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Days where progress had slowed or hit a wall turned into nights where Grace’s mind moved too fast. Overthinking kept him awake as doubts ebbed out of the recesses of his mind, and into the forefront of his nightmares. On those nights, when he did his best to fall asleep, he saw the faces of his kids, miserable, all because he couldn’t find a way to save the future.
His own failures drifted into his mind a lot. Not only the consistent failures of his career, where he was proved wrong at every moment, but personal ones as well. The kind about estranged friendships and past lovers. People who walked away because his head was in the clouds.
Just once, Grace wanted to be proved wrong in a way that was good. Maybe there was a lifeform out there that didn’t need water. But thoughts like that had to be put on hold for the mission.
If only the nightmares could do the same.
The present nightmare slowly creeped up on him. He was alone in his company provided room— because why would there be any people there— only half-covered by his sheets. His body writhed around while his mind was tormented. Visions flashed in between the darkness. In his dream, he stood alone in the middle of a dead empire, a frozen desert of what once was.
Any sign of life had long since dried up, thin and dry and all curled up, seeking the comfort of something that would never come. It looked like a flower that would never bloom. Those dry little mounds needed sunlight. They needed water. The things Grace couldn’t provide. And Grace needed—
…A delicate beeping noise chirped beside him. It came from a machine. Grace’s eyelids raised just enough so that he was pulled from nowhere and back into his room. His eyes drifted from the ceiling and over to his side, where a nightstand was. More importantly, where his phone rested in its charger. Ah, the beeping came from his phone.
Grace needed to answer that.
He turned his body towards the noise, groggy though he was, and partially blinded thanks to the light of his phone screen. Squinting, Grace saw that the name 'Director Stratt' was emblazoned across the screen. Grace didn’t have any photo attached to her contact, only because Grace had not asked her for a picture. He could just as easily download one from online, but he figured they could take one together. Not that he took photos often. No, that wasn’t right. Why was Stratt calling him in the wee small hours of the morning?
Grace answered his phone, and Stratt definitely said something on the other end, but he did not hear it. That was because Grace spoke over her, asking “How do you do it?”
“Pardon?” Stratt responded. That, he heard.
“Nevermind,” Grace mumbled, “I’m sleep talking. What did you say first?”
“I’ve added another task to your schedule tomorrow, I wanted to inform you of it ahead of time,” said Stratt.
“And you could only tell me now?” went Grace. He wasn’t trying to be snippy, but the words came out of him before he could think.
“I checked to make sure you were awake first,” Stratt answered.
“Huh? How did you do that?” The cold sweat Grace had sticking to his body said otherwise. He had definitely been asleep, much to his chagrin.
“The light is still on in your room,” Stratt responded.
“No it’s not,” said Grace.
Stratt got quiet at the other end of the line. If Grace focused, he could faintly hear the clicking sound of a keyboard. Stratt was typing something. She was also in front of a computer, somewhere.
“Oh,” went Stratt. “I was looking at the wrong camera.”
“What?”
“Disregard that. My apologies, Doctor Grace, I’ve woken you up, haven’t I?” said Stratt.
Of all the things! Grace both really wanted to know more about the cameras, but also, truth be told, he did not want to know. It was probably one of those things where the old adage, ignorance is bliss, should be applied. Still, that didn’t stop Grace from lazily moving his eyes across the room.
“That’s uh, fine. I wasn’t really sleeping, anyway,” said Grace.
“You haven’t?”
Great, now Stratt was concerned. If there really were cameras in his room, Stratt was probably zooming in close to see his expression. He needed to get Stratt to forget about it.
“It’s, y’know, a Grace thing.”
“A Grace thing?” Stratt repeated.
“We Graces always have trouble sleeping,” he answered.
“Going back how many generations?”
“I don’t know,” said Grace, caught in a lie. “It’s a me thing, I guess.”
“That won’t do at all,” said Stratt.
“Huh?”
“Doctor Grace, you are important to the mission, I can’t have you keeling over from exhaustion,” Stratt sighed.
The sound of typing was caught by the microphone of Stratt’s phone again, too. What was she even doing on the computer? Grace was certain that Stratt had a file on him. Maybe she was updating that. Yeah, that must be it. In her own clinical way of describing it, she was adding a note all about his late night ramblings.
“It’s fine Stratt, really. I’ve just been stressed. Nothing big,” said Grace. And, to stop Stratt from responding, or to at least stop himself from hearing Stratt’s response, he added, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He pulled his phone away from his ear and hung up. If he wasn’t using his phone as his alarm, he’d turn it off as well. Thankfully, Stratt got the message and didn’t call him back. It was complicated, but he didn’t want to hear her voice at that moment. He didn’t want to hear anyone’s voice, really.
Grace put his phone back on the nightstand and turned away. He didn’t want to hear his thoughts, either. Those were always harder to block out. Grace instead chose to think of the things that made him happy. Simple things like the fog, the smile of one of his students after getting a tricky question right, or when Stratt let him some astrophage to work on.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, Grace fell asleep. Like before, he awoke to the beeping of his phone, though that time it was his alarm, rather than a call. Checking his schedule on his phone, the first thing Grace had to do was the thing that Stratt called him about. In fact, his whole morning was blocked out. Stratt had labeled it as ‘Enrichment Training,’ whatever that meant.
Oh well. Grace was always doing things for Stratt, and Enrichment Training was simply another one of those things. He got dressed quickly, and headed to the listed area to do whatever that selfsame training was. Grace couldn’t even guess. Were they enriching soil? That didn’t seem right.
His thoughts aside, the location for that morning’s training was a single room with only a few lights on, smaller than Stratt’s office. It looked barren, save for a table in the middle, and Stratt herself. On the table was a stack of paper along with a projector. The kind that used to be common in schools, before they could project directly from a computer screen, specifically. That must’ve been what the paper was for.
“I’m glad you could make it,” Stratt said, noticing Grace’s arrival. She stood up to greet him.
“Wouldn’t miss it, especially since you called me about it,” Grace responded.
“Actually, this experiment isn’t what I called you about.”
“What’s it for, then?”
“Enrichment,” Stratt answered. “Just watch for a moment.”
Stratt sat down in front of the projector, picked up a piece of paper, and placed it onto the projector. Grace stared at the wall, and watched as Stratt’s fingers pushed the image into the correct orientation. The image that was broadcast onto the wall was that of a picture of a lake somewhere. It wasn’t anything he was familiar with. Stratt added another slip of paper on top of it, and the image on the wall changed into a photo of a library.
Satisfied with her demonstration, she gestured at Grace to place the next one down. Grace walked up to the stack of paper, and rummaged through them. A lot of the pictures that Stratt had printed out were typical, landscapes or stock photos of some odd environment. Or at least, Grace thought they were stock photos. When Grace spotted a picture of an empty classroom, he stopped.
“When did you take this?” he asked.
“A while ago,” Stratt quickly answered. “For data.”
That answer made him uneasy. Still, he placed the image on the projector, and stared at it on the wall. It was a little bit fuzzy, but if he stared long enough, Grace felt as though he was there. Not directly, but like looking at his classroom through a layer of fog.
“I don’t get it,” said Grace.
“I’ve come to realize the necessity of enrichment. To use an example you Americans might be familiar with,” Stratt began, searching her mind for something appropriate. She clearly did think it necessary to elaborate on how she came to that conclusion. Grace could take a guess, though. After a beat passed, she continued “It’s like how scientists brought along their families to Los Alamos. It was considered necessary if they were going to work in the middle of nowhere.”
“That’s… nice of you.”
“Not really, I’m simply doing what is necessary,” said Stratt. Grace wished she’d take the compliment.
“Okay, but still,” went Grace, before turning to the stack of photos. “It’s nice. Is there anything in here that you chose for yourself?”
“All of them, I suppose. I printed them out,” Stratt answered. “‘I’ll have to get better photos for the Hail Mary, and something more convenient to project from as well.”
“Aw, I kinda like the projector,” Grace commented.
“Do you feel nostalgic about it?”
“Only a little bit.”
“Then it is a good thing you are not the one boarding the Hail Mary, then,” said Stratt.
Lacking a response, Grace placed another photo onto the projector. It was an image of a park during the summer. There were blurry figures running around in the background, while in the foreground a couple sat underneath a large tree. The leaves cast shadows over them, so they looked spotty and half illuminated. Despite that, their smiles still shined brightly.
Grace placed another down, which was soon followed by a second and a third. It was a simple kind of fun. Once he had cycled through the pictures, he returned to the one of his classroom. He hadn’t been thinking about it, but it probably didn’t look like that anymore. It wasn’t as though he was currently working there, so whatever teacher that was may have taken his decorations down.
He was tempted to ask Stratt if she knew anything about it, but then she stood up, and Grace let go of the thought.
“You can stay here all morning if you wish,” she said. “Send me your feedback when you are done, as always.”
“You’re leaving?” went Grace, standing up as well. He nearly tripped over his chair as he took a step closer to Stratt.
“Yes. The thing I called you about yesterday still needs to be done, regardless of your involvement,” Stratt answered.
“Wait, don’t go. I can come with you,” said Grace. He then gestured behind him and said “We don’t really need all this right now.”
“No, I believe you’re wrong, Doctor Grace. Like I said before, you are important to both me and the mission, and I don’t want to see you suffering over it,” Stratt said firmly.
It felt reassuring, though framed in a serious way that Stratt was always wont to do. She looked at him directly, and her gaze was a soothing, albeit stiff, expression. Stratt meant it. Grace was important to the mission.
And to her.
“All the more reason I should come along!” Grace exclaimed. He didn’t want to assume the depth of that statement, but he knew well enough that he shouldn’t disappoint her.
“Only if you’re truly up for it,” said Stratt.
“Absolutely!”
“Good man,” went Stratt. Her words caused Grace to freeze for a moment. It was unexpected, but it made Grace happy. It felt nice to be called good. “What’s with that look?” she added.
“N-nothing,” Grace stuttered. What did his face look like? Suddenly conscious of himself, stood there awkwardly trying to figure out what Stratt saw. His face was warm, was that it?
Stratt, meanwhile, was unsatisfied with his response. She closed the distance between them as she placed the palm of her hand on Grace’s forehead. Her touch was both delicate and a little bit cold. It felt refreshing. As a joke— or more accurately, feeling too bold— Grace leaned forward and into her touch, pressing against her palm. He stopped himself from going all the way and nuzzling her, however.
Grace saw Stratt looking up at him with a curious expression, a mixture between confusion and amusement. The corners of her lips curled into a faint smile, though she was trying to hide any emotion.
“Hm,” she hummed. “I’d say you’re in high enough spirits to come along.”
Now Grace was smiling. “Great,” he went, “I won’t let you down.”
Stratt pulled her hand away, but before she let her arm fall to the side she gently patted him on the shoulder. Grace’s body buzzed with excitement wherever she touched.
“You have yet to,” Stratt said. She moved away to open the door, but stopped just as her fingertips reached the doorknob. “Oh,” she added, “I’d still like to hear your feedback.”
“I think there should be more photos. Videos too,” said Grace. Stratt had only printed out a handful. There was much more she could’ve included. Not just landscapes, but views from different countries. After all, Grace’s classroom won’t mean the same thing to the people boarding the Hail Mary.
Photos… He needed a photo, too, didn’t he? What was it? It’s on the tip of his tongue.
“I’ll make arrangements for that,” said Stratt.
“Wait!” went Grace, his voice louder than intended. As Stratt turned around to look at him, Grace continued speaking. “Can I, uh, get a photo of you?”
“For the projector?”
“For my phone. I don’t have a contact photo of you!”
Stratt’s brow knitted together, which made it very obvious to Grace that he had spoken out of turn. She took a moment to think, clearly trying to process his request. That one moment felt much longer, and Grace wished that Stratt would just say no and move on.
“Alright,” Stratt said instead. “Take your phone out.”
“Okay.” Grace didn’t expect that. She must’ve been justifying the importance of the photo to the mission.
Grace fumbled around in his pockets and quickly grabbed his phone. Without wasting any time, he pulled up the camera. The room was still dark because of the projector, but that was fine. Stratt’s face never looked more clear.
“When you’re ready,” said Stratt. She didn’t change her expression for Grace’s photo.
Grace liked it better that way. It made her look cool. Of course, when he did take her picture, he still took a few, just in case Stratt happened to blink in one of them.
“Wow, thanks,” said Grace, swiping through the photos. The camera actually picked up a fair bit of light from the projector nearby. There was a soft glow around her. Stratt didn’t blink in any of them. His photo was perfect. Stratt was perfect.
“Did you want me to take your photo as well?” Stratt asked.
“Nah, I don’t need one of myself.”
“Hm,” Stratt hummed, planning something. “I might still want one.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Grace asked.
“Nothing you need to worry about. We should be getting out of here instead, I don’t want to keep anyone waiting,” said Stratt.
Stratt was able to open the door without any additional thoughts coming to her. Grace nearly followed her out, but he stopped to first turn off the projector. The image of his classroom blipped off the wall. He felt a bit melancholic as it disappeared, but Grace knew he couldn’t dwell on it. He would be back in a classroom, one day.
Until then, he had a job to do. Grace stepped out of the Enrichment Training room, and caught up to Stratt. Now by her side, Stratt nodded in acknowledgment, and Grace smiled in return.