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Tommy was woken up bright and early at 8 a.m. on a Saturday to his doorbell going off repeatedly.
“Who is that?” Buck asked as he laid next to Tommy in bed, sounding half asleep.
“I don’t know,” Tommy said as he slowly sat up. When the doorbell went off again, Bean let out a small woof. “Just stay there, Bean,” Tommy told the dog as he got out of bed and made for the direction of the front door. WHo comes over to someone’s place unannounced at 8 a.m.?
Walking down the stairs, through the window Tommy saw someone vaguely familiar. The doorbell rang again when Tommy was halfway down the stairs. And though Tommy didn’t know who it was right now, he could just feel a sort of negative energy coming from the person.
“Hold on, I’m coming,” Tommy said as he opened the door.
It was his neighbor from three doors down the street. Tommy tried to recall the man’s name, but either from just waking up two minutes ago or not knowing it in the first place, Tommy was coming up short. Either way, he didn’t look happy.
“Hey,” Tommy greeted the man as he opened the door. “Can I help you?”
The man huffed, a frown on his face. Whatever Tommy was supposed to say when he opened the door, it obviously wasn’t that. “Yes, you can,” he said. “Molly is pregnant!”
Tommy blinked, caught off guard. Out of all the things to yell at him about. Tommy was expecting it to be something like ‘your truck is backed halfway into the sidewalk,’ or ‘we were able to hear what you were doing last night.’
Tommy hadn’t expected his neighbor to come up and tell him that his wife was pregnant. And why was he mad at Tommy about that. And a third thing, Tommy didn’t want to be rude, but the man had to be in his sixties, if his wife was around the same age as him…
“Why are you yelling at me about your wife being pregnant?” Tommy asked.
If what Tommy had said when he first greeted the man was wrong, this was even worse.
“I’m not talking about my wife!” the man nearly screamed out. “Molly is our dog!”
“Oh,” Tommy said. That made a lot more sense, though Tommy still had no clue why his neighbor was mad at him. “And what brings you here then?”
Behind Tommy, he could hear footsteps descending the stairs. Tommy looked over his shoulder, seeing Buck walking down the stairs with Bean in his arms. “What’s going on?” Buck asked.
Tommy’s neighbor picked his arm up, pointing at Bean held in Buck’s arms. “That dog got Molly pregnant!” he yelled.
And wait - what?
Tommy turned from Buck and Bean back to the man. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “There’s no way Bean got anyone pregnant.”
The man dropped his arm, putting both arms on his hips, holding his chest out. “That dog is the only male dog on this street. If it wasn’t him, who was it?”
Tommy wanted to laugh at what he was hearing. Firstly, “Bean had his balls cut off over two years ago,” Tommy said. “And even if he did have everything intact and somehow got out of here, and he hates leaving the house, don’t you have a Great Dane? How would things between them even work?” The idea of eight and a half pound Bean sneaking out of the house to have sex with a Great Dane down the street was hilarious.
The man huffed again, still not satisfied apparently. “And do you have any proof of that?” he asked haughtily.
Tommy took Bean from Buck’s arms, holding him in a way that would show the man Bean’s stomach. “Do you see any balls on him?” Tommy asked.
The man opened his mouth and closed it, flustered. He finally took a step back, seemingly relenting. “If they come back as half wiener dogs next month, I’m coming back here,” he said as he started walking away.
“What was that all about?” Buck asked as Tommy closed the door and set Bean back on the ground.
“Apparently his dog is pregnant and thinks Bean’s the father,” Tommy said.
Buck chuckled. “Really?” he asked. Then Buck turned to Bean, who was looking between Buck and Tommy. “Did you get another dog pregnant?”
Bean let out a soft bark.
“Is that a yes or a no?”