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Even after all these years, You Huo's biological clock still wakes him up at the crack of dawn.
Thin eyelids twitching in his subconsciousness, You Huo muffles a sleepy groan in his throat and turns his body to the side in an attempt to find a more comfier spot on his pillow for his head, yet what he finds is not its smooth plush—he meets a small bundle of warmth with a slightly twitching fluff instead.
You Huo creaks his eyes open.
Turns out his face is now pressed directly against one of Qin Xiao’s tiger ears.
You Huo shuts his eyes again and shifts closer to his son, his nose against Qin Xiao's fair cheek, taking in his cool, milky scent that he can always associate with the safe walls of their home. Added with the heap of fluffy blankets around them and the low drone of the heater that chases away winter morning’s gnawing chill, You Huo becomes even more reluctant to leave the nest.
But unfortunately, just as his body always wakes him up on time, his stomach is no less punctual when it comes to his meals.
You Huo’s empty stomach rumbles, the sound glaringly loud in the quiet of the bedroom that even Qin Xiao scrunches his nose in his sleep. In the next second, a bushy tail of orange and black stripes slithers over from Qin Xiao’s other side to entangle with You Huo's own, lightly tugging it in lieu of a question.
In this house, You Huo isn't the only one with a rigid biological clock. His mate has one, too.
“Morning, my dear Big Invigilator," comes Qin Jiu's voice, scratched low by morning’s drowsiness. "Hungry already?”
You Huo hums, still with his eyes closed.
“It’s time for breakfast, then." Qin Jiu’s figure rises to sit on the bed, the blanket slipping from his broad shoulders. When he yawns, his jaws open wide, showing off a row of teeth sharpened by the manifestation of his tiger features. However, all signs of danger seem to disappear from his person entirely when he leans down to scent his husband and their son.
Tigers mark their territory in many ways, one of them is by rubbing their cheek against their possessions until their scent lingers, so You Huo reciprocates Qin Jiu's affection by peppering kisses on the other person’s cheek, a low purr of joy building up in his throat, taking in Qin Jiu's content expression like it's the water that quenches his longing for love.
Yet when Qin Jiu turns to rub his cheek against Qin Xiao's unkempt bedhead, the cub reciprocates by smacking his dad right on the face with his snow-white tail.
It's more of a reflex than a conscious action, something Qin Xiao undoubtedly inherits from his parents. Qin Jiu struggles to bottle his laughter while You Huo huffs in amusement, prying Qin Xiao’s tail off Qin Jiu's grin and tucking it back into the blanket.
The tail refuses to, opting to circle You Huo’s wrist in a loose, ticklish coil instead.
It's no secret that Qin Xiao inherits Qin Jiu's clinginess as well. You Huo lets the tail be, using his other hand to gingerly ruffle Qin Xiao’s hair. "That's on you. You know he doesn't like someone bothering his sleep.”
“Yes, yes, I've realized my mistakes." Qin Jiu chuckles, adoration causing evident crow’s feet to dig into the corners of his eyes. Around You Huo's wrist, their son’s tail looks like a necklace woven from snowflakes, and Qin Jiu eyes it with unbridled fondness. “Go back to sleep a little longer, my dear. I'll call you after the breakfast is done, alright?”
"Mm.” You Huo leans forward to deliver another kiss, this time on the slightly pinkish tip of Qin Jiu's nose. "I'll leave the kitchen to you.”
Outside the bedroom, Qin Jiu rolls up the sleeves of his pajamas as he pads to the kitchen, his large tail of orange fluff swaying idly across the ceramic flooring.
Inside the bedroom, You Huo finally manages to loosen Qin Xiao’s tail from his wrist and readjusts their positions so that Qin Xiao’s face is snug against the slope of his shoulder, close to the scent gland on You Huo's nape.
Recognising his father's scent, mingled with tendrils of his dad’s own, the white tiger cub curls a smile and whispers a happy purr—an expression so utterly adorable that You Huo understands why Chu Yue is never able to hold herself back from smothering Qin Xiao with hugs whenever she meets him.
“We still have around thirty minutes until your father finishes cooking breakfast,” You Huo murmurs into the crown of Qin Xiao’s dark brown hair, “so you don't have to worry about having your sweet dreams cut.”
"Sleep well, Xiao’er.”
It was not a decision made lightly.
Once Qin Jiu and You Huo agreed that they were going to have a cub, they made rigorous preparations for over a year. Qin Jiu stepped down from his commander rank in the S Brigade and joined You Huo in the headquarters as an instructor. They moved out from their apartment and bought a small house still around the area, just right for a family of three. They had 154 accompanying them on You Huo's phone every time they scheduled a check up with the doctor so that they wouldn't miss a single data of the individual named You Huo, no matter the period of his life.
After all, it was You Huo who was going to conceive the cub. With their track records of horrendous luck, it was inevitable that Qin Jiu became incredibly meticulous.
“Are you sure, my dear?"
—was a question that sat so often on Qin Jiu's tongue ever since they made this decision. Qin Jiu was a man alien with hesitation, as if dread only existed when his prey was caught between his fangs, but were a human's heart not made of flesh? Were it not allowed the fear that came hand-in-hand with love?
It was only before his alpha that Qin Jiu willed to bare open the malleable flesh of his heart across his calloused paws.
It asked: Are you sure, my dear?
It asked: Big Invigilator, have you thought about it over and over?
It asked: My beloved, are you truly willing?
But just as this wasn't a decision made lightly, You Huo also gave him an answer that wasn't thought carelessly.
He said: I'm sure.
He said: I have.
He said: I am.
Qin Jiu, my Qin Jiu, said You Huo’s kisses to Qin Jiu's awaiting lips, their tails tying the knot behind their backs, no less intimate than the wedding bands around their ring fingers.
With you, I have nothing to fear.
Qin Xiao is loud in everything but words.
Perhaps it's because of the tacit understanding his parents have shared for years, but one look into Qin Xiao's wide, translucent golden eyes is more than enough to tell Qin Jiu and You Huo what he wants. To catalogue his likes and dislikes, too, his parents only need a glance at the reactions of his ears and tail, and everything will become clear as day.
Young cubs like Qin Xiao have yet to be able to consciously control their animal features. This is because cubs, just as any other alpha and omega children, see their home and their parents as their absolute safety, so the easiest indication to tell whether the child grows in a healthy household or not is by looking if they have their animal features out within the proximity of their parents.
As far as memories serve, You Huo’s ears and tail stopped appearing before his mother when he was four years old, yet never once she bothered to address this issue.
As far as records keep, Qin Jiu stopped showing his ears and tail when he woke up in the hospital after the car accident. He was only two years old at that time.
One didn’t receive the love his parents were supposed to provide and one had his destroyed in the merciless fire and debris. It's exactly this desolate childhood of theirs that makes Qin Jiu and You Huo appreciate every gesture of their cub’s animal features.
A relaxed Qin Xiao is a Qin Xiao with upright ears and a loosely hanging tail.
A displeased Qin Xiao is a Qin Xiao with lowered ears and a constantly thumping tail.
An excited Qin Xiao is a Qin Xiao with flicking ears and his tail held up high.
A sleepy Qin Xiao is a Qin Xiao with his tail hugged to his chest as if his personal bolster.
That last one is such a sweet, adorable sight that even You Huo can't help but take several photos of it into his phone. On the other hand, there's a bookshelf in the living room dedicated to Qin Xiao’s photo albums, courtesy of Qin Jiu and his high-definition camera that has earned Wen Yuan’s seal of approval, which is just a fancier way to say that the camera is up to date with recent military standards.
Each album is labelled with numbers on its spine to signify Qin Xiao’s growth every year. The first page of the “0” album has a photo of Qin Xiao’s birth certificate and the main character of the album himself, swaddled in a baby-blue cloth, cradled ever so carefully in You Huo’s arms, while the latest page of the “4” album has a photo of Qin Xiao perched on Qin Jiu’s shoulders as they traversed the park last week when the snow had yet to pile up.
Soon, when the winter melts into a warmer dawn and frozen flowers bloom anew, it’ll be time for them to acquire the fifth album and fulfill it with more photos, more memories.
You Huo really looks forward to it.
It's in the middle of this musing that Qin Xiao finds his father standing in front of the shelf, gazing into the albums with half-lowered eyelids, the enthusiasm in his eyes only noticeable to the keen vision of his husband and the sensitive senses of his child.
“Father?" Qin Xiao pads to his side. Instinctively, his snow-white tail nudges his father's longer, larger own, and You Huo accepts his unvoiced request to loosely wrap their tails together. "What are those books?”
“They’re your albums," You Huo says, his voice a melodious mix between human speech and a serene rumble. “Every time we celebrate your birthday, your dad will put your photos in a new album, then he'll fill it with more photos until it's time for your next birthday again."
Golden eyes lighting up, Qin Xiao turns to his father with a smile and extends both arms up wordlessly. After confirming that Qin Xiao's tail has already slid off from his own, You Huo smoothly hauls his son up to his chest as if he weighs no more than a feather.
"Which album Xiao’er wants to see first?”
"All of them!"
“Of course."
Qin Xiao is loud in everything but words, yes, but in the moments where he becomes vocal in expressing his wishes, You Huo will always be ready at his beck and call.
He and Qin Jiu will always be.
That way, Qin Xiao would never have to know the bitter ache of an undefined love, of a deceased love.
It wasn't impossible for an alpha to conceive.
Both alphas and omegas could get pregnant, but for male alphas, it was a feat easier in theory than in practice.
To impregnate a male alpha, his partner must also be an alpha with an equal or higher pheromone level. By doing continuous pheromone injection through a bite on the male alpha’s scent gland and keeping their seed inside during their rut phase, it rapidly increased the probability for the seed to take, but the numbers were still too low compared to the chances of a regular beta getting pregnant.
As a mated pair, Qin Jiu and You’s rut phases were in sync with each other, but it still took them four ruts back to back before You Huo was tested positive for pregnancy.
Finally, his nape was granted a rest from Qin Jiu's persistent fangs.
In return, teeth white and blood red were replaced by careful presses of damp lips, cleaning any trace of pain, nursing the scarred column where Qin Jiu's bond bite rested. This was how besotted predators expressed their love best—savage, stubborn, unyielding and unwavering, but in the end, it was warmth that pooled in their stomach and affection that softened the jagged ends of their nest.
That night, they made love once again.
Unlike before, it was slow. Unhurried.
Gentle.
Gentle was the hand that cradled Qin Jiu's cheek so that You Huo could land a kiss on his lips. Gentle was the languid roll of hips that Qin Jiu maintained in order to not overwhelm You Huo. Gentle was the hazy eyes of gold and the adoring eyes of black that were set aglow under the layer of passion.
It wasn't a pair of predators’ ferocious mating.
It was a pair of lovers’ tender embrace instead.
One of the advantages of having your own backyard in your house is that you can do whatever you want in it without having an unknown party intruding on your space—this is exactly one of Qin Jiu and You Huo's considerations when they searched for houses back then.
Before the window facing the backyard, two round, fluffy ears pop into view, quickly followed by a cub’s beaming face where a pair of sparkling golden eyes sit. His tail standing in attention, Qin Xiao looks in awe at the expanse of white that encompasses the world outside—snow replacing leaves, snow building taller fences, snow blanketing the grasses. It’s a tranquil winter playground brought to reality, a wonderland entirely of their own.
“I see that the blizzard finally stops this morning.” Qin Jiu, who kneels down next to his son, hums. “Little Big Invigilator, shall we have some fun outside?”
Qin Xiao nods vigorously as if he’s pounding an onion.
Qin Jiu lovingly ruffles his son’s dark brown hair, so identical to his own, and indulges himself with a brief pinch on that chubby cheek. “Go inform your father first, my little one. Make sure you’re all bundled up, only then we’re set to go.”
A change of clothes later, this family of three tigers step into the peaceful drop of their snow-piled backyard. Qin Xiao may have the lower half of his face buried into the collar of his wool-padded jacket, but it does nothing to dampen the eager stars in his eyes. After all, this is the first time he experiences a winter he can actively play in.
In his photo albums, the past Qin Xiao from one year old to three years old could only enjoy the falling snow from within his parents’ warm, protective embrace. Now, they finally allow him to run free!
(Within the boundary of the backyard, of course)
“The temperature is pretty mild this morning. It’s just right for Xiao’er to play for about half an hour,” You Huo says to Qin Jiu, only to find that his husband has assumed the stance of a professional fashion magazine photographer, snapping pictures of Qin Xiao rolling snows into misshapen snowballs with, what, a speed of six clicks per second?
Just because the commander rank no longer belongs to him, that doesn’t mean Qin Jiu has been reduced to a dull blade. If anything, a tiger parent’s claws are one of the sharpest out there, meant to attack, protect, and love at the same time.
You Huo huffs an amused chuckle. “Instructor Qin, how are the pictures?”
“Answering Chief Instructor You, they’re immaculately cute, just as our sweet cub always is.” Qin Jiu makes a loud chuff of pride before he sets the camera aside and joins their son on the snow. “Little Big Invigilator, let’s have a snowball fight!”
You Huo contemplates for several seconds before he picks up the camera and takes a picture in the exact moment when Qin Xiao’s thrown snowball lands square on Qin Jiu’s face (a deliberate outcome on Qin Jiu’s part, no doubt).
Inspecting this picture and the numerous ones Qin Jiu takes before, You Huo smiles.
Immaculately cute, indeed.
Later, with the help of his parents, Qin Xiao manages to build three snowmen. With hands encased in thick mittens on his hips, he proudly introduces them to Qin Jiu and You Huo. At first glance, the only difference between them is their size: two snowmen are twice the size of the one in the middle, but if you look a bit more carefully, you’ll find that there are some distinguishing features between these snowmen.
The one on the left has its crooked grin drawn with pebbles, while the one on the right has its stern eyebrows marked by twigs. The one on the left has its hair presented by damp, almost brown blades of grass Qin Xiao digs up from beneath the snow, while the one on the right has its hair made of scattered pebbles in a shade close to black.
“This one is Dad.” Qin Xiao points to the snowman on the left.
“This one is Father.” His finger turns to the snowman on the right.
Lastly, he pats the bald head of the snowman in the middle. “And this one is me!”
Snowman Qin Xiao is tucked safely between its parents, its smile is a sharp curl of pebbles sprinkled with glittering snow, its branches of arms positioned in such a way that mimics the image of a child holding their parents’ hand as they walk together on the street.
Something this precious, it’s certainly eligible to be eternalized in Qin Xiao’s photo album.
But this time, it’ll be Qin Xiao himself who takes the picture as a nod of appreciation for his hard work. Qin Jiu teaches his curious cub on how to use the camera, with You Huo on their side guiding him the best angles to prevent too much brightness or shadows.
In the first picture, Qin Xiao fails to balance the camera in his hands when he clicks the shutter, causing the device to slip from his grip and dive lens down into the snow, thus the photo ends up as an endless, monotone white.
In the second picture, everything is a blur because when Qin Xiao moves about to find a good angle as per his father’s guidance, his foot suddenly steps into a ditch in the snow and the camera gets flung from his hands, once again kissing the snow.
Poor little camera. Qin Jiu begins to suspect that his and his Big Invigilator’s bad luck is somehow passed down to their cub…
But you know what they say: third time’s a charm.
In the third picture, there’s a harmonious family portrait of three snowmen, the pristine white backyard becoming their homely canvas. In this family portrait, there's a big one with a playful grin, another big one with a serious expression, and a little one with a sharp smile.
Qin Jiu, You Huo, and Qin Xiao share a look, before two certain Qins laugh happily and a certain You nods in satisfaction.
This third picture is perfect.
“Xiao" meant “dawn".
The night after they discovered that the cub’s gender was a boy, Qin Jiu procured a piece of paper and wrote down this one character in bold, confident strokes, fitting for the grin of his fangs and the anticipation in his eyes.
“Big Invigilator, what do you think of this name for our little one?"
"It's perfect.”
You Huo liked the name the instant he laid his eyes on it, because what was the bridge between evening’s starless abyss and noon’s piercing ichor, if not the gossamer veil of dawn?
Dawn, who stood together with the boundless night and day. “Xiao", who stood together with his parents. For once, You Huo applauded Qin Jiu's naming choices.
Determining their cub's given name was easy.
Determining his family name was a different story altogether.
Qin Jiu's pen hovered over the blank space on the "Xiao” character’s left side. Strong, slender fingers wounded around the pen in a firm grip, as if an unspeakable emotion, shouldered by each trail of thin veins. It was under You Huo's contemplative gaze that Qin Jiu slowly scribbled the first line on the paper.
Then another.
And another.
Until the character "You” came to life under the blunt tip of Qin Jiu's pen.
You Huo frowned. “Why my surname?"
Qin Jiu smiled, his pen forgotten in favour of running absent circles along the small bump on You Huo's lower belly. You Huo refused to look away from him, even as his own hand trailed down to cup the back of Qin Jiu's knuckles.
Because he knew this smile very well.
Carefree, comforting, as if only by looking at that smile, it erased the horrors of yesterday and the anxiety of tomorrow from one's heart.
It was a smile to appease and reassure Qin Jiu's most important person.
“It is my dear Big Invigilator who works hard to carry our cub, so it's just natural that our Little Big Invigilator takes your surname, don't you think so?"
“My dear."
“Mm?"
A flap of butterfly wings pales in comparison to the gentleness in this kiss Qin Jiu delivers. It may be a touch so ephemeral, one that lasts barely an inhale, but You Huo still feels its warmth sink into the very marrow of his bones, feels its warmth coming home to the abode in his heart, until his body becomes the paper in which Qin Jiu's lips tenderly spell out his love, his affection, his adoration and gratitude.
"I've given you my goodnight kiss,” Qin Jiu says as he draws back, forefinger tapping the upwards curve of his bottom lip. "Won't my dear give me a kiss as well?”
You Huo is about to do exactly that, his palm a pillow for Qin Jiu's cheek and his lips one breath shy from Qin Jiu’s own, but when he catches a speck of white in his peripheral vision, his movements halt midway.
“Xiao’er," You Huo calls out to the direction of the bathroom that's connected to their bedroom. Right behind the door, hiding with only a pair of golden orbs peeking past, there's a mop of dark brown hair, adorned with round white ears, and a long snowy tail that bristles in surprise from his father's voice.
Qin Xiao averts his gaze away from his parents on the bed, his childish voice meek. "Sorry, didn't mean to bother Dad and Father…"
“It's okay, Little Big Invigilator," Qin Jiu croons, always a softie when it comes to his cub. Well, it's not like You Huo is any different. “Come here, let Dad give you a goodnight kiss too."
Qin Xiao’s ears and tail perk up, his previous embarrassment instantly washed away. In his excitement to jump onto the bed, he stumbles over his own footing and would’ve fallen to the floor face first if it weren’t for Qin Jiu and You Huo’s lightning-fast reflexes that come to his rescue in time, their arms circling their son’s stomach as if a pair of firefighters poised to haul survivors outside a burning building.
In the military base, it’s a nightmare whenever Chief Instructor You and Instructor Qin work together, but in this house, it will always be Qin Xiao’s salvation.
The first to break the awkward silence that ensues is Qin Jiu and his entertained laughter. Seeing that his dad doesn't reprimand him for his clumsiness, Qin Xiao dissolves into giggles as well, and You Huo can only shake his head, endlessly fond, as the three of them return to the bed.
“Easy, Xiao’er,” You Huo says softly as he lifts his son by the armpits and brings him over to face Qin Jiu. Qin Xiao is quick to throw his arms over Qin Jiu's shoulders and bump his cheek against his father’s, his happiness growing louder in tandem to his purrs the more Qin Jiu peppers his face with kisses.
In return, You Huo scoots closer to them and wraps his arms around their figures, nosing the back of Qin Xiao's head with his scent of bliss afloat in the air, sustained in perfect harmony with Qin Jiu’s own—it’s the unobstructed winds of winter, it's the unadulterated flames of summer, it's their own little corner in this bustling world. “We're not going anywhere.”
Qin Xiao.
This was the name that greeted Qin Jiu's eyes when he received the birth certificate.
It was the "Xiao” he and his Big Invigilator had decided upon, yet preceded by Qin Jiu's own "Qin” instead of You Huo's family name.
A complicated expression flashed in those pitch-black eyes, thick eyebrows bent into a frown as he stared at the birth certificate, unblinking. His countenance didn't speak of anger, didn't speak of reticence, and didn't speak of disbelief, either.
It just spoke of… confusion.
Balancing their sleeping newborn cub on the crook of his arm, You Huo reached out a hand past the bed to tug at Qin Jiu's ring finger.
He met Qin Jiu's questioning gaze with a tiny smile, drained out by three hours of labour, but still so radiant, nevertheless.
“I have my uncle Old Yu, I have my nephew Yu Wen. In a way, I have Chu Yue and 154 too.”
“But you no longer have anyone left in this world. So, allow our cub to be yours. Allow us to be your family."
In the Death Squad, one's closest companion was the blood under their flesh and firearms in their hold. To them, family was a foreign notion—forgotten, discarded, locked away, all to ensure that no one but themselves would be affected by the outcome of their missions.
And yet, even long before the military, Qin Jiu had always been by himself.
No family, no attachments, no regrets.
But now—
"Qin Jiu, you have me and Xiao’er."
“You're no longer alone."
Here, in this house, the sun filters through the bedroom window to shine on the sleeping family of three everyday.
Here, in this house, Qin Jiu and You Huo take turns to cook meals everyday while Qin Xiao happily takes on the job to wipe the dining table clean.
Here, in this house, there’s always a hint of snow from You Huo’s scent gland, a hint of sun from Qin Jiu’s scent gland, and a hint of milk candy from Qin Xiao’s undeveloped scent gland.
Here, in this house, warmth has never been a rarity, not when Qin Jiu fancies drowning his beloved white tigers in kisses, not when You Huo always makes sure to thoroughly scent his husband and their son before bedtime, not when Qin Xiao’s favourite spot to sleep is in between his dad and father’s arms.
For here is our dearest, treasured home.