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It felt natural, the way that they all had fit together. Shane had never thought that he would be one for polyamory in the first place. Hell, it had taken him seven years to admit to himself that he wanted Ilya. Once he had him, he felt complete and happy and all of the other good emotions that he thought he was too cold to ever feel - except that he was not complete, not really, not until Cliff.
He had noticed it with Ilya - the self imposed isolation from the people dear to him in Boston. Shane had tried to encourage Ilya to still keep in contact but even after their wedding, his now husband was keeping everyone at arms length. It might have made sense to Shane that Ilya no longer felt as close to Connors or Hammersmith or Carmichael…but Marlow?
Marlow was Ilya’s brother, his partner in actual crime, a kindred spirit to Ilya’s bullshit in a way that Shane never hoped to be. No matter how much Shane had turned the situation over in his head, it still made very little sense. The distance was definitely not related to the 2017 season as he had joked with Marlow about it many times now. It could not be due to interpersonal drama because he would have heard about it through the gossip mill. Even asking Ilya about it did not clear it up - if anything, it made Shane even more confused. His husband almost looked guilty any time the topic of Marlow was brought up nowadays.
Unlike Ilya, Shane had no reservations about reaching out to Marlow - especially since it concerned his husband’s weird behavior. As soon as Shane had sent the text requesting that Marlow call him to talk about Ilya, he received an affirmative response and a time. Marlow did not bullshit when it came to his friends and Shane had always appreciated that - what Shane had not appreciated was the actual substance of their call.
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“What the fuck do you mean that Ilya feels weird about the sex, Marlow”
“Whoa there Hollzy! Nothing at all, just that Ilya probably feels weird about all the threesomes we used to have - you know we used to take the ladies to Paris yeah?”
Shane could feel tension spike along his spine as his mind flashed illicit scenes with gorgeous models Ilya had been spotted with over the years…and Marlow.
“No…he did not tell me this…”
“Uh…well uh…whoops…does it count as violating bro code if we are all bros?”
Shane let out a humorless snort, “Yeah buddy, pretty sure this counts as violating bro code.”
“Fuuuuuuck…” is all that he gets in response. Shane could practically hear the hand that was no doubt no rubbing at Marlow's face in distress.
Shane’s stomach suddenly dropped as a feeling of uncertainty started to climb up the back of his neck. It felt like needles.
“Hold on. Marlow. Do you know why Ilya would not tell me about this?”
“Maybe because we are bros? I don't know Hollzy, fuck I am so sorry, I don’t know if we were doing that while you two were-”
“Wait, hold on.” Shane did not want to hear Marlow’s spiral - he needed the man to stop talking for just one second as something began to tickle the back of his mind.
“I know about Svetlana…I probably know too much about Svetlana actually, but I don’t know anything about you. Why?”
“Oh fuck.”
“Whatt do you mean ‘oh fuck’ Marly?”
“Oooohhhh shiiiiiiit…” Marlow’s voice sounded almost pained.
“Just fucking tell me already.”
“I think…I think it’s because I’m a man…he probably feels weird about that.” Marlow was still beating around the bush and Shane was losing his patience.
“Marlow…why the fuck would Ilya feel weird about you being a guy when you were sleeping with women.”
“Uhhhh…well…sometimes maybe…it wasn’t really a Paris situation like you think it was…well…more of a…fuck please don’t kill me.”
“For the love of - stop beating around the bush asshole and just tell me!” Shane was not able to hide the venom in his voice judging by the shaky breath Marlow took on the other end of the line.
“...Ilya liked to be in the middle sometimes, okay? And maybe I am not exactly so straight that I can’t fuck a man…”
Shane felt like his entire world had tilted on its axis. Ilya had never even brought up the possibility of them switching it up, but here Marlow was telling him that he had fucked Ilya…and from the sound of it - more than once.
“Oh…” Was the only response Shane could muster, because what else was he supposed to say to that? He needed to think.
“Thanks Marlow, I’ll keep it to myself.” He hung up the phone before Marlow could reply.
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Shane knew he did not process things in the normal way - present revelations included. The more he had thought about the idea of Marlow and Ilya together sexually, the stickier and more syrupy it became. His mind chewed on the thought day and night - extracting all possible flavor from the idea and folding the scenes over on themselves like taffy. After the initial shock had worn off, the thing he was left with was simple, instinctive heat.
Convention said that Shane should probably bring this up with Ilya gently…but he knew his husband well. The guilt he saw in Ilya was enough of a tell - the guilt meant that whatever was between him and Marlow mattered. His husband was making a choice and protecting Shane from the emotional turmoil of finding out Ilya trusted Marlow in such an intimate and intense way. To Shane’s own surprise, he felt betrayed for a completely different reason…he would have never chosen this loss for Ilya to begin with. Instead of the careful approach, Shane bared his teeth at Ilya’s jugular - sex.
Two weeks before Ilya’s birthday, he sends a text to Marlow.
[2:45 am]
Are you not straight enough to fuck two men? No audience? :Me
Marlow: ?
[4:03 am]
Marlow: yes
Marlow: when and where
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Being with Ilya made Shane feel like a tiger that was finally digging its teeth into fresh, bloody meat after years of spoiled scraps - but being with Cliff and Ilya together? It felt like a beast touching the real forest floor after a decade spent dulling his claws against a concrete enclosure. It felt like true freedom.
Shane’s birthday surprise to Ilya went off without a hitch but the pain in Ilya’s eyes afterwards was two-fold. Ilya was fully expecting Marlow to catch the next flight to Boston and was not ready for Shane to drop that Marlow would be staying at their place for the next few days. At the end of Marlow’s stay, as they all were drifting off to sleep, it was much easier to whisper to Ilya, “We should date Marlow” than it would have been the week prior.
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Eight months in, things started to truly settle - this thing between the three of them bloomed into something permanent. Cliff had looked at Shane with awe when he brought up the possibility of a relationship between all three of them initially - he admitted that it was not something he had ever hoped for because of the “Jane” of it all.
“He loves us both Cliff, it might not be exactly the same but it's no less intense and no less important.”
“But do you think we could get along?”
“We are all assholes at the end of the day, I think you and I will get along just fine Cliff.”
They ended up getting along much better than ‘just fine’.
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Telling Shane’s parents about the new development ended up being much harder than telling the Marlows. In general Cliff’s dad just gave the news a light shrug and his mom seemed to be ecstatic by the concept that he was going steady with someone. David and Yuna, on the other hand, had a million questions that cascaded one after the other after he dropped the news on their weekly phone call. Their monthly family dinner was not going to be pleasant…
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Shane can’t think of a time where he has seen Cliff without his stubble. He is surprised by how effective the new look is at turning Cliff from a rugged lumberjack into a ‘nice man to bring home’. It is definitely going to work better in their favor than a Boston Bears T-shirt and gym shorts.
When they cross over the threshold, they exchange pleasantries and tentatively sit at the dining table that has an additional mismatched chair pulled up to one side. Shane can tell his mom is bursting from the seams with questions and logistics. She manages to restrain herself until all of them sit down at the dinner table.
“So...how does this work exactly?”
Shane can’t help himself, his mom always manages to ignite his inner teenager and it is no different this time around as he crosses his hands over his chest and stares down at the table, “I don't know! It just feels right?”
Next to him, Ilya gives a noncommittal, “Well…” as Cliff sits silently, evidently content to let them all have at it.
Yuna’s attention snaps to Ilya, “Well what?”
Ilya sighs. There is too much to explain and he is clearly not sure how to frame it much like Shane himself. It isn’t like they rehearsed their explanation - there is too much nuance in whatever is going on with them to explain eloquently.
There is a brief flicker of something in Ilya’s eyes that Shane immediately identifies as mischief. He braces for impact as he notices Cliff flinch with the same recognition.
“Shane has hypersexual autism, I have daddy and mommy issues and Cliff has brain damage.”
Shane wants to protest immediately but…well…Ilya is not exactly wrong and it is a lot more ‘to the point’ than Shane could have come up with.
Shane looks up to the ceiling, defeated, as his parents sit in shocked silence.
“...That’s a mean thing to say.”
It’s soft spoken but so clearly laced with that specific brand of Cliff’s mischief that it starts up Shane’s neurons enough to also reply.
“You make it sound like we might as well dye our hair blue and move to Seattle.”
Predictably, Ilya lets out an ugly snort - not expecting Shane to crack a joke like that.
Cliff riffs off of Shane with a familiar smirk, “ I think I'd look better with purple hair personally.”
Shane finds himself nodding along as Ilya voices his agreement.
His mom lets out her own heavy sigh as she realizes that this is going to be the tone for the rest of dinner. They have a lot of questions to answer and not nearly enough alcohol in their system. “Well good thing Cliff here brought a few extra bottles of wine…”
His dad finally speaks up, “And we can save the vodka for after dinner, I think your mother and I might need it.”