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It's not that irregular for Antonio to hear noise in the middle of the night. Romano talks— a lot. He's not afraid to say whatever is on his mind and certainly isn't afraid of making any noise as he sneaks into the kitchen (and oh boy does he do this often) to eat something.
Romano's nightly cravings can be contributed to Antonio. He's been spoiling the kid too much. Whenever he and Austria would see each other, Austria would always look at him with this weird frown and tsk whenever Romano would say something mean.
And it's true. Antonio knows it's true. But he's never been able to have too much authority over the boy. Weirdly enough, even though all the insults Romano has thrown at him, Antonio could never get mad at him or stay mad at him for too long. His doe eyes are so adorable! When he's angry too!
And— Romano’s uncanny resemblance to him. It's not something he always questions, but it does sometimes make him stare at his celling in the middle of the night. Romano is one of the only ones under his care that actually looks like him. The thought of it always makes all and any anger he's had for the kid just vanish—
Where was he, again? Oh, right. There's noise around the house. He has ruled out the just Romano being his usual self and talking in his sleep thing. Whatever he is hearing does not sound like a voice.
The sound is muffled, so Antonio can barely know what to make out of it. He sits up from the warm covers and focuses his ears. He's met with a sound of footsteps which seems to get louder every passing second. If Romano woke up to eat, he would've headed to the kitchen. So then why in the world does it sound like he's about to walk into Antonio's room?
That's when his door bursts open and Antonio sees a small figure of the boy he'd recognize anywhere. Even in the dark when his silhouette is almost invisible to the naked eye, Antonio sees Romano. He sees Romano, but also hears his faint… sobs. Before Antonio wants to ask anything, Romano is quick to interrupt him:
“You— you bastard! Don't you dare trade me away! Do you hear me?! Don't do it!”
Antonio opens his mouth to try soothing him, but he's left speechless. How does Romano know Antonio thought about this?! God! He must've overheard Antonio talking to someone about it. It's been a while since Antonio thought let alone talked about that. So why is Romano telling him this now?
“Stop ignoring me! If you trade me off I'm going to— I'm going to kill you! I don't wanna—” The rest of Romano's sentence is cut short by a loud wail escaping him. It makes Antonio's eyes widen and causes him to frown.
Did he really say that shit? Out loud? For this sweet little boy to head? He may not be considered very sweet, but he is. To Antonio at least.
How can he feel anything but the urge to hug him tightly and apologize for his words? Who knows, maybe even Romano will learn from him and apologize whenever he's being a menace as well!
When he finally finds the right words to begin, Antonio starts:
“Romano… I'm never going to do that! I'll die before I ever even think of replacing you! Why would you think that?!”
Romano ignores the question and instead only runs to jump on Antonio’s bed before proceeding to punch his stomach with his little fists. It doesn't hurt Antonio. The guilt Antonio feels in his chest while he's looking at a now even more visible Romano who's sobbing even harder, that's what hurts.
“You idiot! I heard you talking to that bastard Austria! I'm not stupid, you know?! And now… I had a… bad dream… Just— leave me alone!” Romano continues to yell in rage and Antonio doesn't have it in him to scold him for the insults he threw around. Not now. The boy needs his help and comfort now! Telling him off would only add salt to the wound, anyway.
“Back when I talked to Mr. Austria, I was not feeling good. I was in an angry mood. You know what that's like. I swear I never meant those words. I'm truly sorry, Lovino! You're always going to be my conejito,” Antonio reassures to the best of his abilities and feels Romano's punches stop abruptly. His sobs are quieter now, although Antonio can definitely still hear them.
“Still! You should watch your mouth, bastard!” Romano is telling him to watch his mouth. Well, okay then. Moving on:
“You haven't told me what your dream was about. Do you wanna talk about it?” Antonio asks as he runs his hand through Romano's hair. It's soft to the touch and Antonio recalls the washday that was around two days ago. That's one of the only times Romano is actually calm— when his hair is being washed. Not when he showers though, now that's an entirely different story.
Romano always calms down when Antonio pets him. Has been doing this since he was a literal baby! Who knows if it'll work when he's an adult as well…
“You… in the dream you sold me off to someone else and it was so scary! You also… laughed at me while I was freezing and crying!” Romano gestures and even though his expressions and hand movements never fail to make Antonio cackle, he doesn't find himself even curling his lips up slightly. He can't when the image in his head of Romano being hurt and cold and scared and him doing nothing except mocking him and laughing is vivid, as if it's real. Is Antonio really a piece of shit when it comes to a literal little kid?! It's like he only truly processed his words now.
“Oh no… Romano… Hey, I'm here now. That dream version of me is such a jerk, isn't he? I promise he's gone now. C'mere mijo,” Antonio's voice softens as Romano starts crying louder again. He just referred to Loving as… mijo. Oh well. He is, in a way. It's not like Antonio meant to say it, it kind of came to him in the moment. But if Lovino saw him that way, he wouldn't exactly mind.
Lovino shuffles around to lay exactly next to where Antonio is sitting. Antonio can't help but huff quietly and smile at the sight. It's surprising how Lovino didn't even try fighting against sleeping here or tried to argue how he's not a little baby. Sure thing.
Antonio slowly moves to lay down again after being interrupted from his slumber. He's not sure if he'll fall asleep again, but he is sure Lovino will be safe here with him. He really hopes so.
“Good night, Lovino,” he mumbles absentmindedly. When Lovino shifts closer to him, Antonio wraps his arm around him gently.
Lovino doesn't say good night back or say anything else for that matter, but he does move his tiny hand to hold Antonio's.
It's enough to make Antonio fall back asleep almost immediately.
It's been a while since Lovino last visited. After countless messages of Spain practically begging him to come to his country, crying emojis and gifs of sad puppies Lovino finally gave in. That's why he finds himself laying in his old room. Which hasn't changed one bit ever since… holy shit, has this ancient thing been the same ever since Lovino was a baby? Although this is Spain, after all. Of course he hasn't even bothered trying to throw anything out. Lovino cackles while picturing Spain looking around the room while looking for what to take and tearing up as soon as he picks anything up. Sentimental bastard.
But even though it's something Lovino would rather die than admit— he does appreciate it. He appreciates being able to look around the room and imagine himself as a kid. And the fact he was met with a lamp shining on the nightstand. That bastard remembers Lovino likes sleeping with a source of light next to him after all these years. He would be embarrassed if it wasn't one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for him.
So him letting out a small chuckle, so small is okay. It's not like anyone will hear it anyway.
The reason he's awake now, though, in the middle of the night is also reminiscent of his old days. His stomach always hurls like this at the almost exact dark hours between three and four in the night— morning? Whatever. The point is that he has to get up and eat before he starves. Some of the paella leftovers Spain made for dinner make him stand up from the bed and his mouth waters. He even swears he can smell the warmth, Hell maybe feel it melting in his mouth.
He runs to the kitchen and at this point ignores the implications of food bringing him this much joy. He was only overweight as a kid. And that was all Spain's fault!
The kitchen is finally, finally in his eyesight and he whisper-yells a yes under his breath. Before he can go check the fridge the first thing he sees is that the lights are still on. Wait, what? That makes no sense, why would the lights be on when—
He practically jumps at the loud gasp that— comes out of Spain's mouth?! Why the fuck is Spain here.
“What the… You scared the shit out of me!” Lovino yells and quickly puts a hand over his mouth after seeing Spain's face twist into a very disapproving look.
“Lovino! Don't yell! Do you not know what time it is? But… sorry for scaring you,” Spain says as he puts the glass of water that Lovino only notices now on the kitchen counter. He also only now notices the strange look on Spain's face. He dismisses it because it's probably just exhaustion from, you know, waking up in the middle of the night.
Lovino murmurs a half-assed apology and approaches the fridge to do the thing he actually wanted to— get some goddamn food!
“You never really change, do you…” He hears Spain say likely as an afterthought.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Lovino asks even though he knows. But maybe a part of him just wants to hear Antonio speak of their time before. But, he doesn't care even if Antonio doesn't elaborate.
“Oh come on, you know. Your nightly snacks! It's always been like this…” Antonio is barely keeping it together as he lets out a yawn mid sentence.
“... You should sleep, bastard,” Lovino says while turning on the microwave.
Antonio doesn't answer him for some time. Lovino counts the silence because of the timer on the microwave— 17 seconds.
He raises an eyebrow— now that is something he can't ignore. Antonio doesn't stay silent for longer than five seconds. Unless he's making a lie up at the spot or genuinely hurt.
“I'm not tired,” Antonio lies and the idiot doesn't even bother trying to pretend to hide the fucking truth.
Yeah, sure you aren't, Lovino thinks and tells him just that out loud. After that it's silence again, except when the timer ends and a loud beep interrupts it.
Lovino doesn't ask Antonio anything else after that. It's fucking pointless when he'll keep lying and refusing to tell Lovino shit. It's always been like that and at first Lovino thought it was just Antonio not wanting to worry a little kid. But as years pass the habit doesn't stop. It bleeds itself into Antonio's everyday life. Lovino knows it does, even if he's not here as often as he should be anymore. But he knows.
Lovino doesn't ask, but he does wordlessly go to sit at the table instead of going back into his room like he intended to. Something's stopping him from leaving Antonio alone right now. The fully grown man who literally raised him, that's who Lovino is worried for? Fucking pathetic.
Antonio eventually sits at the table with him and Lovino sees his eyes soften with each bite he takes.
When he's gone and at last full he throws his plate in the sink and doesn't wash it. His future self can deal with that.
He hovers over the sink for a bit, still not quite ready to leave despite his body giving him all signs he really should. Antonio doesn't say anything either, of course.
Lovino just stands there, then. Not sure what he's waiting for and growing more irritable at his legs ready to give out at any moment more and more. But would he actually be able to sleep if he went anyway? He doesn't ask Antonio, no. But he wants to. Wants to return the favor. Wants to be the one to help him instead. None of that comes, however. Lovino sinks in a deep breath and begins his way back into the room. He doesn't care that he probably won't fall back asleep. It's not like he has shit to do tomorrow. Turning on his heels, he forgets to tell Antonio good night as he leaves, but—
“Romano wait,” Antonio says and it's louder than his voice this night so far but still too quiet for his usual self. It's unnerving.
Lovino turns to face him and is the one to interrupt the apology he can see begin to form on his face:
“What is it? Tell me,” Lovino tries not to snap and sound demanding and he hopes it works. He doubts it matters how he speaks with Antonio, though. The stubborn asshole probably won't budge and will still insist he's fine.
Antonio is silent in that stupid way that makes Lovino rip his hair off again. Lovino knows something like this shouldn't be a game of getting Antonio to say something, but it sure as hell feels like it.
“I'm…” Antonio says, his voice shaky.
“So he speaks,” Lovino says and intends on it to be teasing, but his voice cracks at the last word. God dammit.
“Romano… it's nothing special. You don't need to worry… I just… had a dream,” Antonio speaks up and his voice becomes so small at the last three words.
“You mean a nightmare?” Lovino asks and looks at the floor for a split second. If Antonio did have a bad dream, Lovino doesn't really know what he can do about it. Unlike Antonio, he's never been good at comforting others.
“Yeah, yeah. It was kind of stupid, though! Don't worry, seriously! I was just trapped in this…weird black space without any way out… it sounds even stupider out loud.”
Lovino sighs and sits back to the table, instead this time he sits on the chair closest to Antonio. Antonio's eyes widen and Lovino sees the curve of a smile forming on his face.
“...It’s not very stupid if it makes you… like this,” Lovino gestures with his hands.
Antonio chuckles and doesn't reply to that. Maybe he's finally admitted defeat. Heh.
Lovino then shuts his eyes, almost certain he'll fall asleep right here in the kitchen while sitting at this cramped chair. But his eyes open very wide at Antonio’s following words:
“Do you think I can still carry you?”
If Lovino was drinking something, he'd probably spill it. What is this guy talking about?
“How would that even work? Why are you even asking me this now? What the— hey, what! What are you doing?!”
Lovino can't say anything else when Antonio attempts to take him in his hands just like he did when Lovino was small. Well if that idiot wants to break his fucking spine, so be it.
But Antonio somehow stuns them both and, whilst struggling, still manages to pick Lovino up and carry him… wait is that not the way to Antonio's room? Whatever.
“Are you okay?” Lovino asks and it’s barely audible while he buries his head into the crook of Antonio's neck. And he definitely isn't talking only about the spine.
“I am,” Antonio replies gently as they enter his room.
Antonio makes sure to put Lovino down gently as he flops on the bed himself. When he pulls the lavender scented blankets over their bodies, he hums.
Lovino feels him shift so they're even closer. He shifts as well, moving to rest his head on Antonio's chest. Arms find their way around Lovino's back and lips find their way in his hair.
Lovino missed this he realizes in retrospect. Although he's known.
“Buenas noches mijo,” Antonio mumbles into Lovino's curls.
“Buenas noches papá,” Lovino replies and realizes calling Antonio that feels more natural than anything in the world.