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This was the worst birthday ever.
The last few minutes where really tiresome
I have a lot on my mind after that... ride.
It was still rattling around in my head, stripping away the comfort of everything I thought I knew about being a host.
And that... Lucas...
The name feels heavy and it was scratching at the back of my mind for a while.
I decided to take a walk, away from everyone else to clear my head.
I just needed the noise to stop.
At the same time I'm both confused and scared over what just happened.
I look up at the sky, but the sky isn't right anymore.
Nothing feels right at this moment.
It felt like my surroundings were getting weaker by the second.
2 hours left...
My heart is racing and my mind was full of questions.
I'm so tired and my exhaustion even starts to feel physical.
As if a heavy fog has been settling over my thoughts.
I see a lake in front of me and I decide to hang out here.
It feels safe here.
I'm used to being alone when I'm not hosting for a few minutes.
Usually before every hour starts I sit down by myself and rest, occationally taking a nap.
I guess I like when everything is quiet.
Silence is like luxury to me.
No contestant around to tell me about challanges and other stuff.
Hearing my thoughts puts me at ease, and this lake seems to help pretty much.
I look at my reflection and see myself in it...
Or at least... I think it's myself?
I honestly don't know anymore.
It just... feels like I'm not the same person...
It's like I've been taken away from who I really was.
What was it about having a mundane and uneventful life?
I was... confused to say the least.
The ride showed me someone who thought it was me, and it was hard for me to believe it.
I still think about those words...
"Wasn't it wonderful, Lucas? Your time is almost up. Get ready for the reset."
I don't know what to say about this.
But I gotta find a small distraction.
I force myself to look away from the water.
I look around and notice I sat in the middle of a flower circle.
Those flowers remind me of the ones that Vase had.
Those same white petals move with the wind's direction.
It reminds me of a time where everything was much easier to manage.
They look nice...
I take a glance at the lake again, realising the water stayed more still then the last time I looked at it.
The waves that distorted my image just a moment ago have completely smoothed out.
I can clearly see my face now.
Even if I don't have all day to stay in this spot, I feel much calmer knowing I'm still me.
I close my eyes and I start seeing pitched black.
It's been quite a while since I had them shut.
I DO sleep sometimes but I really wanted the show to keep going.
I guess I was too anxious to ever really let my guard down before.
I can hear the calming wind brushing across the surface of the lake.
The grass was moving, with a soft rustling against my body that acts like a anchor.
I take a deep breath... as the cool air fills my lungs.
And exhaled slowly... letting the tension drop out of my shoulders.
Everything is oddly quiet.
My thoughts were finally silent.
I cross my legs and put my hands on each side, settling deeply into the ground.
I took a nap before all this but it didn't help how sad I was that I forgot my own birthday.
My eyes were still dry from my crying.
It makes me think of how much I had to let go to continue my show.
At least the contestants brought me gifts.
Even if they were unexpected.
But nonetheless... none of that matters out here by the water.
I think I'm much happier in my own mind.
There's nobody here to interrupt.
Nobody to question my challenges.
Nobody to remind me of anything.
Nobody to talk to.
Just me...
Alone...
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I open my eyes.
I don't hear any wind anymore.
What happened?
I'm in a room...?
All the flowers around me have turned into flameless candles.
And in front of me is a mirror.
...
Is that me?
I look like the mysterious clock from my ride...
How am I even here?
I get up and notice the room is filled with cozy stuff and relaxation tools.
I open the only door this room had and explored the... house? Apartment?
Whatever...
It seems like a standard home.
I noticed that the kitchen had popcorn ready to go.
Hmm...
I go to a room with a couch.
In front of it was a television.
And to my surprise...
It had a cracked clock shaped hole on it...
I get close to it and decide to inspect.
The TV started to slowly glow white.
Before I could do something a hand reached from the television and-
BANG
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thud
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