Chapter Text
“Just breathe.”
The carriage rocked beneath her, and the echo of the rolling wheels and rhythmic clopping of horse’s hooves filled the silence. The air was heavy, so much so that Elphaba kept her eyes down on her hands, which were balled up on her lap. Usually her green skin was visible through the sheer lace of her gloves, but the pair on her arms today were long and opaque, hiding her verdigris past her elbow. There was, however, no hiding her striking coloring of her upper arms, chest, or face – though she desperately wished it was possible, especially today.
Today was Nessarose’s presentation to society. And, unfortunately, it was hers as well. The Governor of Munchkinland already knew there would be no hope in marrying off his eldest daughter, thanks to the wretched color of her skin. Nessarose, however, was and always had been stunningly beautiful. She was the star in Governor Thropp’s eyes, the only daughter worth putting aside a dowry for. If it was possible to only present one daughter, and if it wasn’t socially unacceptable to pretend the other didn’t exist, the evening’s festivities would be significantly less stressful for all parties. Nonetheless, here Elphaba sat in the finest gown her father could muster for her, regardless of the fact that nothing could mask her coloration nor make the contrast between her and sister any less stark.
Keeping her chin angled down, Elphaba glanced up from below her lashes to survey her surroundings. The sun was just beginning to set over the horizon of Oz, casting a pinkish orange glow over her view. Nessa sat quietly, calmly, with perfect coils around her face and the most enchanting white gown; poking out from beneath the dress’s hem, the toes of her silver shoes sparkled upon her feet. Their father, however, fidgeted his hands around a handkerchief, his softened stare directed at Nessa. The moment his eyes seemed to start to turn, Elphaba quickly shifted her eyes back down. She was used to the disgusted glares he gave to her, but the stress had made him impeccably cruel today.
More than once, she had been warned to not make any unnecessary commotion. This was Nessa’s day to shine, and hers to stay as invisible as possible. Today was Nessa’s chance to find a suitable, elite husband. Presentations of this sort were still relatively new in Oz, a tradition started by the Wizard two decades or so ago. Only the most elite families were invited to attend the ball, people prominent because of nobility, status, or wealth. Being among the most socially elite people of Oz would be the best opportunity to find a match for Nessarose, but also created more pressure to stay in line than Elphaba had ever endured before.
The sky had grown dark, stars twinkling up in the blackness by the time the carriage reached the Emerald City. To Elphaba, it was a shame. Having never been to the city, she’d hoped she would get a chance to see the beautiful place where the color green wasn’t out of the ordinary or ugly, but exalted. Her eyes turned to the window of the carriage, scanning shadows for a sign of something brilliant only to find dull candlelight bleeding from the windows of the people fortunate enough to reside in Oz’s capitol. Maybe it was just as well, considering her nerves were beginning to get the better of her.
As they came to a halt before the palace, Elphaba was starting to fidget like her father. She did her best to collect herself and waited patiently as the ramp was set up and Nessa was gingerly wheeled down. When the time came for Elphaba to step out – unattended, as was normal for her since her father was already glued to Nessa and the footman was re-folding the ramp – her eyes immediately went wide, gaping up at the immense palace and its lit windows. Suddenly, not being able to make out the beauty of the city didn't sting nearly as much. This view, the opulent beauty at the heart of the city, was more than enough to feast her eyes upon. The light streaming from the windows was so rich it was almost golden, the emerald hue of the spires just barely visible against the night sky thanks to the illumination. For a moment she was so distracted admiring it that she forgot her nerves, until her father's voice yanked her back to reality.
“Elphaba Thropp, are you listening to me?”
“Yes, Father.”
She quickly pulled herself together, folding her hands and finding his spiteful eyes. Just behind him, she could see Nessa’s brows scrunching with concern before she bowed her head in submission again.
“I’m giving you one last warning,” he hissed, nearly under his breath. “Now are you going to join us or cause a scene?”
“Of course, Father. My apologies.”
Elphaba bit her tongue, restraining herself from a sigh and watched silently as an Emerald Palace guard led them away from the grand staircase at the front of the palace and instead to an otherwise unused path off to the side, where a winding ramp made way to another elaborate entrance. The guards who awaited them there parted the doors open, illuminating them in the rich golden light from within. Elphaba hesitated a moment, knowing full well that someone like her didn't belong in a place like this. It was grand, and beautiful, and wonderful–just like the Wizard–and she… well, she couldn't have been more opposite. Discolored, disgraceful, unwanted. From the moment she was born, Elphaba was nothing but a burden on her family. Her governess was the first one to hold her, the only one who ever held her, or dried her tears, or comforted her.
It was still only gentle Dulcibear who had helped her dress and looked at her with an almost maternal pride just earlier that evening as she readied for her presentation. And as grateful as Elphaba was for Dulibear's kindness and support, it failed to counter the cruelty she'd been handed from her parents, peers, and the entirety of Munchkinland. Especially now, as she followed just behind her father and sister, she couldn't help but think of just how inferior she was. True, she was being permitted to have a presentation alongside Nessa, but she knew just as well that if there had been any way to sweep her existence under the rug while she was an infant, Governor Thropp would have done it.
Elphaba allowed her eyes to trail up and take in the sight as they were led through the rich green halls, with its marble floors and tall ceilings that echoed each of their steps. While it was quiet in this section of the palace, the further they were led in, the more evident the distant commotion of the ball became. She felt the pressure in that moment, even before her father turned one more time to shoot an icy stare her way. He said nothing, but he didn't have to for her to understand: ‘Stay invisible.’
She stopped in her tracks, motionless as she watched the guard, the Governor, and Nessa move further from her, soon disappearing around a corner and leaving her in solitude. For a long moment, she listened to the echoing voices, garbled together and nearly impossible to make out in terms of their words, but the emotions were clear: excitement, nervousness, joy.
Joy. Elphaba wasn't so sure she'd ever experienced such a thing. Perhaps in moments small tastes of it, when she and Nessa were small and they could play, but even then it was fleeting. She hoped Nessa felt joy and hopefulness now, with possibilities of a future as beautiful as her diamond-adorned shoes at her feet. If this evening went the way their father hoped, by morning she would have a dozen suitors, each with riches and unique splendor to offer her in return for her hand. And as for Elphaba, not much would change. She would stay with her father until she was well past being considered a spinster, likely caring for him in old age in place of her late mother. And when his time was up, she'd be alone, perhaps with a sister who would be willing to write to her or allow her to visit if she hadn't moved too far up into society to be bribed into disowning her vile-skinned sibling.
And all at once, at this train of thought, Elphaba found herself feeling more alone than ever before. She retreated back into the hallway that she'd come from as though she were withdrawing into herself, and soon her eyes fixated upon something she hadn't noticed on the way in. Beautiful golden swirls made up a frame that was mounted upon the wall, and unfortunately, the glass it encased showed Elphaba the sight she liked to see least: Green skin. Similarly green eyes. A dusting of freckles that formed a bridge from cheek to cheek that trailed over her nose. The lovely styling of her curled braids, pinned ornately up into a bun above the nape of her neck did nothing to take away her coloring, nor did the pleated silk dress or small gold pendant that sat on her collarbones. After all, these pretty things still framed her, and she'd known her whole life that her appearance, her existence, was obscene.
Elphaba took a step back from her reflection. She wished, just for a second, that she could forget who she was and what she looked like, that she could float into the ballroom like the other debutantes, dreaming of the future and full of hope. That she could belong–
And suddenly, as she took another step back, someone walked straight into her.
Elphaba sucked in a silent breath from the shock and steadied herself; she must have been so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear whoever it was coming. And whoever this was, they gasped and seemed to bounce backwards with a nimble sort of fright.
“I'm sorry, I–” a soft voice said, cutting through the silence and then stopping to audibly suck in a sharp breath.
As Elphaba regained her bearings, her eyes focused on a petite girl that stood before her who donned a gown of pale pink that was adorned in butterflies and seemed to flutter even as she stood still. She had soft golden hair that was half pinned up in spirals and otherwise in pristine ringlets that cascaded over her back and framed her sculpted face. Her big brown eyes, bordered by long dark lashes, gaped up at Elphaba. Her lips parted slightly and Elphaba tensed, though whether it was just because she knew what was coming or some other reason, she wasn't sure.
“You're… You're green,” the blond said slowly, her brows burrowing with what Elphaba could only decipher as confusion as she tilted her head.
“I am,” she retorted dryly, even though she wanted to wince at the words. She'd heard it so often, so constantly, especially when she was young and much of Munchkinland was unaware of the verdigris of their governor's eldest daughter. Yet no amount of repetition really took the sting away.
For a long moment the girl stared at her, seemingly at a loss for words as an array of emotions seemed to cross her features. And for that moment, all Elphaba could do was stare with numb eyes. Usually she would be bracing herself for what was to come, or readying herself for the usual defense she put on. But for just a moment she looked at this young woman, no doubt another debutante, with just a touch of envy. She was beautiful, and not just in the normal, passable way. Her complexion was flawless and fair, cheekbones perfected placed and rosey, her hair like swirling streaks of sunlight. Even the way she held herself, upright and dainty as she clasped her hands before waist, was everything society wanted to see in a lady of the ton. For a moment, Elphaba wondered what it would be like to be in her shoes–
“What sort of gambit is this?” the blond quietly uttered at last with a loose gesture in her direction. Elphaba's eyes widened with surprise as she watched the girl's lips seem to curl with exasperation. “Some desperate trickery to stand out from the crowd? To get the Wizard's attention?”
And just as quickly as it had come over her, any admiration she had for this stranger vanished.
“You think I want to look like this?” Elphaba spat back, her temper immediately surging with such suddenness that the blond girl visibly flinched. “That I want to hide back here to not embarrass my family?”
“I–” the girl tried to interject somewhat meekly, her large eyes widening as Elphaba took a furious step toward her.
“It must be nice to be normal, to waltz in without a care, and see an oddity like me as some sort of threat to the attention you think you should be receiving. Take it, for all I care!”
The more words that spilled from her green lips, the more the blond girl seemingly cowered under Elphaba's livid stare. Even worse than her sharp words or piercing eyes was the way that the mirror behind them had begun to rattle against the wall, threatening to fall from its place or shatter right where it hung. Elphaba didn't notice, nor did she recognize the way her magic was coming to life under her skin as it so often did when her temper got the better of her. She was too focused on the now doe-eyed girl, rendered speechless by her fury with quivering lips, who she felt no sympathy for.
“And maybe don't pompously assume–!”
“Ladies?”
A new voice echoed through the corridor, stopping Elphaba's rage and tempering it immediately. All at once she realized her magic's life within her and held her breath. As if her verdigris wasn't a curse enough, her uncontrollable magic was a horror in itself. For a brief moment she glanced over her shoulder at the mirror which, while still shaking slightly, seemed to be steadying. Turning back, behind the still-frozen blonde, a tall and elegant figure strode toward them. This woman, dressed in an elaborate and flowing gown with silver curls styled upon her head, looked more and more imposing the closer she got.
“My dears, you may want to move along to the ballroom,” her low voice cooed as her eyes swept over them, unreadable but cold, contrasting her slight smile and the gentle tone of her words. “The ceremony is about to begin.”
Elphaba eyed the statue-like girl beside her before bowing her head, evading the elder woman's gaze. Though she had made no reference to what she may have overheard, to have been caught speaking so crassly would have made the start to Elphaba's evening even worse, especially if it got back to her father. And frankly, with the way she'd been shouting, it was more likely than not that her echoing voice was what had drawn attention in the first place.
“Y-yes, of course,” the blond stammered. For a moment she glanced rapidly back and forth between Elphaba and the older woman, only to cast her gaze downward and draw in a shallow breath. “Please excuse me,” she nearly whispered, offering a small curtsy before gathering her skirts and fleeing down the hall with steps so light that Elphaba better understood how she hadn't heard her coming. And frankly, now that she was thinking about it, she wondered why a girl like her was wandering the halls instead of mingling with the crowd in the first place.
Elphaba bit the inside of her cheek as she listened to the girl's hurried steps fading down the hall, unsure if she regretted what she said, or how she said it, or if just the possibility of being heard was what was causing her to feel guilt. Nonetheless, she carefully curtsied, keeping her eyes down and excused herself, pacing past the woman and towards the ballroom. Though she had completely evaded looking her in the eyes, Elphaba could feel her gaze following her as she passed, burning into her back as she paced away.