Work Text:
Flashback to the session with Sweets:
“You. It's gotta be you. Because you're the gambler. For once, make that work for you.”
Present, outside the Hoover:
The pair descend the steps of the Hoover, side-by-side as they deride Sweets’s rather insulting assumptions. Irritation and disdain hasten Brennan's steps—“I hate psychology”—before she pauses in front of the low wall, instinctively turning towards Booth as he, too, stops, abruptly straightening out of his brooding slouch. His breath seems to freeze in him, his jaw working as his dark gaze shoots into the distance for a split second before snapping home to hers.
“I'm the gambler.”
<< BOOTH >>
“You're the gambler.”
Most people think gambling—well, winning—is about Luck. Chance. Maybe math for the human computer types like Zack.
Me though? It's about Knowing.
Gut, intuition, whatever you wanna call it.
Bones says it's my ‘Alpha Male’ instinct, my subconscious ability to read facial expressions and body language.
Whatever it is, Knowing got me through my shit childhood.
I'd like to think it makes me a good protector—a good father.
It makes me a good leader, a good investigator—a damn good cop.
It made me a good Ranger too.
A good soldier.
A good sniper.
A good killer.
None of those things are about taking a chance. About winning. I'm shit at winning anyway—just look at my life.
The Gambler?
That's not good enough.
That's not all I am.
Wrenching himself out of his private purgatory, Booth takes a breath. Determination steels his spine, but it's her eyes—her brilliant, depthless eyes—that anchor him and free his voice.
“I'm the gambler.
But Sweets is wrong. I can't ‘make it work' for me. That's not how gambling works. That's not how…addiction works. Nobody wins, not really.
I told you I had…I have a gambling problem and I'm dealing with it. I haven't placed a bet or anything since we met, and I'm not about to start now.
You're my partner. I would never gamble with you, with your life, with… our friendship.”
His eyes burn at the sudden notion of an existence devoid of her. Because that's all it would be for him. Existing.
“You…you value the truth above everything else, right?”
Brennan nods guardedly, equal parts terrified and transfixed by his speech.
“Well, I'm just gonna tell you the truth.”
He takes a deep breath but continues to hold her gaze; he's terrified that if he blinks or looks away, she'll run.
“I love you. I'm in love with you. Not in an ‘atta girl’ kinda way, not in a ‘just partners’ kinda way. You're my best friend, and the most important person in my life after Parker. I'd kill for you, I'd die for you, and I know you'd do the same for me.
I guess I just want to know if you…if you'd let me live for you too.”