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With a gentle nudge, the door scurried open. The lights were on yet Peridot was asleep.
Lapis sighed. She always did this.
She flipped the switch off and took a seat on their bed. They had a shared bed but Lapis sleeping by herself on her hammock wasn’t a rare occurrence.
She needed her space sometimes and peridot was okay with that. She never outright said anything about it.
Once she had come up right when she was about to doze off and asked her to come to bed. Lapis told her to not disturb her sleep and shooed her off. That was all.
Today was long and Lapis was reasonably exhausted. She pulled her legs up to the soft material and let herself get comfortable. The white sheets felt silky on her body. Instinctively her body mended to her usual position, on her side behind Peridot.
She didn’t know why they slept, why they got so close but it happened every night. Peridot’s compact body fit so comfortably in her arms. Like a pillow or a blanket. She wanted to do so and doze off herself.
Peridot whimpered.
Oh. Lapis should’ve seen this coming. She was crying. Something she said hurt Peridot again. Which? She may never know. Words Peridot was okay with changed every night. Or maybe tonight it was just them arguing that did the trick. She had taken a little stroll around which had calmed her senses and really, she didn’t even remember what they argued about.
It was so pathetically obvious. She could stay silent or hold her breath as long as she wanted but the shaky breath she gave out gave it away every time. In all reality, Lapis was tired of this. If something bothers you just speak up? Was she doing this to hurt Lapis? To make her feel bad? She still stood her point.
She just laid there watching her chest rise and fall, doing her best to be silent. It all just made her more pathetic, it made Lapis want to hug the curve of her waist and admit she was sorry.
Goddamnit she was sorry. What she wanted was for Peridot to be more mindful, not this!
Turn to me, talk to me, give me the excuse to apologize. Let me get away with it by joking it off. Let me pull you in my arms. Please, anything.
You always want what you cant have and right now, the situation had her craving her small hands more than ever.
Would it be inappropriate to ask her to turn around and hug her? She wouldn't mind her crying face. She wouldn’t mind anything really. She just wanted her arms around. Their legs interlocked.
Maybe she could just do it, bite her tongue and pull her close. Worst case scenario she’d ask her to get off. Maybe Peridot would just forgive her. Maybe they would put it all behind them and wake up in eachothers arms.
…
Lapis took a deep breath and turned around, baring her back to Peridot. She could sleep easier without looking at her.