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Jade Sundae

Summary:

Yao Guang was most enamored by the cat cakes that looked like the two of them. Sunday, however, was not too thrilled about the prospect. The reasoning was simple: he was a bird, they were cats, and his wings were on the menu.

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The creatures were all undeniably very cute. The problem was that they were cat cakes. Sunday might as well be a walking rotisserie chicken to them. Even though they sat mostly motionless atop the cat tree aside from the sway of their gelatinous bodies, their wide eyes instilled a sense of fear into him.

Dying to a train being railed through his body or the universe being severed in half were different kinds of pain compared to being mauled to death by hungry little kitties. They stared off blankly into space, deprived of any thought, though that did not make Sunday any less terrified. Could cat cakes smell fear, actually? Sunday hoped not as he wiped away the sweat on his forehead with his wing.

At least Yao Guang seemed to be getting along with them quite well. Or perhaps, this was all part of their plan to get a taste of that sweet, sweet peacock. With the way she was squishing one between her hands like a stress toy, though, Sunday felt as if he didn’t have to worry about her. If she had to, Yao Guang could bounce a clan of rogue cat cakes off of the Astral Express’s walls.

Sunday looked back at the ones before him on the tower. A cat cake was staring at him with wide eyes, but it felt like he was looking into a window of a vacant home. No lights on, no signs of life to be found. He then glanced down at his arm. Since joining the Astral Express, he had gained a few pounds thanks to Welt and Himeko, as well as the trio dragging him to food stalls at every given opportunity. His muscle development was another story, however, and he didn’t want to find out the hard way if he was physically capable of fighting off a swarm of squishy, ravenous predators.

"Making friends over there, little Sunsun?" Yao Guang said.

Sunday turned back around to face her. In her hands, she held a light green cat cake, its appearance reminiscent of the General herself. Its diamond pupils were just as thoughtless the others as it was being squished by her arms.

"...I’m not sure if I would classify it as a friend," Sunday said, side eyeing the beast on the tower.

Sunday jumped out of his skin. The cat that had been staring him down stretched its body upwards and towards him, as if it were attempting to inconspicuously sneak a bite. Its body rebounded back in place, swaying from the elastic motion.

"Aw, come on! I think it likes you!~"

"Likes the taste of chicken, maybe."

Sunday was unaware of the gentle swaying of his wings on the side of his head. The feathers were simply too tempting for the brainless cake creature, and so it once again stretched itself outwards as far as its body would allow it.

Monch.

The cat cake sprang back, feather in mouth. Sunday’s head was pulled to the side along with it. It chewed on his feathers; though it hadn’t quite reached his flesh, it was still a great nuisance. He slid his wing out of the creature’s mouth, then held it in close ahead as to not make himself easy pickings once again.

Oblivious to Sunday nearly becoming prey, Yao Guang continued lovingly squishing the jade green cat cake in her hands. She was most enamored by the creature, which donned a jade green shell adored with peacock feather designs and a pale white filling, mirroring her own appearance. Yao Guang turned it around so that its light purple eyes were blankly gazing at him, and she practically shoved the creature into his face. Instinctively, Sunday took a step back, the creature jiggling a mere few inches away from his face.

[Munya munya?]

"Give him a little squish," Yao Guang invited.

Hesitantly, Sunday reached his palm out. He pushed down on top of the shell, watching the creature’s body wiggle and wave like a gelatinous dessert. He took another step back, expecting the creature to stretch forth for the kill, but it merely blinked at him.

Maybe he was lucky Yao Guang’s nails had a firm grip on its shell.

"See? Aren’t they most adorable, darling?" she said, beaming with a smile as she squished the cat cake.

Adorable, as in absolutely terrifying. The cat cake’s soulless eyes stared into Sunday, with his whole body a prime target standing out in the open.

"Yes, they...they are," he said, breaking eye contact with the General’s beast.

Yao Guang stashed the creature under her arm. "But this one is even cuter. It looks just like you!"

Sunday looked to the tree beside him. A blue and white cat cake with little wings on its gold-adorned shell had been staring at him. In its mouth, a little gray feather hung.

Ah. The gluttonous culprit.

Sunday looked back at Yao Guang, fear lingering in his eyes. On the contrary, she was most delighted at the similarities between the two.

[...Munyua?]

"Uh..."

They shared a rather pathetic glint in their golden eyes. Both of them were adorned with thorns and feathers, and their color schemes were practically the same. But Sunday wasn’t quite sure how to feel about being called similar to a predator out for his chicken wings.

"I almost can’t tell the difference!" she said.

Yao Guang narrowed her eyes for a moment.

"And an adventurous fortune awaits the both of you in the near and far future.”

"Miss Yao...though our appearances may be strikingly similar, I do not harbor the same craving for Halovian flesh," Sunday said, trying to pull his wings in even closer.

Ignoring him, Yao Guang nudged him aside and placed the jade cake on top of Sunday’s gelatinous doppelganger. She then grabbed the little stack from the bottom and proudly held them in her hands. Either the cat cakes were lighter than he thought, or Madame Yao was incredibly strong: one conjecture he had no interest in risking finding out, and the other he was all too familiar with.

Though stacking was part of their normal behaviors, Sunday knew that Yao Guang was far too enamored by White Jade Green Dumping atop Sundae Angelica.

"They really are just like us!" she said with glee.

Sunday would be willing to agree. If their two little lookalikes were not currently eyeing him up.

"Oh, we have to get more of these for ourselves,” Yao Guang continued. “Perhaps Ruan Mei would be willing to bake a few more cakes for us.”

Despite the weight that her words carried, Yao Guang’s suggestion went in one ear and out the other. Sunday could not shake himself of the fear of the two cat cakes she held eyeing him up for some Penacony fried chicken. If they were not being held back by an Arbiter General’s grasp, they would not hesitate to stretch forth and sink their little teeth into his flesh.

Aeons help us all.