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If I told you we could bathe in all the lights
Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky?
Would you trust me when you're jumping from the heights?
Would you fall in the name of love?
—
Every time he wakes up, he's certain he's about to find out it was all just a dream. That he'll open his eyes and be back in his stateroom, having never applied for emergency leave, because they never actually found him. That he's gotten so desperate that he's fully dreamed up a reality where they rescued Mav, where they brought him home.
He's bracing himself for that reality to hit so much so that it takes a few too-long moments before he registers the warmth pressed up against him. The warmth he's so tightly curled around.
The instant it registers to him that it's Mav in his arms, that he's real and warm and safe- all the tension drops out of him, the rush of adrenaline leaving him as soon as it came. He tries to relax around him, worried about waking him from holding on too tight.
He just presses his nose into Mav's hair and breathes him in, trying to steady himself, to pull himself together. Mav's going to need him to be in control when he wakes up, and he can't be falling apart at the simple reality that Maverick made it home.
He's relieved that at least it seems Mav will sleep through the night this time. He can count one one hand the nights Mav's made it through without waking up from a nightmare since they got home from the hospital(s).
Not that he can blame him. Mav won't talk about it - and Ice won't make him - but he's gotten the broad strokes of it from some of the things he's muttered in his sleep. He does his best to not make that clear - the last thing he wants is Mav feeling like Ice is digging for truth that he doesn't want to share.
They can't continue like this, though. The bags under Mav's eyes are just getting deeper, and he still hasn't managed to regain the weight he'd lost.
Worse, maybe, than all of that, is the fact that there's no promise in sight that they'll let Mav fly again anytime soon. And Ice knows just how much that alone is killing him.
He can't kill Mav's demons for him, but maybe- maybe he can help get him in the air again.
—
It's a gamble, in part because the place he gets his hands on is in the desert, and he's not sure how Mav will do with being back in one, even if it's an entirely different type of desert. Does trauma care if the desert is high-altitude or not?
Is it worth the risk of setting him back and ruining the precious few steps of progress they've made so far?
He thinks it might be. He knows just how important flying is to Maverick, how much his love breathes the sky.
Still, that doesn't help the uncharacteristic nervousness he feels when it comes time to tell him about it, the anxiety that lurks in his gut. All he wants, desperately, is to see the light return to Maverick's eyes. To see the spark of warmth that belongs there, that isn't forced there just because Pete is worried about him.
So he makes himself do it over breakfast, as casual as he can. "Think you're up for a bit of a trip this weekend?" he asks, glancing over at Mav.
Maverick blinks, and only looks a little suspicious - it's a sign of just how much he trusts Ice. Ice doesn't take that for granted. "A trip where?" he asks carefully.
"Couple hours north, near the state line," Ice replies. Mav will know the terrain up there, will know Ice means somewhere in the desert.
He can tell the moment Maverick realizes it, the way he stills and then very carefully smooths out his expression into something neutral. "What for?" he asks.
Ice braces himself. "Do you trust me?" he asks softly, reaching for Mav's hand over the table, squeezing it lightly.
"Always," Maverick insists, squeezing back hard.
"For something I think you'll like," Ice says, swallowing back the emotion that surges up at how insistent Mav is in making him understand. That no matter what he'd been put through, he was still the Maverick that Ice knew and loved.
"Alright," Maverick says, nodding once. "Sure. What do I need to bring?"
"Whatever you want to wear for a couple of days and toiletries." Ice would handle the rest - including a spare flightsuit. He's already gotten a new helmet made for Mav, and it was delivered to the spot earlier that week.
"Do I get a hint?" Maverick asks, watching him curiously. It's the most open he's looked in days.
"Do you want one?" Ice asks honestly. If Mav says yes, he'll give him one. He doesn't want to blindside him, or do anything that might set him back.
Maverick chews on the thought for a bit, before shaking his head. "Nah. I'm good for now."
Ice smiles at him, warm and reassuring, before lifting Mav's hand and kissing the back of it. "Thank you for trusting me," he murmurs, though he knows Mav doesn't necessarily want to be thanked for that.
"You're my wingman," Maverick replies, the ghost of a smile starting to pull at the edges of his expression.
Ice will take any progress he can get.
—
The weekend is suddenly upon them, and Ice has only left Mav alone at the house once - to go collect those flightsuits. If Mav's starting to bristle under the lack of solitude, he hasn't mentioned it. And Ice gets the feeling he won't - that he's grateful for every moment that he has tangible proof that he isn't alone.
They leave early in the morning, the sun still rising in the east, and Ice stifles the yawn as they hit the road. As soon as they pass an open coffee shop, he stops to get them some fuel, before continuing on. After that, they don't stop again, driving for a few hours as the sun starts to climb above them.
Maverick is tense beside him, and clearly trying not to be, the longer they drive into the desert, and the hotter it gets outside their windows.
Ice offers him his hand, leaving it palm-up on the console, letting Mav decide if he wants to reach for him or not.
For a while, Mav doesn't, but just before they get close to their destination, he takes Ice's hand. Ice squeezes, interlacing their fingers, trying to give Mav whatever comfort he wants to accept.
"We almost there?" Mav eventually asks, drinking the last of his iced coffee - more melted ice than coffee, at this point.
"Yeah, just a few more minutes," Ice answers.
Maverick relaxes then, and it's only because Ice knows him so well that he can tell it takes a conscious effort.
He doesn't draw attention to it, just holding Mav's hand for as long as he wants it.
He pulls off the freeway then, onto a road that looks like it might have been paved sometime in the last decade, maybe. It occurs to Ice that he hasn't seen the place in person, and he might have driven them both all the way out here just to find out he'd been scammed.
Ice would like to think that the Navy itself wouldn't scam him, but he supposes there was a first for everything.
They climb out of a dip, and suddenly the massive building pulls into view. Ice can all but feel Mav straightening up beside him to look closer. It doesn't take more than a heartbeat for him to realize that he's being taken to a hangar.
"Ice?" he asks cautiously.
"Yeah, Mav?" Ice asks, driving straight for the hangar doors. If his contact had told the truth, there should be a little Cessna waiting for them inside.
"What is this?"
Ice glances over to him, spots the moment Mav must see the faded UNITED STATES NAVY painted along the top of the hangar doors. He blinks in surprise, eyes widening.
"Thought you could use a little getaway," Ice says carefully. "It's yours."
"…What?" Maverick asks, no longer looking out the windshield, staring at Ice instead.
"I figured it might help you to have somewhere to go to when you needed it. And…" instead of trying to explain, he just parks by the front of the hangar. "Well. C'mon," he says, hopping out of the car and waiting for Mav before he opens the door.
He peeks in first, relieved to see that he hadn't been let down. The Cessna isn't theirs, but its owner was more than happy to let him borrow it for an extended period once Ice had explained - vaguely - what it was for. What he was trying to help his wingman deal with.
He got the feeling the old man either knew firsthand what he was talking about, or had been close with someone who had.
"Ice, what-" Maverick starts, and trails off as he steps up behind him and goes still when he sees the plane, parked in the center of the empty hangar. "What is- what?"
"I thought you might like to go fly," Ice says carefully, forcing himself to turn and look at Mav's expression, hoping desperately that he hasn't fucked up here.
"You…got a plane?" Maverick asks.
"Well- no. Borrowed a plane. I do have to give it back eventually," Ice answers.
"…and the hangar?"
"That one's yours."
"What do you mean 'mine'?" Maverick asks, staring at him in disbelief.
"It's all yours, Mav. Got the deed over there," Ice answers, gesturing toward the far wall, where some basic utilities have been installed.
"You…bought me a hangar?" Maverick repeats, clearly resistant to accepting that this might be real.
"I…yeah," Ice says, glancing away, feeling absurdly shy for a moment. If he lets himself think about it too much, this probably is the biggest gesture he's made for Maverick yet.
"Ice…" Maverick starts, but trails off. And then shakes his head, clearly deciding that whatever he wanted to ask (probably 'are you serious' or something to that effect) was unnecessary. What he does finally say surprises Ice, though it probably shouldn't have. "Thank you," Maverick rasps, his voice uneven.
"Of cou-" Ice starts to say, but he's interrupted by Maverick's hand fisting in his jacket and dragging him down to kiss him hard. He's tense with surprise for all of half a second, before he melts into the contact, reaching up to cup the back of Mav's neck and hold him close, kissing him back slow and heavy. The sound he makes into Mav's lips is a little desperate, a little pained, and mostly relieved.
Maverick doesn't let him pull away, chasing him up when he tries to take a breath, kissing him until he worries he might pass out. He's hardly complaining, swamped with aching relief at how alive Maverick feels in his arms, at the warmth in his gaze.
The spark he's been so desperately trying to help rekindle is back, and Ice will do whatever it takes to keep it alive.
—
When there's madness, when there′s poison in your head
When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed
I will hold you in the depths of your despair
And it′s all in the name of love
