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MONTREAL, MISCONCEPTIONS, AND MOVING ON.
Shane Hollander, MLH.
July 10th 2026
theplayerstribune,com/posts/shane-hollander-mlh-hockey-ottawa-centaurs
[header image: the back of a black hockey jersey, the players arms spread wide in celebration, the name HOLLANDER and the number 24 in white, outlined in red centres the image. Fans can be seen in the background, cheering.]
—
I didn’t write one of these when my time in Montreal came to an end, mostly because I was devastated by what had transpired, by how over a decade of feeling a part of something bigger than myself could so easily implode. So I left quietly, moved back home and started afresh with a new team and a new husband by my side.
I don’t regret it for a second, and I’m glad I didn’t let myself unleash all the hurt I was feeling following the conclusion of our 2021 playoff run. I knew then that I would regret it later, and sitting here writing these words half a decade later, I know it was the right decision. It’s for the best that I waited, that I let the old wounds scab over, even if they’ll probably never fully heal.
In preparation for writing this I looked back at my own stats - it’s not something I do often, because the only statistic I truly care about is the number of Stanley Cup rings I have amassed (it’s five and counting by the way, because I’m not done yet.) And it was whilst looking through these numbers that I realised I hold all the rookie records for Montreal. Every single one. There is no doubt in my mind that if I'd played my entire career there as I intended, I would've probably held all the other major records too - most points, most goals, most assists, and maybe the same accolades for playoff stats too.
I don't say this to be cocky or conceited, I say it to prove I was willing to give everything I had to that city, to that team, and to those fans. I wanted to be a legacy player, I wanted to be The franchise player, I wanted people to hear Shane Hollander and think only of Montreal and the success I was able to bring to the city.
[image: twenty-four year old Shane hoisting the Stanley Cup for the first time - he is without a helmet and grinning, the cup above his head. There are no other players in the shot.]
I know that won’t be the case now, I know the people there will hear my name and think traitor, cheater, and in time that will probably morph into overhyped and overpaid too. I can’t control that, but what I can do is finally tell my truth, my full truth without any polished media politeness, and without a hint of shame.
I have had enough of that to last me a lifetime, and now, as I sit here in the warm summer sun on the bank of a lake in Ontario, I finally see that I deserve the opportunity to be honest for once. That I deserve to let go of the fear and secrets that have plagued me for the last fifteen years.
It’s clear to me that the hockey world has a preconceived notion that me falling in love with Ilya Rozanov is the cause of all the drama that has occurred in my career over the last few years. That notion is entirely false. The actual truth is that the hockey world has never known a Shane Hollander who wasn’t in love with Ilya Rozanov. Before either of us ever stepped foot onto the ice to play an MLH game, we were already something.
Something that soon became everything.
Through every game and cup win, every face-off and board battle, every goal, assist and penalty minute we were quietly, secretly (so secretly that we denied it to ourselves, even,) loving each other. It took us seven messy years to figure our shit out, and it was even longer before we could be open about that love, but it was never falling for Ilya that caused the drama. It was always the fear of everyone else finding out and their reactions to it.
[image: nineteen year old Shane and Ilya facing off against each other and laughing for their first CCM promotional shoot.]
I know, just as Ilya does, that us being together has only ever made us better players, has only ever made us push harder with the desperate need to one-up one another. To beat one another. Even now we’re on the same team nothing has changed, and I know our teammates will certainly attest to this - usually with long suffering eyerolls and deep sighs as we drag them into another sprint, another drill, another scrimmage, just for another chance to win.
It’s part of what makes us great, and I know that without Ilya pushing me to be better, faster, stronger, my career in both Montreal and now Ottawa would be much less storied.
All of this is what made my departure from Montreal and the circumstances surrounding it such a difficult pill to swallow.
My teammates accusing me of cheating, an entire city booing me out of arenas because I tripped - a mistake as simple and awful as that, suddenly eclipsed every achievement, every cup and every game winning goal. Every overtime breakaway and every power play tally suddenly meant nothing, because of course I would throw a game for Ilya. Of course I would trip in front of millions of people and humiliate myself just so my partner could progress in the playoffs.
It’s been five years, and the insinuation still stings.
And truly, I could’ve probably accepted it from the fans - they’re passionate and they’re intense and they demand the best. They deserve the best. But knowing my teammates, my brothers, could think that of me? I knew instantly it wasn’t something we could ever come back from. A hockey locker room runs on trust, and once you lose that room? As a captain or a coach? There is simply no turning back.
Looking back now it’s difficult to watch myself, to see the way I walked out of that team and that city with my tail between my legs - like I had something to be sorry for, like I was just as guilty as everyone perceived me to be. I wasn’t, but I was also exhausted and overwhelmed and just wanted to stop making waves, so I didn’t rock the boat. I let the media peddle whatever narrative they wanted, and retreated to my cottage in rural Ontario. Wrapped myself up in planning a wedding with my fiance and eating home cooked dinners with my parents.
[image: Shane and his parents posing on the dock at the cottage, Anya jumping up at Shane and making him smile, despite the exhausted look on his face.]
I can see so clearly now how broken I was by the whole thing - by being outed and then ostracised by the team and the fans that I thought would always love me. I can see how the career path I’d pictured in my mind being shattered into a million pieces cut deeper than I even realised at the time.
It’s taken a lot of effort, persistence and love from both Ilya, and my new teammates, to start to put those pieces back together, to build a new future and a new dream, and I truly cannot thank any of them enough. For their patience and their love yes, but mostly for their belief in me.
It took a long time to trust and accept, but I know now, without question, that every guy in that locker room has my back, that I have their respect regardless of me not being their captain, and that no headline or accidental trip could ever be scandalous enough for them to turn on me. It’s refreshing in ways I can barely articulate.
And well, I think the proof is in the pudding that a happy, cohesive team is also a successful team. Our back-to-back Stanley Cup wins are a testament to that, as is our steady, consistent roster.
[image: the entire Centaurs team surrounding the Stanley Cup on the ice, Shane and Ilya are at the centre of the frame and everyone is holding up two fingers for their second cup win.]
I have won a lot of things in my career, from my first trophy in mites at age eight, all the way up to the Calder, Conne Smyth and the Hart in the MLH, but none of them mean as much to me as these last two cups. To win beside people you love is like nothing else in the world. To do it with your husband by your side is simply beyond words.
It is incomprehensible to me now that I once tried to deny myself that love. That I was once willing to hide away and hurt the man who has stood by me through it all just to continue to fit in with a team who would never have my back. Not really. Not once the going got tough. It was a hard lesson to learn, a brutal few months of betrayal that I thought I’d never get over, but somehow, despite the way it still stings sometimes, I have. I’ve come out the other end and my life is more incredible than I ever could’ve imagined.
Once upon a time being the best player to ever wear a Montreal jersey was how I saw my legacy, was the ultimate goal that I was always striving for.
Now, I truly don’t care if I never score another goal or notch another assist.
All I care about these days is being a good teammate, a good leader, and a good person.
I hope when people look up my name in the future the most notable footnotes are about my charity work with the Irina Foundation, and how I hopefully helped to make the game a more open and inclusive place.
[image: Shane, Ilya, Hayden Pike, Wyatt Hayes, and Scott Hunter all on the ice at one of the Game Changers camps, a group of kids all perched on one knee and looking up at them for instruction.]
Honestly, I never dreamed of being a role model for queer players, in fact, for the first ten years of my career I wanted the exact opposite - I wanted to push that part of me down so deep that no one would ever even find out. I wanted to hide and deny and worst of all, I wanted Ilya to do the same. I wanted us to never come out whilst we were actively playing, and I planned to keep us both locked in a closet of my own shame until we were retired and far enough removed from the game that hopefully no one would even notice.
But, thankfully, plans and dreams change.
Being outed was awful and traumatic, but it opened my life up in ways I could’ve never even imagined. Getting to love my husband out loud has been the greatest joy of my life, and I hope when all is said and done, the queer kids of tomorrow might look up at us and think ‘I can do that too.’ I hope they see that Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were two of the best to ever do it, and that us loving each other only ever made us better.
As people.
As leaders.
And above all else, as hockey players.
[image: Shane and Ilya kissing against the boards after Shane’s game winning overtime goal that cemented their first cup win together, their teammates can be seen in the background making a beeline for them.]
#24 Shane Hollander-Rozanov.
[image: Shane’s signature]
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The Players’ Tribune ☑️ @playerstribune
Shane Hollander, five years on from leaving Montreal: “The actual truth is that the hockey world has never known a Shane Hollander who wasn’t in love with Ilya Rozanov. Before either of us ever stepped foot onto the ice to play an MLH game, we were already something…” Show More
Ottawa Centaurs Official ☑️ @ottawacens [retweeted The Players’ Tribune ☑️ @playerstribune] Everyone should take five minutes out of their day to read this. We love you, Shane, and we're so proud to have you out there battling for us every night ♥️
Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @Ilyaroz81 The best, most beautiful husband, and second best hockey player on our team!!!! So proud of you moya lyubov and so happy to watch Montreal never win another playoff game ever again!
Wyatt Hayes ☑️ @hazygoalie so happy to play beside you brother, mostly so I don’t have to stop your goals anymore! also yes i can confirm - you and roz are absolute competitive freaks and playing together has not changed that 💀
Troy Barrett ☑️ @tbarretthockey Seconded!!! Also love this, Shane.
Zane Boodram ☑️ @bigbadbood thirded… 😵💫 so glad you’re our freak through Hollzy!
Luca Haas ☑️ @LucaHaas fourthed?? That is probably not a word but I agree!! This was very brave of you to share, Shane ♥️
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Sally 🏒 @censgurl4life okay i knew whatever went down between shane and the voyageurs was bad but hearing it directly from him like this? fuck i feel so fucking sad for him all over again 😭
Roz’s Wing Woman @irozhere Hey Voyageurs, it’s on fucking SIGHT. Honestly amazed Roz hasn’t actually murdered every member of that team. Fuck, poor Shane.
Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @Ilyaroz81 Is only because Shane will not let me. Instead I murder them on scoreboard 😈 they go home crying, I go home with sexy husband. Is win/win!
Roz’s Wing Woman @irozhere Holy fucking shit???????? What is HAPPENING!!! I MURDER THEM ON SCOREBOARD??? SEXY HUSBAND???
lucy loves shane!! @hollanderhi Okay i love Shane sm obvs, but there is no way he actually wrote that whole thing himself right? I c u mama Hollander and Harris Drover.
Harris Drover🌈 @H_Drover I helped with a few VERY minor tweaks and a couple of formatting suggestions, but other than that this was all Shane and he deserves all the credit. So incredibly proud of you bud, @ShaneHollanderHockey24 🥰
Hayden Pike ☑️ @pikeplayshockey Shane Hollander is the best friend and teammate I have ever had. I will always be sad about how things ended for him on our team, but I’m so glad you finally got to share your truth @ShaneHollanderHockey24 👊
Yuna @YunaHollander [retweeted The Players’ Tribune ☑️ @playerstribune] My boy, you have handled yourself with dignity and grace on and off the ice for your entire career, but I have never been more proud to be your mom than I am right now. I love you @ShaneHollanderHockey24!!
Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @Ilyaroz81 😢💔
Yuna @YunaHollander I love you too @ilyaroz81 so very much!!
Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @Ilyaroz81 🥰☺️💖 i love you mama!
Rose Landry ☑️ @therealrose I met Shane Hollander at a restaurant in Montreal almost ten years ago. I knew from the first moment I spoke to him that he was someone special and that I wanted him in my life. Obviously, that has evolved over the years, but what has not changed is how pure and good his heart is. He is the kind of guy you want in your corner, the kind of guy that is smart and funny and, in the right circumstances, a total goofball. (1/3)
Rose Landry ☑️ @therealrose I saw first hand how he struggled with coming out, both to himself and the people around him, and then to the whole world before he was ready. It was awful and heartbreaking, but despite that he was quiet and gracious, which is more than the Montreal Voyageures deserved. I am so glad he is finally speaking his truth and I was moved to tears by his beautiful words. (2/3)
Rose Landry ☑️ @therealrose @ShaneHollanderHockey24 I love you so much, and seeing you live as your authentic self makes me happier than I can say. You and @Ilyaroz81 have the kind of love that the rest of us are dreaming of, and I feel so lucky and blessed to stand beside you both and witness it. Let’s meet up for drinks very, very soon!! (3/3)
Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @Ilyaroz81 Come to cottage this summer!!!
Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @Ilyaroz81 Also stop saying you love my husband for whole world to see!! Is very embarrassing, he is very gay, Rose!
Rose Landry ☑️ @therealrose What??? Shane is gay??? Why did you never mention this @ShaneHollanderHockey24??? (looking at flights rn 😘)
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Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderHockey24 The last twenty-four hours have been so overwhelming, but I just wanted to take a minute to come online and say thank you for all of the love and support that I’ve received since my tribune post went live. As I said in it, I am not one for rocking the boat, and historically have been incredibly tight lipped about everything outside of hockey.
Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderHockey24 I do believe however, that for us to change and grow as a sport, some things need to be said outloud, and that was my entire motivation behind posting my piece yesterday. I don’t want to drag up old hurts or cause drama, I just wanted to set the record straight, and also thank the people around me who have supported me along the way.
Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderHockey24 So, to my family and friends who have been there for me both in private, and also publicly on social media over the last twenty-four hours - thank you. I love and appreciate you beyond words. And to @Ilyaroz81 - you are everything. Thank you for being brave and patient with me when I needed it the most. я тебя люблю ♥️