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A raging gasp tore through Theo’s lungs like a bullet. Lurching forward, the damp sheets clung to his skin, as violent pants grew and shrunk in his chest, ricocheting through the night that had just been silent only moments ago.
As the darkness subsided and the abstract shapes that clouded his vision simmered, Theo’s racking breaths that heaved in his chest subsided as well, melting into faint inhalations. A frigid breeze stifled through the room like a running river, drying the sweat that adhered to his skin.
Theo rested his hand on his forehead, his racing thoughts calmed and lingered like a fog as his gaze fell unto the open window. The twinkling stars that peppered the night sky above the castle hung from the heavens, allowing a dim light to seep in from the open window while the cold, gentle breeze swept through the humid room, gently blowing the curtains against the wall.
“Just a dream…”he whispered.
Theo swung his feet off the edge of the bed, his shoulders tensing at the freezing stone beneath his soles. He pressed the heel of his palm against his eye, sullying the dizziness of his body rapidly shooting upwards without warning.
One final, heavy sigh escaped his lips as he shot a glance behind him. Parrot still laid asleep, his back turned against Theo, his side gently rising and falling in slow, rhythmic inhales. Theo let out a sharp breath of relief.
“He’s still asleep…” He thought.
Careful not to make a sound, he heaved himself upwards and off the bed, the cold cobblestone beneath his feet anchoring him to the present moment. His soft steps scraping against the floor was the only sound that had signified his existence as he made his way to the door. Gently, he pushed it open, semi-expecting something—or someone—to be behind the creaking door, standing in the dark hallway, yellow eyes peering into Theo’s soul as if they had known everything about him from the inside out. Slowly, almost too slowly, the door groaned open.
Theo shuddered upon not meeting the acidic eyes he half-expected to witness, instead, he gaped into the black, empty hallway. A quiet sigh diffused from his lungs as he stepped into the darkness. The mild warmth from the humid bedroom was immediately stripped away in the freezing hallway, which was completely swallowed in darkness.
As the door behind him slowly shut, he finally exhaled after suppressing his breaths, as to not awake his best friend. His fingers stayed lingering against the frigid stone walls as he used them as his guide to…
Where even was he going? Why had he even gotten up in the first place?
Before he could even fathom an answer, his ears perked as he rapidly jolted his head towards something in the darkness.
A footstep.
Theo froze so suddenly it almost hurt. Every muscle in his body locked like something had reached into his spine and twisted it tight. The darkness beyond the hallway looked thicker, swollen somehow, breathing in slow black lungs around the walls.
Another step. Quiet, like the first. But still present.
His mind filled the silence instantly with the violent glare of stark yellow eyes.
Billy.
Not even his face, really. Just fragments of him. The sound of his mace scraping against floors like nails on a chalkboard….That awful calmness he carried as gore dried onto his skin . A remembered sound of Parrot choking at the hands of him from weeks ago rose up so vividly that Theo almost heard it over the footsteps.
No. No no no.
Parrot was asleep in their room, half-curled beneath the blanket, completely unaware. Vulnerable in the most disgusting, horrible way possible. A thought flashed across Theo’s mind of his friend sleeping soundly…yet, at the fondness of the thought, he had suddenly become nauseatingly aware of how soft a throat looked in dim light. How easily a body could be opened. How quickly Billy could paint a room in red.
Another step.
Closer.
Theo’s breathing turned shallow. His ears strained so hard against the silence that every tiny noise became monstrous. Sounds that the night carried sounded like the enchanted stone of a mace scraping against rock. Even his own pulse felt foreign, pounding so violently he thought Billy might hear it through the hallway.
He imagined the door opening the creaking door and seeing Billy standing there already smiling because of course he’d know they were afraid. Billy loved fear. He wore it around himself like cologne.
Theo’s thoughts spiraled fast and ugly after that. Too fast to hold onto properly.
What if he’d followed them?
What if he’d known where they were the whole time?
What if Parrot died first?
What if Theo had to watch it happen?
What if the footsteps stopped because he was already inside their room?
The silence became unbearable.
Theo stared so hard into the darkness that shapes began forming inside it. A shoulder. A hand. A figure just beyond his field of view. His exhausted brain shoved meaning into every shadow until the entire room felt crowded.
Then…Nothing.
No footsteps.
Theo stayed rigid for another few seconds anyway, body still primed for violence, heart battering against his ribs hard enough to ache. But slowly, horribly slowly, logic began dragging itself back into him.
Billy wasn’t here. Probably.
The word probably sat badly in his chest.
Theo rubbed both hands over his face and let out a shaky breath that barely sounded human. His nerves still buzzed violently under his skin, refusing to settle completely. He glanced toward the closed door he had left Parrot in.
He had to still be in there, right? Sound asleep?
He was.
Of course he was.
Theo swallowed hard and began walking the opposite way, trying to ignore the lingering feeling that Billy was somewhere in the darkness, watching his every move. Waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
The cockatiel made his way through the massive hallway with soft, careful steps.
Darkness wrapped around him immediately. The corridor stretched long and narrow ahead, drenched in pale moonlight leaking through the monstrous, glassless windows. The air smelled fresh and dewy, yet the biting cold seeped into every crevice of his bones.
Theo started down the hall carefully, every footstep scraping the soles of his feet. His heartbeat had become unbearable, pounding so hard he could feel it in his teeth.
The silence around him was thick, and every tiny sound stretched itself thin inside his mind until it became somehow led back to Billy.. The night breeze rustling nearby trees sounded like muffled movement, and the wind against the stone sounded like breathing.
And then he froze.
At the far end of the hallway, something dark passed across the massive opening. Theo stopped so abruptly his knees nearly buckled. It happened fast. Just a figure slipping past the corridor intersection ahead. Tall. incredibly tall. Calm. But his brain recognized it instantly anyway.
Billy.
The shape moved with that same horrible ease Theo remembered so vividly, that dreadful deliberate movement that made it seem like Billy never hurried because he never needed to. The glimpse had lasted maybe half a second, but it slammed into Theo’s chest hard enough to make his vision blur.
No.
No no no, he wasn’t here.
Theo stared at the end of the hallway until his eyes burned. Nothing moved now, and the corridor sat empty and still beneath the weak moonlight. Yet the certainty remained lodged inside him like a hook beneath the ribs.
He saw him. He knew he did.
He took another step forward before immediately regretting it. His body screamed at him to turn around, to run back to Parrot, and beg for him to leave. But another part of him needed confirmation. Needed proof he wasn’t losing his mind completely.
The farther he walked, the more distorted the hallway became. Shadows seemed to shift whenever he looked away from them. His exhausted brain kept assembling human shapes out of meaningless objects—abstract patterns of stone on the walls became bodies standing perfectly still, twinkling stars in the night sky felt like eyes peering into his own, and the arch of one of the massive windows briefly looked like someone crouched low to the floor waiting to spring at him.
His breathing came out in gasping, shallow breaths.
Then, he heard a whisper.
Theo turned sharply toward the nearest window.
Billy’s acidic eyes staring directly at him from outside, standing on the massive sill of the window.
Theo physically recoiled, tripping backwards onto the stone floor hard enough to send pain shooting through his arm. The figure stood beyond the arch in the darkness, pale-faced beneath the moonlight, one hand resting lightly against the windowpane. Motionless. Watching him.
Theo’s stomach twisted violently. The stork's eyes peered so intently. So knowingly.
For one horrible second, Theo couldn’t move at all. Every instinct in his body locked up simultaneously, prey-animal terror taking over so completely he forgot how breathing worked. All he could think was that Billy had found them. Somehow, impossibly, he had found them.
Theo blinked many times, as he scrambled to get up, his blood running cold as another footstep shot out from the end of the hallway. Someone was there.
Theo spun around so fast his vision smeared, expecting Billy to already be standing inches away from him, Mace in hand, smiling that same awful smile.
Nothing. Just the hallway. Just darkness.
But now the paranoia had fully ruptured inside him. It flooded every thought at once, spreading fast and uncontrollably. He could suddenly picture Billy everywhere. Behind every doorway. Standing inside every room. Standing directly behind him the moment he blinked. His mind kept replaying the glimpse at the window over and over again until it stopped feeling imagined and started feeling undeniable.
Theo looked back toward the massive arched window. Nobody stood outside anymore.
Only the twinkling stars met his gaze, yet for some reason it felt like they too were watching him. For a moment he almost convinced himself that stress is all it had been. Sleep deprivation. Hallucinations clawing their way out of exhaustion.
But it wasn’t enough.
Slowly, horribly slowly, a realization began settling into him, heavier than panic itself. Billy knew exactly what he was doing. That was why he kept disappearing, and why he only showed himself for a second at a time.
He wanted Theo trapped in that awful state of panic where every sound became torture. If Billy simply attacked, it would end. Fear would become something solid and not something foreign.
Theo suddenly understood with terrifying clarity that Billy was already inside the building. Maybe he had been there the entire night. Maybe he was standing somewhere nearby right now, hidden just beyond the darkness, awaiting for Theo to make a wrong move.
A call came from the opposite end of the hallway that nearly gave the bird a heart attack.
“Theo?” the familiar, gravely voice called, and Theo nearly melted in relief.
“Parrot!” Theo squealed, his feet rapidly slamming against the crimson carpet as he made his swift way towards Parrot, practically leaping into his arms. Yet, Parrot couldn’t tell if it was relief that had washed over the cockatiel’s face, or if it was dread.
Almost immediately upon contact, Theo hurriedly pulled away—his nails still plowing into Parrot’s bicep. Finally, Parrot closely examined his face as Theo gaped intensely at every detail of the room. His pupils were massively dilated, dark holes consuming the honey colored iris he had last remembered. Parrot took note of his cracked lips, and the way his eyebrows had been raised and pulled together.
His head snapped in every direction, panickedly examining every corner, as if if he hadn’t, something would have emerged from the shadows and swallowed them whole. His eyes shifted to face Parrot, who had already noticed his crazed eyes darting to each minuscule sound that the night had released.
“Theo, what are you doing? It’s so late—”
“Parrot,” Theo interrupted. “We need to get out of here right now.” He urged, nails sinking deeper into Parrot’s skin.
“What? Theo, what are you talking about?”
“Parrot please,” It was unlike Theo to beg, yet there he was, pleading with Parrot to just agree and go. “just listen to me, we need to leave right now.”
“Theo, genuinely what are you talking about? Why do we need to leave?” Parrot observed intently at the frenzied urgency in Theo’s speech.
“Listen, Parrot, it doesn’t matter, we just need to go right now, please listen to me, they’re coming, Parrot!”
Theo’s fingers slid into Parrot’s palms, squeezing them tightly as he executed a weak attempt to pull him along towards the Enfilade.
“Theo just—who is they?!” Parrot exclaimed as he tugged Theo back, closely examining his face.
“Parrot, please, just listen to me, it’s—it’s Billy, I swear, I saw him, he’s screwing with me!” Theo wailed. “I saw him! I saw him from the windows, and—”
“Theo, listen… Just come with me, let’s go back to sleep, dude.” Parrot spoke softly, a stark contrast to the razor sharp edge in Theo’s voice.
“Wha—No, Parrot, listen to me! I saw him, I promise I did! He’s somewhere around here, he’s just—come on, please Parrot, just believe me, please!”
“Come, Theo, let's go back, I’ll walk you.” Parrot’s concern had been masked with a calmness that sent Theo into a spiral. What would it take for Parrot to just believe him?
“No, Parrot! Please, believe me, I promise, I saw him! He’s trying to screw with me, Parrot, I swear, please, believe me!” He sniveled, his fretful pleads swiftly devolving into hysterical begs—continuing on more so even after Parrot tightly wrapped him in his arms and sunk his hand into the back of his head and into his shoulder, muffling his desperate sobs and pleas for cooperation.
“I know, Theo, I know. Let’s go, come on, I’ll take you back.” Parrot hushed. It was clear he had caught onto the hysterical ramblings Theo had cursed into his shoulder—grasping on tighter—drowning him in Parrot’s sea of warmth.
“No, no…please,” He rushed in between gasps. “Please believe me, Parrot, I promise…” gentle circles rubbed into his back as he mumbled repeated pleas to just… get out of here—Yet, his cries and begs drowned out against Parrot’s shoulder, and tears strained into his skin like a tea bag in hot water. Tender strokes of Parrot’s hand brush into his hair, each gentle tug more soft than the last, sinking him deeper into his friend’s embrace.
“Listen,” Parrot began. “Nobody’s here, Theo.”
Parrot’s arm remained tightly wrapped around his friend as he carefully began walking him back to their room, as Theo’s sobs and begs barely subdued.
𖤓
Parrot sat Theo down onto their bed and remained next to him.
Theo’s bottom lip quivered violently, his eyes glossed and his cheeks damp. Parrot’s gentle hands draped around his friend’s shoulders, his warm fingers grounding the cockatiel ever so slightly.
“Theo..?” Parrot called softly, his friend averting his gaze downwards, as if too afraid to look him in the eye.
“Theo,” The conure repeated. “I promise you, there's nobody here—“
Before Parrot could properly finish, Theo launched himself towards the bird, his arms wrapped tightly around his back, the cockatiel pressed in the crook of his shoulder.
Immediately, Parrot returned the contact, his hands steadying his friend’s quivering shoulders as his sobs drowned out into his chest, the humid, silent room filled to the brim with muffled weeps.
Parrot's heart ached at the awful cries his friend strained into his clothes.
He hushed him, his fingers smoothing through the cockatiel’s golden hair. It always hurt him whenever he saw one of his friend’s cry.
He remembered a year back, how Dean had nearly cried when him and Wifies had popped his totem and revealed his invis, how he had seen his bloodied nose when his totem popped from falling from the plane, how he saw the vile injuries he inflicted onto his friend with his own hands. How he saw his honey-colored iris leak tears like nectar. How his eyes flickered slightly, like he’d accepted his fate before the cold, suffocating ink of the void swallowed him whole. Far too cold for someone like Dean, whose skin was always full of warmth from the sweltering sun.
He remembered how he himself had wept when he thought Wifies had suffered the same fate with Ash—how intensely his hands shook as he buried himself beneath the surface, horrible, racking sobs flooding out of him like a river nonetheless. How his knees buckled and his heart skipped a beat when The Director had revealed himself, wearing the skin of his best friend who he had thought perished at the hands of The Director.
Vile sobs tore from Theo’s lungs, catching in his throat.
“Im so sorry, Parrot.” He sobbed. “I’m so sorry I can’t handle myself like you can.”
“No, No, Theo, please don’t say that.” Parrot stammered, cradling his friend tighter to his chest. Had his best friend really thought that he’d thought this lowly of him? Parrot’s stomach churned.
Theo loosened his grip on Parrot, the nails that dug into his back slightly unclenching. Theo was an idiot. He had always been an idiot. No matter the instructions he was given, he never could possibly follow them correctly, despite how simply they were explained. Fighting was all he was good at. Was he even good at that anymore? Billy clearing him in every category practically makes him useless to Parrot. Just more dead weight to burden an unfortunate soul with.
All Theo had ever seen was fighting. Saying he had a use besides blowing things up is almost laughable. All this time, he tried to escape Billy, tried to escape the violence that blossomed everywhere he went, but Theo was too stupid to even figure that out.
Death felt like the only true escape route. There was no other escape from Billy and Theo’s own actions than death. His own idiocy could never possibly infiltrate his mind and influence his actions when he wouldn’t even have a mind anymore. Only when he breathed his final breath and was placed in the soil will he finally escape the grasp of Billy. Escape the grasp of himself.
Living and carrying out these plans to try to get the upper hand against the stork always seemed to end with Theo even more terrified than the last time. Sometimes, in the midst of battle, when redstone dust burned into his lungs and Billy’s arm pressed against his throat, his thrashing and chokes for air would cease for a moment; he’d gaze up at the blistering sun that flooded every crevice of his vision with warm light, and shut his eyes for what he believed to be the final time.
He imagined the relief that would overflow his senses once it was over, to die at the hands of someone he once admired and adored dearly. To feel the gentle kisses of the wind numb out as his body slowly lost feeling. To finally be released from the torturous hellscape he turned his life into—until the clawing, suffocating need for air consumed every last thought and his kicks and squirms made their way back into his bones.
All Theo had ever brought to the table was violence. Even when he tried to put it all behind him, it still always managed to seep through the cracks, poisoning every choice he makes to try and compensate for his last one.
Theo let out a heavy, quivering sigh—lashes still damp and cheeks still pink. The lids of his eyes hung heavy, streaks of salty tears drying against his waterline.
“Theo?” Parrot uttered. The cockatiel let out a chirp of acknowledgement.
“What happened?” Parrot asked, “What happened between you and Billy? Why are you so terrified of him?”
Theo remained silent, and he almost didn’t respond at all until he felt the gentle rubs against his back.
“I don’t know, Parrot.” He replied, his heavy eyelids already cloaking his vision in darkness, voice feeble.
“I never wanted you to think you’re incompetent,” Parrot said. “I worry a lot, Theo. I don’t want you to get hurt just because you think you need to.”
Head still tucked away in Parrot’s shoulder, Theo let out a muffled scoff.
“Please,” the conure huffed. “I just want to know why, so I can help you.”
Parrot almost laughed at the hypocrisy in his statement. Theo had always begged him to talk about what happened before he was stranded at spawn, but Parrot would always shut him down.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his friend, he trusted him more than anyone he knew, and yet he couldn’t even bring himself to confide in someone who he trusted with his life.
Theo didn’t answer—his breathing had slowed, and the tight grip he had on his friend had released. Parrot pulled away ever so slightly to examine his slumbering friend.
Tension had completely vanished from his face, eyelids gently closed and cheeks still flushed.
All Parrot could do was admire it. Theo had always had a ferocity to him, even when he was upset, and it was very rare that Parrot got to see such bliss on his face.
It reminded Parrot of Wifies, how an ocean of relief would wash over his face after they reunited from a fight. How the pink on his cheeks would bloom like a rose and how his grin would grow wide whenever they’d successfully solved a puzzle.
He realized how similar it was to how Theo looked whenever an explosion reflected in his eyes, and how they’d light up like dynamite as he saw the eruption. How they’d scramble to cover their mouths when hiding, desperately trying to hold back their laughter.
He remembered how Wifies’ face would melt into a red eyed mess whenever he’d realize the gravity of a situation, and how similar it looked to how Theo’s button lip would sputter before he erupted into sobs, and how his speech would spiral before his tears came welling out.
Wifies had always haunted every aspect of his life, even while in death. Always seen Wifies superimposed onto every familiar face he’s stumbled across, and as much as he disliked to admit it, Theo was one of those faces he’d plastered the image of Wifies onto.
Theo didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be shaped into the role of a dead man one couldn’t let go of. The least parrot could do for Theo was allow him to have a comfortable slumber. And so, he stayed still, hyper aware of his friend’s slow, rhythmic breathing.
Also i forgor to mention that this is semi-based off a rlly bad high i had ik i sound like a fucking stoner bc i keep bringing up weed but its important to the context
How mfs look at u when u want ur favorite bsfs to be happy and non traumatized
Anyway finally throwing in my bread crumbs to the only other 5 cartwings flockers
Also if the fucking thing doesnt work so i can italicize when a mf is thinking and it doesnt work and makes me look like an idiot im sliming all yall
edit: ok im sobered up now and I js reread this ts is some hot ass who did I think I was when I was writing this bro u is not socrates