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Pretty boy, heartthrob, Celebrity crush, all phrases Patrick had heard Pete being described as. When it came to Patrick, however, most people just called him awkward or weird. Despite being the singer of the band, it seemed to most that he blended into the background of the stage.
"Ma'am? Your coffees are ready," a voice said from behind the counter. No one else was waiting, so she must have been talking to Patrick.
"Oh, thanks," he replied
He could see the shock on the barista's face, "Oh my god, I- I'm sorry, sir," she muttered. He was used to this, so he didn't think too much about it, or at least he tried not to. No matter what he did, it seemed people knew he wasn't a real man. They knew there was something about him that wasn't like other guys. He had come to accept that, or so he told himself. He used to cut his hair shorter in an attempt to help that, but it never seemed to do anything, so he gave up on that.
"Oh, hey, you're back, thanks for picking them up." Pete grinned when Patrick entered the room. Patrick mustered up a grin as he handed the coffees to Pete. Even when Pete wore eyeliner and girl jeans, he was still seen as a guy. Patrick. However, he could wear just a T-shirt and jeans, and everyone thought he was a girl. Patrick watched as Pete took a sip of his coffee. Patrick used to study his mannerisms, the way he sat, the way he stood, or even just small things like how he drank. He would spend time analyzing and mimicking it when he could. He used to figure that if he mimicked Pete as closely as he possibly could, maybe, just maybe, it would help him. Eventually, Patrick concluded that it wasn't the mannerisms, it was him.
"Hey, what's up with you, Pat?" Pete asked. It was then that Patrick realized Pete had been looking at him the whole time.
"Oh no, nothing. Sorry, I just uh zoned out." He stammered. Pete could see through his attempt to avoid whatever he was thinking about, and Patrick knew he could.
"Seriously, Pat, what's up? Y'know, you can talk to me." Pete inquired. “Yeah, I know, it’s just- it’s nothing,” Patrick responded. Pete could easily tell that Patrick was lying, but he didn’t seem to pry any further.
“Oh sweet, you got the coffees!” Joe exclaimed when he walked in. He grabbed his coffee and took a sip. “Sooo, are you guys ready for practice or are you just gonna stand here?” Joe asked. Pete and Patrick muttered replies, and they went to the practice room. When they entered, Andy was already sitting in there. Even when they had all set up, Patrick's mind was elsewhere. When he thought about all of this stuff, it was all he could think about. That's why he tried so hard not to think about this, why he never wanted to talk about it. His eyes kept drifting over to Pete, thinking about all of this stuff.
About 2 hours later, they finished practice. Everyone else had more stuff to pack up, so Patrick slipped out when he was done. After walking out to the alleyway, he sighed. Maybe everyone was right, maybe he was just a girl. He wasn't a "real" man, whatever that meant. Come to think of it, what even was a real man? It couldn't just be that they had a dick because he saw feminine guys getting called not real men. But even then, those "not real men" were till thought of in relation to men; Patrick was just a girl playing dress-up, according to most. Even the flood of hateful comments about Pete wearing eyeliner just called him gay or a pussy most of the time. They didn't say he was a woman. And the few that did, did it as an insult because they thought it was funny. Patrick was just seen as a woman. Maybe it's because Pete was thinner, or because his jaw was sharper.
Patrick got so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't realized that Pete had come out into the alley too until he spoke. "Pat, what's wrong? dont bullshit me, I can tell there's something on your mind," he affirmed. Patrick sighed, "I just- I just dont think you would get it." Pete looked at him for a moment. "Listen, even if I don't understand it, whatever it is, it's clearly bothering you, and I care about you. I care about you a lot, Pat." Pete replied. "Well, it's just about y'know, people seeing me as a girl. I mean, even when I went to get the coffee, they called me ma'am." Patrick muttered. "Is that what this is about?" Pete asked, "Pat, you're a man, hell, you're more of a man than I am. People say shit all the time, y'know. They take one look at you and think that they know you and who you are, but they dont. I think you're amazing no matter what you look like." Pete darted his gaze down. Blushing, Patrick took a step towards Pete. The silence was deafeningly loud. Patrick put his arm around Pete's waist and hugged him. "Thank you," he mumbled while sinking his face into Pete's hoodie.
Even if people thought Patrick was a girl, he had Pete, and that's all that should matter. He knows Patrick is a boy and always has. And anyway, Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?