Chapter Text
When Getting A Call From A Kidnapper,
Bruce will be exhausted when he picks up the phone.
Dick will freak out.
Jason won’t care.
Damian won’t care.
Tim won’t care… or he’ll use the kidnapping to his advantage.
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Kidnapper: I have your son!
Bruce Wayne: *deep sigh* Which one?
Kidnapper: which…? Uh… black hair, blue eyes-
Bruce: *tired sigh* You’ll have to be more specific.
Kidnapper: Pissed off, super snarky-
Bruce: more specific.
Kidnapper: more??
Bruce: more.
—
Kidnapper: I have your son!
Didk: I don’t have a son…? Unless you took the sun out of the sky?
Kidnapper: I meant your brother. I have your brother.
*silence*
Kidnapper: hello?
Dick: OH NO
Dick: OHNONONONONONO
Dick: WHICH ONE?!
Kidnapper: it doesn’t matter which one. You have 24 hours to-
DICK: I’LL BE THERE IN FIVE
Kidnapper: …what??
*Phone hangs up.*
—
Kidnapper: I have your brother.
Jason: cool. Tell him I said hi.
*Jason hangs up*
Kidnapper: …
Kidnapper: uhm… he said hi?
Dick: oh, sweet. Please tell me you said I said hi back :)
Kidnapper: ?
*door gets kicked down*
Kidnapper: oh shit
—
Kidnapper: I have your brother
Damian: Apologies. I don’t accept returns.
*Damian hangs up*
Kidnapper: ???
—
Kidnapper: we have your brother!
Tim: which one
Kidnapper: does it matter??
Tim: Yes.
Kidnapper: what’s your name?
Jason: Jason.
Kidnapper: we have Jason.
Tim: cool. You can keep him.
Tim: and be careful. He’ll probably try to kill you.
Kidnapper: I-
*Tim hangs up*
Jason in the background: TIM YOU LITTLE SHIT