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Dan and Phil are known to not go out often, it being part of their branding. But, they obviously have to go out at times, like normal people. After a whole day of being out and running errands both of their social batteries have been drained (Phil specifically), leaving them yearning to go back to their house as fast as possible.
When they made it back home it didn’t take them long before they were both in their pajamas, getting ready to go to bed.
Phil had already done everything he needed to do before going to sleep, while Dan still needed to brush his teeth.
“I just need to brush my teeth,” he said, pressing a kiss onto the other’s forehead before heading to the bathroom, dimming the lights to minimize the risk of Phil getting a migraine.
A few minutes later Dan came back to the bedroom, Phil seemingly asleep on the bed. He shut the lights off and climbed in next to him, trying his best not to wake him up.
Not even a single second after he got in bed, Phil, as if it was just a natural response, scooted himself closer to Dan, one arm wrapped around his torso.
“Hi,” Phil said, looking up to look at Dan, his face only slightly lit up by the moonlight coming from the window.
“Hi,” Dan replied, positioning himself to pull Phil closer to him. “I thought you were already asleep?”
“Couldn’t,” Phil mumbled quietly. “I was waiting for you.”
Something settled in Dan’s chest at that. Even after 16 whole years of being by eachother’s sides, through the pits of Dan’s depressive episodes and Phil’s migraines that left him unable to get up from bed, they were still always together.
“You’re such a sap,” Dan chuckled, resting his chin on Phil’s head. Phil only hummed in response, already half asleep.
“I’m proud of you, you know,” Phil placed his hand on Dan’s cheek, caressing it slightly with his thumb.
“For what?” Dan asked as he gave Phil a confused look.
“For being able to come out to our audience about us.” He said, looking the younger straight in his eyes. “I mean, we’ve been hiding this for so long, and we both know how much you struggled to accept yourself back in the day, so you being able to reveal something this big to millions of people is something I know I’m proud of.”
Dan looked at him in shock, his throat tightening slightly.
“It’s true though,” Phil reassured him. “I’m so glad that I managed to get such an amazing partner. I know even coming out was hard but you did it, and that’s what matters.”
His thumb grazed the side of Dan’s mouth before giving him a chaste kiss. “We don’t need to hide anything anymore, bear. We’ve announced our relationship, we have a podcast about it, and everything has been better than ever.”
Dan let out a breathy laugh, though it came out shakier than intended. Their room was mostly quiet except for the faint sound of rain coming from outside.
“You make it sound like it was easy,” he murmured.
Phil frowned. “I know it wasn’t.”
Dan looked away for a moment, just trying to process everything. 16 whole years of keeping everything a secret, avoiding questions, cutting themselves off or correcting eachother in videos whenever things became too honest. 16 years of loving Phil so loudly in private but so quietly in public.
But now?
He could hold Phil’s hand in public, he could call Phil his boyfriend without becoming sick with fear after, they could actually be themselves, love eachother for themselves infront of others.
It didn’t take long before Dan started to feel tears starting to well in his eyes, trying to hide them as much as he can.
“Dan,” Phil, seeing the rather obvious glimmer in Dan’s eyes, tried to get him to look at him with no avail. “Oh, Danny, don’t cry-”
“I’m sorry,” Dan said, finally letting the tears he was holding fall as he tried his best to cover his face with his hand. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
Phil tightened his grip on him, trying to keep him impossibly close.
“You don’t need to apologize,” He repeated softly. “Hey, can you look at me for a second?”
Dan tried. He tried with everything in his might to look at Phil even though he knew that if he did, the tears would have gotten worse.
But eventually, he did.
Phil’s expression softened immediately, knowing what to do like this has happened dozens of times before, which it probably has.
“There you are, babe.”
Phil didn’t move his hand off Dan’s cheek. He just stayed there, his thumb wiping away tears from Dan’s eye.
“You’re alright,” he said softly. “I’m here. Take all the time you need.”
Dan inhaled and exhaled, never once looking away from Phil.
“I’m happy. Happy that we can be ourselves.” He admitted, burying his face in the other’s blonde locks.
“Me too.”
Phil didn’t rush him. He never did in times like these. He just stayed there, holding eachother in their arms like letting go for even a single second would erase all the years they were together.
Dan slowly exhaled again, shakier this time, then buried his face properly into Phil’s shoulder like he could disappear there if he tried hard enough.
“I think I just-” Dan started, then stopped, swallowing the rest of the sentence. His voice came out quieter. “No, it’s stupid…”
“You can tell me anything,” Phil said. “I wont think it’s stupid.”
After a moment, he shifted slightly, adjusting until he could wrap both arms around Phil properly.
“I keep thinking about how long we spent…” Dan paused, searching for the words. “Being careful.”
Phil hummed softly. “Yeah.”
“And now we don’t have to.”
“Yeah,” Phil repeated, softer this time.
Dan nodded against him like he needed to physically confirm it was real. “It’s just… weird.”
“Good weird?” Phil asked.
Dan hesitated, “Yeah. Good weird.”
“That’s good to know.”
They fell into a state of quiet, holding eachother as close as they physically could, the rain from the outside and passing cars being the only things to be heard.
“Go to bed, bub,” Dan murmured, gently pinching Phil’s cheek as they both let out a quiet giggle. “I know you’re tired.”
Phil didn’t give out a proper answer. Instead just making a sound of agreement as he burried himself where he lay on Dan’s chest.
Dan adjusted the blankets, being careful not to disturb the “giant sleepy baby” on top of him.
“Dan,” Phil said, the sleepiness obvious in his voice.
Dan looked down at him, running hid hand through Phil’s hair. “Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Dan let out a chuckle, pressing a kiss onto the other’s head. “I love you too.”