Work Text:
Randy : “Hey Bob! It’s those bums who tried to steal our chicks!”
(Randy points at the three greasers: Ponyman, Johnnycakes and Darry Queen)
Bob : “Darn, it is! Let’s go crush their spirits with our sick lyrics n’ hits!”
Paul : “BOO! Hey guys, I’ll come too. After all, three is better than two!”
(While going up to them, Paul aggressively snaps his fingers while walking like a Nickelodeon bully)
Paul : “Hello, Darrel. We challenge you to a ra-ra-ra-ra RAP BATTLE!”
Darry Queen : “Y-y-y-y you’re ON!”
Paul : “Yeah, ya know me, I’m Paul. Built like a brick wall. You mess with me? I’ll make you fall. I’m in college while you work THREE JOBS!”
Bob & Randy : “OUHHHH SHIII”
Darry Queen : “Hey Paul, you’re really not that strong. For the record, I still play ball. You were only on my team cuz you were the last call!”
Bob : “Don’t talk to him like that, grease! I got five rings that’ll make your face sting. I’ve already jumped your friend— Johnny — you wanna be next? If ya think I’m joking, go ahead, place your bets.”
Ponyman : “Yo, the name’s Ponyboy, but you can call me Ponyman. I rap about things you don’t even understand. I picked up ya broad before you even had the chance. You see my brother? Yeah, he’s built like Superman (Darrel flexes his muscles) — tuff, tough, and not scrawny, unlike Johnny in that vacant lot. But that’s okay, cuz I’m better than him!”
Johnnycakes : “.. Hey Pony! That’s not nice! Just give me a few words, that’ll suffice.
Uhh.. I-I’m Johnny Cade, but I go by Johnnycakes. I like to bake and sometimes eat cake. I eat frozen steak cuz I don’t have a microwave.. and I don’t like to paint cuz I’m.. Johnny Cade..?
Uh— I’m sorry Pones! I’m no better than a bag of bones!!”
Randy : “Hahahaha! That was so lame. Bob, let’s diss him so hard nobody’ll even miss him!”
B : “You’re not tuff,”
R : “or buff!”
B : “You see these rings? They’re no bluff.”
R : “The only flicker of life in ya life is a cigarette butt— and when you see this car? You jump like a scared mutt.”
B : “Oh, and that hoodlum you're always hanging around? Yeah, he’s only ever seen in handcuffs!”
(Socs laugh and boo him and Johnnycake’s eyes turn RED like blazin fire..)
Johnnycakes : “Y’know what, I’m sick of this!
Hey Paul, you make my skin crawl. Plus, your head is lowkey shaped like a football. It’s no wonder you were the last call, if you weren’t, you’d be loitering at the mall!”
Darry Queen : “Johns, that was so FIRE! You’re making their situation even more dire!”
Johnnycakes : “You, Randy, you’re so unmanly. Hell, you even look so uncanny— I bet you’d cry over your granny. You see that mustang ya got? It kinda looks RUST-AY! I wouldn’t trust that junk with my life, ya see? The only drink you can handle is a SUNNY. D!”
Ponyman : “Sick BURN, you’re making their stomachs turn!!”
Johnnycakes : “And you, Bob, remember me from that vacant lot!? You prolly thought you were so tuff but you were really not. Honestly, you can keep counting your stacks, but in the end, you’ll always be the same privileged brat. Yea that church might’ve broken my back, but when you saw this switchblade, you were taken aback!”
Ponyman & Darry Queen : “OOHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Bob : “Erm.. Randy, let’s get outta here! We gotta go before things get too severe!”
Randy : “Uhh.. okay.”
(They drive off menacingly without Paul)
Paul : “Hey guys, what about me?!?! It’s okay, I can still come next time. I’m always free.”
Darry Queen : “Always free ya say.. then why don’t you come home with me?? 😳”
They kiss romantically ig ok sorry bye