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Cruel King Forgets to Kill Player After Getting Gender Education

Summary:

Alternate universe where Player and Cruel King don't fight on a technicality abt Player's gender

idk it's supposed to be funny

Notes:

HUGE SHOUTOUT TO MINTCHOCOLATKAT FOR TRANSLATING THIS INTO SOMETHING AO3 CAN READ BTW THIS WAS ORIGINALLY NEVER GOING TO SEE THE LIGHT OF AO3

EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU KAT

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

• Cruel King: It is bold, YOU know...

Breaking in... dismantling my GUARDS...

Do YOU even know what is at stake, intruder?

I have seen the FUTURE.

I have seen what's to come.

These tormenting VISIONS...

The knowledge that BLACKROCK KINGDOM is doomed to fall......

How do YOU think I feel? Withholding this accursed knowledge from my people?

That their happiness... their home...

...It will all be gone in only a few years.

Explain yourself. What is it YOU are here for?

 

You explain that you're here for the Ice Dagger; for Shedletsky. For Builderman.

 

Cruel King: YOU delude yourself into thinking YOU are the hero of this story...

This couldn't be further from the truth.

With the ICE DAGGER I will save my people, and no MAN or WOMAN will stop me!

 

You interrupt him to explain that you're actually neither man nor woman. You're nonbinary.

 

• So... technically, you could stop him...

 

• He looks confused.

 

• Cruel King: Nonbinary?

What does that mean? What trickery are you trying to pull here?

 

• You put away your sword and ball, knowing this is going to take a while.

 

• You decide to start by explaining your gender. You're nonbinary, so you are neither male nor female, and you go by they/them pronouns...

 

• He looks confused.

 

• Cruel King: How can that be? Everyone is either born MALE or FEMALE.

Are you saying you were born neither?

 

• Ah. You explain that he is thinking of birth sex, and that sex and gender are two different things. You were born one sex, but your gender is nonbinary...

 

• He looks confused.

 

• Cruel King: I don't understand. How are gender and sex different?

Are they not the same?

MEN are born with one set of genitals and
WOMEN are born with a different set.

 

• You explain again, differently this time, that sex is what you are born as, but your gender can be different. Gender is made up of what society says it is.

 

"King" could be his gender if he wanted it to be.

 

• Of course, you don't explain that sex can be changed. That would just confuse him more.

 

• You think this is the best way to explain it. It's not like you know everything...

 

• He looks like he's starting to understand.

 

• Cruel King: I see... So you were born MALE or FEMALE, but you are actually Nonbinary?

That makes sense. I could tell neither if you were MAN nor WOMAN.

Are you the only one?

Or are there other Nonbinary people in my kingdom?

 

• You explain that due to the size of his kingdom, there might be one or two, but you don't know for certain.

 

• You explain that the way someone presents themselves doesn't necessarily indicate their gender. He would have to ask his citizens himself.

 

• You explain that you simply like looking androgynous. It's the best way to express yourself...

 

• He looks like he's understanding better.

 

• Cruel King: Androgynous?

Is that what you are?

How is it that you learned of such a term?

Why have I never heard of Nonbinary people if there are so many of you?

 

• You explain that, since you're from the future, it's easier to find nonbinary people. The past was not quite as welcoming in some locations as the future is.

 

• You also explain that you found out you were nonbinary thanks to your local LGBTQ+ community in the future...

 

• He looks like he understands a bit better now.

 

• Cruel King: LGBTQ+ community?

What is this group?

I must meet them.

 

• You hold back a snicker as you explain that the LGBTQ+ community isn't really one group, especially not in the past. The LGBTQ+ community in Blackrock might only be a small handful of people...

 

• He looks confused.

 

• Cruel King: Only a small handful of people?

How can that be if there are so many of you in the FUTURE?

 

• He must not know. You explain that, historically, LGBTQ+ people haven't really been welcomed in many places, so they often hide. They are likely either in hiding, or haven't been able to discover themselves...

 

• He looks mad.

 

• Cruel King: In hiding?!

Unwelcome?!

In my kingdom?

Preposterous!

Why would my people be in hiding from me?

Everyone is welcome in my kingdom... Except forYOU, of course.

 

• You resist the urge to roll your eyes and explain that if he never made a public statement welcoming them, then they probably don't feel welcome by default. Better safe than sorry, you always say...

 

• He looks furious.

 

• He suddenly stands from his throne and roughly grabs your arm, marching you down to the castle doors.

 

• Cruel King: I do not likeYOU, but this is something that must be changed, and I need an expert.

 

• You open your mouth to protest that you are the furthest thing from an expert, but you quickly shut it once you see his murderous glint.

 

• You know he loves his people, but this is ridiculously dramatic.

 

• He drags you up a flight of stairs to the balcony hanging over the grand doors, presumably to address his people...

 

• He looks pleased.

 

• Cruel King: Citizens of Blackrock!

It has come to my attention that there may be some of you may be Nonbinary, and feeling unwelcome.

Fret not! All are welcome in Blackrock!

It is by my royal decree that-

 

• You interrupt his speech to whisper in his ear that if he's going to welcome nonbinary people, then he should welcome transgender people too.

 

• Cruel King: Oh, and Transgender people!-

 

• And gay people.

 

• Cruel King: And Gay people-

 

• And lesbians.

 

• Cruel King: And Lesbians...-

 

• And bisexual people.

 

• Cruel King: And Bisexual-

 

• And-

 

• Cruel King:

Stop interrupting me!

 

• He pulls you both away from the balcony, leaving the onlookers below confused while he whispers harshly in your ear.

 

• You try to explain that you just want to make sure he welcomes everyone.

 

• He looks displeased.

 

• Cruel King: How is it that there are so many OF YOU, yet I have not heard a peep from anyone in any kingdom?

I will not hesitate to throw you into the moat if you are deceiving me.

 

• You try to explain that there likely aren't many, but there's a lot of labels in the LGBTQ+ community.

 

• He looks frustrated.

 

• Cruel King: IfYOU are such an expert, then you will return tomorrow to educate me on the LGBTQ+ community so I may give a proper welcoming speech to them.

Understood?

 

• You nod.

 

• He looks satisfied.

 

• Cruel King: Good.

Leave, and don't even think about swiping theICE DAGGER on your way out.

We will discuss that after my announcement tomorrow.

 

• You leave without a second thought, speeding past guards and citizens. Looks like you have to give a class to the king tomorrow.

 

• Better start preparing now.

 

• And maybe you can steal the Ice Dagger from him tomorrow too.

Notes:

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