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It's been around 40 years since I've finally arrived to Erid and got used to the life here. Thanks to all the eridians working tirelessly to make a safe living environment for me, I've been living a pretty good and satisfying life. Teaching the young eridians all about earth has been a blast, and I've been met with lots of enthusiasm and curiosity, and that does fill me with warmth, although... Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel this knot forming in my throat while I teach.
I miss earth.
I miss home.
I'm not saying Erid isn't my home. Home is where your heart desires, not a physical stationary place. Here I have Rocky, Adrian, and I've even made some friends between the scientists and locals.
But the trees, the grassy fields, the laughter of the children, the soft touch of human skin... In the back of my mind, I can feel that I miss all those things.
The children especially... They were the whole reason why I went back to knock at Stratt's door to demand her to let me study astrophages again in the first place.
Sometimes, even after 40 or so years of me leaving earth, I still dreams of those little gleaming eyes full of wonder. I even dared in one last log to ask Stratt to write a letter for every single student of my class and find them to deliver them herself (big ask, I know, but she definitely owed me one after sending me to my certain death against my will), if they're even still alive... Gosh, I don't want to even think about that possibility.
But, even after all of that, when Rocky did tell me that they would've been able to send me back home, I refused with no second thought. Why? Well, I was already getting older and such... Hah, who am I kidding? It's because of Rocky, of course. Who else?
This will sound very sentimentalist and probably annoying, but bear with me.
Rocky found me like a real life miracle. Like destiny.
Without him, not only I wouldn't be alive to write all of this down right now, but also my whole planet would be dead, stripped of its entire population.
He was like a light in the chilling dark of an endless tunnel, where the end was certain death.
He gave me hope. Friendship. Love.
I would even dare to call him my soulmate. After all, soulmates aren't only romantic, you know.
I used to cringe when in movies I watched or books I read they talked about soulmates; it sounds so... cheesy.
But now yeah, I'd say I get it. It's like we were always meant to meet, right there in the middle of the ocean of stars, being each other's ray of hope (I'm not trying to toot my own horn by the way, after all if I didn't show up he and his planet would've been dead too) and sweet company after being alone for so long.
I don't say it lightly when I say I would've been dead without him.
Plus, he's the one who's been putting the most effort into making my life here as comfortable as possible, including coming to visit me every day to chat and play games.
Before all of this, I was terrified by the idea of death. Not really the concept of death itself, just what lies beyond that; what happens next? Do I just... stop existing? That's a scary thought.
But now... I've made peace with it. For real, this time.
I've lead a wonderful life. I mean, I'm legit the first human in history to discover extraterrestrial life and even live on another planet. How cool is that?!
Plus, despite the nostalgia I feel when I think about earth, there hasn't been a minute since when I met Rocky that I've ever felt lonely. Not one.
I can feel it... my time is almost up. It feels exhausting to even stand up, my joints hurt, my heart rate is slower each day. But I'm happy.
Will I just stop existing? Will I return to the stars? Or will there be golden gates waiting for me? I can't know for sure, but all I'm sure about is that I'm ready.
So Rock, if you're reading this, live. Be happy.
- Grace
After writing one last long message, Grace folds the paper and puts it in his pocket, waiting for his best friend to come visit.
He had an important thing to ask of him which Grace knew Rocky wouldn't like.
He finally heard the familiar insistent knock at his door and smiled, wobbling his way to the door after picking up his cane and greeting Rocky.
"Hey, Bud. Early as always."
🎶Rocky no is early. Grace just slow at waking up🎶 Rocky grumbled.
"Actually I was awake thank you very much, I just wanted to test your patience" Grace laughed. 🎶no fair! Rocky no is toy for Grace's amusement!🎶 Rocky snapped back in a playful tone.
After a moment of silence, Grace opened his mouth again.
"So uh, bud, wanna take a walk?" Rocky tilted his carapace, feeling Grace's nervousness through his breathing and slightly accelerated heartbeat.
🎶Is something wrong, question?🎶
"Oh, no no, I just wanted to, uh... stretch my legs a bit" Grace said, avoiding his gaze. Rocky decided not to pry, Grace would eventually tell him when he was ready anyways.
The two start walking slowly along the seashore, with Rocky being careful not to let Grace fall behind, and they cheerfully talked about their day, until finally they decided to sit and watch the calm sea ahead of them.
They stayed there in silence, simply enjoying each other's company.
Then, randomly, Grace spoke up after a slight sigh.
"My time is almost up, Rock."
At those words, Rocky stood up alarmed, and faced Grace.
🎶What Grace mean, question?🎶 Rocky asked in a higher pitched tone than his usual.
Grace sighed even more. "Death, Rocky. I mean death. I feel more tired each day, my joints hurt, and my memory is getting worse"
🎶Rocky will ask scientists to help! Eridians happy to research ways to help grace. Rocky promise to- 🎶
"Rocky, stop, I'm not asking you for anything like that. I made peace with it."
🎶Last time Grace said made peace, Grace not mean it.🎶
"I know, I know" Grace let out a laugh. "but I mean it this time, really."
Rocky looked like he wanted to snap back at him, but grace interrupted him.
"Will you let me talk, please?" Grace gave a small smile, and so Rocky lowered his carapace in defeat, shutting up. He had never seen him looking that sad, Grace thought. It hurt his heart to see him like that, but this is a conversation they would've had to get to sooner or later.
"I've lived a wonderful life, Rocky. On that ship, abandoned alone in space, of course I was terrified of dying. I had lived a dull life, constantly running away from my dreams afraid to take myself too seriously while shutting out everyone in the process. I don't think I've ever had an actual connection with anyone in my life. Until I met you." Grace took his gaze off from the foggy sea to look directly at Rocky, his carapace still as low as it can go.
"You gave me a reason to live. When I said you gave me everything, I meant it, bud." a smile warmer than the sun formed on Grace's face, while his eyes started to wet. For a moment, behind those age marks and tired-looking eyes Rocky saw the bright face of the young man he first met all those years ago under the ocean of stars.
🎶Grace leaking again. Leaking space blob🎶 Rocky commented in a very low tone, knowing full well that if he was human he would've been crying well more than Grace.
Grace let out a chuckle. "thumbs up?"
🎶No. Statement.🎶 Rocky's voice came out weaker and sadder than he wanted it to be.
"Tiny thumbs up, please?" Grace repeated, holding up his hand with his thumb pointing up.
After letting out a few sad protesting sounds, Rocky stuck out one of his arms, letting his finger drop down.
Grace wrapped his sad little friend in a tight hug, and rocky did the same, almost squeezing too hard. It was nice to be able to do that now that Rocky had a fitted xenonite suit, Grace thought. The hug lasted a while, neither of them wanting to let go.
After a bit, Grace took the piece of paper out of his pocket. "First, take this" he said, reaching to Rocky.
🎶What is that, question?🎶
"A little memento" Grace answered, smiling. "read it after I'm gone. You remember what I taught about written language, right?"
At the after I'm gone, Rocky hesitated. He felt like if he took the piece of paper, he'd be cutting the tie he had with Grace himself.
🎶Yes. Eridians don't forget🎶 he said, taking it anyways. With that statement, he also meant Grace. Memento? He didn't need a memento. He could never forget Grace. Never.
"Also, I have one last request. But I know you're not going to like it" Grace said, with eyes still full of tears.
🎶What is it, question?🎶 Rocky asked, tilting his carapace in Grace's direction.
"I... want to hug you one last time. But for real this time. I actually want to touch you again before I go" Grace answered in an unmoving voice, while rubbing the scar on his arm Rocky gave him all those years ago.
While Rocky doesn't have a face, but Grace swears he can almost see a dumbfounded, terrified expression on that little carapace of his.
🎶No! No no no! Too dangerous! Grace in pain! Grace die!🎶 Rocky shrieks, two octaves higher than his usual voice.
"I will die anyways, Rock. Maybe I'll survive a few more days, but I don't see the point. Will you let me?" Grace asks softly, now fully facing towards Rocky.
Rocky loosened up from his tense position in what looked like a long sigh. 🎶 Need to talk with Adrian about this, statement.🎶
Grace smiled. "deal?" he said, sticking out his fist.
Rocky reluctantly bumped his own fist onto Grace's, 🎶deal.🎶
A few hours passed, and the scientists finally called Grace, telling him everything was ready. Grace stumbled inside his house to bid a final goodbye to Armando, then slowly went to the wall where Rocky usually enters and leaves Grace's habitat habitat. He smiled at the sight of Rocky on the other side of the xenonute wall.
"I'm ready."
Rocky trembled. He was definitely not ready to see his friend in pain, but admittedly he was also excited he could actually feel Grace for one last time.
The scientist gave grace a mask to breathe oxygen, and led him to the airlock. Grace was brimming in anticipation.
The room opened, with scientists and Adrian watching from afar, giving the two space. Adrian had already thanked Grace multiple times before, and they were also sad to see them go, so they wanted to witness.
Pain. A lot of pain. But Grace didn't care. Before he could look for Rocky, he had already run to him and wrapped his limbs around Grace's body. Ah, what a wonderful feeling, Grace thought, tears streaming down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms tight around his friend. He could feel the texture of his skin, the carvings on his arms and the vibrations of his body. He paid no mind to the excruciating burning sensation all over his body. At that moment, it was the happiest he had ever been.
Before he could die, the scientists hurriedly forced him into his habitat, as the stumbled on the floor coughing.
Rocky put on his suit as fast as he could and entered too to go to Grace's side.
After he finished coughing, Grace lies down on his back, trying to ignore the terrible pain. Seeing that Rocky was extremely panicked, he looked at him smiling, with eyes still filled with tears.
He didn't care about the burns. He didn't care about the pain. Right now he was the happiest he could ever be.
"I love you more than anything, Rocky." he says softly in between wheezes, taking Ricky's hand and squeezing it. "thank you for everything."
Rocky squeezed his hand back, letting out a few whining noises. 🎶Rocky loves Grace too. Grace rest now, Rocky will watch Grace sleep.🎶
After that, Rocky listens closely to Grace's heart and breathing slowing down... and then stop, never to start again.