's bodies jigsawed and re-arranged into an avant-garde sculpture. "I didn't fucking say anything!!!" Penguin cried.
Kujira and Ikkaku slipped behind a whimpering Bepo, clinging to the back of his boiler suit for security.
"This is why I didn't want to get involved Ikkaku!" Kujira hissed.
"This isn't even related!" Ikkaku hissed back. "Though it does mess up my plans."
"What plans?! Wait, no don't tell me, no more plans!" Kujira moaned, tugging on his own pigtails.
"Um, Ikkaku-san?" Bepo murmured, twisting his head to try and catch her eye.
"We'll obviously Cora's not a big-brother figure if he's making out with Captain," she continued. "Cap's gonna be way more sensitive about a lover, so we gotta go about things way more carefully."
"Ikkaku-san..." Bepo tried.
"Bepo, shhsh! I don't want Cap to notice us when he's in a tizzy," Ikkaku said, finally acknowledging Bepo.
"Um. Sorry," Bepo muttered. "But. I think Captain noticed you."
"Ikkaku..." came her Captain's irritated drawl.
Ikkaku and Kujira froze from their spot crouching behind Bepo, before peeking around either side of their Mink-shield.
Their captain's fierce scowl was undermined by the blush heavy enough to be visible on his cheeks and ears despite his dark skin. Rosinante loomed behind him, large hands completely enveloping his face in apparent mortification.
"Ikkaku. I don't know what you're up to but stop asking Cora-san for weird shit," Law growled. "Unless you and Kujira want to end up like Penguin and Shachi."
Despite his earlier cries, Penguin's arm waved merrily at them from the top of Shachi's head, that was stuck to the middle of what might've been Penguin's torso. Given the uniforms it was hard to tell.
"No! I'm just bystander, get Clione!" Kujira begged.
"You rat!" Clione yelled back before ducking to hide behind Uni.
"I don't want to get jumbled up with Clione," Ikkaku cried. "We're not close like that! If I have to be jumbled make it Kujira. Please Cap."
"Law, please stop jumbling people," Rosinante begged. "Can you and your crew be normal for five minutes, please."
"Hey! You're crew too buddy! You be normal!" Shachi yelled, unable to make eye-contact with his head oriented towards the floor.
"ENOUGH!" their Captain thundered. All the bickering, gossiping, crying stopped.
"I don't want to hear any gossiping, name-calling or otherwise harassment of Cora-san. If I hear anything, you'll have shore leave revoked and be on janitorial duty scrubbing toilets for weeks."
For a moment, nobody moved. Law looked around the mess at this crew. "Is that understood?" he barked.
"AYE-AYE CAPTAIN!" everyone cried (except Rosinante, who looked slightly bewildered while still hiding his face behind is fingers).
"Spread the word to the rest of the crew," Law said. He turned around and grabbed Rosinante by the wrist. "Don't bother me unless it's an emergency."
With that he tugged an off-balance Rosinante behind him as he exited the mess, only pausing long enough to ensure Rosinante had properly ducked to fit under the door.
No-one said a word as the double-doors swung closed. The silence lasted all of ten seconds before Shachi broke it. "Is he going to come back and fix us, or...?"
"Law, slow down!"
Law had Rosinante by the wrist, marching down the corridor at a rapid pace that even Rosinante's long strides had trouble keeping up with. He only stopped after hearing a thud and quiet curse from Rosinante. Rosinante was bent over grabbing one knee where he had bashed it against some hardware jutting out from the submarine's walls.
"I'm sorry Cora-san," Law sighed.
"Oh, it's not your fault," Rosinante replied, smiling down at Law. "I would've hit something no matter how fast I was going."
Law shook his head. "No not that. I'm sorry the crew has been harassing you."
"What!? No, they've been fine!" Rosinante cried. "Sure, some of them got a little intense about that party... But they all love you. And they've on the whole been very welcoming to me."
"Are you sure," Law asked. He searched Rosinante's face. "I know you wanted to keep us quiet from the crew."
"Just at first!" Rosinante protested. "It's fine that they know. I was just, you know. Nervous how they might react." Then Rosinante winced. "I guess the reveal could have been worse." God, being walked in on by the one crew member who didn't like him...
"They'll be fine," Law replied. "They're just nosy. And excitable. I can't tell you how many people they've tried to set me up with." He sighed, his gaze going distant. "If anything they'll probably be too happy about this once things calm down."
Rosinante shrugged, smiling a little. "You know them best I suppose."
"I do," Law said firmly. "And you know you too." He made a little pulling gesture. "Now come here."
Rosinante bent over, leaning more and more before finally going on his knees when Law kept gesturing him lower. Law grabbed his face in both hands and brought it to his own. Rosinante's eyes fluttered shut as Law kissed him hungrily, deep and slow like he couldn't care less if any of his crew got an eyeful.
Eventually Law pulled away. Rosinante opened his eyes and blushed the want he saw reflected in Law's eyes.
Law eyes flicked down to lips made messy with smudged rouge. "Now. Do you want to come to my room so we can pick up where we left off?"
Rosinante smiled. He could survive a thousand party planning requests, grumpy Minks and gossiping crew-mates if it meant he could stay by Law's side. And sometimes, share his bed.
"Yes please."