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At the backyard of the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, between multiple archery targets stood the blue-haired guy, gracefully holding out a ripe apple like the prince from the Snow White fairytale. Or the witch?
Across from him was Mika, clumsily adjusting his bow while trying to figure out whether the Vice Captain was offering the apple or himself as a target.
“Sorry, but are you…sure about this?” He inquired. “I’m not really good with arrows, I’m more of a polearm person. What if I cause an accident?”
“You won’t always find the time for a perfect practicing opportunity.” Lohen singsonged. “Besides, the higher the chance of failure, the better for me.”
“You mean the higher the chance of success?”
“No.”
Mika took a few deep breaths, in and out, slow and not-so-steady. He hadn’t even agreed to coming this far, all he’d uttered was a single sentence about how he wanted to be as strong as the other knights and the next thing he knew, Lohen had brought him there.
“You’re keeping me waiting, map boy.”
“Apologies!”
The surveyor straightened his back, keeping his composure to the best of his abilities as he finally aimed towards the apple.
The apple, not his hand. Come on, you can do this, you have to. You can’t mess up now, Mika, you just have to…
“Cheers to the inseparable duo!” Varka butted in, a large glass of beer in hand. He stopped at a reasonable distance where he could watch them without being a victim of one of those sharp arrows.
“Oh! Welcome, Grand Master.”
“I see you’ve come back from the tavern. Let me guess, Venti’s treat?”
“Indeed.” Varka took a sip and smiled to himself, looking all refreshed. “The only thing saving us from getting kicked out is his skills as a bard. And let me guess, are you bothering Mika again?”
“It’s not like that–”
“Honestly, yeah.” Lohen shrugged. Biting the apple as a silent sign of retreat, he walked over to the blond boy and placed an arm around his shoulder. “I was just about to get him to squirm a bit, but oh well.”
Mika laughed so nervously in response that him reading the laugh from Varka’s letter out loud in a monotone voice probably sounded less awkward in comparison.
Varka huffed a long huff. Even someone with his personality felt mature when next to these two rascals.
“You do you, I guess.” He mumbled, the drink already getting him a little woozy. “Tell me one thing though…what’s made you guys so palsy-walsy? Just a while ago, the most you’ve shown towards each other was respect.”
“Eh…” Mika’s dark blue eyes began tracing the details on the ground, taking note of the stone floor, the tiny pieces of grass, even the tiny ants that hurried to their home. His friend tapped his fingers which still rested on his shoulder.
“Now I can’t find one of you without the other around. What’s the deal?”
“We, uh, had a few lovely conversations and realized how compatible we actually are.”
“Yup! He gets to show me all around Mondstadt, I get to kill the monsters that are in his way. A fair deal, if you ask me.” Lohen laughed before giving the blond a pat on the back, playful but also rough. “Anyway, tell him the truth already.”
“Th-The truth? You mean the truth? Are you really okay with it?”
“Sure am. How rude of you to think I’d hide anything from our beloved Boreas.” He teased.
“Aha!” Varka pointed at the other two, some of the drink in hand being spilled on his shirt. “I knew there was more to your budding friendship! *hic* Tell me more, c’mon!”
“And he’s getting drunk…It’s your cue, Mika.”
The surveyor shifted uncomfortably, tugging at his coat. Their special encounter, the one that forever strengthened their bond, wasn’t the type of story one would enjoy telling while sitting by a fireplace. That is, unless the said person was into horror stories.
The blood and tears shed, the promises he’d forced Lohen to make afterwards, the night he’d spent awake concerned that his senior would kill himself…
Both of their heads were turned towards him, waiting for him to reminisce the terrors like sweet memories.
“Do you remember that one time Lohen had his arm bandaged for a whole week?” Mika began, the question aimed at Varka. “That wasn’t the result of injuries from a battle.”
“For real?” All ears, the older man finally put his beer aside.
★★★
Mondstadt, a nation that had nothing to offer to the bloodthirsty. Freedom is a double-edged sword, yet this region only focused on the good sides of it, protecting peace like their lives depended on it. Well, theirs did, his didn’t.
Not that the place completely lacked playthings, it actually provided a wide variety of them, from Ruin Guards to Hillichurls to Abyss Mages. Still, they all gave up so easily, and Lohen had never been that bored his entire life.
As usual, with endless boredom came horrifying thoughts. Or at least, they’d be horrifying for a mind reader. The Vice Captain had long gotten used to it.
Fun had always been available to him, with a dagger ready in one pocket and a bottle of healing potion in another. He was just uncertain whether it would be worth taking the risk. Lohen didn’t mind getting hurt in fights, he actually loved a tough 1v1 more than he’d admit, but he’d never willingly done harm to himself.
Actually, the idea of things going wrong thrilled him all the more. Maybe he’d hit a vein.
Who was he when no one needed his brute force? Who was he on a day off? A mere nobody.
Nobodies like him deserved to be punished.
Nobodies like him deserved to be rewarded.
Slowly, he rolled up his sleeve, exposing bare skin. His previous injuries had healed fast. What a shame. Even a single scar to look at would’ve been fine.
Just once, he reached for the dagger, enough to leave a mark and not much more. When the cold edge of the blade met flesh, he closed his eyes, revelling in the pain.
He moved carefully, a burning sensation already surrounding his wrist, followed by thick and warm blood running down, dripping.
Not enough. More, more!
He gave it another try. Faster this time, cutting deeper. No amount of pain was truly unbearable to him, but he involuntarily screamed. Good thing he was alone, as far as he was aware.
Good…this is great.
Then came another cut. Like his own body was a tool to experiment on, Lohen tried different places on his arm, going up and down and left and right. It became even more enjoyable once he started feeling a little numb. Could life be draining out of him?
He panted, gasped in pain, dipped the dagger in healing potion. Not to put an end to this madness, but to recover temporarily so he could keep going.
He did it all over again, a second time. When he raised the weapon again for a third time, a firm grip that almost hurt as much as the scars kept him in place.
“Ugh–”
If he hadn’t looked up at the right time to meet the intruder’s gaze, he would’ve stabbed Mika’s hand, the same hand that dared to stop him. Still, he was pissed. How could that have happened? How could he not be aware of watchful eyes? Had the blond snuck up on him?
Mika was lucky, he was far too innocent for him to take pleasure in damaging, his innocence also being the reason why he was loved by many. One of the Knights of Favonius members would notice without doubt if something were to happen to him, so he put on a sly grin instead.
“Oh my, if it isn’t the future cartographer! And here I thought no one would find me here…Did you need something?”
“Sir Lohen…why…?”
Mika’s grip loosened, his thumb tracing one of the open scars, smearing the blood. Lohen flinched -a good sign- before digesting the scene in front of him. The boy’s lips trembled, tears welled up in his eyes. A kind soul was out there, actually about to cry over his injuries.
“I’m afraid you didn’t find me at the right time, we should–”
“Why?! I saw it…I’ve seen it all, why would you do this to yourself…?!”
Lohen realized he didn’t have an answer to give to that. Correction, he did have one, but Mika would never understand no matter how much he explained it. He could already guess his next line: Who in their right mind would find satisfaction in violence?
“Calm down.” He commanded, voice not softened anymore. “I don’t need your bawling right now.”
“I know, I’m sorry…” Mika sniffled, regaining composure in an instant despite his widened eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry, I can't be panicking. It must be hard for you already. No, I should patch you up.”
He then looked around like a miracle would happen, like help would appear out of nowhere. Not much to Lohen’s surprise, because he’d chosen a silent cliff on purpose, it didn’t.
“I have no materials on me though…” Mika complained, coming up with a brilliant(?) idea on the spot. He took his blue coat off, folded it multiple times before noticing the potion bottle on the ground. He swiftly grabbed it to inspect the green liquid inside, shaking it a few times.
“It’s for healing.” Lohen informed. “Believe me, if I wanted to poison myself, I gladly would’ve done so.”
Once he heard Mika let out an exasperated sigh, Lohen wished he’d get mean for once and tell him to shut up. Whatever, he could push the boy’s buttons some other time. For now, he wasn’t feeling his best, almost desperately needing the help.
Most of it already poured on the ground or used previously, Mika applied what remained of the healing potion on the cloth, tenderly wrapping it around his senior’s wounded arm. He did it so carefully that it barely even hurt, not the kind of treatment Lohen preferred. Nevertheless, he said nothing about it, having already ruined his reputation.
“You’re quite good at this.” He commented to save face. “Do you often take care of people?”
“Not really.” Mika shook his head, appearing more collected after his previous breakdown, albeit shy as always when it came to conversing. “I did learn to care for myself and my brother at a young age because I just couldn’t be a burden to him, but I don’t think that counts. It’s my first time dealing with something of this level.”
Saying that, he returned to acting all cowardly, attempting to apply pressure with unstable hands.
“I said too much.” He apologized again. Lohen neither confirmed nor denied it. He’d learned something new about the boy who had never overshared before, it was something that’d require time to process.
“This should cease the bleeding. That doesn’t mean it can go without proper bandaging, though. We should head to the Headquarters, please…”
“The healing potion will suffice.”
“There were only a few drops of it left. It won’t…it can’t be enough. Please, sir, accept my help!”
Lohen cringed. Him? Accepting help? For his own action, which he didn’t even come close to regretting? He didn’t think so.
“You look pale, too.” Mika added. “Maybe our first destination should be Good Hunter. D-Don’t worry about the money, I have some on me!”
“Pfft– you think I’m worried about that? Alright, lead the way.”
Mika's eyes, otherwise dead-looking, shone brightly under the moonlight as he helped his senior up.
“Thank you…please, lean on me if you need. And– and…if you ever need someone to talk to…”
“Got it.”
Lohen didn’t know how much time had passed or how it had passed when they finally arrived back at Monstadt City. Mika guided him towards an empty table for two.
“Sir, what would you like to order?”
“Whatever you’re having.”
“Ah. I didn’t really think about it, hmm…how about some Sticky Honey Roast? Amber recommended it once, I’ve been eager to try it since.”
“Sure thing. Want me to do the ordering?” Lohen smirked.
“I’d appreciate it.”
Seeing him all nervous over accepting a favor as simple as that, the Vice Captain found it both amusing and intriguing. At first glance, he hadn't taken Mika for the people-pleaser type. He definitely didn’t appear as one.
He called for Miss Sara, and soon she came with their orders. Mika didn’t bring up the subject of what happened before, he didn’t bring up anything about the blue-haired boy, in fact. They talked about the weather, their jobs, trivial stuff that easily got lost in the rush of daily life. Needless to point out, Lohen did most of the talking. How could he not? His newfound friend was a good listener.
Either he was a slow eater or didn’t really have an appetite at the moment, Lohen found Mika waiting for him to finish his food. Even for an attention-seeking brat like him, being watched while eating was a stressful situation to be in, so he decided he’d talk about whatever, like he’d been doing for the past thirty minutes.
“Have you ever wanted to kill?”
What a conversation starter. He had that question in mind since Mika first appeared to ‘save’ him, it was about time he attempted to get a response. He couldn’t tell whether it was just a hunch or if there really was something fake about Mika’s attitude, as gentle as a dove on the outside.
“Have you ever had violent thoughts?” He reworded in case the initial question was too absurd.
He didn’t think Mika would respond.
He genuinely didn’t.
Especially not in such a way.
“I have.”
Lohen hardly swallowed the food stuck in his throat.
“I used to get bullied a lot when I was a kid. My voice, my timidness, my interests…everything was a flaw to them. Like I said before, I didn’t want to bother my brother with such stupid issues, so I learned to tend to my own wounds. He already had a lot to deal with, and those bullies were only children, quite like me. What could he possibly do about them? I thought it would pass at some point, yet it only got worse. I could never speak up for myself, so I started fantasizing about the things I’d do to them if I had the ability. I’d draw myself torturing them only to throw it in the trash.”
The unfinished meal sat on Lohen’s plate. He didn’t intend on finishing it anymore. Mika hid his face behind his hands.
“Sorry, I’m only telling these to answer you…this is so embarrassing, please don’t hate me!”
“Hate you?” A sinister laugh escaped his lips. “Mika, you have no idea how I wish I had known you when we were kids. You have no idea what I would’ve turned those assholes into if they had fallen in my hands. I’d grab them by the hair, smash their heads against a wall until it was colored in bright red, and once they weren’t breathing anymore, I’d–”
Mika gagged.
“Long story short, you should be glad it’s all in the past. Otherwise, I'd find where they currently live, one way or another." Lohen got up from his seat, looking more energetic than before he ate anything. Life wasn’t drained out of him, after all. “So, are you gonna keep your promise and assist me with the bandaging?”
“Y-Yes, sir!”
They waved Sara goodbye. His other hand, which still ached because of the scars on his arm, was held by the younger. As they walked alongside the quiet city, his entire view on Mika had crashed and turned into something more evil. Did he fear it? Nah, he’d never been introduced to fear in his life. Perhaps it was adrenaline that he felt upon taking off the surveyor’s mask, even if for one time only.
He could shape him into his worst self. He could bring out the wild animal in him and have the whole world witness the corruption.
He didn’t have any hopes of it being the other way around.