Chapter Text
Jesper: Fancy cover. Only question: why am I not on it?
Nina: Because the crow is the main character, silly.
Jesper: They’re also calling our heist impossible. And Wylan dangerous!
Inej: You’re impossible.
Wylan: Why can’t I be dangerous?
Inej: Shut up, all of you. Can we just start the book already?
Jesper: I dunno, it’s spreading some harmful misinformation, Inej…
Matthias: I can’t believe Nina’s making us read this.
Jesper: She didn’t even deliver on the free chips ahoy!
Nina: Now wait a minute—
Wylan: *near tears* There’s no chips ahoy?!
Nina: *shouting* I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD TEAM BONDING EXPERIENCE! SHUT UP AND ENJOY IT!
BLURB:
KETTERDAM: A bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price- and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker.
Jesper: I know that too. I think everyone here knows that.
Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone…
Jesper: Obviously.
A convict with a thirst for revenge.
Nina: Haha convict
Matthias: *choked noises*
A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager.
Jesper: Fair enough.
A runaway with a privileged past.
Wylan: *grumbling* Privileged.
Jesper: You sound the most mysterious, at least.
A spy known as the Wraith.
Inej: I only get 6 words?
Jesper: Nevermind, she’s the most mysterious.
A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.
Nina: What do you mean “surviving”?! I was way better off than the rest of you!
Inej: You were eating waffles out of a shoe.
Nina: I don’t see how that impacts my statement
A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.
Jesper: A thief with a gift for unlikely shows of affection.
Kaz: *stares*
Jesper: *stares back*
Kaz’s crew are the only ones who might stand between the world and destruction- if they don’t kill each other first.
Jesper: Hehe * takes out knife*
Inej: Please, Jesper.
Nina: Well, this should be interesting!
Jesper: I’ll stay, I guess. It’s not like I have anything better to do.
Inej: And I would love to know what happened when I wasn’t around!
Matthias: I have no choice, I suppose. Nina said she would kill my uncle if I didn’t “support her idea”.
Jesper: You have a family??
Nina: *threatening stare*
Matthias: No. But I’m not taking any chances.
Nina: How about you, Wylan?
Wylan:
Wylan: I know you have those chips ahoy, Nina.
Nina: …what?
Wylan: I’m not leaving till you tell me where they’re hiding.
Kaz: I’m leaving. This is a waste of my time.
Nina: Nooo! Don’t you want to read about your thoughts?
Kaz: No. I can read them in my head.
Nina: What about Inej’s thoughts?
Inej: What’s that supposed to mean?!
Kaz: That’s a violation of privacy, Nina.
Nina: Oh, come on! Since when do you care about privacy?! *drags him back* You’re going sit here and pretend to care.
Kaz: Ok, sounds good.
Nina: Because if not—wait, what?
Kaz: Saints, just start the book already.
Nina: *conspiratory glance at Jesper*
Nina: ookay, I guess we’re starting then.
LATER, IN THE KITCHEN
Nina: He literally heard “Inej’s thoughts” and sprinted towards the chair lmao
Jesper: I know, I know
Nina: It’s almost painful.
Wylan: The plot thickens.
Nina: *screams*
Nina: Wylan, where did you come from?!
Wylan: From the fridge. Searching for the saintsforsaken cookies you promised me, you liar.
Nina: Did you just swear in Ravkan?
Wylan: Did you just change the subject, again?
Jesper: Do I… need to call someone?