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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-05-16
Updated:
2026-05-25
Words:
4,359
Chapters:
5/7
Comments:
296
Kudos:
1,185
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369
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15,560

When everybody loses their minds, our job here is done

Summary:

The sports world is baffled when Ilya Rozanov doesn't renew his contract with Boston and isn't in any hurry to sign with a new team. It descends into pure chaos when shortly thereafter, Montreal's captain Shane Hollander announces his early retirement. As does Ilya Rozoanov. On the same day. That the rivals are getting married is the last straw to a collective psychosis that reaches all parts of society.
Or:
The Tuna Melt Incident went differently. They chose each other. An exit strategy was formulated. The plan: Happily Ever After starts at 27.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Step 1: The First Strike

Notes:

Is this extremely OOC for Shane? Yes. Do I say: Throw your career away for a lover? No. Maybe except if you are both multi-millionaires who risk their necks in their jobs and just wanna be happy. Here's a story of two boys in love who don't wanna wait anymore.

Use the Creator's Work Skin!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Ilya Rozanov 212.813 likes
Ilya Rozanov Hi everybody. I know this will come as a surprise to most of you. But I have decided to leave Boston and will not renew my contract this summer. The Raiders and the fans have given me a home when I needed one and I will forever be grateful. Please know that it is my decision alone, management has been very generous. I truly appreciate it. But it is time for me to move onto the next chapter. I love you. #IlyaOUT #BostonRaiders #thanku View all 5.128 comments July 1, 2018

 

ESPN Breaking News:

In a shocking turn of events, Boston Raider's captain llya Rozanov has announced that he won't renew his contract with the club who drafted him nine years ago. Insiders report that the club upped the offer several times. There are rumours of a record-breaking deal that would have made the Russian the most valuable player in the history of the NHL. But after much speculation when the announcement of a contract renewal didn't materialize as expected, Rozanov has just announced via his Instagram that he will leave Boston. His management has confirmed the story.

Now the real mystery is: Where will Rozanov go? It is extremely unusual that with a player of his calibre there is absolutely no real evidence or even some rumours of where he might go. There is no doubt: Clubs will now scramble to make an offer. But looking at the insane salary and incentives that Boston has supposedly offered its captain, the question remains: What does Ilya Rozanov want and who can give it to him?

 

@Raidingrozanov81: 
I cannot believe it, this is the worst day ever 💔💔

@ilyassweatyunderarmour:
What do you mean, he is leaving? Where, how, what? I am almost too stunned to be sad or angry. What is happening 😭😭😭😭

@iceicebaby:
Perhaps he is ill and doesn't want anybody to know? Somehow he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who always used protection, if you know what I mean. 

@rozzybabushka:
Everybody knows what you mean, unfortunately 😐

@thebigapplejuice:
Maybe he is finally following his heart and is coming to NYC 🍎 #Huntanov

@MinYoongiMarryMe:
You know what, sure 😂 Let's ignore all logic 😎 Because clearly making sense is overrated these days 😇

@MetroCard:
You know who hasn't said anything publicly? Hollander. Isn't that suspicious? 

@bekindrewind:
Please tell me Rozanov isn't coming to Montreal.

@Hollanova95:
YESSS #Hollanov

@hockeyhockeyhockey:
Sorry to disappoint, but the Metros just posted a statement wishing Rozanov "all the best for his future endeavours". That were their exact words. Doesn't sound like the club that secretly has landed the coup of the century. 

@MarkCarney24:
Doesn't sound like anything, to be frank. 

@Raidingrozanov81:
Guys, what is going on 😱😱

Notes:

This idea had popped up in my brain quite some time ago, before I have read a few wonderful fics with a similar premise. I decided to post it anyway but to challenge myself a bit and try my hand at using a work skin and HTML for the first time like this. I am exhausted :) Hopefully it looks okay. I used instructions from user gadaursan.

Update:
I heard that some work skins might interfer with the social media posts and make the font really light so it is hard to read. I will include the text from the post in the end notes, might be too much to put it in the main body of the fic. Please let me know if you have this problem as well.
Ilya's IG Post:
"Hi everybody. I know this will come as a surprise to most of you. But I have decided to leave Boston and will not renew my contract this summer. The Raiders and the fans have given me a home when I needed one and I will forever be grateful. Please know that it is my decision alone, management has been very generous. I truly appreciate it. But it is time for me to move onto the next chapter. I love you."