Work Text:
“DAVID JACOBS!” Josef's voice erupts from the other room. Quickly I get up heading to him, terrified of what's waiting for me..
Without any warning Josef grabbed my arms roughly. The shock stops me from processing what he's said for a minute.
“Why have you left a mess?” He questions gesturing to the mess he made last night.. he forgot again.
“I didn't mean too-”
“Didn't mean too my ass!” He shouts in my face, I feel myself suck in a breath trying not to let him know I'm scared, not to let him see my shaking..if i hide it right maybe it wont last as long…
A couple minutes later I wake up next to Jack in his “penthouse”
“..Jack?” I croak out my hands coming to where Joe held me, trembling slightly.
Jack simply stirs next to me and I feel bad for attempting to wake him. Quietly I crawl past where Crutchy usually sleeps but that night he had wanted to bunk with race in his bed so he isn't there.
I struggle for a minute in the dark, my shaking form trying to find the way down from the penthouse. Eventually I make it to the ground and I quietly just walk around, walking usually calms my anxiety but…
The sound of the newsies sleeping and things creaking isnt helping.. so ill just walk farther.. I'll walk till I forget the way my name stings coming off his tongue.
The way my own name hurts me, makes me feel pain and fear…
David.
David.. Jacobs..
All that's come from that name is pain. Scars, bruises, wasted medical supplies…
Supplies that could've should've gone to my newsies. Not me….
I'm not worth the time, not worth the care, not worth the supply it takes to fix my broken body.
Every cracked lip, bruised rib, and cut wrist taken care of with gentle hands. The gentle hands of jack kelly…
The hands of the man ive seen get into fights for the newsies, the hands of the artist that spends his time painting for mama- i uh miss medda…
The hands that gently smear charcoal along my cheek while he tries to draw my nose perfectly..
I dont deserve that. I dont deserve to be that of a muse to this man, I dont deserve his gentle hands tracing the scars along my abdomen as his soft lips melt into mine letting the world around us fade into nothingness.
At some point ive stopped walking. Im not paying attention to where I am though..
“Davey?”
Davey…oh davey.. that name- soft, warm, comforting, relaxing..my name.. Davey..
Glancing up I see jack leaning over the penthouse rail to look at me..
“Yeah?” I tilt my head at him
“Why's ya out of bed?? Cmon!” He grumbles still half asleep.
Carefully I climb my way up, getting pulled to lay next to him.
“I was anxious..needed to walk”
“Ya know ya can wake me..right?” He asked using that concerned tone in his voice…God…
“I felt bad.. but i will next time promise”
“Okay.. i love ya, davey’ he smiles hugging me.
“I love you too jackie..” I lay back down with him.
Im not David to him. Im not a burden a problem a useless worthless punching bag.
To him.. im Davey, the voice, the walking mouth, the muse, the boyfriend…. The everything..