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The Accidental Consort (And Why Batarangs Make Poor Wedding Gifts)

Summary:

After returning from the dead, Jason Todd Wayne put aside his risky vigilante ways and strives to improve the lives of Gotham's residents as a civilian. He's a good son who doesn't risk his life.
Everything changes when cultists decide to kidnap him and sacrifice him as a spouse to the King of Ghosts.

Read on to learn more.

Notes:

I have no idea if this will catch on, but whatever. Tell me what you think. Have fun.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The sun streamed through the high windows of the Gotham Public Library, dancing in the dust motes and illuminating the colorful covers of children's books.
In the reading nook, perched upon a large, plush armchair, sat Jason Todd.
He wore no scrap of armor, nor any trace of his red helmet.
Dressed in a soft, forest-green cashmere sweater with thin-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, he looked like the epitome of peace and intellect.

"And then the little bear realized that the safest place in the world was in his mother's arms,"
Jason finished reading in a soft, modulated voice, closing the animal-themed picture book.

The cluster of children around him sat spellbound. A few older ones looked at him with pure adoration.
Jason Todd-Wayne was a legend in Gotham, but in this new, better incarnation. After his mysterious return from "studying abroad" (as the official press release stated), he had cut himself off from violence.
He ran the Thomas Wayne Foundation, funded scholarships for children from Crime Alley, and read stories at the library every week.

In the Wayne Manor, he was considered the golden child. Bruce looked at him with a serenity he hadn't possessed in years.
Dick hugged him constantly, proud that his brother had chosen a "better path."
Even Damian, though he grumbled under his breath about "wasting a warrior's potential," showed him a rare respect for his intellect.
Jason felt he had finally found his place. The violence of Batman and the crimes of Gotham seemed like a distant nightmare.

"Mr. Jason, will you read about the dragon again?" a little girl with pigtails asked, tugging on his sweater sleeve.

Jason smiled warmly, feeling the Lazarus Pit rage—usually pulsing beneath his skin—grow quiet in the presence of such innocence.
"Of course, Lily. About the dragon who didn't want to fight, but only wanted to bake cookies?"
Girl only noded in respond.

He reached for the next book, but at that moment, the doors to the reading room flew off their hinges with a crash that shook the floor.
The children screamed in terror, huddling around Jason.

Five men burst into the room. They were dressed in heavy black robes, their faces hidden behind eerie porcelain masks depicting faces contorted in agony.

"Jason Todd-Wayne!" the leader roared, raising a curved dagger that appeared to be made of blackened silver.
"Your pure soul, marked by death and return, is the perfect gift!"

Jason reacted instinctively. He had no weapon, but years of training had not vanished. He stood up, shielding the children with his own body.

"Get away from them!" he snarled, his voice calm yet containing a streak of steel that made the attackers hesitate for a second.

Simultaneously, his right hand reached for the watch face on his left wrist. He pressed a hidden panic button. Three quick clicks.
An emergency signal—Code Red - Kidnapping - Civilian - Help Needed—flew straight to the Batcave. Bruce, hurry, he thought, eyeing the approaching cultists.

One of them raised a metal canister. "Sleep, Sacrifice. Your master awaits."

A thick, sweet gas billowed from the container. Jason tried to cover his mouth with his sleeve, but the gas was potent. His vision began to blur; his knees buckled.
The last things he registered before plunging into darkness were the terrified eyes of the children and cold, brutal hands grabbing his shoulders.

The cultists worked fast. They placed a gas mask over Jason's face—not to kill him, but to keep him in a coma—and bound him with thick ropes soaked in a strange,
shimmering substance.
They carried him out through the back exit, leaving behind chaos and the lingering scent of knockout gas.

In the Batcave, hell broke loose.

Jason's alarm signal flashed across every monitor, pulsing a frantic crimson. Barbara, in her sanctuary as Oracle, immediately hijacked the library's cameras.

"Bruce, I have visuals!" she snapped into the comms, her voice trembling with a rare tension. "Men in masks and robes. They used gas.
They've taken Jason. The kids are safe but traumatized."

Bruce, who was finishing a toxin analysis in his Batsuit, froze. His face, usually a mask of grim determination, became a mask of pure terror. Jason.
His "good son." The one who had given up the risks to be safe.

"Everyone!" Bruce barked, his voice rolling through the cave. "Jason has been taken. Code Red. Full mobilization. Dick, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cass—positions.
Barbara, track the signal."

In record time, the Bat-family was ready. Nightwing, Red Robin, Robin, Signal, and Black Bat piled into the Batmobile and onto their cycles.
Bruce didn't care for subtlety.
He flipped the sirens and tore through Gotham's streets at speeds that shattered every traffic law.

"The tracker is active!"
Oracle reported.
"They're in the old subway tunnels, beneath an abandoned station on Bowery. They're moving deep underground."

"Deeper than the subway?" Red Robin asked, checking schematics on his gauntlet.
"There are old Prohibition-era tunnels down there... and older things."

When they arrived, they found only an empty van. They descended into the depths, bypassing levels of rot and darkness.
Jason's tracker led them to a massive, rusted door, behind which rhythmic, guttural chanting could be heard.

Batman kicked the door open.

The room was vast and circular, lit only by blood-red candles arranged in a ring.
On the floor, a complex pentagram was painted in a substance that looked like blood mixed with something luminescent.

In the center of the pentagram, on a makeshift altar, lay an unconscious Jason.
Still in his green sweater, but surrounded by cultists singing in a language that wasn't human.
Above him, suspended in the air, a swirling portal churned. It wasn't a portal to Apokolips, nor anything Batman recognized.
It was a vortex of ectoplasmic green, pulsing with a cold that froze the heroes' blood.

Ghostly green tentacles reached out from the portal, wrapping around Jason's body.

"JASON!" Batman roared, lunging forward.

Nightwing fired his grapple, aiming for the tentacles, but the line passed through them like mist.
Red Robin threw batarangs at the cultists, breaking their circle, but the ritual was in its final phase.

"The words are spoken!" the cult leader howled, ignoring a blow from Black Bat that leveled one of his companions.
"The Great King of Ghosts shall accept this gift! The bride has been marked!"

The tentacles pulled Jason into the portal. Batman, with a desperation he hadn't felt since that night in Ethiopia, leaped toward the vortex.
He reached out, his fingers nearly brushing Jason's shoe.

The portal closed with a soft squelch, leaving behind only the scent of ozone and a lingering, icy chill.

A silence fell over the room, broken only by the moans of the fallen cultists and the heavy breathing of Batman,
who knelt on the altar, staring at the empty space where his son had been moments before.

"Arrest them," Batman growled, his voice quiet but as dangerous as the rumble of an approaching storm.
"I want to know everything."

Back in the Batcave, the atmosphere was as thick as tar.
Batman sat before the main computer, analyzing trace amounts of ectoplasm Tim had managed to scrape from the altar.
Dick paced nervously, Damian sharpened his sword with a murderous expression, and Cass sat motionless, her body taut as a bowstring.

Oracle worked remotely, interrogating the cultists they held in a safe house, hiding the Waynes' identities behind the masks of the Bat-family.

"It's gibberish," Barbara said over the speakers.
"They're talking about the 'Infinite Realms,' 'Pariah Dark,' and the 'Ghost King.' They claim they sacrificed Jason as a 'bride' to the Ghost King to earn protection from hauntings and wealth. Nothing concrete on how to get him back."

Bruce slammed his fist onto the console.
"We need to know where they took him. This isn't magic we're familiar with."

"That's why I called a specialist," Tim said, glancing at the elevator.

The elevator opened to reveal John Constantine, smoking a cigarette and looking even more exhausted than usual.

"Bloody hell, Batman," Constantine muttered, ashing on the floor.
"What have you done now? Your Gotham reeks of necromancy worse than usual."

"Jason was taken through a ghost portal,"
Batman said curtly.
"The cultists mentioned a Ghost King."

Constantine froze.
The cigarette fell from his lips.
He turned so pale so quickly that Dick thought for a moment the mage would faint.

"The Ghost King?" Constantine repeated in a raspy voice.
"You mean the Ghost King? The one who defeated Pariah Dark and wields the Ring of Rage and the Crown of Fire?"

"I don't know how many Ghost Kings there are, Constantine," Batman snapped. "Can you help?"

Constantine began frantically searching his pockets, muttering protection spells under his breath.
"Lad, if it's the one I'm thinking of, you've got a problem bigger than Darkseid.
The Ghost King is a being of infinite power, ruler of the Ghost Zone—the dimension where all souls and the dead end up."

He lit another cigarette, his hands shaking.
"If the cultists performed the 'Eternal Betrothal Ritual,' then Jason is technically, legally, and magically the property of the King. And not just any property. He's his consort."

"What?!" Dick and Tim shouted in unison.

"Preposterous," Damian hissed.
"My brother is no 'bride' to some specter."

"It's magic, kid, there's no such thing as preposterous, only consequences,"
Constantine retorted.
"Listen to me, Batsy. Going in there is suicide. But if you want him back before... before the consummation of the engagement, we have to move carefully."

He began drawing a complex symbol on the cave floor.
"Preparing a ritual to open a portal to the heart of the Ghost Zone, without drawing the attention of every damned legion, will take me a few days.
I need ingredients. Demon blood, phoenix ash, and... and a lot of booze, because I need to survive this."

"Do it," Batman said. "You have everything you need. Just find him."

At the same time, Jason Todd woke with a deep intake of breath.

The first thing he registered was comfort. He was lying in a massive, soft bed, tucked under silk sheets of deep violet.
The mattress was so comfortable Jason felt as if he were floating on a cloud.

He opened his eyes and blinked.
The room was gargantuan, decorated in a style that blended Gothic architecture with futuristic technology.
The walls were made of dark, shimmering stone, but upon them floated holographic screens displaying star maps and strange, ectoplasmic charts.

Outside the window—a window that stretched from floor to ceiling—there was no Gotham.
Instead, there was an infinite, swirling void of green and purple, filled with drifting islands of rock, ancient castles, and strange, glowing creatures.

Where am I? Jason thought, sitting up abruptly. His green sweater was intact, but the ropes were gone.

"Oh, you're awake. That's good. My sister was worried the knockout gas might have reacted with your... specific body chemistry."

Jason turned his head. Sitting in an armchair by the window was a man. He looked about Jason's age, perhaps slightly younger.
He wore a sleek black-and-white jumpsuit with a "D" logo on the chest, hovering slightly off the seat.
His hair was snow-white and billowed as if underwater. On his head sat a crown made of icy blue metal, within which quiet, green flames flickered.
His eyes were a vivid, glowing green.

"Who are you?" Jason asked, dropping into a defensive stance despite feeling strangely relaxed.
"And where am I?"

The man smiled gently. It was a tired but friendly smile.
"I'm Danny. Danny Phantom. Or, officially, the Ghost King, Lord of the Infinite Realms, Bearer of the Crown of Fire and the Ring of Rage. But please, just call me Danny. You're in my castle in the Ghost Zone."

Jason blinked. "Ghost King." Cultists. Ritual. Everything began to click.

"The cultists," Jason said. "They sent me here."

Danny sighed and rubbed his temples. "Yeah. A group of idiots from Earth who think they can buy my favor by bringing me offerings.
Usually, I just send these 'sacrifices' back with a bad headache and a lifetime ban from the Zone, but this time... well, the ritual was ancient and powerful."

He stood and walked toward the bed, stopping at a respectful distance.
"They used the 'Ritual of Eternal Betrothal.' Technically speaking, Jason Todd-Wayne, you are now my fiancé."

Jason stared at him. "What? Is this a joke?"

"I wish," Danny said resignedly. "The magic of this ritual binds us on a spiritual level.
If I break it unilaterally, the Ghost Zone will see it as a betrayal by the King and... well, it could destabilize reality. Your world might be flooded by an army of wraiths."

Jason sat back against the pillows, trying to process the information. He was engaged. To the King of Ghosts. This was crazier than anything Bruce had ever pulled.

But then he noticed something else. The Lazarus Pit rage... it was gone.
Usually, it was a constant, throbbing anger he had to manage with meditation and study.
Here, in Danny's presence and within the Ghost Zone, it was silent. He felt... peaceful. For the first time since his resurrection.

Danny watched him closely.
"I could feel your Pit taint. The Ghost Zone is pure energy, natural. Your return to life was... unnatural. Here, your soul is healing itself."

Jason looked at his hands. "It's true. The rage is gone."

Danny's smile widened. "That's good news. Look, Jason. I don't want to keep you prisoner. But this marriage... it makes political sense.
My subjects are restless. They need stability. And you... you're a human who died and came back. You have the essence of both life and death within you."

The King stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm offering you a deal. Stay as my husband. Become the 'Ghost Queen'."

Jason snorted. "Queen? Seriously?"

Danny shrugged, blushing slightly. "The terminology is old-fashioned. But the role is powerful. As my consort, you will have power equal to mine.
You'll control armies, treasuries, and dimensional politics. I'm offering you money, gold, and magical artifacts that will make Wayne Enterprises look like a lemonade stand."

Jason arched an eyebrow. "Money doesn't interest me. I have plenty."

"But the power to do good?" Danny asked, locking eyes with him.
"I know what you do in Gotham. You help children. Here, you can help souls who are lost.
You can ensure no other cult ever kidnaps an innocent person again. You'll have respect in the worlds of both the living and the dead.
Who would dare hurt a kid in Crime Alley knowing the Ghost Queen is watching?"

Jason remained silent, analyzing the proposal with the cold logic Bruce had taught him and the pragmatism he'd earned on the streets.

Pros: No Lazarus rage. Infinite resources for philanthropy on an interdimensional scale.
Power to protect those he loved in ways Batman could only dream of.
The ability to visit family (Danny assured him portals worked both ways for the King and his Consort).
A handsome, seemingly sensible husband who didn't wear a bat mask.

Cons: I'm technically dead-adjacent, but I've been there, done that. I have to marry a guy I've known for five minutes.

Jason looked at Danny. The King looked nervous, like a boy asking a date to prom rather than a ruler of a dimension. There was something... human about him.

"So?" Jason asked. "I just stay here, we get hitched, and we rule?"

"That's the gist of it," Danny said, holding out a hand where a ring hovered. It was crafted from dark metal, set with a large, pulsing green gem.
"It'll be fine, Jason. We can do this on your terms. You'll be the most powerful being in this dimension next to me.
And if you want, you can go visit the family. Though fair warning, my mother-in-law is haunting.
Literally, she's a ghost of an old bride who hates men, but I think she'll like you."

Jason looked at the ring. He thought of Gotham, the endless struggle, and how Bruce always worried Jason would slip back into the dark. Here, in the darkness of the Ghost Zone, Jason had found a light and a peace he'd never known.

"Power, respect, money, and a husband," Jason muttered, a faint, cocky smirk playing on his lips—the kind Dick loved so much.
"Sounds better than reading picture books in a library."

He reached for the ring and slid it onto his finger.
The gem pulsed with a brilliant green light, and Jason felt ectoplasmic energy flood his body, merging with his own Pit-scarred essence.
He felt... whole. Half-ghost. Stronger than ever.

"I accept the deal, Danny," Jason said, looking at his fiancé. "Let's be the 'Ghost Queen'."

Danny beamed, his crown flaring brighter.
"Great! I knew you were smart. So? Shall we have an engagement party? My sister, Jazz, loves planning parties."

Over the next three days, a joyful chaos reigned in the Ghost King's castle.

Jazz Fenton, Danny's sister and unofficial royal advisor, took control of the wedding preparations.
She brought in spectral tailors who measured Jason every which way, debating fervently over shades of violet, silver, and green that best suited his complexion and "half-ghostly aura."

Jason felt strange, but wonderful. Being in the castle, surrounded by pure ectoplasm, was like a treatment at the world's best spa. His body, covered in scars from his resurrection, was healing. His skin took on a healthy glow, and his vivid green eyes—once a sign of Pit corruption—now shone with the steady, clean energy of the Zone.

He and Danny spent every free moment together. Danny showed him the castle—from the laboratories where his parents (who were now "ghost consultants" and were delighted by Jason, especially his literary knowledge, since their daughter was a psychologist and their son a physicist) conducted research, to the gardens where glowing, carnivorous plants grew.

They talked for hours. Jason told Danny about Robin, the Joker, the resurrection, Bruce, and how hard he tried to be a "good son."
Danny listened with empathy, sharing his own difficult upbringing as a half-ghost, his battle with Vlad Plasmius, and how he'd unexpectedly become King.

They began to understand one another. They began to like one another. Perhaps even something more than like, but it was just the seed of a feeling, delicate as ectoplasmic mist.

"Your family," Danny said one evening as they sat on a balcony watching the swirling Zone. "They're worried about you."

"I know," Jason said, turning the ring on his finger. "Bruce is probably burning down the Batcave in a rage right now.
But... I'm happier here. Here, I can be more than just a 'rescued son.' Here, I'm the Queen."

Danny laughed. "I still love it when you say that."

The wedding was scheduled for two days away. The tailors were finishing two wedding suits.
Danny's suit was black with silver and green accents, while Jason's was a deep violet with silver embroidery depicting the star constellations Jason loved so much.

To celebrate the upcoming nuptials, Danny organized a "engagement party" on one of the castle's terraces.
The terrace was set up like a luxury resort. In the center was a large pool filled with shimmering, warm, green ectoplasm.
Lounge chairs, ghostly palms, and a bar stood nearby, where a ghost bartender (whom Jason knew as "Maddy," an old friend of Danny's) served drinks.

It was nice, pleasant, and fun. Music played, and ghost subjects enjoyed themselves, offering congratulations to their new Queen.

Jason lay on a lounge chair by the pool, dressed in a loose silk shirt and shorts.
In his hand, he held a cocktail—something Danny called an "Ectoplasmic Sunrise," which tasted like melon and lemon and gave a pleasant tingling sensation.
On his finger, Jason's large engagement ring glinted in the light of the Zone.

He had become the Ghost Queen. It was insane, but... he felt right. Power, respect, money... and Danny.
He looked at Danny, who lay on the chair next to him in just swim trunks, looking so peaceful and human despite his crown.
Danny felt his gaze and smiled, taking Jason's hand.

"Having fun, bride?" Danny asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Don't push it, King," Jason replied with a grin, squeezing his hand. "Or I'm pushing you into that pool."

Suddenly, the idyll was shattered by the crackle of static energy. The air above the pool began to swirl and spark.

"What the—" Danny started, sitting up abruptly. The crown on his head flared.

The portal that opened wasn't ectoplasmic. It was a magical portal, violet-blue and ringed with golden runes. It was a portal created by John Constantine.

Five figures tumbled out of the portal like they'd been fired from a catapult.

Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Robin, and Constantine. They landed on the terrace, rolling and coming up in combat stances.
Batman was in full armor, Batarangs in hand.
Nightwing gripped his escrima sticks, Red Robin held his staff, Robin raised his sword, and Constantine held a lighter and a pouch of dust.

"JASON!" Batman roared, his voice—distorted by the modulator—sounding like thunder. "We're here! We're going to save you!"

They stopped, ready to strike at the Ghost King, who they believed was imprisoning their son and brother.

But what they saw made them freeze mid-motion.

The terrace. The pool with green water. The music (which had cut off mid-beat as the bartender dropped her shaker).
The amused, and now terrified, ghost guests. And Jason.

Jason Todd, lying on a lounge chair by the pool in a silk shirt, sipping a drink, one leg crossed over the other, with a massive green ring on his finger.
He looked... incredible. Clean, healthy, powerful. A half-ghostly aura hovered around him like mist. He was calm, relaxed, and clearly irritated by the interruption.

Danny lay beside him, looking confused, crown on his head but wearing nothing but swim trunks.

A silence fell over the castle so deep you could hear the soft bubbling of the ectoplasm in the pool.

Jason slowly lowered his drink onto the side table, never taking his eyes off the Bat-family. He looked at them with an expression that was a mix of profound exhaustion, irritation, and... disappointment.

His gaze swept over them all: from Batman, who looked like he'd just seen a miracle (or the worst thing in the world),
to Dick, who stood slack-jawed, to Tim, who dropped his staff,
to Damian, who looked personally offended, and finally to Constantine, who simply sighed, tucked his lighter away, and muttered, "I bloody knew it."

Jason Todd, the new Ghost Queen, took a deep breath, letting out a soft, weary sigh.

"This," Jason muttered, his voice calm but carrying across the terrace with an authority he'd never possessed before—the voice of a half-ghost Queen.
"This is why you guys aren't getting an invite to my wedding."

Notes:

Sorry if I messed up the tags a little.
I just fixed it.