Chapter Text
The submarine was groaning as the pressure of the blood ocean pushed down on its hull. The waves were rocking it even as it was stagnant in the murky depths. Simon looked around the dim and cramped SM-13. Heat seeped into his skin, making it harder to breathe the dank air. He was unsteady on his feet, his iron grip on the chair kept him from falling. Feeling sweat roll down his face he hastily wiped it, but that did nothing to help with humidity. Even no longer wearing that ragged coat it was scorching in this goddamn submarine. There was no escaping the ever present heat. Simon felt certain if he stayed here too long that his flesh would melt off the bone. He’d become part of the blood ocean, trapped, just a drop in the bucket of the boiling tide. His life having amounted to nothing.
The speaker crackled to life as Ava’s voice sharply cut through the static, “convict, get a move on! We don’t have all day to get this done!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, plopping down on the uncomfortable chair and urging the lever forward. Heard the Iron Lung groan and screech as it shuddered forward at his command. He knew there was no escaping this rusty prison. The lights flickered before the room went completely black. Fuck.
The submarine stopped as he abruptly let go of the lever. He struggled to breathe as he looked around the space… trying to make out things in the shadows. It almost looked like things were moving as his eyes struggled to adjust. The faint glow from the camera’s button barely illuminated the panel. Trying to stand his head made contact with hot metal, hard. He winced, collapsing into the chair. Feeling behind him for the panel his hand made contact despite how far away it seemed. Blinding light flashed for a split second, before the inky darkness shrouded the space again. Fucking fuck.
He saw the green oxygen light blink. Great… that’s just great. He took a deep breath, trying to remember how to breathe evenly. Reaching up he brushed his hand along the ceiling of the sub, and flinched when he found how close it was. Part of him knew, subconsciously, that it hadn’t been that close before, but doubted his memory. A pipe hissed and steam burst out against his forehead. He swung his arm back and hit the button again. Blinding light flashed again, letting him see for just a second again before sinking back into the darkness.
Feeling around blindly, he cringed as the speaker came to life directly in his left ear, “Convict, what is the hold up?! Get moving, now!”
He growled in indignation, “The fucking lights went out! Give me a second!”
“I don’t care if the lights are out! You’ve got a job to do!” Ava yelled at him.
He hunched over the console, there was no longer space to move, the panel pressed into his back. He tried to pull his arms away only to find they were chained. The restraints were warm… too warm. Yanking at his arms he found struggle was pointless. The darkness was slowly suffocating him, whatever had his arms was pulsing. Simon felt it dig into his skin. He struggled more, trying to pull his hands away from the console. He felt something drip on his forehead, and trail down his face. The light from the camera flashed again as he saw that they weren’t chains holding his hands in place but veins. The console was no longer metal but something made of rotting skin and blood. He screamed and thrashed, trying to rip his arms away but the veins wormed their way under his skin. Fusing them together, making him become part of this thing.
The speaker was much quieter this time as a new voice came through, “Simon?”
The voice was kind but there was a twinge of concern lacing the tone. Why did that voice sound familiar? It didn’t matter! He thrashed more only to find his body was stuck to the chair now. The feeling of something snaking up his legs sent him into a frenzy. He started kicking at whatever it was, the hold on him only tightened.
“Simon, you’ve gotta wake up!” The voice was trying to help him. Instinctively he knew it, as he closed his eyes. Wake up, Simon! Wake up!
Simon shot up in bed, panting heavily. The sheets were soaked with sweat, the blanket twisted around his legs. He kicked it away in frustration. Another nightmare… this one felt so real. He was so tired of these incredibly realistic horrors night after night. He white-kuckled the sheet, twisting it up from the mattress trying to convince himself that this was real. The bed shifted slightly, and someone reached out putting their hand on his own. He jumped, yanking his hand away, prepared for the mystery person to hurt him. When he looked up he saw Ryland looking at him, worry etched in his features. His blonde hair was a mess, sticking up every which way. He must’ve just woken up, Simon thought guilt gnawing at his gut.
“Are you okay?” Ryland asked, softly his voice was still thick with sleep. He reached out again, insistent on holding his hand. This time he didn’t resist, the touch was grounding.
Simon sighed heavily, rubbing his thumb along Grace’s palm, feeling the callouses to help remind himself this was real, “Fine, it was just a nightmare.”
“You screamed in your sleep, I tried to wake you sooner but I don’t think you could hear me until just a second ago,” he explained, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not right now,” he shook his head, “I’m sorry… for waking you.”
Grace looked surprised by that for a second, he was always taken aback by Simon’s perceptiveness. “It’s okay, really,” he assured him with a gentle squeeze to his hand, “I just… wanted to make sure that you were okay.”
The guilt was still settled heavy in his stomach, but he nodded in acknowledgement. Ryland already didn’t get enough sleep and knowing that made him feel worse. He also knew arguing the point would go nowhere, Grace was too selfless for his own good. It was something that had aggravated Simon when they first met, but now it was just a fact he had no choice but to accept. Sometimes it still aggravated him!
“Thank you for waking me,” he muttered softly, trying for a smile to show Grace he was okay. He let go of his hand, and Simon hated the loss of touch but would rather die than admit it. He still felt too vulnerable being seen like this after a night terror.
He looked unconvinced as he stood up. “Yeah.. I mean you’re welcome… you’d do the same for me… or I guess I hope you would… wait, no that sounds bad. Ugh, I’m gonna go make us breakfast to avoid sticking my foot further in my mouth.”
Simon chuckled at his awkwardness, “I’ll meet you down there.”
He watched as Ryland headed downstairs, clearly still kicking himself for his rambling. He looked around the well lit room, the artificial sunlight (Eridanilight was what Grace insisted on calling it), filtered in through the xeonite windows. The light sent rainbows dancing across the floor. It was such a small thing but everytime he saw a rainbow he was awed by it. They were such a foreign concept to Simon that the first time he saw it he’d thought it was a hallucination. Grace had been beyond giddy to explain the science of rainbows to him. He smiled fondly at the memory before getting up and making his bed. The rumpled sheets were still a mess that needed to be untangled and he made sure to check the fabric for tears. It had been an adjustment learning how to do things with one arm, but Simon had been determined to figure it out.
Rocky was working on a new prototype of a prosthetic, despite his insistence it worked fine. Fine wasn’t good enough (to Rocky at least), it had to be perfect. This wasn’t the first time that Grace and Rocky had given him a gift and he was sure that it wouldn’t be the last. Simon hadn’t ever anticipated that anyone would do something like this just for him. No one had ever shown him any amount of kindness… not since his mother passed. It always took him aback how genuinely kind and good Ryland is. He kept thinking that something would make him hate Simon, but so far it hadn’t happened… yet.
Simon shook his head before heading downstairs to start the day. Ryland was in the kitchen making them breakfast just like he said. He was humming as he moved around the space, comfortably. He loved watching him like this, appreciating the way his hair looked like it was glowing from the morning light, making it look like he had a golden halo. He looked ethereal even while doing something mundane. He listened to the melody that Grace was humming. Music was something Simon hadn’t heard in such a long time before he was rescued. The C.O.I. didn’t see any point to it, but Eden cherished music. The hymns were something he loved learning as a child, and loved listening to his mother sing them especially.
Ryland’s music was very different from any hymns he’d heard. His songs were optimistic, full of joy. Those were the kinds of songs that Grace liked to listen to, ones with messages of hope. What a fitting choice for an angel.
“Uh… Simon?” Grace was looking at him now, his glasses perched precariously on the edge of his nose, “Breakfast is ready if you’re hungry.”
He realized that he’d been caught staring and quickly went over, “Thanks.”
“Mhm.. of course,” so he wasn’t going to say anything about the staring apparently, just handed him a plate, “Let’s see how me-bacon is”
“What the hell is bacon?” Simon looked at the plate in confusion, seeing the aforementioned meat. He knew that all the meat was made of cloned muscle tissue from Grace. It had taken him a little while to get over that hurdle before he was willing to try it.
Ryland laughed, the rich sound filling the space. He loved when he laughed, even if it made his chest ache with something indescribable. His bright blue eyes crinkled at the edges in his mirth, “Well, it’s a meat that’s usually a little fattier and is often eaten for breakfast. I’ve been excited to try it.”
“You sure love to experiment” Simon commented as he grabbed his nutrient shake from the counter. They sat down together at the small table, with Armando hovering nearby. He was still unnerved by the thing but Grace had grown attached, he’s sentimental (which Simon found endearing).
“I mean can you really blame me? There’s so much opportunity for scientific discoveries!” Ryland grinned, “I mean this isn’t exactly something new but it’d open the door for more options than me-burgers… not that I mind them at all!”
Simon couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “Ryland.”
He looked at him, surprised, “Hm?”
“You don’t have to justify yourself to me,” he shook his head, still amused by the other man’s need to overexplain everything.
“Sorry,” he muttered, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, “I’m worried the Eridians will take offense to it, y’know?”
“I don’t think they’ll really care,” He hummed thoughtfully, “Eat, you’ve got class to teach soon.”
They ate in relative silence before Ryland had to rush off to teach his students, leaving Simon alone with his thoughts and the empty feeling that always came once Grace was gone. The nightmares were getting worse, and started to feel too real. Part of him longed to talk about them, but with who? Grace was the most obvious choice but he carried so much weight on his shoulders already, that he couldn’t add to his load. Even if the man would take on the extra pressure with a smile. He really was an angel, so willing to give every part of himself to anyone who needed some grace. He stood and cleaned up from breakfast before heading outside to his own personal sanctuary: the garden.
There was a light sea-breeze that cooled him off, when he stepped outside, it was sunnier today than Grace usually liked it. That was mostly for the plants, but Simon loved the brighter days. The brightness of the days switched off everyday since the biodome had two people for the Eridians to keep happy. They figured it was only fair to switch off. He walked along the path toward the greenhouse, looking over the cliff at the beach down below. He always stopped to watch Ryland walk the last stretch to his makeshift classroom. Today he ended up staring out at the sea. The clear water was sparkling in the light as it rolled onto the rocky shore before pulling back out again to repeat the cycle. There was serenity to the way this ocean moved. For a moment Simon stood still to just appreciate the beauty of this place. His anxiety started to ebb away with the sound of the rolling waves. He closed his eyes and focused on the way the artificial light warmed his skin, how the breeze carried the salt from the ocean, the firm feeling of the ground beneath his feet. Opening his eyes, he felt just a little bit lighter than before.
There was something about working outside that always helped ground Simon, getting his hand in the dirt helped remind him of what was real. The garden was lush with a surprising variety of vegetables that had been on board The Hail Mary. There had even been a few tree saplings that were currently in the greenhouse. Despite the fact he wanted to plant them right away, there was some small part of him that was nervous they wouldn’t survive. He hadn’t anticipated that any of the plants would survive, really. Plant life was only a fantasy in his world, the ability to grow food had died out with the stars and planets. He had only ever known the tree of Eden before Ryland had brought him forth to his salvation. The fruit it bore was forbidden, until you came of age and even then you were only allowed a single bite. It was far too precious to waste. When the tree started dying, that was the first sign, it stopped producing fruit.
The Eridians were eager to plant the trees, wanting to learn how to care for them, study them and replicate more for the biodome. It was only a matter of time before they took matters into their claws and planted the trees without him. Maybe he should let them help, and surprise Grace this time. The greenhouse and garden had been a gift for him, something he’d never be able to repay. He never knew what to do with such kind gestures… and felt that he didn’t deserve them. Even still he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve this.
“Simon!” A slightly robotic voice called to him, he recognized it right away as Rocky.
He stood from where he’d been kneeling and turned to see Rocky rushing along the path carrying a case on his carapace using one of his arms to balance it. He wiped dirt off his hand, walking to meet Rocky halfway to avoid any plants getting trampled in the Eridians excitement. “Is that my new and improved arm?” He asked, looking at the size of the case.
“Yes, yes, yes!” Rocky held up the case, “Simon new arm, Rocky fix!”
Simon smiled at how excited he was, opening the case and pulling out the new prosthetic. Truthfully the last one had been fine, but Rocky was a perfectionist. He knelt down and let the Eridian help him attach it. It was all technology that he wasn’t able to grasp but he was able to move the arm just like his old one, he just was unable to feel anything with it. Rocky and Ryland had both explained it to him, but it wasn’t really something that he expected to understand. He’d come to accept there were just a lot of things he’d never know.
“Test, test,” Rocky insisted once it was ready, “Make sure work”
He opened and closed the hand a few times to make sure it worked properly, moved the fingers individually. “I think the delayed response is gone now,” He said, thoroughly impressed by the work.
“Happy, happy, happy,” He moved two of his arms to show his excitement (a gesture Grace called jazz hands), “Rocky work hard, want Simon arm perfect.”
“Thank you,” he reached out and patted the top of his carapace through the xeonite suit, “It’s amazing.”
“Simon like? Question,” Rocky tapped one of his arms on the ground twice.
“Yes, Simon like,” he said assuringly. He appreciated how much time Rocky had put into this, that he cared so much that he liked the prosthetic.
“Good, good,” he reached out and tapped the arm, “Simon tell Rocky if problem.”
He nodded, and promised, “I’ll tell you if anything is wrong with it.”
“Simon need help? Question.” He started walking towards the garden, being careful where he stepped.
“No, not today,” he said following the Eridian. He considered asking for help planing the tree saplings, but he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet at least.
“Eridian scientists want study plants again,” Rocky informed him, “Want track progress, so can learn how make more plants”
“That’s fine they’re welcome to come study them,” Simon looked around the garden, “I’d love it if you could make more.”
“Simon seem distracted,” he noted, stomping his claw in the dirt, “What on mind? Question.”
“It’s not important,” he immediately tried to deflect. This wasn’t something he wanted to tell Rocky about. Mainly because he would tell Ryland.
“No understand. Why Simon hide feeling? Question,” He turned his carapace in a gesture similar to when Grace tilted his head. When no answer was forthcoming, Rocky asked, “Simon feel comfortable if talk to Adrian? Question.”
He hadn’t considered that before, but Adrian was probably the best option for him to talk to. They were more private, willing to keep things to themself, and he was certain that if he asked they would keep their discussion a secret. “You think they’d be willing to talk to me?” He asked, looking down at Rocky.
“Adrian good at listen,” Rocky insisted, “Will listen to Simon if Simon ask.”
“Yeah… I think that’s a good idea,” he nodded, “I’ll talk to them.”
“Rocky go get Adrian,” he patted Simon’s leg before heading off, to get his mate.
He couldn’t help but wonder if this was a good idea. If keeping this a secret from Ryland would come back to haunt him later. He would tell him, he promised himself. Just… when he was ready.