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Truth be told, Sam had always felt like a background actor in this big universe he was born into. Not even a background actor, honestly, he was that one kid playing a dry bush in a drama club — yeah, laugh it up, but he wasn’t the most eloquent person out there, okay?
But, really, how could he not feel that way? Being born as a Beta (and a middle child, too, yeesh, choose a struggle) meant exactly that; standing in the background, while letting others shine. Because after all, he wasn’t as intimidating as Alphas, or as important as Omegas.
At the end of the day, he was just Sam, and he’d come to accept the fact that he wasn’t part of the important circle of the people. Well, to be fair, people weren’t outright saying it, but it was pretty damn obvious. Because, apparently, the world was progressing forward, and it was no longer important what secondary gender one was.
Yeah, right.
Maybe that was the truth in more progressive states, but he could see it. The looks of pity, the scrunched nose, or the jokes that were made anytime Sam mention the fact that he was a Beta. It was the Midwest, after all, what exactly was he expecting here?
Because each group has its own role, after all — well, the official roles might’ve been different, but Sam had been observing this world long enough to know what was actually happening, and he was going to be nice enough to explain it. The Alphas were natural leaders, known for being aggressive and violent, passing through the life by sheer force. On the other hand, the Omegas were the masters of manipulation, known for their charm, having countless opportunities handed to them on a silver platter.
And Betas? Ah, did you forget? They weren’t important. The forgotten secondary gender that didn’t even have a scent, couldn’t have a mate, or even offer anything useful to the society. Because the world had its own group of popular kids even after high school.
Sam knew all that. Others did, too. So, why exactly did an Alpha decide to be his friend in the first place?
Colby Brock was an anomaly of a person. The rest of the Alphas their age stuck together, creating their own tightly knitted circle that Colby rejected completely, instead flocking towards the little clique of Betas they had created. And it wasn’t just that. Unlike the rest of the Alphas, the other boy seemed to… be totally normal in every other aspect. Just a kid with an emo haircut and a smile so bright that it could light up any room.
For some time, Sam believed that Colby was going to leave — sooner or later realizing how he should’ve been acting and who he should’ve been hanging out with. But Colby stuck around, and their bond grew closer with every passing day.
Two separate people became one unit that could not be apart for more than a day without feeling like they were losing their minds. Being alone became strange; not only to them, but to their families and friends alike and seeing one without the other became the rarest of occurrences.
And for once in his life, Sam finally felt like he could find his own place in this vast world that had never paid any attention to him. Because, for once in his life, the forgotten child had someone that took the effort to remember every single thing about him, coaxing him out of his shell.
Truly, Colby Brock was the biggest enigma that Sam had ever met.
But, on some days, he still wondered what Colby even saw in him — was there anything that was worth it? Did he already mention how the society viewed people like him? Whatever, he was going to mention it again, because it was the key factor in his upbringing.
Over the years, he kept asking Colby if he was really going to stay. There were certain expectations for the Alphas, after all, no? They were meant to be these strong people, being in a relationship with an Omega, and be the leaders of the world, or whatever the fuck they were doing out there. However, it didn’t matter how many times Sam asked, the answer never changed.
“It’s Sam and Colby against the world.”
And Colby always smiled — bright and honest — before discussing another YouTube video they were supposed to film. To him, it seemed just like a silly question, but Sam could feel his confidence growing each time he heard those same words. His best friend never made a big deal out of answering the same thing over and over, and if that wasn’t exactly what he needed.
With Colby around, Sam could pretend that people weren’t staring at him weird, questioning the lack of scent whenever he entered the room. For once, he was getting treated as an equal, the hierarchy of secondary genders forgotten.
The filming for their next haunted video took much longer than they initially expected, leaving them spent and exhausted, wanting nothing more than to crash in their hotel room. Though, Sam couldn’t complain that much — they did get some great footage and a lot of evidence, so he counted it as a success. At the same time, he wasn’t going to comment on one of the ghosts apparently having a personal vendetta against him, as it messed with a REM pod most of the video.
Whatever! It was a good night of filming and that was all that mattered.
“I might actually fall asleep on my feet,” said Sam, once he unlocked the door. Their belongings were scattered across the floor, as they’d been frantically looking for a spirit box, thinking they might’ve forgotten to pack it — nothing like that, Colby just put it in a different bag. Yep, Sam had made it into his duty to remind him every five minutes throughout the night.
Colby only gave a non-committal hum, rubbing his eyes. “I feel fucking spent,” he muttered after a moment, draping his jacket over a nearby chair.
“Yeah, you look fucking dead, dude,” noted Sam, raising one eyebrow. He stepped closer, already pressing one hand to Colby’s forehead and then his cheek, checking for a fever just in case. “You alright? You’ve been off the whole day.”
Colby shrugged, rather uselessly, too, not quite meeting his gaze. He leaned into the touch on his cheek, sucking in a sharp breath. “Just… I don’t know. Feeling a little weird. Guess I woke up on a wrong side of the bed,” he tried to joke, but it fell flat.
Sam frowned, but still didn’t pull his hand away. Instead, he brushed his thumb against Colby’s cheekbone, watching as his best friend let his eyes flutter shut. “Did you even sleep last night?” he asked, keeping his voice light. There truly was no reason for scolding his best friend, if the damage had already been done. But some light concern wouldn’t hurt, no?
Colby groaned, letting his body fall forward, almost making Sam fall. He heaved an exasperated sigh, but put his hands on Colby’s back, drawing mindless patterns with his fingertips. “I haven’t been sleeping well,” he admitted after a beat of silence.
Sam hummed, narrowing his eyes. It wasn’t that unusual, as their sleeping schedules could get all over the place, especially while traveling, but at the same time…
“Why didn’t you come to me at night?” he asked, keeping his voice gentle. Again, he didn’t want to be scolding his best friend, as the man seemed to pass out any moment, but it was strange that he didn’t seek out Sam’s help. Over the years, sleeping next to each other became a bit of a habit. He still remembered his older sister asking him about it when he was a teenager, poking fun at him about it. His mom, on the other hand, commented about how codependent they were becoming.
And, okay, maybe they were a little codependent. Just a tiny bit, though. But Sam had met Colby at such a vulnerable time of his life when nothing made sense, and he felt like his existence didn’t even matter. Of course, he got attached — Colby led him out of the never-ending darkness that had been surrounding him for years by simply noticing him. By actually seeing him. So, yeah, Sam was maybe a bit attached.
Now, it wasn’t like Colby was any better. Well, to be fair, it’d never seemed like he needed Sam that much, as his best friend had always been more… self-assured. But, ah, Colby definitely still wanted him around, right? Right?
“I didn’t want to bother you,” whispered Colby, interrupting Sam’s train of thought.
Sam pulled away just enough to look at Colby, his frown deepening. Just when did the word ‘bother’ enter their vocabulary when it came to each other? They’d always been in each other’s space, merging it into one. They sought out each other’s presence at all times, didn’t they? It’d always been Sam and Colby, so why had his best friend suddenly decide not to bother him?
No, no. Bad Sam! He was getting far too into his head, and it clearly wasn’t doing him any good. They’d been best friends for ages now, they’d known each other over a half of their life — one couldn’t exist without the other.
Or, maybe, Sam was the one who couldn’t exist without Colby.
“You don’t bother me, dude,” mumbled Sam, forcing a smile onto his face. “Do you want to share a bed tonight?”
Colby opened and closed his mouth, seemingly a little hesitant. Then, finally he nodded. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
Sam scoffed, shaking his head at the statement. No, honestly, Colby was being fucking ridiculous, what was up with him, anyway?
“I don’t,” replied Sam, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, it’s fine. Especially if it’s gonna help you sleep better, yeah?”
Colby nodded, his lips curling up in the smallest of smiles. “Thank you, man.”
Once they both took a shower and changed into pajamas, Sam dragged Colby by his hand to his bed, far too worried his best friend was suddenly going to change his mind. Truth be told, now it was more about just helping Colby sleep — he wanted to provide something. That wasn’t irrational at all, right? Wanting to be somehow useful? And needed? Nah, that was definitely the most rational thing in the world, actually.
When Colby lied down, he scooted closer to rest his forehead against Sam’s shoulder, curling into a ball. So much for Alphas being intimidating, huh? It was one of the things that Sam absolutely adored about his best friend — he actively went against every single stereotype that so many Alphas have been clinging to for so long. Or, well, at least the ones that he’d gotten to know over the years.
In a way, he’d always assumed it came with how one was raised. Growing up in the Midwest meant that traditions held a big role in people’s lives. It’d always been important for Alphas to find Omegas to mate with, continuing the sacred bloodline, or whatever the fuck was happening there. And, well, Betas could find a partner (never a mate, because that was reserved for the chosen ones) between themselves.
But, as he was saying, Colby had never clung to the stereotypes too hard. Sure, he could seem scary at times, but he had the gentlest heart out of anyone he’d ever met. On top of everything, he’d always had so much care and compassion for others.
In every way possible, Colby had always been a much better person than Sam could ever dream of. No wonder his best friend could easily keep on living without him…
No. Sam was not going there again.
Sam forced his body to relax, instead occupying his mind with the task on hand — getting Colby to fall asleep.
“Here,” murmured Sam, draping a duvet over Colby’s body. “You’re gonna get cold, you idiot.”
“No, I won’t,” mumbled Colby, practically half-asleep, burying his face in the crook of Sam’s neck. He sighed softly, his body practically melting right next to Sam.
And this was the reason why they shared bed so much in the first place, after all. Because being right next to each other meant safety and comfort. Who even cared that they were two grown ass men? Some days were just a bit harder than the others — maybe it had to do something with going to so many haunted places that were filled with too many tragedies, all the residual energy weighing on them.
Sam chuckled, carefully wrapping one arm around Colby’s shoulder. Yeah, this was alright. They were alright. Maybe Sam was too tired, and the entire day was getting to him, his brain betraying him. It wouldn’t have been the first (or the last) time it happened. So, all he needed was to get out of his head and be… useful.
Yeah, that was all.
Over the next few days, Sam wasn’t able to get rid of that nagging feeling deep inside his brain. At first, he simply believed that he was getting just too lost in his thoughts, his brain ruining his days with a few unwanted scenarios. But, no, it was as if his insecurities were coming back full-force.
And, listen, he did his fair share of fighting against them, okay? Being born as a Beta meant that one needed to fight against the pressure coming from every single side, the society essentially telling him that he wasn’t bringing anything useful to the table.
But, at the same time, he’d witnessed people go against it — and no, it wasn’t just Colby, thank you very much, though, it was true that he might’ve set his best as the standard. Colby had never made a big deal out of spending most of his time with Betas and had never made it into his goal to chase the most traditional relationship.
At the same time, though, Sam couldn’t help, but wonder how long it was going to be this way. Sure, Colby didn’t have the urge to settle down for now, at least, but it wasn’t like Sam could’ve demanded from his best friend to stay by his side forever. While that was what Sam would’ve preferred, it didn’t seem… fair. Because Colby had a chance to create a bond with someone.
A bond that was much stronger than Sam could ever imagine. Was it going to be stronger than his bond with Colby? More meaningful?
While Colby didn’t look for that special someone just yet, it didn’t mean that there weren’t certain expectations. There were only so many ways how to dismiss your parents nagging you constantly. And, fuck, Sam had heard all about the nagging that his best friend’s parents were doing — far too many questions and too many glares.
Colby must’ve been exhausted. But finding an Omega would’ve gotten him away from these annoying questions, even as the other man actively fought against the stereotypes.
No, no, no. Sam was getting lost in his thoughts again. See? This had been his problem for the last few days, the nagging insecurity settling deep inside his body. He was far too old for something like this, actually — those silly thoughts were meant to stay in the best, with his teenage self.
What wasn’t helping his self-esteem was the fact that Colby had been acting strange. They lived together, and yet Sam barely saw his best friend, unless they switched to edit a video, or when they decided to have a meal together. It was if the promise of Sam and Colby was slowly disappearing.
Sam absolutely hated everything about it.
“You good?” asked Sam, as he peeked inside Colby’s room, not bothering to knock. His best friend was sprawled on his bed, staring at the ceiling, as if it held all the answers of the universe. Either that, or Colby insisted on having a staring contest with the inanimate object.
Colby only hummed vaguely in response, before propping himself on his elbows. “Guess so,” he replied, averting his gaze.
“You’ve been weird,” noted Sam, as walked further into the room. “Did I do something?”
It wouldn’t have been the first time — sometimes, Sam let his emotions get the better of him, and he said something to upset Colby on accident. But since his best friend insisted on acting like a saint, Colby usually kept whatever was bothering him to himself, because he hated to inconvenience others. So, that usually left Sam to do the confrontation, because the other man was sometimes allergic to his own feelings.
“No, no. Of course not,” murmured Colby, finally sitting up properly. He looked at Sam with a small frown on his face, tilting his head to the side. “What makes you say that?”
Too many things, actually. But, to be fair, Sam had no idea where his insecurities ended and the actual problems started. His brain was rarely ever his friend, and at times, it usually convinced him of the wildest things, only to be proven completely wrong in the end. And once again, he couldn’t really tell what was wrong and what his mind was trying to convince him of.
Was Colby pulling away, or was Sam being insecure, his insecurities telling him that his best friend no longer saw any use in him?
Sam only shrugged vaguely, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “It’s just a… feeling, I guess,” he mumbled, unsure of his own words. How many times had his feelings come from a place of deeply rooted self-esteem issues? Yes, he’d been working on them over the years, and he managed to get through a lot of them mainly because of Colby. It didn’t mean they were completely gone.
Well, clearly not, eh?
“You’ve been barely talking to me these days,” added Sam, the words stumbling out of his mouth, before he’d managed to stop them. “And—and I don’t understand why. You’re terrible with your own emotions, and I get that, but I can’t help you, if you don’t tell me anything. I want to help you.”
It was the least Sam could do. Colby had done so much for him over the years, picking him up anytime he fell. He wanted to do something for his best friend. Sam wanted to be needed. And needed to be wanted.
Colby was quiet for a long moment, worrying his lower lip between his teeth harshly. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he sighed and patted the empty spot next to him on the bed. Sam didn’t hesitate, immediately sitting down cross-legged next to Colby.
“I just…” Colby trailed off, pulling one knee to his chest. “On some days, everything feels like too much, y’know? It’s like most people want to put me into a neat, little box and then get mad when I don’t want to stay inside.”
Sam swallowed around nothing, scooting closer. “Is this about your parents?”
Colby froze, his shoulders tensing up immediately, but nodded, anyway. “Yeah,” he breathed out, rubbing his eye. “They’re acting like I’m supposed to settle down like Gage did. The sooner, the better,” he huffed, rolling his eyes.
Unlike Sam, Colby had always faced expectations — to find his perfect match, to settle down, to do what an Alpha was meant to do. It must’ve been the Midwest traditions that were still going strong, even now.
On the other hand, Sam had always been… well, in the background, like always. The two of his siblings were Alphas, pushing him to the side. Sure, he didn’t face any pressure from his parents to do, or not to do certain things, but in the same breath, it made him invisible. Forgotten. He couldn’t have provided anything to the society, as he’d already established.
“Times change, though, don’t they?” mused Sam, leaning back on his hands. “It’s not like it’s required to find your mate and do all that.”
Colby nodded, picking on a loose string of his sweatpants. “It’s not like I don’t want it,” he admitted, his voice barely audible, “but I don’t understand why it has to be an Omega. Shouldn’t I be looking for someone based on who they are as a person and not what their secondary gender is? I’ve always found it stupid.”
Sam hummed in agreement, gesturing with one hand for Colby to continue.
“Why can’t I fall in love with another Alpha? Or—or a Beta?” added Colby, looking up from the loose string. “I understand that, in their heads, following the traditions makes the most sense, but it just feels…”
“Suffocating?” offered Sam, keeping his voice gentle.
“Yeah,” whispered Colby, dragging one hand across his hand. Then, he let his body fall uselessly on the bed, heaving a deep sigh. “I’m just so tired, dude.”
Oh, and he sounded fucking defeated, too. Sam had never imagined for his best friend to ever sound this exhausted, and he couldn’t help, but wonder how long he’d been harboring these feelings — being torn between what Colby wanted and what was expected of him.
“I’m sorry,” said Sam, biting the inside of his cheek. “You deserve to choose whoever you want.”
Instead of replying, Colby simply reached his arms out to Sam, waiting. It took Sam an embarrassingly long five seconds to realize what his best friend wanted, but once it clicked, he happily obliged. He lied down on the bed, using Colby’s chest as a pillow, letting the other man wrap his arms around him.
Sam could hear the steady heartbeat beneath him and could faintly smell the scent of honey. Yet another thing about Betas that was fucking annoying — not only was his own scent almost non-existent, he could also barely smell anyone’s scent. His own biology was making it impossible to somehow integrate into the society that had been built of enhanced senses. Ugh.
Colby buried his nose in the crown of Sam’s, taking in a deep breath, before making a strange sound in the back of his throat — Sam couldn’t identify it. Was it irritation? Confusion?
“You smell like other people,” mumbled Colby after a moment, and oh. Okay. He sounded annoyed with something else in the background.
Sam only shrugged. “I went grocery shopping today, since it was my turn,” he explained. “Well, at least I smell like something.”
“No,” blurted out Colby with a frown on his face.
“What?” Sam frowned. “What do you mean no?”
Colby opened and closed his mouth, before letting his head fall against the pillow, staring at the ceiling. “You smell like other people. You don’t smell like you.”
“I’m confused,” mumbled Sam, shaking his head, as he propped himself on one elbow to look at Colby properly. “Last time I checked, I didn’t smell like anything. Betas don’t really have a scent.”
Colby was quiet for a long moment, biting on his lower lip once more, leaving indents in it — Sam was sure it was going to start bleeding soon. “You do have a scent,” he replied after a moment. “Sure, it’s mild, but I’ve always had a… I don’t know. A better sense of smell, I guess?”
Sam only blinked slowly, taking in the words. Oh, that sure was interesting — he wasn’t even aware of that! “What do I smell like?”
“Like a lemon soda,” replied Colby immediately, not even thinking about it. “Kinda sweet, kinda sour. A little bitter. Guess it describes you well,” he quipped, his lips curling up in a smirk.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” huffed Sam, swatting Colby slightly on the chest, even as a small chuckle escaped his mouth. It was far too hard to even pretend he was annoyed. He was quiet for a moment, feeling his curiosity getting the better of him, as he asked, “Do you like it?”
“Yes,” answered Colby, not hesitating even for a moment. That alone brought some comfort to his insecurity-riddled brain, making it easier to breathe.
“But you hate the fact that I smell like other people?” continued Sam, watching as Colby nodded in agreement. “Can you do anything about it?”
Colby audibly swallowed, before shifting his gaze to look at Sam. His expression morphed into something complicated, looking as if he was debating himself on what he wanted to say. Then, finally, he spoke up again, “I could scent you. It would make it… easier. Not to smell other people, but me on you.”
Scenting. Right. The thing that had been reserved purely for Alphas and Omegas. Had Betas ever been involved in this? Growing up, his siblings had gotten scented numerous times by their parents as little kids, but it’d never been… for Sam. Again, the curse of being stuck in the background and all that.
What was he even supposed to expect?
“I’ve never…” Sam trailed off, biting his bottom lip, unsure how to continue the sentence.
“I know,” murmured Colby, changing their positions, so they were both sitting up, facing each other. “And I’m fully aware this might be just so fucking weird for you, and I don’t ever give into these instincts, or whatever they are, and I hate it, but I hate the fact that I smell others on you more and—”
“Hey,” said Sam, gently cutting Colby off. He watched, as his best friend took in sharp breaths, his entire body tense. “Sure, it might be a little strange, but, y’know, whatever helps you out, man.”
“Really?” breathed out Colby, leaning in.
Sam scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Yes. Stop acting like you’re bothering me, yeah?”
Colby only nodded, before carefully reaching one hand out. Sam tilted his head back, letting his eyes close. He’d never been scented, but he did see it before — either in his family, or whenever Tara was scenting Jake, while they were still together. So, he simply mimicked what he’d seen; baring his throat.
He sucked in a sharp breath, when he felt Colby’s wrist rubbing gently against his neck, from the side of it all the way to his pulse-point, before repeating the movement on the other side. Even though, the whole process was unfamiliar, the touches were soothing, and Sam couldn’t help, but notice just how gentle Colby was being. It wasn’t that surprising, though — he did mention that his best friend had the gentlest heart, no?
“Feels alright?” asked Colby, his voice quiet.
Sam only hummed, his head starting to swim. He’d never been affected by pheromones before, so this was definitely a strange sensation. The sweet scent of honey was clinging to him, making his body relax.
“Do you think you can use your words, Sammy?” added Colby. The shift in his voice was barely noticeable, but it was there — it wasn’t like his best friend was demanding, no, but Sam couldn’t find it in him not to listen to him.
“Yes,” breathed out Sam, barely audible. “Feels nice.”
Colby let out a light chuckle, sounding pleased with the answer. “Thank you. You’re doing so good, Sammy.”
Sam made a soft sound in the back of his throat, unable to control it. He wasn’t an Omega, so he wasn’t even supposed to have these reactions. Was it simply because his relationship with Colby transcended whatever expectations the society had? He didn’t know, and he wasn’t really sure if was capable of caring.
“Does… does it make you feel better?” asked Sam, forcing his eyes open. His eyelids were feeling heavy, his entire body turning sluggish. Was this normal?
Colby tilted his head from side to side, as if pondering over the question. “Kinda? It’s not—well, it’s still not completely there, but I don’t wanna freak you out more, so—”
“Do it,” blurted out Sam, not letting Colby finish the sentence.
“You don’t even know what I want to do,” argued Colby, shaking his head. He pulled away his hand from Sam’s neck — all hesitant, as if it was physically painful not to scent Sam anymore.
Sam shrugged in response. “I don’t care. Do whatever, I don’t care.”
“Are you sure?” asked Colby, his eyebrows knitting together. “I don’t want to, I don’t know, force myself on you, or something, just because my mind is being all primal and shit.”
“It’s you,” breathed out Sam, putting his hands on Colby’s shoulder, trying to anchor himself. “I trust you. You should know this by now. So, do whatever you want with me.”
A noise far too similar to a growl escaped Colby’s throat, before Sam suddenly found himself getting pushed into the sheets. Colby was looming over him, his pupils blown wide. Had it been anyone else, Sam would’ve been worried. Perhaps even scared.
But this was Colby. A man with the gentlest heart of them all, who treated those around him with nothing, but compassion. How could he possibly be scared of someone, who loved so fiercely?
“You can stop me. Stop me anytime it gets too much,” whispered Colby, his voice bordering on frantic, carefully tilting Sam’s head back. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Or scared. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
Sam chuckled quietly, burying his fingers in Colby’s hair, combing through it. “You worry too much.”
Colby didn’t reply; instead he lowered his head, before pressing his tongue right against Sam’s throat. The hot sensation on the column of his throat made Sam gasp quietly, tightening his hold on Colby’s hair. Despite the first feeling of surprise, soon enough his body began to relax, and he let his eyes flutter shut.
“How do you feel, Sammy?” asked Colby, when he pulled away for a moment.
At first, Sam wanted to only hum in response, before he quickly changed his mind, trying to will his brain to form words. “Good. I feel good,” he whispered, gently scratching his nails against Colby’s scalp. “You? Is… is it better now?”
“Yeah,” breathed out Colby, placing light kisses down Sam’s throat, before tugging on the shirt just enough to pepper more kisses across his collarbones. “You smell like me.”
“Do I?” mused Sam, his lips curling up in a lazy grin. He could hear himself giggling, unable to stop the sounds, even if he tried. “Do you like it?”
Colby pulled away just enough to look at Sam, his expression softening. He pressed their foreheads together, heaving a blissful sigh. “I do. Just so fucking much.”
“Are the instincts less wild now?” asked Sam, sliding his hands to Colby’s back. He could feel the muscles shifting underneath his palms, basking in the sensation. All of a sudden, it made sense why everyone was talking so much about scenting all the time — Sam wanted to experience it again and again and again. Even though, the scent of honey was still mild, it was enough to make his head swim.
Sam couldn’t get enough.
“They are,” replied Colby after a moment, clearing his throat. He lied down next to Sam, curling against his side with a soft hum. “Thank you.”
This wasn’t how Sam had expected his evening to go, but he couldn’t find it in him to complain. Not when he could provide something for Colby, despite being just a Beta. Somehow, he could calm down his best friend’s instincts, just by doing whatever this was. Even though, he was just a forgettable part of the society, he was still needed by Colby. Still wanted.
That was all Sam could ask for.