Work Text:
Shane:I need you all at Ilya's on Saturday
Shane: I have Christmas presents for all of you
~2 weeks earlier ~
Ilya had fallen off the couch and on to the floor laughing. He will never understand how people don't find his boyfriend hilarious. "Shane this is the best thing you have ever done."
Shane didn't understand why Ilya was literally rolling on the floor laughing. He didn't think this was that funny. "Ilya are you okay. Maybe I need to get you one too."
~saturday~
Ilya opened his front door where the 14 full grown men, that him and Shane had some how and in some way adopted, had formed a cult looking circle around the door.
"Why do you all just form a circle around the door every time? People are gonna think your trying to kill me." Ilya said.
"maybe one day." Connors said pushing past to get in the house with the rest of the team following.
"Not if I get you first." Ilya yelled after him.
"Mom! Ilya is threatening me!" Connors yelled.
"Ilya leave him alone." Shane yelled from somewhere in the house.
"he threatened me first." He said closing the front door and walking to the living room where Shane was hugging Connors.
"My baby could never." Shane said while Connor stuck his tongue out at Ilya.
Ilya just rolled his eyes and sat on the chair across from the couch where the children where sitting. Shane finally let go of Connors and came to sit on the armrest of the chair. Ilya instinctively wrapped his arm around his boyfriends waist.
"thank for all coming. I," Ilya looked up at him, "me and Ilya got you all gifts." He pulled a bag from behind the chair while everyone cheered and started talking.
"Here Luca catch." He said grabbing the first thing out of the bag. "Don't open it yet wait till everyone has their gift. He repeated the process with the rest if them till everyone got a gift.
"Ok now you all can open them." He said.
After everyone opened their gift everyone held theirs up and in unison looked at connors.
"wow wow wow why are you looking at me likeits my fault." Connors said holding his hands up in surrender.
"why else would we be getting drug tests for Christmas?" Dkystra asked.
"Connor you are the soul reason for this." St.Simon said.
Connor just sighed and sat further back into the couch, while Ilya was dying of laughter.
"little duck this is because of you." Ilya said still laughing.
Then Shane pulled another bag from behind the chair there was a collection of different disappointed sounds. "No these are actuall gifts I promise. I tried to get something I thought you would all like." He started grabbing wrapped gifts out of the bag and throwing them at the different players.
"ok you can open them now."
Connors and Mitty held up their gifts together and looked at each other. They both got dinner reservations in both Boston and Montreal on days they played each other, and matching keychains of each others numbers. "Thank you mom!" Connors and mitty said together.
"I was the one who suggested it!" Ilya said dramatically. Shane just dismissed him with a wave of his hand.
Luca got a really nice sketchbook and drawing set with pencils, charcoal, and other art things Shane could not tell you the names of. "wow thank you guys!"
Wyatt got a collection of Marvel comics he had been complaining about not being able to find. "Holy shit how did you find these? I have been trying to get them for years. Thank you!"
Dykstra got a new hunting practice target and camo vest that Ilya had to hear WAY to much about. "oh yes! Thanks guys!"
Zane got a new grilling apron that said 'kiss the chef' and new grilling tool's. "Oh cool thank you!"
Troy got a set of framed hand painted hockey pucks one with an apple, another with troy and Harris's names, then the last one with a little painting of Chiron. Troy smiled down at them for a minute before looking up and thanking them.
Cliff got a bottle of the good vodka he kept stealing from Ilya. "Now stop stealing mine asshole"
He flipped Roz off, "fuck off, thank you shane."
Carmichael got the hockey stick he had been talking about for months and would not shut up about. "Guess its a good thing I didn't order it the other day. Thanks guys!"
Drapeau and Comeau both got custom skates with the metros logo and a few random designs.
"sorry, I wasn't sure what to get you two. Your both kinda hard to shop for." Shane said.
"No these are really cool. Thank you!" Comeau said with Drapeu nodding in agreement and copying thanks.
JJ got a set of neon glow in the dark shot glasses.
"I kept seeing you look at them on Amazon like you were looking at picture of your dead wife or something, especially since you would look at them in the locker room." Shane said, to which everyone laughed.
Ilya walked out of the room for a minute and returned with a big box of presents. "I got you all separate gifts from Shane." there were mixed reactions of disappointed and scared noises. "Oh come on, you are all babies."
He threw a gift at each of them and the first thing the all noticed was his handwriting.
"Holy shit Roz you actually have good handwriting. Like really nice." Carmichael said.
"Seriously you played with me for 10 years and never saw my handwriting?" Ilya asked. The entirety of the Boston team there shock their heads. Ilya just sighed in response. "well what are you waiting for open your gifts." Ilya said waving his arm around.
Luca was the first to finish unwrapping his present. “Seriously, we're still doing this?” he said holding up posters of Shane and Ilya, both signed.
“I figured you would want to add to your collection.” Ilya seemed pleased with himself.
Connors and Mitty were the next to hold up posters of each other and smiled.
“This is going on my ceiling!” Connors said enthusiastically.
The rest finished unwrapping their gifts which were a mix of random things like more posters for the younger players and other stupid joke gifts that Ilya would get for people. The one that got everyone laughing was the gift he got for st.simon.
Ilya walked out of the room and came back with a big wrapped box. “Here it will be useful.” Vincent looked at him suspiciously. He unwrapped the box to find a blank cardboarx box under the paper he lifted the box and under was a walker. “Are you fucking serious Roz?! I'm only like 3 years older then you!" He exclaimed.
Ilya along with everyone else in the room was laughing. Then Ilya opened his mouth again, "yes almost as old as dinosaur hunter. Maybe you will be aloud to have your fossils next to his in the museums." now there were people laughing mostly on the floor, even Shane was practically on the floor. "or maybe you can evengo to an enclosure instead of a nursing home, I'm sure the local zoo will take you."
From the corner of the room someone mumbled something along the lines of "and to think he was done."
After a few minutes everyone was just finally starting to calm down so Shane stood up, "ok dinner will be done in about 20 minutes, were having lasagna." He said then walked into the kitchen with Ilya trailing behind him like a lost puppy. The rest of the men weren't far behind, placing gifts down and walking to the kitchen where there were foldable tables and chairs set up for everyone, and taking seats.
Ilya definitely wasn't helping but was just getting in Shane's way and clinging like a koala to Shane's back. And sure enough, because Shane Hollander is never wrong, food was placed on everyone's plates within 20 minutes.
Over dinner there were multiple conversations happening. Mitty, connor, luca, Wyatt, drapeu, and cliff were all talking about the best kind of Christmas cookie at the end closest to Shane and Ilya. in the middle there was a very heated argument about why cheddar was better then American cheese, happening between Carmichael, troy, St.Simon, bood, and dykstra with an occasional add in from Ilya. Then at the very far end Comeau, JJ, and Hayden were sitting quietly watching everything go down and whispering comments to each other, careful not to disturb the scene.
Once everyone finished eating Shane brought out cookies that he and Ilya had made yesterday. There were gingerbread, chocolate chip, peanut butter, and candy cane shaped ones. There was also creme de menthe pie and brownies.
Ilya also had made Christmas colored Jello shots that were brought out.
Ilya watched as Shane brought out the desserts and grabbed a red Jello shot and a brownie. He watched Shane with wide eyes.
"SHANE MAURICE HOLLANDEER!" He yelled out. Shane spun around so fast that multiple people put their arms out ready to catch him if he fell. But all gasped and laughed at the revel of Shane's middle name.
"what?!" Shane responded looking around the room.
"You are eating cookie and doing shots." Ilya said walking closer to shane.
"ok...so what? Was that really worth screaming my full name over?" Shane said slowly.
Ilya just wrapped his arms around Shane before mumbling, "I'm so proud, I taught you so well." Which earned him a hard shove from Shane.
"wait is the really your middle name?" Multiple people said at same time.
"yes, no I don't know why. End of conversation." Shane said rolling his eyes.
"Sorry Дорогой." Ilya said, placing a kiss on Shane's temple.
Then after a few more hours of hanging out and drinking enough to know there were gonna be some pretty bad hangovers tomorrow, they all decided they wanted to finally go to bed. They set up there bed arrangements on the floor of the 'Hollanov' living room and got ready for bed. Once all of them fell asleep Shane and Ilya stood in the doorway watching them for minute. Before heading upstairs to get ready for bed themselves.
Once in bed Ilya spoke first, "this is how I imaging it is when people say they hate letting their kids have big sleepovers."
"If our kid ever ask to have big sleepovers like this the answer is immediately no." Shane responded.
Till the day he died Ilya would deny his heart flipping at the mention of him and Shane having kids one day.
"I love love you." Shane said into Ilya neck.
"Я так сильно тебя люблю."
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Sure enough the next day most of them had really bad hangovers and were not happy about having to get up and actually function.