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“I'm not doing that.”
Captain J'onzz pinched the bridge of his nose. “This could bring in a few thousand dollars, Lieutenant, is there a reason you're not interested?”
Kara nudged her shoulder gently. “It'd be fun, Sam. Slack off for a day, mess around, get nice photos of our abs for our girlfriends to ogle…”
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, but eventually she nodded. “Okay. Alright, yeah, I'll do it.” She gave a small smile.
A few weeks later saw her, Kara and the rest of the firehouse at the annual barbecue fundraiser. The station was alive with activity, some firefighters in shorts washing cars, some posing for their photography, others playing various games with the kids. Kara and Sam, however, stood over the barbecue, shirts hanging open to reveal their sports bras and shorts beneath, Sam's sunglasses perched on her nose and Kara's baseball cap sat atop her head. They worked with an absentminded focus at the food slowly cooking through, laughing back and forth over various jokes.
“Madre mía. Who allowed them to look like that?” Andrea mumbled, her eyes laser-focused on Sam from her spot beside Lena in their shamelessly stolen deck chairs, bringing her beer to her lips.
“You could bounce a quarter off of those.” Lena mumbled, raising her Guinness, her own eyes locked on where Kara's adonis belt disappeared beneath her shorts. “Bloody outrageous.”
Andrea snorted, but wasn't about to argue with the truth. “Do we actually know what they're doing here besides being generally catastrophic for our self-restraint? There's a lot going on for me to comprehend.”
“You mean Sam's abs are so frequent you can't focus on anything else.” Lena shot back at her, but eventually elaborated. “The general consensus is to abuse the public's horniness to get dollars in buckets - car wash, grill, community outreach, photoshoot for the sexy calendar-”
“The what??!” She cut off, her eyes snapping to her friend's. “There’s a sexy calendar?”
Lena pinched the bridge of her nose. “They're firefighters, Andrea, there's always a fucking calendar. It's one of the best moneymakers the department has.”
She grumbled unintelligibly, but brought the bottle back up to her lips. “Then they're about to get a very generous donation.”
A short brunette approached the barbecue, a woman Andrea recognised as a parent to one of Ruby’s friends, and she forced herself to take a deep drag of her beer and ignore the possessive rage burning in her abdomen as she laid a hand on Sam’s bicep.
She needn’t have worried - it wasn’t there for longer than a second before Sam was finding a way to shrug her off with subtle help from Kara, but it was Lena’s words that snapped her out of her stupor. “Prince Charming approaches.”
She snapped her gaze away from the retreating woman and back to the hot coals and the hotter firefighters as Sam and Kara left the barbecue with J'onn and made their way over, matching grins on their faces, before Sam dropped into her lap, the flame of rage flickering out and dying immediately - Sam only had eyes for her, even if her mind liked to play tricks. She gave her a soft, whipped smile. “Hi, handsome.” She mumbled, and wrapped both arms around Sam's waist, splaying her fingers over those perfect ridges of muscle. “Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? The big strong firefighter carries the damsel?”
She made absolutely no move to let Sam go, however, as the taller brunette threw her head back in a laugh, settling fully into her side, and Andrea allowed herself to relax, too. Sam was all hers.
2 weeks later, the calendars were announced for pre-order.
Less than 2 minutes later, Andrea Rojas paused a board meeting to take a call from one Lena Luthor.
“They're sold out.” Lena muttered, slightly miffed. “Literally every single one is gone. It hasn't even been 5 minutes.”
She said nothing, letting Lena work through her misery until her silence caught up to her.
“What did you do, Andi?”
She jolted, snapping back to attention. “What?”
Lena's smirk through the phone was immediate. “What did you do? To the calendar sales?”
“I went shopping.” Confidence was key, right?
“In 2 minutes?”
“...an algorithm went shopping for me.”
Lena groaned. “How many did you buy?”
“Yes.”
The immediate reply appeared to be unsurprising to the other brunette. “Andrea, you bought out the women's calendar and the mixed gendered calendar.”
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her own nose. “You can have one. I didn't know there was more than just a mixed-gender one. It's outrageous.”
Lena sounded triumphant as she thanked her, and hung up, leaving Andrea alone in her office once more.
2 weeks later, Sam strolled into their front door and froze, staring at Andrea standing behind a huge box. “We don't need a new fridge, mi amor.” she snorted softly, approaching and pressing a soft kiss to her lips before pulling away, moving to settle against her back, her palms slipping beneath Andrea's shirt to stroke her abdomen, feeling the shiver down her spine before she settled with her nose in her neck. “What is that?”
Silence.
“Andi?”
“Dame un segundo, I’m trying to come up with a believable lie.”
Sam snorted. “No lies. What's in the box?”
She sighed. “Would you believe me if I told you it was a new project for Obsidian?”
“No.”
“A new frying pan set for Kara?”
“No.”
“...New strap on?”
“It's not big enough.”
She smacked her for that, both of them falling into a fit of giggles before she settled. “Fine. It's, uh… it's some new calendars.”
“...Plural?”
“Plural. It'll be fun, you know, we can hang them around the house and just… never invite people over again.”
Sam stared at her incredulously. “What did you do?”
Andrea spun to face her defensively. “Nothing! Nothing is wrong here, really, the box isn't that big of a deal-”
Sam had already darted past her, sneaking the box cutter from her pocket, and was sliding the blade through the tape to rip the cardboard open, before she froze.
Andrea's rambling was immediate. “Hot women! You! They called you hot women! People spending money! On hot women! That happens to also be you!” She facepalmed, taking a second to regain her composure. “¡Por Dios! I don't want my half-naked girlfriend hanging in someone's house. She's for me.”
Sam was staring at her with an unreadable expression, and she opened her mouth to start up her rambles once again before that cocksure smirk slid into place on the taller brunette's face.
Sam rose gracefully from the ground, stalking towards her as she backed up in turn, matching each of Sam’s movements with her own step backwards.
“Baby…”
“Andrea.” The taller brunette replied, and continued her advance until Andrea's back hit the kitchen counter, when strong hands met her waist and lifted her cleanly onto it, her firefighter stepping easily between her thighs before placing her hands on the counter either side of her, bracketing her in place.
“Mi vida. Did you buy out all of these calendars because you were jealous of mysterious wine moms, women, enbys and men you will never meet?”
“I just-”
Sam tutted, cutting her off. “Justifications are not what I asked for. Yes or no?”
The CEO sighed and hung her head. “Yes.”
Fingers tucked under her chin, glacial blue eyes brought gently up to meet hazel. “You-” she planted a gentle kiss on Andrea’s nose. “-are the cutest person ever. Seriously, you need a licence to be that cute, and you don't have one. They should arrest you. Air jail.”
Andrea caught the reference a second too late, and she squealed in surprise as she was hoisted over Sam's shoulder. She wriggled a little, but eventually settled comfortably in her girlfriend's hold. “¡Soltame, la puta madre!”
Her firefighter’s laugh engulfed her as she was carried off in the direction of their bedroom, finding herself giggling the entire way.
Her back met the mattress, bouncing once, before Sam was there, too, crawling up to settle over her, and bringing her lips back down to meet the shorter brunette's own.
“Te amo.” She mumbled, and all Andrea could do was smile and kiss her again.
Later that evening, Lena flopped down on the couch, and groaned when there was a knock immediately afterwards.
She shoved herself upright and stalked over to the door, pulling it open.
Andrea held up a bottle of Macallan in one hand and a wrapped package in the other. “Sam's parking the car, she has ice cream.”
Lena grinned, letting her in, and took the package off of her. “Can I open this now?”
Andrea nodded, waving her off as she beelined for the kitchen and Lena's glasses, pulling 4 and pouring the scotch liberally.
Lena peeled the wrapping away as Kara came to settle behind her, hooking her chin over her shoulder and pressing a gentle, affectioinate kiss to the side of her neck before settling in to watch. The firefighter calendar she had been promised. She flipped open the first page and snorted - over Sam's photographed frame was a custom-made sticker, a badly drawn T-shirt with a middle finger front and centre. “Best. Gift. Ever.” She grinned, forcing down the giddy excitement at the silliness of her friend and… okay, Kara's… Kara-ness where she stood beside Sam wasn't something she was immune to, not even close, as she wandered into the kitchen and hung it carefully on the fridge. “It's perfect, thank you.”
“I did say you could have one.”
“That you did.”
They were serious for around two seconds before they dissolved into helpless laughter.