Chapter Text
Usually it was Sophie who woke up with a crowd in her room. Today it was Fitz. He had woken up from a rather…pecculiar dream. They were at Everglen again. Everything was the same, the dark surroundings, the rising tension. Fitz thought it would continue to be so until the sky around him began to darken and all the clouds pushed away, clearing the sky and sheeting the lost cities in darkness.
He had looked down, not looking for anything in particular. He noticed he was a little taller than normal and his skin was a tint darker. He walked for a while through the heat of the battle and came across the giant door that had crushed Umber, and released feral troll offspring on the group. Umber was still held under the door, though her eyes were opened and she seemed to be alive. “You're not going to help me? Are you?” He could imagine that he would have looked disgusted and confused with her at that moment.
“And now why the hell would I do that? You're the bad guys! You don't deserve help!”
She smiled, Not mean not angry, not vicious, Just…Somber. “Oh really Alvar?” Fitz hadn't understood what she meant at first.
“What? I’m not Alvar! I’m-I’m-I’m-” Who was he? He was Fitz. Why did it hurt him inside when he tried to tell her that? It was probably because he didn't understand who he was himself. He could slightly see himself forming in the reflection of Umber's watery eyes. He jumped, He was Alvar. “Wh-What did you do to me?” Umber shrugged.
“Nothing. This was always you.” Before Fitz could ask what she meant he was awoken by Forkle. His plump ruckle berried form standing at the edge of his bed. Behind him were his parents, Biana and a very tired Grizel along with Dex. He was confused. “What the-? What are you guys doing here?” He flushed red. He hadn't even gotten to brush his teeth yet. Forkle smiled.
“Sorry to wake you so early Mr.Vacker, but we have important business to attend to this morning. Don't you remember?” Oh Crap! Fitz had totally forgotten. Today was the day of one of the most important assignments they'd ever get from the council. Fitz wasn't technically in the nobility like his sister, but this assignment was more from the black swan than the council. And unfortunately they barely knew a thing about this mysterious task.
It was supposedly part of the human observation program. And of course he just had to go and sleep in.
“Yes, my apologies. I guess I was a little tired. But uh-? What are you all doing in my room?” Well Grizel, Dex and Biana were more outside in the doorway than in the room. They seemed to be having a heated argument between who had the better impression of a banshee. How idiotic. Though it was fun to see them try. Dex’s voice is higher than Biana’s so he sounded more like a five year old than a ferret-like beast.
“Don’t worry, You're not late but we decided it would be safer for you and your sister to go ahead and hear our recent change of plans at the same time.” What? Change in plans? Fitz blinked.
“Not to be rude but we didn't really know anything about the original plan in the first place? And shouldn't at least one councilor be here?”
Mr.Forkle looked back at Alden and Della before answering Fitz. “You’re right. We're going to be meeting councilor Oralie later, but that's not what I came to tell you. You need to start packing.” Fitz’s eyebrows raised even higher.
“What do you mean pack? What is happening?”
“I apologize for the confusion Mr.Vacker, But take some time to get ready for the day and when you get downstairs I’ll fill you in on all you need to know.” Shoot, he was still in pajamas.
After they finally gave him a bit of privacy he was able to change in peace. He made his way downstairs where the rest of them were waiting on his arrival. “I understand you wanted to tell me and Biana about this recent change of ‘plan’. But why is Dex here?” Dex sat at the table eating a freshly baked ripplefluff, courtesy of Della.
“Gee, how very nice to be wanted.” Dex deadpanned.
“I didn't mean it like that! I ju-”
“Realx Fitz, I'm just here to help Forkle with the new identities.” Ok now Fitz really needed answers.
“Ok, Seriously. What is going on?” Mr.Forkle let out a long sigh before he began. “Fitz, do you remember the main objective of your assignment?”
“Uhh it was something about observing and studying humans right?” Forkle nodded.
“Indeed it was. And we have finally settled on something I think you will all find worth it.
Grizel stood beside the window staring out at Everglen's wide lake. looked like Fitz was going to need to sit for this conversation. He took a seat right next to his sister at the table and grabbed a ripplefluff. “So-” He asked, spraying crumbs from his mouth onto the table. “-Am I finally going to get filled in on whatever craziness you guys have planned?” Biana scooted closer.
“Yes, I suppose I do owe you answers now. I’m guessing that you know that we were planning to travel to the forbidden cities for an extensive period of time?” Fitz nodded. “Well not only is that period being extended even further, we also need to find a way to integrate you into society.”
“So-o-o we'll be talking to the humans instead of just watching them?” Forkle shook his head.
“Not just talk to them. You're going to be one of them.”
Fitz was confused.
“What do you mean by one of them?” Biana asked. Forkle took out a small packet with a piece of paper inside.
“I mean we had to find a way to allow you to interact with them regularly. So we decided on this.” He handed Biana a green and white brochure.
“Eh- I can’t read English.” Biana told him, handing the paper over to Fitz. He had picked quite a bit of English in his time searching for Sophie. So it only made sense that he was forced to read some of it too.
“Goldhale global and foreign exchange school?”
“It’s supposed to be a school for humans around the world. We were lucky that we could secure spots.”
Dex sat next to biana and pulled out some sort of gadget.
“Thats where I come in. I’m choosing the most convincing identities for all of us on account of who they’re letting in and what skills that person has to have. And being foreign exchange students is the perfect cover for why some of us can’t speak English.” Fitz was still stuck on the extensive time period part.
“Exactley how long are we going to be there.”
“Four months.” Dex responded, shoving another ripplefluff into his mouth, Biana did the same.
“Four months? That’s nearly half of the year!” Fitz complained. Biana groaned.
“ No it is not! And it’s not like we can do anything here but wait for the neverseen to come and attack again! We're sitting ducks!” Fitz hated that she was right. “And it’s not like you have anything to attend to if we stay here?” Fitz also hated that he couldn't argue with her on that either. He changed the subject.
“How many people are going on this little trip anyway? And who, because if Stina’s going I’m staying here.” Dex looked relieved.
“Fortunatley, No.” He turned on his gadget to double check. “I hacked the records and it looks like only six of us can go, four girls and two boys, each for a different subject. Tam already offered to stay back and work on more of those scrolls we found in the Neverseen storage house with Tiergen. And-” Dex looked down at his gadget and turned a very bright shade of pink. “O-oops.” Was all he said.
“What is it?” Biana asked, already attempting to stare over Dex’s shoulder.
“W-w-well I-ehm.” Dex looked across the table to Fitz with just about the guiltiest look Fitz had seen since Biana accidentally sprained Keefe’s ankle during tackle bramble. Forkle leaned over to look at the gadget
“What's the issue Mr.Dizznee?”
“Yeah what’s the issue?” Fitz added suspiciously, attempting to get a peek at whatever they were looking at. Dex scrambled back and held it to his chest when Fitz tried to grab it.
“So you know how I applied us all of us for different courses and interactive clubs based on our skills?”
Dex stared at his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. “And know how I told you that the only open spots were for two boys and four girls? Well I already assigned courses and identities for both the males. Those male spots were originally me and Keefe so-”
“So you're saying I can't go because I’m a boy and there's no more spots left for me?” Fitz honestly didn’t understand what was so hard for Dex to tell them. He wouldn't really be mad if they left him out. Considering recent events he should probably start getting used to it.
“Uhm no, That’s not it. Well It’s just that-”
“Just that what?!” Fitz probed.
“I may-y-y have perchanc-e-e-e putyouridentityinasagirlandsentittotheschoolalready!” Dex turned what could only be described as neon pink. And Fitz? He could practically feel all the color drain from his face.
“Y-you what?” Fitz asked him, trying not to speak in a tone that would convey the message of I’m going to murder you.
“I’m sorry! It was an accident! It must have sensed I was trying to find a way to put you in, so I guess it just put you in as a female!” If Fitz’s parents weren't paying attention a second ago they sure were now. Just his luck. Grizel was trying (terribly) to stifle her laugh. Biana however had no sympathy and burst out laughing. Even his parents pressed their lips together to avoid a smile.
“What about this Is funny to anyone?! Can you change it? Or have an actual girl go in my place? Can you ask Tam to go? I don’t even want to go that much!” Dex looked so upset, Fitz almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
“Fitz you have to go! Even if you're not part of the nobility, the black swan still needs you for the project!” He told Fitz, Fidgeting with his sweaty fingers.
“So what am I supposed to do then? I’m obviously not a girl!” Biana looked like she was in deep thought, and a sly smile crept across her face.
“You could be.”
“Don't even joke with me Biana” Fitz tried to turn to his parents to get them to sort it out but Biana scooted towards him and put her hands on his shoulders.
“I'm serious, Fitz! What if I could turn you into a girl? Well not actually obviously, but I could get you to look like one!”
“Wait a second, I could get him elixirs from Slurps and Burps! I'm sure we have something there!” It was Fitz’s turn to go neon pink. This was not happening. He looked towards his parents. “You aren't seriously considering this heinous option are you?” Forkle looked like he was going to laugh too.
“Mr.Vacker. Even if Dex hadn’t made that mistake, we still would have had to look for a way to get you in the school and close enough to monitor its students. This may be a…efficient solution.”
“Efficient?!” He whined to his father as a last resort. “Dad, you can’t do this to me! Please don’t let them scar my masculinity!”
“Oh tch tch tch. You with your fragile little boy ego!” Biana retorted. Alden looked uncomfortable.
“Look Fitz, If this is the only way then maybe it wont be so bad. Mr.Forkle has all kinds of different identities.”
“Not as the opposite sex!” Fitz shouted. Biana stood up and pushed her chair in. Sending Fitz a half sympathetic half I'm so glad I get to put you through this Look.
“Well it looks like we all agree on one thing. And it’s that we should dress Fitz up to look like a girl.” No! He most definitely did not agree to this insanity. He continued to shout his protests amid all the planning but it was drowned out.
“I can check if I have anything in my room!” Biana told them, padding up the stairs.
“And I’ll hail my dad to see what he has in stock!” Dex added, pulling out his imparter like he didn’t just ruin Fitz’s life.
That night Fitz lay awake. Maybe he deserved this. Maybe he did have a fragile ego.
This was not how it was supposed to end.
-
“I hate you all so much.” Fitz grumbled turning to the mirror. No one was in the room with him but he felt that he should say it. When they told Keefe about the recent change in plans he had laughed for fifteen minutes straight! Fifteen minutes! Even Sophie couldn’t stop herself. What about his suffering was funny? Linh was a bit more sympathetic.
“Awh it’s not that bad! I’m sure it'll all be over soon.” Easy for her to say. Now he had to wake up on Sunday morning when he should have been sleeping in just to go and play dress up. He tucked Mr.Snuggles into the blanket and laid his tiny head down on the pillow.
“Today’s going to be horrible.” he grumbled, stomping down the stairs. Della appeared behind him, almost making him jump out of his own skin. Vackers aren’t supposed to get scared.
“Honey, I know you're not very happy about this But at least let Dex and Biana try to help you! Don’t give them a hard time.”
“Me? This is all Dex’s fault! If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this position at all.” Della shook her head and adjusted
her gown.
“Fitz, You know even if he hadn’t made that mistake, you still would have to do this right?” Fitz nodded slowly. Yeah he knew. That didn’t make it any better. “Now hurry along, your sister’s waiting at the gate. Fitz made his way out to the luminous gate that protected Everglen. Well it was supposed to anyway. Fitz wasn’t sure if there was anything that could protect anyone anymore.
“What took you so long?” Biana snipped, brushing out her hair with her fingers.
“We’ll I don't think you’d be rushing out of bed during the weekend just so you could get girl-afied by Dex. Or I don’t know…Maybe you would?” Biana flushed.
“Ugh, you're so immature!" Biana tossed her hair and took out a leaping crystal. Fitz took his sister's hand and closed his eyes. Usually travel by light was faster. But because the gates of Everglen withdrew so much light from the surrounding area, it took a little bit longer than usual to appear on the frost covered hills of Rimshire.
“W-why is it so cold?” Fitz shivered. Biana rolled her eyes.
“Because you're only wearing a tunic, you idiot.” Fitz had forgotten how cold it was around Dex’s house. Still, he couldn’t help but take in an awed breath at how the surrounding area contrasted with Juline and Kesler’s home.
“C-can we just hurry up and get this over with already?” Biana huffed and began to walk down the pathway leading to the Dizznee’s house. This really was a ridiculous situation, and here he was, walking right into it. It wasn’t like he really had a choice though. Was it? They stopped at the Dizznee’s blue glass pane door and kicked the dirt off their shoes and onto the carpet. Before Biana had even finished knocking, the door was flung open and three kids popped out of the doorway.
“Dex! Your friends are here!” The tallest boy called, his long-ish blond hair tied back into a small ponytail, like Keefe’s usually was. Fitz remembered him as Lex. A red haired girl phased her head through her brother's stomach, making him scream. That must’ve been Bex.
“More like his gi-r-r-r-l-l-l friend! Oh, and that guy who's still way cooler than him.” The only one who didn’t come out to ‘greet’ Fitz and biana was another little strawberry blond boy. He had bags under his eyes and looked more tired than any normal eleven year old should be. Though, when it came to Dex’s family, normalcy was rare. He mumbled something about no one being cooler than Dex before giving Fitz and Biana a meek wave. That was probably Rex.
“Oh uh- hi guys! Do you happen to know where your brother may be?” Biana asked them.
“He’s right here.” Rex said, pointing to Lex.
“Not me you moron! He’s talking about Dex!” Rex stuck his tongue out and pushed his brother out of his way.
“I think he’s still upstairs practicing.” Rex told them.
“Wait, practicing what?” Biana asked, finally stepping through the door. Bex gave them a content smirk.
“His apology for you!” She pointed to Fitz.
“Oh yeah!” Lex chipped in. “He was whining all-l-l night to our parents about how you were never going to forgive him.” Ok, now Fitz felt sorry. “He was so-” Dex came up from behind and put his hand over Lex’s mouth.
“Shut up! Oh- hi guys! Didn’t hear you come in. Let's go upstairs so we can get started! And get away from these blabber mouths!” He pushed his siblings out of the way and whisked them up to his room. Before he slammed the door he shouted “Bex! You know what happens if you phase through my doors!” Dex locked his door before she had time to respond. “So, I u-uh I’m really sorry Fitz! I n-”
“It’s fine, you really don’t have to apologize. This isn’t your fault and... I don't blame you” He honestly didn’t fully forgive Dex. But it was worth it to see Dex’s relieved face.
“Oh! That’s a huge relief! So-o-o, anyway. We should probably get started now.”
Ugh, I guess.”Fitz groaned. This was probably the point of his life when people would finally stop taking him seriously.
“I guess all we really have to change is your hair and your voice, otherwise-”
“Otherwise what?” Fitz asked when Dex didn’t finish.
“Well its just-”
“He’s trying to say that other than your hair and your ‘deep male voice’ you look like a petite little girl.” Biana interrupted.
“What’s wrong with you guys! I do not look like a girl!” Clearly they were dead set on making this day hard for him.
“Well I mean your face is a bit…-” Dex started. “Round.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Fitz asked them.
“We're just saying it makes you look a little like a girl! That's all.” Biana finished. Clearly they were blind. Fitz had muscles and a totally chiseled face! Yeah!...Right?
“Can we get started already?” Dex asked amid the fighting.
“Whatever!” Fitz and Biana responded in unison. Dex walked over to a drawer filled with all sorts of vials and elixirs and held his finger to his mouth.
“Please don’t tell my parents about these! I'm not exactly supposed to have these in my room. But I keep them just in case.” He searched through the drawer and pulled out a small vial of blurry blue liquid. “This should be the thing to grow out your hair.” He tossed Fitz the vile and went back to searching. Fitz stared undesirably at the little bottle.
“Are we sure this is safe? Why can't I look like Bex? She’s a girl as her hair is just as short as mine!”” He asked, popping the top.
“Oh don't be such a baby!” Biana scolded, pushing the vial into his chest. Fitz sighed and reluctantly took a swig.
“This tastes!- Wow, this isn’t too bad.” Just then Dex tossed him another concoction. This time a thick green liquid in a thicker, bigger bottle.
”This should change your voice!”
“Ok, this one looks way worse than the last one.”
“Just drink," Biana instructed.
“Lets hope it tastes as good as the last one.” It was not. It was definitely not as good as the last one. “Yuck, this tastes like verminion spit."
“How would you know?” Biana asked, observing the empty bottle.
“Ugh, Just- Is it working?” Fitz asked, feeling his hair. No, still short. But his voice… He gasped and covered his mouth.
“Oh my gosh!” Biana squealed. “You sound just like me.”
“Shes not lying!” Dex said, beaming at his successful work. Fitz shook his head, refusing to speak. Why did Dex have to be such a great alchemist?
“C’mon you have to speak eventually! And, hey. Why isn’t his hair growing?”
Dex closed the drawer. “It should be done by the time he wakes up tomorrow. Which is good because that's about the time we're supposed to leave.” Great, everyone would be able to bask in his humiliation. Ugh, what could he possibly have done to deserve this?