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It started a few months after he got his powers back. An all consuming headache that kept him holed up in his room the entire day. For the first time in years, when his mother insisted that he go outside, she listened when he said he couldn't.
Maybe it was the fact he hadn't gotten out of bed. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't put on his glasses. Maybe it was the fact the room was artificially dark in a way that was more creepy than anything else and it felt like you had stepped into a soundless void where noise barely traveled with a block of ice on his head. . . But his mom didn't bother him.
The next day he was still worn out, likely from not eating and hardly sleeping, but his head stopped feeling like it was on the verge of exploding. Or leaking out his ears. One of the two.
However when it continued and started lasting longer, that's when enough was enough.
"Kusuo! What a surprise, it's been a while since you've teleported to see me."
The headache wasn't so incredibly awful that he couldn't get out of bed, but the bright LED lights had to go.
"Something is wrong, I take it."
Saiki managed to look up at his brother with only a slight glare and then winced as he realized he had broken all the lights in the lab.
"Would you like to explain?"
He stumbled to the chair next to his brother and let his head rest on the cool surface of the table.
"My skull feels close to exploding."
Kusuke was quiet long enough that Saiki turned to look at him.
"Any bleeding from the ears, nose, or eyes?"
Saiki squinted, irritated. "No."
"Any problems with power control?"
Saiki glanced at the floor and Kusuke followed his eyes.
"Does that happen every time?"
"Whatever room I'm in usually becomes unnaturally dark and void-like in its silence."
"Is that conscious?"
Saiki sighed and stood up on much shakier feet than he had before he arrived.
Waste of time.
"I've been messing with your brain since you were 8 years old, Kusuo. I'm trying to see if there's actual pressure built up in your brain, or if you're just a human with a headache."
He sat back down. "I don't get headaches."
Kusuke crossed his arms. "Which is a miracle on its own, I might add. For all intents and purposes, you should."
"I only get headaches after I predict the future."
"And I take it that hasn't happened?"
"These headaches come out of nowhere and can leave me bedridden."
Kusuke frowned and pulled up something on his computer. "Your limiter monitors your brain waves to tell me if something alarming is happening that I should be concerned about, but other than spikes in your pain receptors, you're fine."
Saiki glared.
"Haha! Now you're angry, I'm watching the spike happen in real time."
"I'm leaving if you can't help me."
"I'm going to give you an MRI, see if this is what I think it is or something else."
Kusuke pulled on him to make him stand and Saiki had to lean on Kusuke far more than he would have liked to stop his vision from spinning. And swirling. And blurring. Something was definitely wrong.
"Well I take it you wanted to ask me what I think is wrong, but a wave of nausea has just hit you and you can't form words properly. My running theory is that my ongoing manipulation of your brain to suppress your powers has a nasty side effect of giving you migraines. I imagine the reason you didn't notice until now is a result of your body's healing factor. Any time a migraine likely could have made itself known, there were too many things going on in your body to allow it to happen. Quite the fascinating process if I'm right." The blonde snickered and looked at his brother. "And let's face it, when am I wrong?"
Saiki wanted to roll his eyes, but he felt like he was simultaneously swimming through water and punching through rock.
"Anywho!" Saiki winced at the volume. "I had my suspicions when your powers came back that your body's ability to heal itself was greater than I anticipated, not to mention how your reliance and adjustment to your powers has changed you on a physiological level."
Saiki didn't even want to think about what that meant right now.
"But I didn't expect killing a part of your brain and then letting it stitch itself back together to have this specific consequence. If I'm right, again, we know I am, that means your brain at some point did fail at putting itself back together the way it was before. This would explain why now you're able to get migraines! From a scientific standpoint, it really is quite interesting, however your silence is deeply upsetting so I'm going to fix this immediately after I'm proven right by the MRI."
Saiki turned his head, wanting to ask his question, but his entire body suddenly felt like it was on fire and his brain felt close to boiling. The spots in his vision weren't helping anything either.
"Why am I doing an MRI if I know what the problem is already?"
Saiki made a noise that he hoped sounded less pathetic and more acknowledging.
"Because unfortunately the apes and monkeys on this planet still don't know the exact reason why migraines happen, so I'm going to have to enter the field myself. Until that happens, you need a 'legal'," at the word legal Kusuke mimed throwing up, "prescription of migraine reducers. Don't believe all the advertisements though, you'll still get migraines and they'll probably feel worse since you'll be having them less often, but the goal is to just get you to a functioning human being."
Nothing about that sounds appealing.
"If you're frustrated about this, imagine how I feel! I have to work side by side with idiots!"
Saiki blacked out after Kusuke took out his limiter. Removing it from his brain was far more painful than it ever had been in all his life. That same pain woke him up when he put it back in.
"What. The hell."
Kusuke hummed as Saiki forced himself up off the cold metal slab that was the MRI machine.
"That's." Kusuke didn't finish, but Saiki could feel the word hanging in the air.
Concerning.
The fact removing his limiter caused him excruciating pain was concerning. Kusuke didn't get concerned.
Saiki lied back down.
Going home can wait when I have feeling in my fingers and toes again.
-
Saiki decided that migraines sucked. He also decided that, even though it made him deeply uncomfortable, his brother was right. For as long as people had been experiencing migraines, the lack of a cure felt like lunacy.
Temporary relief was easy. Permanent relief? Not so much. And it's not like Saiki didn't try. He had all these powers. He could quite literally change the human genome. The problem lied in the fact that since nobody knew what caused chronic migraines, Saiki couldn't get rid of them.
He felt angry and humiliated that his own body was turning on him so violently that it was leaving him bedridden. Him! Saiki Kusuo! Psychic extraordinaire. It was infuriating. But most days he couldn't do more than wait for his migraines to pass. The medication helped of course, after changing it for the third time, but he still got migraines. Sometimes 4 times a month he'd end up bedridden and other times he'd have a migraine that lasted for a week but was a lower level of pain. He preferred being bedridden.
He forced himself up and stabilized himself by stumbling to his desk chair.
Kokomi was coming over and he would like to be semi presentable before she arrived, but with strict rules to not use his powers at all while he was experiencing migraines lest, he made them worse, he wasn't feeling confident.
He took deep slow breaths as he shuffled towards his dresser to at least put on a shirt. Scratch that, he was wearing the sweater Kokomi got him. Not nearly as much work as his button downs.
He trudged slowly down the stairs and to the kitchen where his mom was drinking tea and reading.
She glanced up at him with a smile that quickly morphed into a frown at his appearance.
"Bad day?" She asked quietly as she brushed down his unruly hair with her fingers. "It's getting so long, you should cut it, dear."
He leaned his head on his mother's shoulder as he tried to fight down the urge to use his cryokinesis to cool down his overheating body.
"It would make your life easier."
It would also be giving into the migraines, something he refused to do.
His mom sat him down in a dining chair and got him a cold compress to put on his forehead.
"My poor baby boy, is the medicine not working again?"
This is actually one of my better days.
He put a hand on the compress to keep it on his forehead while he made himself breakfast.
"You should rest, Ku."
He had things to do.
He made a very meager breakfast of reheated eggs and rice before sitting back at the table to eat. He took the compress off to resign himself to the low level resting ache that would be with him for the rest of the day.
"Please don't start crying." He knew it was vain to talk like this right now, and useless as she wouldn't hear him, but it was what he had done for so long.
Saiki could almost hear his mother's bottom lip quiver.
"I know you hate it when I cry, but I! I just, but- but I just feel so bad! My little baby is in pain and I can't do anything!"
Not crying so loudly would help.
"Oh I wish Big Ku would come up with a fix for this already!"
You and everyone else who experiences chronic migraines.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know this isn't helping." Kurumi wiped at her face quickly.
"I'm fine, mom." He would have slapped himself in the face if he didn't think it would aggravate his migraine.
He cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm fine, mom. You finding another one of these has helped immensely."
The geranium ring glinted in the light.
Kurumi pouted. "That hardly feels like enough."
Saiki stood and put his dishes in the sink. He'd wash them later if his mom didn't beat him to it.
I'm not having this conversation for the 13th time.
A knock at the door was his saving grace and his downfall.
The loud noise echoed in his brain and rattled around in his mind, forcing him to take more deep breaths before making his way to the door.
He hoped the fact he was leaning in the frame of the door came off relaxed and not because he was feeling unwell.
It's not that Kokomi and his friends didn't know he had migraines, it was unavoidable, they just didn't know how bad.
He got enough pity from his mother, he didn't need it from everyone else in his life too.
"Hi." He said quietly, ignoring the guilt at how comparatively nice his girlfriend looked in comparison to himself.
Kokomi's bright smile dimmed. "Hi. You're sweating."
He stepped out of the doorway to let her in.
"It's warm."
Kokomi stepped inside and took off her shoes.
"You said temperature doesn't affect you because your body has temperature regulation."
When I'm allowed to use it.
"It's still warm."
Kokomi crossed her arms. "And you're talking."
Saiki closed the door and moved towards the stairs.
"Apparently it's rude to ignore people."
"You know that's not what I meant."
Some part of him whispered that he's being hypocritical for always saying Kokomi can tell him anything and then promptly not telling her about his chronic and occasionally debilitating migraines. . . But that was a future him problem.
He held up his right hand where the small ring sat instead of answering her question vocally.
"And why are you wearing your geranium ring?"
Flopping down onto his bed would only hurt his prospects of getting out of this conversation, which was annoying because the second he got out of bed today, the only thing he wanted to do was get back in it.
"I want to be able to focus on you without distractions."
Ordinarily he'd be a little more prideful about the fact he could get his girlfriend flustered so easily, but his migraine getting worse was putting a damper on the mood.
"Don't distract me!"
His poker face was exceptional considering he didn't wince at her sudden volume.
He sat down on his bed and fought the swimming of his vision.
"I'm not."
Kokomi stomped over to him and put her hands on her hips.
"Communication is what?"
He groaned, rolling his head instead of his eyes.
"Communication is what?" She pressed again.
"The most important thing in a relationship." He huffed, giving up on his fight against gravity and lying down.
"Kusuo, just tell me what's wrong because something is clearly wrong."
The concern in her voice is exactly the reason he doesn't want to tell her what's wrong, but that will make him sound like a terrible person and a horrible boyfriend.
He focused on his breathing for a while, following the blood pumping from his heart as it circled his body and brain.
"Kusuo." He leaned into the soft nails scratching lightly at his scalp.
Damn. I'm falling asleep.
"I can't help if you won't tell me what's wrong. And we both know I'm amazing at helping. And cooking, and cleaning, and running, and walking, and planning things, and eating--"
He snorted, cutting her off. "Everything then?"
"Well, duh."
He smiled.
"Talk to me or I'll be forced to do my special attack."
"Do your worst."
"All your powers won't be able to save you, are you sure you want to do this?"
"I fear no God. Only my mother and my girlfriend, but she's not mad."
Kokomi giggled and then cleared her throat. "I'm totally mad."
"Then I'm dead anyway."
Kokomi huffed and Saiki could see her rolling her eyes in his mind's eye.
"Alright, get ready for my unbeatable attack."
He braced himself, shifting his body so it was fully on the bed and waited for her to crawl on top of him and lay down on his chest.
With a little effort, she circled her arms underneath his body.
"I've got you trapped so I can do my finishing blow."
He opened his eyes, regretting the fact he didn't close the blinds as he did.
Earnestly and deeply she searched his face. "Please."
A well known fact about the world is that: what Kokomi Teruhashi wants, Kokomi Teruhashi gets.*
"Kusuo!"
He had half a mind to ignore his strict probation on using his powers to throw his desk chair at his brother's face.
"Oh. You're here as well."
He watched as Kokomi frowned, but when she turned to Kusuke, she was all smiles.
"Hello, Kusuke. I wasn't aware you were in the country."
"Haha! It never ceases to amaze me how someone with such an, unfortunately and objectively, pretty expression can say things with such venom! I'd love to study you."
Saiki sat up to glare, pain not forgotten, but temporarily ignored.
"Kidding, kidding."
The two teens stared at the older man.
"I'm touched. To be loved is to be seen."
Kokomi gagged and he leaned against his bedroom wall.
"30 seconds or less."
Kusuke's eyes widened before they caught on his geranium ring.
"Intriguing."
"23." He mumbled in response.
"That's hardly fair, little brother. I'm offering you assistance for your problem and you're trying to kick me out just because someone--"
"Girlfriend." Kokomi cut in.
"Parasite."
"Girlfriend." She gritted.
"Nuisance."
"Girlfriend." She huffed.
"Baboo--"
He was glad the clock missed because he wasn't exactly controlling his strength.
A razor thin cut started bleeding from Kusuke's cheek.
"You're not going to let me help you just because your girlfriend's here?"
Kokomi was frowning at him, but he could deal with that in a moment.
He stared expectantly at his brother, knowing he didn't actually have to speak.
"Well fine. But you need to start weaning yourself off your current dosage. I have new medicine I want you to try, but the old stuff has to be cleared from your system first."
"I'd rather eat nails."
Kusuke smiled. "It's just a week. And I want you to know I take absolutely no pleasure in this."
Though his tone didn't change, Saiki knew his brother was being genuine. Torture was only fun when it was handcrafted by him.
"Sorry, medicine?"
*See previous asterix.
Shit.
"Yes. Oh please do not tell me my brother is actually dating a moron."
"Numbers of pi, go."
"3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899. . . 9," Kusuke clicked his tongue. "Whatever. That's 80 digits."
Kokomi sat up straight as she turned to Saiki. "3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679. Why are you taking medicine and what for? Are you sick?"
"No. There's. You cheated." Kusuke hissed as he looked at his phone.
"Memorized up to the 200th digit." Kokomi started to glare. "If this is nothing, just tell me."
"Why on Earth do you have it memorized to the 200th digit? That's a waste of brain cells!"
"To annoy you."
"It's not important." Saiki mumbled, the sequence of numbers making his head hurt worse.
"You wouldn't say that if it wasn't."
"Your logic is deeply flawed." Kusuke butt in again.
Kokomi turned sharply on the older Saiki brother. "It worked to annoy you, which was purely the goal. I know at some point we are going to do this again and by then I will have it memorized up to the 300th digit just to spite you because I do. Not. Like you. And if you are referring to the reason I know my boyfriend is lying to me, that has more to do with the fact your ego is too large to recognize any other emotion in people other than annoyance." She turned back to Saiki. "Not to mention I've had enough sugary sweet lies for a lifetime, Kusuo. So do not lie to me and say that something is nothing when it's very obviously something and has been something for months."
"You can leave now, Kusuke."
"Well I'm inclined to stay and watch the show."
Kokomi got up and off the bed with an air so violent, you would think she was the one with powers.
"Get." She pressed a hand to Kusuke's chest, "out."
Kokomi swung the door so it would slam, but Kusuke caught it last minute. "Don't slam it. You'll make it worse."
With that cryptic message that Kusuo resolved to punish his brother deeply for, he left the room with a quiet click of the door.
"What was he talking about? What does he mean 'you'll make it worse'? I'll make what worse?"
If they were going to have this conversation, he wasn't going to do it with the bright light on his face.
Slowly, he got up and closed the blinds and then the second set of blinds he had installed when the original blinds no longer cut it.
He took off his glasses and set them on his nightstand.
More or less, it was like night had come early.
"Kusuo?"
He guided her to his bed in the dark so that she could lay on top of him again.
"You remember how you didn't want to tell me about how bad your periods were?" He murmured.
He could feel her nod against his chest.
"Same idea. Different bullshit."
She breathed out a soft chuckle and waited for him to continue.
He sighed, pressing his fingers into his eyes to try and release some of the tension behind them.
"When my brother tried to get rid of my powers permanently, he killed off the section of my brain that was most likely responsible for them." He mumbled.
Kokomi sat up and he put an arm over his eyes to remind himself not to open them.
"Sorry, did you just say he killed a part of your brain? As in the forced part of it to decay?"
"You destroy the neuro-pathways, destroy the ability."
"You can't see it, but I'm making a deeply concerned face right now."
I believe it.
"Is that why you have migraines now?"
Kokomi started playing with his hair again and it made him so immensely grateful they didn't do PDA because his friends would never let him hear the end of it if they saw how easily he melted under Kokomi's touch.
"No."
The fingers stopped moving but he didn't speak.
"Kusuo, why are you having migraines now then?"
"Because God likes to play practical jokes on me." He grumbled.
"I don't believe that answer."
It's the truth.
"My brother suspects I've had them my whole life."
"Then why are they only just now becoming a problem."
He didn't respond.
"Is it because you destroyed part of your brain?" Kokomi gasped. "That would make sense! Since you destroyed the pathways, new ones had to be made. Whatever pathway that was suppressing your migraines probably became collateral damage."
It was irritating at times how smart she was, but he wouldn't have fallen in love with her otherwise.
"Am I right?"
He chuckled. "Can I convince you that you're wrong?"
"No, probably not."
Sounds like an answer to me.
She hit his chest and he frowned.
"They're much worse than you let us all believe, aren't they?"
He groaned internally.
Good grief. Here comes the part I was trying to avoid.
"Aren't you the one always telling me that I can be open and honest with you?"
He'd already called himself a hypocrite.
"But I already knew you had migraines. You got out of something we were doing in home economics class because you couldn't see straight."
That was an annoying day.
"So why didn't you want to tell me how much worse they were?"
Probably because everyone kept looking at me that day with varying levels of concern and pity to the point that it pissed me off.
She removed her arm and got off of him. He reached out with his other senses to see if she was leaving.
He felt her sitting next to him now and when he reached out the smallest bit with his hand, he didn't find her arm.
She's glaring at me then.
His eyebrow twitched.
"You don't get to be irritated."
He sighed and then rubbed his hand over his face as his whole body suddenly felt cold. He had to resist the urge to shiver.
"I'm not irritated." He tried softly.
"You are, because you hate being seen. That's why you didn't want to tell me, right? Because you didn't want pity or concern?"
I need to get a new poker face.
"Are you serious, Kusuo?"
The tone of voice almost had him opening his eyes automatically. He reached out for his glasses instead to put them on, but Kokomi snatched them out of his hands.
"I need those."
"No."
He clenched his jaw, but was quick to unclench it when fireworks of pain lit up his brain. He let out a hiss of an exhale.
Kokomi made no response.
He dragged his hands in his hair and then got up on his elbows, ignoring the way his center of gravity was horribly titled until he was sitting up.
He leaned forward until he found her shoulder.
"It's childish to take away someone's vision."
"And it's a shitty thing not to tell your girlfriend that your migraines are horrible."
There was a pause.
"I get you not wanting to deal with the pity and concern because you're allergic to emotion, but what the hell? You're my boyfriend and I love you. I love you and I'm allowed to be concerned and sad. I'm also allowed to be angry on your behalf and want to help this not be so bad. You were literally swaying on your feet when you greeted me at the door, your hair was a mess, you looked feverish and even before you took off your glasses, you were holding your eyes closed for longer. Even now I can hear you're breathing differently to manage the pain."
Was he?
She pinched his arm and the sharp tingling helped disburse the growing brain fog.
"Not to mention how insulted I am."
He blinked, but then closed his eyes again. "I thought about telling you--"
"But you just assumed I would baby you and ignore your wishes not to make it a big deal, right?"
"That's not true."
"Really?" The skepticism dripping from her tone was enough to rival him on a good day.
He finally made a grab for his glasses and managed to get them out of her hand. She grumbled, but he slipped them on.
Lifting his head from her shoulder, he let it fall to her forehead.
"My brother is scared. That doesn't happen. I didn't tell you because this wasn't supposed to still be going on. It's been 6 months and he still doesn't know how to fix this. And I don't have any ideas either."
God he was tired.
"You're . . . scared?"
He clenched his fist.
"You're scared." She breathed out.
"I'm tired."
Kokomi stared at him.
He listened to her breathing and focused as stars lit up behind his eyelids.
"This happens to a lot of people."
The acknowledgement irked him more than he wanted to admit.
"They can be a precursor to larger things, but it really might just be migraines being migraines."
He wants to be annoying and say something snarky that he doesn't mean, but the exhaustion is weighing on his bones and he had been looking forward to seeing her— as much as he can admit to himself anyway— so he doesn't say anything and just falls back down onto his pillows.
"You're a hypocrite you know."
"You've mentioned."
He can imagine her crossing her arms.
"You always claim that you want to be normal and then you finally have to deal with something like a normal person and you get irritated and scared."
He wanted to roll under the bed and stick his head in the sand. He didn't have the emotional bandwidth for this conversation at the moment.
"And on top of everything else, you let your brother convince you that this could be cured."
"It should be able to be."
"And one day it will be I'm sure. Your brother will probably end up being one of the world's specialists on the matter and he'll become even more insufferable, but progress takes time. Especially in the medical field."
He doesn't respond to that.
Kokomi shifts on the bed and takes his glasses off.
His eyes were closed anyway, but he still frowns.
"My point is, everything you're feeling is what you're supposed to be. You're getting a normal human experience and it's terrible."
"You're smiling at my misery."
She giggles and then he feels a kiss on the underside of his chin. "No, I'm smiling at how horribly equipped you are at handling things without your powers."
"That's arguably worse."
"Just be quiet. Sleep. I'll lay with you."
"You don't have to."
He feels her shift again and she kisses his forehead. Even through the migraine he can feel himself blush.
"I would flick you for suggesting that I would do something I don't want to, but seeing as I'm an amazing girlfriend and you're in pain, I'm going to shower you with kisses instead."
"That's uncalled for and unnecessary."
"Too bad!"
He wants to shy away from the gentle kisses and her cool hands, but the sensations are bliss compared to the migraine.
Though he can only handle so much affection, so after a while, he grabs her hands and guides her back down to lay on the pillow next to him.
"Who said I was done?"
He wants to look at her, but just lets his face go flat instead.
"I suppose I'll let you off the hook for now."
"So gracious."
"I know!" Her warmth shifts to lay on top of his chest and he focuses on her breathing. "You know, apparently surges in happy chemicals--"
"I'll keep the migraines."
"I didn't even finish!"
"My brother already recommended it and I'm still not interested in sex."
There's a beat. Then two.
When the silence lasts for a third beat he slips on his glasses and he's surprised to see embarrassment on her face tinged with. . . Anger? No.
Oh. I was way off base.
"I was going to say you could eat coffee jelly!"
She's holding her breath so she doesn't raise her voice. Wait.
"This feels like a bribe."
"Fine. I won't make you homemade coffee jelly then."
"I immediately take it back."
"No. You thought I was going to say sex."
"Would you believe me if I said I really wasn't thinking?"
"Go to sleep, Kusuo."
"That's a no on the coffee jelly?"
She flops her pillow onto his face.
That answers that.
-
It's a month later when he gets another migraine. It starts before he gets to school and he has to leave by lunch.
It's one of the bad ones. He can tell by the way he can't find his center of gravity and the nausea.
Falling onto his bed feels like he's falling forever and he can't tell how much time has passed, but when he wakes up a cold cloth is on his head and Kokomi is reading in his chair.
She doesn't speak as she notices his cognizant state, only slipping onto the floor and crawling near silently over to him.
He watches her through half lidded eyes until she turns off his reading light.
He hears the soft crinkling of a bag and then feels fingers on his stomach. She tugs on his shirt just slightly to encourage him to sit up and he does so as slowly as possible to avoid another wave of vertigo.
Memories of his mom helping him sit up so he could drink water and eat porridge over the course of the last few hours slip into his mind like syrup once he's finally all the way up.
Kokomi hands him a spoon and he looks at her in the dark.
She stumbles a little as she climbs into bed next to him, but otherwise she barely makes any sound.
The first bite of coffee jelly does release endorphins and leaning on his girlfriend's shoulder keeps a steady stream even when the treat is gone.
"I'm sorry you get migraines." She whispers after what might be minutes or hours.
"I'm sorry your periods are terrible."
She squeezes his hand.
"We're the height of human evolution."
"I'd rather all humans evolve to be Nendou."
She laughs and it's a little too loud and it shakes him a little too much, but the brain fog is subsiding and the vertigo has lessened, so, overall, he's alright.